He came to us during the worst snowstorm I've ever seen. Thank God we live on a highway or he would have been born at home.He was 7 lbs. 6 oz's. A beautiful black haired, black eyed little boy. We named him Ryder. Like the song by the Doors, "Riders on the Storm." He was such a joy. My fourth child. Not planned, but a blessing in disguise. He was born a week before Valentine's Day. My husband, Wayne & I own a Homemade Candy Store in New Jersey. No sooner did I get home from the hospital and I was needed in "the store." We live in our business, so there's no way to get any rest. Not even if you've just had a baby. Two days later Ryder was at the babysitters. He was a lucky kid. It was like he had 2 moms. Laurie was like a mom too. She's in her forties and has 2 boys of her own. I trusted her with his life. Little did I know that because of her, his life would be short lived. I told her all the time. "Take care of my baby!" She said "No problem!" I looked foward to the summer. My store wasn't to busy & I had more time with all my kids. On August 22, 1996 I had a wedding order to finish up. Wayne had to get my car fixed & asked me if I wanted him to drop Ryder off at Laurie's. My daughter really didn't want to watch him. She was only 11 and she wanted to play with her girlfriends. I told Wayne to bring him over & I'd pick him up after one of our employee's came in to work a little later on. My employee came in at noon & I was just about to leave when my daughter, Tanya, came running out of the house yelling that Laurie was on the phone & something was wrong. Two police cars went wailing past our house right before the phone call. Instantly I knew: Ryder drowned. Nothing was said about a pool or a drowning, but I just knew. Two weeks before I had a vision of Ryder floating face down in water, but I shook it of as a terrible thought. Not an omen or a warning of some sort. To this day I curse myself for sending him to "the sitters." When we (the kids too) got to Lauries we found Ryder on the living room floor, being worked on. As soon as I started yelling to him to come back, the paramedics got a pulse. Faint, but a pulse. They took him to the local hospital and worked on him forever (it seemed.) They finally let us in and I told Ryder to hang in there. Don't leave us!! At that point he was trying to breath on his own. He was fighting the respirator. It was a good sign. They flew him to Jersey Shore Medical Center. It is supposed to be one of the best hospitals. It had a Trauma Center. When they finally let us see him the doctor said as long as we kept quiet and kept his brain from reacting to any sudden noise or movement he had a chance. They didn't want him to have any seizures. It was the longest night of my life. What I thought were huccups were seizures. They lasted all night and got worse and worse. By morning they stopped. Ryder was still with us but barely. The doctors said there was a slight chance, but there was a chance. I asked about organ donation, and they told me not to jump the gun. By God's will Ryder might make it. I prayed he would make it, but somewhere deep in side, I knew we were going to lose him. All the family started showing up. No one thought it was that serious, because I really didn't let on how serious I thought it was. I'm known as The Rock of the family .I never even cried. I called Laurie & told her she had to help me "bring him back" He knew her voice as much as mine. If he wouldn't come back for me, maybe he'd listen to her. Well a fight almost broke out, between my in-law's & Laurie. The minister had to break them up. I asked everyone to leave, and just sat with Ryder and talked to him. I told him he could go & be with my father on the other side. I feel my Dad let me keep him for a few more days to give me the time I never really got with him because of my job. The next afternoon Ryder was gone. He lives on though. A part of him is in Katie. She's his kidney recipient. She's in her 50's & also lives somewhere here in New Jersey. I wrote to her once, and she answered. I want to write her again soon, but I feel I should let her recover some more. Just in case I upset her. I don't want to upset her. Another part of him is in a 6 mo. old (at the time of transplant) little girl. I'll probably never find out who she is. She got his heart valve. His heart was injured in the accident. He lives on in these people. I can keep going because of that. Everyone I meet knows about my little angel. I tell everyone about him.
