Rock-paper-scissors for who has to tell the whore to leave - CHANDLER, TOW THE STRIPPER

P as in Phoebe, H as in Hoebe, O as in Oebe, E as in Ebe, B as in Bebe, and E as in ‘ello there, mate! - PHOEBE, TOW JOEY'S INTERVIEW

I'm not gonna let that man make you eat your baby - PHOEBE, TOW THE STRIPPER

I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife - GUNTHER, TOW THE RACECAR BED

I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, haven’t been able to stand up since. But um, I don’t think it’s anything serious - JOEY, TOW JOEY LOSES HIS INSURANCE

The world is my lesbian wedding - CHANDLER, TOW THE LESBIAN WEDDING

Lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks - CHANDLER, TOW THE LESBIAN WEDDING

I had to, I’d pee on anyone of you! - JOEY, TOW THE JELLYFISH

If only there were something in your head to control the things you say - CHANDLER, TOW JOEY'S INTERVIEW

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian - CHANDLER, THE PILOT

Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare - MONICA, TOW THE FAKE MONICA

All you vant is a dingle! What you envy is a schwang! A thing through which you can tinkle, to play with, or simply, let hang! - JOEY, SINGING IN TOW THE BUTT

They don't *know* that we know they know we know - PHOEBE, TOW THEY ALL FIND OUT

Urkel in Spanish is Urkel - RACHEL, TOW TWO PARTS, PART 1

I woke the beast - PHOEBE, TOW RACHEL'S INADVERTANT KISS

She lives in, like, some hot-girl parallel-universe or something - JOEY, TOW RACHEL'S INADVERTANT KISS

I'm also thankful for thongs - JOEY, TOW THE THANKSGIVING FLASHBACKS

The exclamation point in the title scares me - PHOEBE, TOW THE BUTT

Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! - JOEY, TOW ROSS DATES A STUDENT

Back then y’know, we called it the Great War. (pause) It really was - PHOEBE, TOW CHANDLER AND MONICA'S WEDDING

Why, God, why? We had a deal - let the others get old, not me! - JOEY, TOW THEY ALL TURN 30

My name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk - PHOEBE, TOW THE BABY ON THE BUS

I tell people secrets. It makes them like me - CHANDLER, TOW JOEY'S NEW GIRLFRIEND

I could tell how much I've been thinking about her; that I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment we met; that I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day, I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first! - CHANDLER, TOW JOEY'S NEW GIRLFRIEND

I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand, and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow, it's been a long time since I had... 327 plus 238 dollars!" - JOEY, TOW THE GIRL FROM POUGHKEEPSIE

"Yemen," that actually sounds like a real country! - JOEY, TOW ALL THE RUGBY

Is there a mute button on this woman?! - CHANDLER, REGARDING PHOEBE IN TOW RACHEL FINDS OUT

How *you* doin'? - JOEY, MANY EPISODES

I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good - PHOEBE, PILOT

Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it! - MONICA, PILOT

And now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring - RACHEL, TOW THE SONOGRAM AT THE END

You don't get a lot of "doy" these days - CHANDLER, TOW THE SONOGRAM AT THE END

There was a crooked man, who had a crooked smile, who lived in a shoe... for a while - PHOEBE, TOW THE THUMB

Look, look, I have elbows! - PHOEBE, TOW GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS

I've got magic beans - RACHEL, TOW GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS

You just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam - a bra right out the sleeve - ROSS, TOW THE EAST GERMAN LAUNDRY DETERGENT

Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me - JOEY, TOW THE EAST GERMAN LAUNDRY DETERGENT

Uberweiss! It's new, it's German, it's extra-tough - ROSS, TOW THE EAST GERMAN LAUNDRY DETERGENT

She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men! - CHANDLER, TOW THE BUTT

New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy... - PHOEBE, TOW THE BLACKOUT

You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection - CHANDLER, TOW THE BLACKOUT

So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome - ROSS, TOW NANA DIES TWICE

You have homosexual hair - PHOEBE, TOW NANA DIES TWICE

I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun - JACK GELLER, TOW NANA DIES TWICE

I'd very much like to butter your head - CHANDLER, TOW UNDERDOG GETS AWAY

My entire family thinks I have VD - JOEY, TOW UNDERDOG GETS AWAY

This tastes like *feet*! - ROSS, TOW ROSS GOT HIGH

I’m so glad that you guys got drunk and had sex! - MONICA, TOW RACHEL HAS A BABY, PART 2

I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing! - JOEY, TOW THEY ALL FIND OUT

Oh - my - Gawd - JANICE, MANY EPISODES

I could squeeze your little head! - PHOEBE TO BABY EMMA, TOW RACHEL HAS A BABY, PART 2