The collaboration question concerned Judas, as in a Judas among us. I felt and still feel, narrow-minded and closed minded people are akin to the feeling of a Judas among us.
Rainbow-colored Glasses
A Gay Opinion 6/12/01
by R.A. Melos
A person in one of the many on-line discussion groups of which I am a member,
defined being gay as something you do in bed. So homosexuality, in the minds
of some homosexuals, is nothing more than a sexual act. So, my question is,
if homosexuality is, in its base form, merely a sexual act, what is heterosexuality?
The majority of the population is, supposedly, heterosexual, and simply by acts
of marriage, public displays of affection such as holding hands, and all the
legal rights associated with it, heterosexuality is associated with more than
a mere sexual act. So, I, as a homosexual, feel it is time everyone, gay and
straight alike, start to respect the fact homosexuality, without the legal benefits
of marriage, is also something more than merely a sexual act.
In my opinion, both homosexuality and heterosexuality are emotional ways different
people view the world. We get to hear, on a daily basis, the heterosexual viewpoint
of everything from politics to the weather; with the exception of the disco
hit made famous by The Weather Girls, "It's Raining Men," which obviously
crosses sexual lines making it a shared viewpoint.
Along with the heterosexual viewpoint of everything else, we also get to hear
the heterosexual viewpoint on homosexuality which, aside from those right-wing
heterosexuality-is-the-only-way or only-"normal"-act attitudes, still
brings homosexuality down to the level of being nothing more than a sexual act.
When this attitude is repeated enough even homosexuals begin to define their
essence of being as nothing more than a sexual act.
I was born as I am, sexually speaking, with the natural desire to pair up with
a member of the same sex. Not just any member of the same sex, but with one
to whom I am sexually and emotionally attracted. Being born with a "gay
perspective" or viewpoint, I tend to see everything in terms of homosexuality.
When I look at a work of art, I see the beauty in it, but I may be seeing different
beauty then a heterosexual would see. After all, beauty is in the eye of the
beholder.
So, when I look at the Mona Lisa I see the beauty in the brush strokes which
immortalized a chubby girl with a nice smile, while others see a portrait of
a women whom many people today consider to be the epitome of beauty for her
time. When I see Michelangelo's David I see the sexual beauty of ancient man,
while others see the skill and workmanship of a talented sculptor.
This doesn't mean I can't appreciate a truly beautiful woman, simply because
I am not sexually attracted to her. Nor do I want to hop in the sack with every
handsome man I see, regardless of his sexuality, just because he is handsome.
However, if I am to believe pop-culture, as preached to me by film, television,
and all media forms, including heterosexual men themselves, I must believe all
heterosexual men want to have sex with EVERY woman they see.
Now I know this is a myth, just as it is a myth all homosexual men want to have
sex with EVERY man they see. Let me assure many of you heterosexual men out
there, you are perfectly safe to roam nude beaches, locker rooms, public restrooms,
or the streets in general without fearing your masculinity may be in question
because a gay man might find you attractive. Guys, most of you are lucky you
could attract anyone of the same species, let alone the same sex.
Of course the media perpetuates both myths equally, making it difficult to not
look at everyone you see as a perspective life companion. At least, the single
people who are looking for life partners will be checking out every slab of
flesh wandering by, with an eye for a package with whom they might enjoy spending
some time.
When confronted with this possibility I thank the universal powers, or whatever
power you might believe in, I have enough sense to think for myself and not
follow blindly the media propaganda machine which tells me I should be attracted
to EVERY man I see. For me, being gay is about more than a brief, or not so
brief if its done right, sexual act.
For me, being gay is about expressing who I was born to be, by living my life
openly and honestly, without feeling the need to apologize for being born gay,
or without the need for the approval of society in general. All I want from
the general heterosexual society is the respect to live my life as I see fit,
without the constant need to fight for the same respect heterosexuals take for
granted.
I view the world through rainbow-colored glasses, seeing the inequality with
which homosexuals are treated. I see heterosexual couples engaged in public
displays of affection ranging from soul kissing on a street corner to walking
along, sided by side, holding hands, to an affectionate touch on the cheek or
tousle of the hair, and realize heterosexuals take these actions for granted.
On the other hand, heterosexuals don't see, very often, those same acts between
companions of the same sex, because most often those same actions would incur
ridicule, open hostility, and possible violence.
When a heterosexual couple reaches out to hold hands, neither partner has the
thought they may be risking a physical attack by someone who doesn't approve
of their natural born inclinations to show affection for one another, but there
isn't a gay person out there who hasn't wanted to touch their partner in a similar
manner and either paused or refrained from doing so because of the very real
threat from a closed minded society.
Being gay is so much more than a shared bed and a sexual act, its about natural
attractions being acknowledged, natural affections being exchanged, without
the fear of violence or social ostracism because you are just being yourself.
It's about not having to watch every move you make, or everything you say, for
fear of offending closed minded heterosexuals. It's about being honest with
society and yourself, and not living in fear.
I've heard some of the most ridiculous statements claiming homosexuals don't
breed so we have to recruit others into our lifestyles. Hey, all of you heterosexuals,
listen up. Women give birth, and some of these women are lesbians, so homosexuals
can and do breed. Also, most homosexuals of my generation were born from heterosexual
parents. So, heterosexuals breed homosexuals.
Another point I'm going to make is the obvious one. I, and most homosexuals,
don't live our lives to perpetuate the species. This may appear selfish to those
heterosexuals out there who have multiple numbers of children because they believe
it's what God wants, and you know what, maybe it is selfish. I know I never
wanted to be a father, even when I was too young to understand what went into
being a father. I have never had that so-called natural desire to raise a small
version of myself.
I actually find the concept of parenting something so uninteresting to me, I've
never given it much thought one way or the other. When I think about the egotistical
attitude associated with parenthood, the desire to carry on the family name,
or the need to have someone to remember me when I'm gone, I'm overwhelmed at
the level of selfishness I see in the heterosexual community. If anything, homosexuals
are the one who are more socially minded by foregoing the egotistical reproduction
of themselves, allowing for egotistic heterosexuals to breed without thought
for the resources of the planet.
I don't believe you can recruit or coerce anyone into a homosexual lifestyle,
who isn't already inclined by nature to be homosexual. I don't go looking for
heterosexuals to "convert" since there are far more gay men available
than ever, and closeted guys or truly straight guys don't interest me. I've
got so many more important things to do with my life, including finding a life
partner who lives up to my expectations of what a life partner should be, just
as heterosexuals expect of their life partners.
If our sexuality, both heterosexuality and homosexuality, was truly only about
a sexual act, it would make the entire world so much easier to cope with, because
we would all admit to being animals with sexual desires, act on those desires,
and then go back to the business of running the world, creating great works
of art, and expressing ourselves without the need to define ourselves in any
way.
Oh well, that ain't ever gonna happen. So, I'm still a gay male who writes and
expresses myself through the art of word arrangement. What are you?