Men & Women of the
I am going to live through
this even if it kills me. -- Klinger
Klinger, as a girl stares at
his dress: This is what happens to you when you don't eat your vegetables.
Klinger: I am Zoltan, King of the Gypsies!
Klinger: In the words of my people, may your life be an oasis surrounded by
waving palms, warm breezes, and spit-free camels.
Radar: Hi Klinger, how's it going?
Klinger: I'm eating a jeep.
Are you eating breakfast cereal or is that just a bad telephone line? -- Klinger
May the mother of your camels
spit in your yogurt! -- Klinger
Klinger: Colonel, I missed
Klinger: About my heart murmer, Sir.
Klinger: My double vision is coming back.
Klinger: I've fallen in love with a goat!
Klinger: Glad to have you back, Sir
Klinger: First he's going,
then he's staying! Why's he staying? Because I'm an idiot! Why don't we make
everybody happy, let the hero stay, make the idiot go home!
Klinger, taking a test: "Mary's mother sent her to the store to get nine
large cans of beans. Mary could only carry two cans at a time. How many trips to
the store did Mary have to make?" ... What kind of a family would
only feed the children beans?
Margaret: How could I ever thank you?
Klinger: You could let me try that nail polish!
Klinger: I don't believe I'm saying this... I'm staying in Korea!
Boy seeing the way you guys work with the wounded, the way you deal with burned
up legs, ripped up bellies. Makes me proud every time I throw up. --
Colonel Potter, Sir! Corporal Klinger. I'm section 8, head to toe. I'm wearing a
warner bra. I play with dolls. My last wish is to be buried in my mother's
wedding gown. I'm nuts. I should be out. -- Klinger
Klinger: Halt! Who goes there?
General: The man's naked!
Hawkeye: Aw c'mon Klinger, put on a dress or something!
Trapper: At least a slip!
Klinger: But I'm stuck with a dozen dresses!
Klinger: These low heels are
Trapper: Klinger, how can you wear just a skirt on a cold day like this?
Klinger: You think it's easy being a nut?
Klinger: Colonel, if you can hear me, knock three times! If you can't, knock
twice! (Two knocks are heard) Oh Lord, he's dead!
Father: Klinger, I thought you were an atheist.
Klinger: Gave it up for Lent.
Officer: Klinger, I'm here to relieve you.
Klinger: Good. Undo my bra.
Klinger singing: Oh, some guys like the army,
I think that it's a mess.
If it's so damned terrific,
How come I wear a dress?
Klinger: If anything happens, bury me in the blue chiffon!
B. J.: Some guys'd shoot themselves in the foot to get sent home.
Klinger: Not me! I'd ruin a perfectly good pair of nylons!