Mouse
I have a small potting shed in my back yard.
Its a lovely little building that has served various functions for me in
the years that I've occupied this particular piece of property. Even
in winter, I am able to use the space thanks to a perfect, miniature, wood
burning stove that can heat the interior to 80 degrees despite a blizzard.
I have spent hours sitting at an old card
table that is tucked into a corner of the shed; writing, planning my gardens,
thinking, knitting and reading. Some time back, when I first began
to study the Craft, I converted the whole thing to a witch's study.
I was new to everything and had never conducted a formal ritual in my life.
I kept everything I gathered to aid my studies out of my house and in this
private, locked place. I needed to complete my preliminary research
before I could expose my husband and children to witchcraft.
When I was finally ready to attempt a ritual
then, I logically decided to bless and sanctify the shed. I was terribly
nervous. I created a small, simple altar in the north east corner
and began to fumble my way through anxiety and ignorrance. I felt
open and raw and cycled through euphoria and dread almost faster than I
could recognize the emotions. I felt Right & Natural; what would
my mother say? I felt the presence of Spirit; what would my priest
say? I felt a sense of control and personal power; what would my
psychologist say?
Somewhere in the middle of preparing the altar,
I began to hear small noises. I nearly quit. Instead, after
a quick 'Hail Mary', I took hold of my active imagination and chose
to ignore the sounds. I inventoried my instincts and realized that
I did not feel threatened, just . . . accompanied. I finished my
work and gathered up the materials I had used to perform the ritual. (Curiousity?
A candle stub, a newly hand molded, clay Christian cross, some ashes, some
sage, some salt, some water.) I wrapped everything in
a white cloth and took the bundle outside where I buried it underneath
a stepping stone that lies at the entrance to the shed.
Upon returning to the candle lit interior,
my eyes met those of a small, still field mouse sitting on one of
the low, exposed rafters of the shed. Thouroughly unnerved by her
presence, I froze. She simply continued to watch me with tiny, bright
eyes. I immediately realized that the noises I thought I'd been imagining
had been caused by this creature. Again, I nearly left the shed.
Though I adore animals, mice are not at the top of my list of favorites.
A hundred thoughts ran through my mind. Was this someone's familiar?
Was it my familiar? Was it a sign of wrong-doing? Or of right-doing?
Was I completely crazy to be entertaining such thoughts?
I slowly moved toward her and toward the table
where I have done my tarot readings for years. I assumed she'd skitter
away as I approached. She did not. I sat and began to wash
(shuffle) the cards, excruciatingly aware of her presence only a few feet
away and above my head. I conducted a reading (another
story entirely . . .) under her watchful gaze. Finally,
my nerve broke and I began to gather a few items so I could leave the shed
and think. I looked up in time to watch her tail disappear as she
slipped behind some exposed insulation.
The following day, my friend Wynn came to
my house. I coaxed her out to the shed and lit a fire so we could
settle in and talk. As soon as I began to tell her about my visitor,
the mouse began to rustle around. We never saw her that day.
Her little noises were perceptable only when we fell quiet. Wynn
helped me find a version of the table of correspondence you came to this
story from. My belief is that the mouse was a sign of rebirth for
me.
Since that chilly afteroon, I've never noticed
any sign of the mouse. Much has happened since that first ritual.
I feel as though I've found my way home. The journey to this place,
however, was often unnerving and confusing. My witchcraft is now
thouroughly integrated into my life. I don't need a locked shed anymore.
In fact, I gave the shed to my daughter for her private use. She's
never had any mice. Instead, she 'battles' a squirrel for posession
of the space.
Return to Commonly Encoutered Species Table
|
THE
SYMBOLISM OF ANIMALS
