Men & Women of the
Radar: These are the forms to
get the forms to order more forms, sir.
Here's a mover and a groover and it ain't by Herbert Hoover. It's for all you
animals and music lovers. -- Radar as a camp DJ
Radar, seeing Klinger in
pants: Don't I know your sister?
Dear Mrs. Burns, I regret to inform that your husband has been seen out of
uniform, and maybe you would like to know with who. -- Radar reading the letter
Hawkeye wanted to sent to Frank's wife.
Testing, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 testing. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I got a gal in
Kalamazoo... -- Radar over PA
Radar on Henry: I'm afraid he's doing some very important
sleeping for the army right now.
Why don't you sirs act like sirs, sir? -- Radar
Are you going to be a mother,
sir? -- Radar to Margaret
If I don't eat regularly,
everything solid in my body turns to liquid. -- Radar
Oh, I am fine. Well, not really, I am closer to lousy than fine. -- Radar
Get away from me before I get
physically emotional! -- Radar
What? He changed to psychiatry? That's crazy! -- Radar
Poetry, right? That's great
how they can rhyme and be hot at the same time. -- Radar
It's Mrs. Colonel, your wife, sir. -- Radar
I've never seen you in your underneath before. -- Radar
If you want a drink, sir, --
compliments Henry Blake -- brandy, scotch, vodka. And for your convenience, all
in the same bottle. -- Radar
Radar (in a letter): As usual,
I'm writing slowly because I know you can't read fast.
Well, I guess that's a bear we all gotta cross. -- Radar
Testing, tes...1,2,3. Testing,
1, 2. Radar here, uh..there's nobody on the radio now except 'Seoul City' Sue so
I figured I'd keep you entertained by reading you a letter from my mom. Here it
goes. Dear Son, I got your lovely letter. You certainly asked a lot of
questions. About the car, you may. About Jennifer next door, yes. About Eleanor
Simon, she did once or twice but not too much. About your uncle Albert, uh no on
drinking, yes on AA. About the dog Leon, three times in the bedroom, once under
the washer, and twice on the cat. Testing, testing. About the cat, we don't have
one anymore. About your cousin Ernie, he's in the...(explosion) Oh! Oh! Here we
go again! Watch out! -- Radar over PA
She kicked me and then she messed all my files from M to Zee and everything...
And then she got mad. -- Radar
Radar taking a test by correspondence:
Henry: Now, I'm going to give you two famous dates from history.
Radar, writing: Okay, hold it. 1492. Yeah.
Henry: Now, what do these--
Radar: I know! Three thousand sixty-eight!
Radar, yelling into the phone: Listen, buddy, we're a hospital! How would you
like it if we fired patients at you??
Radar yelling into the phone: I can't hear you! Boy, you've got the war
on loud there!
Radar: My father didn't have me til he was sixty-three. First time we played
peek-a-boo he had a stroke.
Radar: Fifteen years, Sir?
Potter: Well, that's what you can get for this!
Radar: I'll be in my thirties! That's almost dead!
Radar, drunk and pointing his teddy bear at Frank: My bear went off!
Radar: I've looked everywhere
except the nurses's showers. Oh no, sir, I couldn't look in there -
there might be naked female personnel showering with their clothes off!
Hawkeye: Radar, you look pensive.
Radar: No, I'm just thinking.
Radar: I don't think that this place is turning out to be that great an
experience for me. I mean, I work under terrible pressure, and there's lots of
death and destruction and stuff, but other than that I don't think I'm getting
much out of it.
B. J.: What do you want to be?
Radar: A hot lover. Or even a cold one. I don't care.
B. J.: What makes you think the army could help you with that?
Radar: When my Uncle Ed came home from World War I, his mother could tell from
the look in his eyes that he hadn't been a good boy in France. She cried for
three days. I just know when I get home, my mother's going to look at
me and chuckle for a week.
Radar: I'm the only one who's gonna leave this place younger than I was when I
Radar: You mean actually go to Seoul and You Know?
Hawkeye: A little You Know never hurt anybody. Some of our greatest presidents
did You Know.
Radar: Where were you originally born? I mean, as a child.
Klinger: Sorry about the mess.
Radar: I cleaned it for two hours! There was another mess under it!