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These notes may only be read after scrutiny of Law Voodoo article  

In-depth Notes on Stopping Unlicensed Practice of Law
Before It Wipes Out Guild System and Divine Rights of Kings

by Dr. Fannie Foolscap
From the watermark of a fool's cap 
with bells (in his belfry) originally used for legal paper.

[ii] Shakespeare, King Richard II. Act ii. Sc. 1. 

[iii] A New Jersey Bar President Thomas Curtin was quoted in the July 3, 1995, Lawyers Weekly, "I have no difficulty saying my position is protecting the interests of lawyers. Why is the American Bar Association, an organization that is supposed to work for lawyers, trying to find work for nonlawyers? That is not the business of the ABA. This is the American Bar Association, not the American Paralegal Association."
Right on, Curtin! Why are you the only straightforward sob among the sanctimonious bar willing to openly admit that the organized bar is not a non-profit, public service organization? 
Surprisingly, the ABA bureaucracy in Chicago and its commission on non-lawyer practice agrees that the organized bar is the chief cause of unaffordable legal fees. It urged the membership to consider some window dressing. The state bars ignored these recommendation that were nothing more than throwing the public a few bones. 
Arizona is the only state that has no UPL law. Also see Ralph Nader's Website.

[iv] When business and the stock market slump Greenspan and the Fed turn on the printing presses to add to the money supply and get people to spend before their money is worth less. If people who can't afford lawyers or life-saving drugs get a nice little color laser copier and turn out fives and tens they'd be jailed as counterfeiters. Why do these good souls who also add to the money supply get treated tougher than Alan Greenspan? Assuming these nice little people have the skill to produce authentic-looking bills, isn't their money as stimulating to the economy as his is? 

[v] "... ours is a sick profession marked by incompetence, lack of training, misconduct and bad manners. Ineptness, bungling, malpractice, and bad ethics can be observed in court houses all over this country every day ... these incompetents have a seeming unawareness of the fundamental ethics of the profession. ... the harsh truth is that ... we may well be on our way to a society, overrun by hordes of lawyers, hungry as locusts, and brigades of judges in numbers never before contemplated." -- Chief Justice of the United States Warren Burger quoted in Time, 27 June 1977

[vi] Sadly this inexcusable prejudice carries over even to our open-minded age where we are supposed to feel for each other, usually in the dark. What's wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes. "A man was on vacation when he ran into an old acquaintance. '"Hello, Joe,"' he said. '"I haven't seen you in years. What are you doing these days?"' '"I'm practicing law,"' whispered Joe. '"But don't tell my mother. She thinks I'm still a pimp." 

[vii] "Most U.S. courtrooms separate the public seating area from the area in which parties to lawsuits and their lawyers sit by use of a railing. The railing is in legal and judicial circles commonly referred to as the "bar" of the court. Tradition has it (reinforced by court rules today) that only properly licensed lawyers can pass from the public seating area to the area reserved for the parties and their legal representatives.”
This dull, pretentious sermon is taken from Crossing the Bar, a legal site maintained by lawyers. It reveals all anyone could bear about the pomposity of lawyers and then some. Let them know you are working to revive the colonial practice of eating lawyers that get separated from the flock in a blizzard.
This apartheid of the clean from the unclean reminds me, does anyone know whether the Ayatollah Khomeini practiced law in the United States and was he a member of the American Bar Association? 

[viii] Capital punishment: sentencing Albany, one of the hovels of the nation, to 30 lashes and a thorough bath. And Albany got off lucky this time. Next time the city with all its inhabitants should be burnt down as a contribution to the survival of civilization.

[x] “Last week I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.” “Here lies W.C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.” Surprise! attrib. W.C. Fields 

[xi] Marshall died in 1835, the day he resigned from the court. Apparently his parents never advised him to get a life. They actually wanted him to be a lawyer! Today that would be as if parents wanted their daughter to be a streetwalker.
President Adams asked him to become an Associate Justice. But he was holding out for top banana. In 1801, Adams appointed him Chief Justice. Some historians claim Marshall was one of Adams midnight appointments, about as popular as Clinton's midnight pardons. Marshall was the earliest pitchman for the sophistry that the Constitution is so vague that it means whatever judges want it to mean. Like a word, if it means too much, it means nothing. Being the third leg of the federal tripod, it isn’t surprising that his Supreme Court whittled away state sovereignty and private rights. 
Marshall was either incredibly persuasive or the other judges liked to sleep rather than write opinions. Marbury v. Madison (1803) , McCulloch v. Maryland (1819), Dartmouth College v. Woodward (1819), Gibbons v. Ogden (1824), Cherokee Nation v. State of Georgia (1831)., which every law student reads. See Cornell Law School List of Historical Decisions. 

Note on finding historical decisions. When you reach this page write in the name of any of these cases, next to it activate the drop down and pick "historical decisions".

Marshall made up "Judicial Review" out of thin air. So said Jefferson and Madison in " Virginia and Kentucky Resolutions." Madison almost wrote the Constitution single handedly. He's known as the Father of the Constitution. Marshall wasn't even there. If Marshall hadn't died then he would have established a legal empire larger than Alexander the Great's. 

[xii] "Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of judges." Adapted from "Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union," supposedly uttered by Dzhugashvili, J.(1870-1950) otherwise known as Stalin during one of his extended bouts of heavy night drinking and days of hangovers and Red whining. 

[xiii] War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. The Sayings of Big Sister adapted from Orwell, G. (1903-1950), The Teachings of Big Brother, 1984 (1945). 

These are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others, Marx, G.
Under our system freedom of speech is guaranteed, but not freedom after the speech. Anon, Al 

[xiv] A person of moderate to severe mental retardation having a mental age of from three to seven years illustrated by Congress, being capable of some degree of communication and performance of simple tasks under supervision, like Florida lawyers said of Rosemary Foreman. See above, below and all around town. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive. Or so says Bill Gates, who originated offensiveness, so he ought to know.

[xv] 
9 Sullivan v. Louisiana, 508 U.S. 275, 277 (1993). See also United States v. Martin Linen Supply Co., Even where there are no material (or even immaterial) facts in dispute, the decision to convict belongs solely to the jury, not to the court. The court may not so much as inquire whether the jury acquitted the defendant due to doubts about an essential element or fact, or their doubt about the justness of the law. So long as the defendant cannot be subjected to double jeopardy, it will remain so. 

[xvi] Castor oil (noun). Colorless or pale yellowish oil extracted from the seeds of the castor-oil plant, used pharmaceutically as a laxative and rectal softener and industrially as a lubricant. Lawyers could benefit from its use.

[xvii] Traditional law schools suffocate idealism, [Ralph] Nader charges. They encourage students to adopt sterile if lucrative specialties of law that are trivial or downright anti-social. Nader sponsored a book, The High Citadel: The Influence of Harvard Law School, by Joel Seligman (1978), a pungent historical review of the nation's most odoriferous law school -- "a stagnating phenomenon still clothed with ermine." Nader's Page, offers an entire book representing every aspect of  the history against the monopolistic legal profession can be read or downloaded. The page's motto is "all professions are conspiracies against the laity," George Bernard Shaw

[xviii] A statute setting a time limit for bringing all types of cases.

[xix] Many do expire but New York lawyers are also noted for their ability to explain away disasters, especially procrastination. An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer." Sometimes they overdo it. As a result they destroy their clients claim altogether.
I almost lost the right to appeal my divorce and custody because my lawyer forgot to file within 30 days a Notice of Appeal, the simplest of all motions. This nationally renowned lawyer, Sidney Siller, told me that the legislature had amended the rule, allowing ten days extra. I asked his ill-treated secretary what was going on. She said, "Don't listen to him; I filed the papers on time. I don’t wait for him to tell me. If I did he would be out of business." BTW, he had time to be the legal columnist for Penthouse Magazine. His column vanished and so did he.

[xx] In the Case for a Free Market in Legal Services, George C. Leef, Northwood University law professor, cites the case of Florida's Rosemary Furman as does Morrison above. She had been a legal secretary working for an attorney who then charged clients a outrageous fee for doing next to nothing. She opened her own business, charging only $50 for divorce filings. For providing this service, the bar hounded her until she was convicted, and sentenced to 120 days in jail .
Leef notes that the market, reinforced by remedies for fraud, breach of contract and negligence, establishes powerful incentives for competence, fair dealing and efficiency. Moreover, voluntary certification programs could help consumers identify attorneys (if that’s what they want). At the same time, he observes, "certification does not restrict contracting options or deprive people of occupational freedom." See Cato Institute position paper. To boil down this verbiage with a Vermonter’s directness that makes it harder for lawyers to grasp, “I hold it to be the inalienable right of anyone", grumbled poet Robert Frost, "to go to hell in his own way.”

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