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| A_HOLE.WAV | Dr. Evil: [CLICK] "Oww...you shot me you a-hole!" [CLICK] | 15.1kb |
| ATEABABY.WAV | Fat Bastard: "I ate a baby! Oh aye...baby: the other OTHER white meat! Baby: it's what's for dinner!" | 25kb |
| BABYRIBS.WAV | Fat Bastard singing Chili's "I Want My Baby Back Ribs." | 33.6kb |
| BADTHING.WAV | Austin: "Smashing, baby. Then we can track down Fat Bastard, get my mojo, go back to my place, hop on the good foot and do the bad thing." | 19.6kb |
| BAGCHIPS.WAV | Dr. Evil: "You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips." | 6.75kb |
| BIGBOY.WAV | Dr. Evil: " Scott...daddy's working, okay? And when you're in the main chamber try and use the big boy voice, okay? Thank you." | 23kb |
| BIGDOPE.WAV | Dr. Evil: "As you know;
every diabolical scheme that I have hatched has been thwarted by Austin
Powers. And why is that ladies and gentlemen?"
Scott: "Cause you never kill him when you get the chance to, and you're a big dope." |
32.1kb |
| CHAIR.WAV | Dr. Evil: "All I asked for was a frickin' rotating chair, okay? Whoa, okay. Okay, okay, okay...getting a little afraid. I need an old priest and a young priest. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!..." | 77.3kb |
| CLAPPER.WAV | [CLAP CLAP]
Ivana: "When did you get the clapper?" Austin: "November, 1964...Dutch East Indies...shore leave." |
27.5kb |
| CLONED.WAV | Number Two: "Dr. Evil,
while you were frozen, we began a program to clone you."
Dr. Evil: "Cool." Frau: "Send in the CLONE!" Number Two: He is exactly like you in every way...except one-eighth your size." |
51.4kb |
| COFESHIT.WAV | Austin: "This
coffee smells like shit!" Basil: "It IS shit, Austin!" Austin: "Oh good, then it's not just me. [SIP, PAUSE] It's a bit nutty." |
48.6kb |
| CORNCRAP.WAV | Fat Bastard: "Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap!" | 19.6kb |
| CRAPDECK.WAV | Fat Bastard: "I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Oh...it's squinchy!" | 18.6kb |
| CROSEYED.WAV | Austin: "Wait a tick. Basil, if I traveled back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go visit my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the nineties and traveled back to...oh no, I've gone cross-eyed." | 39.5kb |
| CRZYMOFO.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mo'fo. I had to pop a cop 'cause he wasn't givin' me my 'props in Oaktown. No? I heard that somewhere." | 21.2kb |
| DEADSEXY.WAV | Fat Bastard: "I'm rich and I'm dead sexy!" [VARIOUS MOANS AND GROANS] | 28.3kb |
| DETHSTAR.WAV | Dr. Evil: "You see,
I've turned the moon into what I like to call: a 'Death Star."
Scott: [CHUCKLE] Dr. Evil: "What?" Scott: "Naw, nuthin', Darth." Dr. Evil: "What did you call me?" Scott: "Naw, nuthin'...RIP OFF!" Dr. Evil: "Bless you." |
43.3kb |
| DICK.WAV | All about a huge...rocket. | 106kb |
| DIETEVIL.WAV | Dr. Evil: "You're quasi-evil.You're semi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough." | 27.5kb |
| EATMINI.WAV | Fat Bastard: "Wait a minute...he kinda looks like a baby. C'mere, I'm gonna eat ya! I'm bigger than you. I'm higher on the food chain! Get in my belly...c'mon!" | 43.3kb |
| EVILCHRM.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Charming." | 3.44kb |
| EVILLAFF.WAV | The Dr.Evil laugh. | 34.4kb |
| EVILRITE.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Right..." | 4.97kb |
| FATBSTRD.WAV | Dr. Evil: "He's a disgruntled Scottish guard known for his lethal temper and his unusual eating habits. He weighs a metric ton. His name: Fat Bastard." | 27kb |
| FBFARTED.WAV | Fat Bastard: [FLATULENCE] "Sorry...I farted." | 17.6kb |
| FBUNHAPY.WAV | Felicity: "You didn't
answer my question...are you happy?" Fat Bastard: "Course I'm no happy! Look at me, I'm a big fat slob! I've got bigger titties than you do! I've got more chins than a Chinese phone book! I've not seen my willy in two years, which is long enough to declare legally dead!" |
53.2kb |
| FEMBOT.WAV | Austin: "Oh
my God! Vanessa, you're a Fembot!" Vanessa (Fembot): "No shit, Sherlock." |
32.1kb |
| FLOATER.WAV | Austin: "Oh my God! Fat Bastard left a floater!" | 12.5kb |
| GETUAP.WAV | Dr. Evil: "I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers. I'm gonna get you! [DR. EVIL AND MINI-ME IN UNISON] MUHAHAHA, MUHAHAHAH, MUHAHAHA!" | 29.3kb |
| GIRLFRND.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Don't go there, girlfriend...[FINGER SNAP] mmhmm." | 7.25kb |
| GONNACRY.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Huh, you wanna be daddy, is that it? Number Two, you wanna wear the daddy pants? Huh, you gonna cry...? | 49.1kb |
| GRRBABY.WAV | Austin: "Grrr, baby! Very grr!" | 7.51kb |
| HUMPLAZR.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Mini-Me, heh, stop humping the laser, heh heh. Okay, honest to God. Why don't you and the giant laser get a frickin' room for Godsakes." | 27.5kb |
| HUNGRY.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Mini-Me, are you hungry? Something to eat? Not even a Hot Pocket? An Eggo? No, no, we don't gnaw on our kitty. Leave min-noo...leave Mini-Mr. Bigglesworth alone. Just love him...stroke him." | 24.7kb |
| IDIOT.WAV | Scott: "You're an idiot." | 3.19kb |
| INEPT.WAV | Scott: "Great plan, Einstein. Well you're gonna put in a cell with one inept guard and they'll escape! God, you do this every time!" | 25kb |
| IVANA.WAV | Austin: "Who are you,
baby?" Ivana: "Ivana, Ivana Humpalot." Austin: "S'cuse me?" Ivana: "Ivana Humpalot." Austin: "And I want a toilet made out of solid gold but its just not in the cards now, is it?" |
43.3kb |
| JERRY1.WAV | Jerry Springer: "If you just joined us, today's topic is: 'My Father Is Evil And He Wants To Take Over The World." | 16.3kb |
| JERRY2.WAV | Jerry Springer: "Hi,
Scott, been nice to have you with us. Uh, tell us about your father."
Scott: "Um, well, my dad is the head of a worldwide evil organization with, uh, aspirations of world domination [CROWD BOOS]." |
31.6kb |
| JERRY3.WAV | Jerry Springer: "Wow,
pretty serious stuff. Where is he now?" Scott: "Um, he's like, cryogenically frozen orbiting the Earth or somethin'." Jerry Springer: "That's what you think. But, we have a surprise for you, Scott. Okay, let's bring out Scott's father, Dr. Evil! [CROWD BOOS]" |
47.3kb |
| JERRY4.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Hello, Scott.
Daddy's back." Scott: "How could you do this to me...on national television?!" Dr. Evil: "Well throw me a frickin' bone here, Scott." |
25.5kb |
| JERYFITE.WAV | Dr. Evil VS. Jerry Springer. | 66.4kb |
| JUDOCHOP.WAV | Felicity: "Juudo CHOP!"
Fat Bastard: "OHHH- right in the mommy-daddy button!" |
15.5kb |
| KAMIKAZE.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Here's your wedding present, Mr. Powers; a kamikaze bride from me, Dr. Evil." | 16.3kb |
| KRMASTRA.WAV | Austin: "Why don't
we shag." Vanessa: "Again?" Austin: "Sure, baby! We're only up to chapter eleven in the Karma Sutra. Doncha wanna try the 'Wheel Barrow' or the 'Praying Donkey' or 'The Chinese Shag Swing?" |
28kb |
| LEGBROKN.WAV | Mustafa: "Hello up there! I seem to have fallen down a cliff. I'm still alive, but I'm very badly injured. I think my legs might be broken but I'll try to stand up...[CRACK]..." | 88kb |
| LOSTMOJO.WAV | Austin: "Croikee! I've lost my mojo!" | 15.6kb |
| LOWER.WAV | Austin: "How does that
feel, baby?" Felicity: "Mmm, lower." Austin: [IN DEEP VOICE] "How does that feel, baby?" |
18.4kb |
| MACHNGUN.WAV | Austin: "Machine gun jubblies! How did I miss those, baby?" | 11.3kb |
| MCGUIRE.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Show me
the money." The President: "Show you what money?" Dr. Evil: "Show me the money, show me the money! You had me at hello...tear...nothing?" Scott: "It's 1969. Jerry McGuire won't even come out for another thirty years. Nobody knows what you're talking about...ass." |
48.6kb |
| MINIME.WAV | Dr. Evil: "I shall call him 'Mini-Me." | 26kb |
| MOJO.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Austin Powers
always defeats me because he has...Mojo." Number Two: "Mojo?" Dr. Evil: "Mojo. The libido, the life-force, the essence, the right stuff. What the French call a certain...'I Don't Know What." |
40.5kb |
| MYIMAGE.WAV | Dr. Evil: "I already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins." | 21.7kb |
| NOSCOTT.WAV | Scott: "If you have
a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers while
he's sitting on the crapper or something?" Dr. Evil: "How about NO, Scott, okay?" |
24.7kb |
| PARSONS.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Anyways, the key to this plan is the giant laser. It was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist; Dr. Parsons, therefore we shall call it the 'Alan Parsons Project..." | 69.4kb |
| PENIS.WAV | More about that giant...rocket. | 125kb |
| RANDY.WAV | Austin: "Do I make you horny, baby. Do I? Do I make you randy?! Yeah? | 20.3kb |
| REALLAZR.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Well actually that was just footage from the move 'Independence Day.' But the real laser would be a lot like that...yeah...scary." | 23.5kb |
| ROADKILL.WAV | Scott: "Dad, he put
this in my bed!" Dr. Evil: "Who?" Scott: "Your stupid...Mini-You! He put roadkill in my sheets!" |
21.2kb |
| SEXYCRAP.WAV | Fat Bastard: "Oh is that all the thanks I get for the night of hot sex? I'm dead sexy. You were crap!" | 23kb |
| SEXYMAN.WAV | Fat Bastard: "Well surprise, surprise, huh?! Look at that now, huh? I'm dead sexy! Look at my sexy body. Oh yeah, oh look at, I'm like a singer. [SINGING TO THE TUNE OF THE ORGINAL 'SPIDERMAN' THEME SONG] 'Sexy man, sexy man! Eating like a sexy man can!" | 50.1kb |
| SHDOTCOM.WAV | Dr. Evil: "WWW, shh, dot com, dot org." | 19.9kb |
| SMOKESEX.WAV | Vanessa: "Do you smoke
after sex?" Austin: "I dunno, baby, I never looked." |
23.7kb |
| SWALLOWS.WAV | Robin Swallows: "My
name is Robin Swallows." Austin: "Swallows...that's an interesting name." Robin Swallows: "Maiden name; 'Spitz." |
20.9kb |
| SWINGER.WAV | Robin Swallows: "Tell
me, Mr. Powers, do you swing?" Austin: "Are you kidding, baby? I put the 'GRR' in swinger, baby!" |
25.2kb |
| SXYBITCH.WAV | Austin: "Can I borrow that, please? [SHOOTING PHOTOS] Thank you. Yes, Austin, yes, yes. Look at me, I'm a sexy bitch, baby, yeah. You're a popsicle, yes. NO, NO! Huh huh huh, and I'm spent." | 33.4kb |
| SXYBTCH2.WAV | Austin: "I am a sexy bitch, yes." | 10.5kb |
| TALKHAND.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore." | 7.76kb |
| TRILLION.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Why make
trillions when we could make...billions?" Scott: "A trillion is more than a billion, numbnuts." |
20.2kb |
| TURNEDON.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to travel through time, I bid you adieu. [SLAMS INTO TIME MACHINE] *OOF!* I'm okay, I'm okay. Not turned on I suppose." | 44.5kb |
| TURTLHED.WAV | Fat Bastard: "First thing's first! Where's your shitter? I've got a turtle head pokin' out." | 17.1kb |
| UNIBRAU.WAV | Frau: "I have come to embrace the love that dare not speak it's name. To my right is my lover. We met at the LPGA tour. Her name is Unibrau." | 26kb |
| URFATHER.WAV | Dr. Evil: "Austin...I
am your father." Austin: "Really?" Dr. Evil: "No, not really. I can't back that up." |
41.5kb |
| UVHADFAT.WAV | Fat Bastard: "Listen, missy. Do you fancy another go? 'Cause once you've had fat you never go back! HAHAHA!" | 21.7kb |
| WERSEXY.WAV | Austin: "Wait a tick,
who are you?" Austin from ten minutes from now: "I'm you ten minutes from now." Austin: "Dammit, you are handsome!" Austin from ten minutes from now: "I was just thinking the same." Austin: "We are sexy! We are sexy bitches, yeah!" |
42.8kb |
| ZIPIT.WAV | Probably the funniest piece of dialogue in the entire movie...Dr. Evil telling Scott to zip it. | 97.3kb |
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