As Fate Would Have It
Part 2 of 'What's Going On?'
By: Carmen Wayne
Barbara Gordon sat on the bed of Oracle's room and looked around as Oracle messed with some black and gold cloth. There had been an unsteady silence between them the entire time since Oracle started fixing up an old Batgirl suit of hers to fit Barbara. Barbara wanted to say something, but she wasn't too sure if she should. She looked around everywhere but in Oracle's direction, afraid she might stare at the wheel chair.
"You want to ask, don't you?" Oracle asked suddenly.
Barbara's greens shot to her. She kept focused on the material before her.
"I…" Barbara stuttered.
"Go ahead. Ask," Oracle said, almost challengingly.
"Wuh-what happened to you?" Barbara choked out.
Oracle smirked at Barbara's tone. She realized Barbara didn't have a clue and was scared at what might be said, but continued very passively:
"The Joker shot me in the stomach and blew out my spinal cord. I wasn't even Batgirl when it happened. I had retired."
"Oh…" Barbara said thoughtfully. She paled a bit, putting a hand to her neck to keep from totally crying out. "Orac-Barbara…? I-I've been debating retirement…"
Oracle's eyes shot from the suit to Barbara. Then she went over so quickly and slammed the metal plates into Barbara's shins. Barbara clasped a hand to her mouth to hold in the yelp of pain. She stared at this apparition of a future self she would never see with the same respect she would pay an elder.
"You listen to me. Don't you retire. Don't you DARE retire, Barbara. It's not worth it. Besides, you have no reason to. From what I understand… Your world is perfect…"
"'Perfect'? I'd hardly call it perfect. Hiding my secrets from my father… Almost getting killed every night… This isn't a happy path."
"…You ever botch a mission?"
"When I first got started, ALL the time! See, it was never my intention to become Batgirl. It happened by accident!"
Oracle went back to work as she grinned.
"Tell me about it?" she asked.
"Tell me about your becoming Batgirl first."
"Well… I had always dreamed of being a crime fighter… I had trained to be the best athlete my body would let me. One Halloween I dressed up as Batgirl, but I didn't tell anyone so when everyone unmasked it would be a shocker. On my way to the party, some gang members were attacking Bruce Wayne, so I ran and helped him. Some reporters were there or something, because I was all over the news. From that point on, I didn't tell anyone. When I told my father finally, come to find out, he KNEW I was Batgirl. So did Batman. I'm nine years older, give or take, than Dick. And we always paired off until the Joker shot him and Bruce fired him…"
"Wow…" Barbara breathed.
"Yeah… Now, what's your story?"
"Well, my father had been arrested on faulty charges. They said he had accepted bribes from a crime leader named Rupert Thorne… Now, I had always been an athlete. Dick, who is a year older than me give or take, always liked to challenge what I could do. Since we met when I was eight and he was nine. Now that we have that out of the way… When Harvey Bullock and that… man… I dare not say his name… Called for a rally, I begged for Batman to appear to influence public opinion more. When he said no, I dressed up as Batman. Padding and all. I swung over the crowds and ran into an alley, and then a shoot out began right after I pulled out the padding. Robin was there and we tried to stop the men. As I was running away, he pulled off the back of my cowl as TV reporters were shooting us, and it tore off, revealing I was a girl… From then on, I was Batgirl."
Oracle nodded her head slightly.
"So… You and Dick were an item?"
"In college, yes. Oh, we were friends too, but we were in Puppy Love. But now that he knows I'm Batgirl, things have changed dramatically. When I threatened to retire at the last party we were at, his attitude towards me changed. He started getting nicer, wanting to patch things up, almost. I think he WANTS me to quit."
"Those Graysons are so damn confusing, eh? Here, try this on for size," Oracle said.
She handed Barbara the suit and backed off to let her change.
The Joker laughed hysterically at the stories the Jokeress told him. She sat, refilling her acid spurting rose as she talked. He was nearly on the floor, in tears.
"And I mean, you really haven't done hop scotch until you've used Batman's pancreas as the rock."
"Oooohoohoohoohoo! You're gooood!"
"I'm but a super villain, psychopathic serial killer clown that's simply sexy in her body suit."
"Yes, yes… And I am the number one psycho-sociopathic serial killer clown that's OH so stylish!" His cell phone began to ring in his jacket. "The phone! The phone! Is it the phone? I'm not here; I'm out to lunch… Hello?!" he asked roughly into the phone.
"There's no sign of them yet, boss!" a man said.
"You called me for that. You called me in the middle of an important MEETING to tell me THAT?!"
"Clones are nice. We like clones," the Jokeress said, winking.
"Heh… Excuse me while I go kill someone."
"Kay!"
The Joker stomped out. The Jokeress pulled a lighter and began to run her hand through the flame slowly. She didn't even flinch as a scream pierced the halls that could curdle blood. The Joker stomped back in holding a dagger and tongue.
"Tongue?" he offered.
"Naw, I'll pass. No, you see, Mister J… The secret to finishing off the Batman is weakening him and then luring him in to you. I've finished him off brutally just by doing that."
"Miss J, I don't think you understand… The fun isn't in that for me. I'm sure it was GREAT how you did it, but now I have to top that."
"Oh, of course!"
"I have endless solutions to this problem… The real problem is figuring out which one I want to use. His death must be glorious! …For ME, that is. Haha! So, why do you like clones?"
"'cause I have one!"
"Oh? And who is that?"
"Barbara Gordon," she said, winking.
"The Commissioner's brat? You're HER?" He sat down on her lap and licked her eyeball. "FINALLY! The red head converts!" he exclaimed, hugging her.
"I don't think you understand, Joker," she said. "I used to be Barbara. But after I had this OH so unholy conversion to a killer clown, Batman cloned me into another-and good-Barbara. They were very close…" A wide smile grew on her face. "Hence why I've donated my life to torturing her and her husband Dick Grayson."
"But, if you killed the Batz, what's the point?"
"I thought like you at one time," she said. "Like, without the Batboy I was nothing. So, I tried to find higher game… I find that torturing two souls by killing ten people a day is great!"
"Oh? Oh? I must try that. Come with me, Boopsie!"
He grabbed her by the arm and yanked her out, nearly dislocating her arm.
The Batmobile skidded to a stop at the lowest part of the large road leading to Arkham. Robin slammed on the breaks just behind the Batmobile and opened it to let him and Batgirl out. Nightwing and Batman leapt out of the Batmobile.
"What's the plan?" Robin asked.
"I go in the head," Batgirl responded.
"I don't think so," Batman said.
"Listen! They want me, don't they? I should go in first. They won't expect anything to happen after I actually show up! Now, here's the-er… Uh…" She looked at Batman's face. "Make that: Here's A plan…"
********************
Zatanna Zatara grabbed Klarion by the collar and shook him fiercely.
"You SEE?! You see what you've done?!" she cried.
They stood, invisible, in Arkham Asylum. All around them were dead people that the Clown Prince and Clown Princess had slaughtered for fun. Klarion shook from her grasp and Teekl leapt into his arms.
"They're only humans, Zanna! Chill out!" Klarion said. "Besides, the final battle is quickly approaching…"
"I need to figure out how to reverse this…" she mumbled to herself.
"You can't reverse it. The spell was cast by moi, and only I can reverse it. Common magic logic, Zatanna. Really! I'm shocked you didn't know that!"
"I DO know that, Klarion!" she exclaimed. "But you have to have someone who rules over you…"
"Nope," Klarion yawned out.
"Klarion, too many people have died… Many more could die if you don't stop this!"
"You don't seem to grasp the logic behind this, Zatanna."
"No, I don't. WHY are you DOING this?!"
"To impress you!"
"I'm impressed all ready! What's the deal with the Jokeress and Barbara Gordon from the other dimensions?"
"I'm glad you asked, my dear. You see, the Jokeress, known as the Joker in her home dimension, was once Barbara Gordon, and also Batgirl. One night when she was on a round, she encountered some thugs in a chemical plant. As she fought them, one knocked her into a vat of the chemicals below a catwalk she was on. It transformed her into the Joker… She went to Bruce Wayne for help to reverse the effects as she fought the evil growing within her."
"What… What did he do?"
"He said that it would prove fatal and that he would clone her in order to transfer her soul into the clone. She was successfully cloned, and as they began to transfer her soul, something went terribly wrong as Two-Face attacked, who is also a female in that dimension. The connection between the bodies was severed. What remained was Barbara Gordon, an entity of the original Barbara's nobility, courage and truthfulness. Then there was the Joker. All of the original Barbara Gordon's evil intentions, seductive nature and psychopathic abilities were trapped within. The Joker had every memory of the original, complete Barbara, whereas this new Barbara contained no memories of the heart, only of the mind."
"What do you mean?"
"She knew what two plus two was, but she had no idea she was Batgirl."
"Oh."
"Angry that the shifting wasn't a success and in want of a body that would allow her to conform to society, the Joker went on a rampage. She murdered Two-Face with a simple bullet to the head. Nightwing, the former colleague to the Batman, also named Jason Todd, was next. She took a reaper and cut him into the tiniest of pieces she could, other than his head, and sent it all to Bruce Wayne. Angered at this, Bruce left his new Robin, 18-year-old Dick Grayson, to defend Gotham with the newly induced Batgirl. He tracked the Joker for weeks until he was so exhausted, she got the drop on HIM. She captured him and video taped his brutal torture and finally when she started to gut him. Afterwards, she delivered the tape to the Gotham City Police Commissioner, Jane Gordon, and displayed Batman's body for all to see in Gazette Square. Hurriedly, Gordon, the transformed Robin-to-Nightwing and Batgirl got his body down before people would discover his body. After seeing the sorrow she put the three through, the Joker decided to dedicate her life to torturing those three souls--until the Scarecrow killed Gordon. Angered, the Joker killed the Scarecrow and decided that Dick and Barbara were good enough. From that moment on she's separated herself from being in any relation to Barbara Gordon and is dedicated to torturing the two in any way possible. When Timothy Drake became Robin, she found that he would be the perfect one to use to torture them."
"…That's why you want these two to battle. Two worlds, no knowledge of each others pasts, and yet so much the same… You want to match them up so equally that they'll kill each other before there's a winner."
"Silly girl… Their skills are completely opposite from each other. That's the fun of it! Oh! And the fun's about to begin!"
********************
Batgirl entered Arkham's main hall, hands outstretched. People working for the clowns eyed her warily as she walked down the hall.
"I'm here! Your walking, talking, good-doing, red haired Batgirl!" she called. "Show yourselves per the deal!"
"Helloooooo, Batchickadee!" the Jokeress laughed, swinging from the shadows on a rope. She wore bat ears and glasses that made her eyes look like Batman's. "Sup?"
"Where's the Joker?" Batgirl demanded.
"Right here," the Joker grinned, walking out behind her. She whirled around to see him holding a revolver in one hand and flamethrower in the other. "Lets see if you can run!"
He shot at her, and she jumped to the side. She brought out her grappler and fired it at his head, knocking him to the ground. The Jokeress flipped to his side and grabbed the revolver. She fired, getting Batgirl across the arm.
"Agh!" Batgirl cried.
She gripped the scrape tightly. The Jokeress grinned darkly.
"It will be quite nice to finish you……" She stopped and spun around, seeing Batman, Nightwing and Robin behind her. "Well, well, well. Capes and spandex on parade!"
She fired into the air, signaling other prisoners to come from their hiding places. The Joker recovered and went after Batman. The Jokeress turned to Batgirl.
"You want a piece of me?" Batgirl asked. "Catch me first!"
She sprinted off. The Jokeress laughed hysterically.
"Time to DIE, Batchick! Or perhaps I should just shoot you in the spine!"
She did a cartwheel and then skipped after Batgirl quickly.
********************
Zatanna sat on the stone floor, still invisible to all but Klarion. Klarion walked over and sat in front of her. She was staring at the floor sadly.
"What's wrong, Zanna?" he asked.
"People are suffering more and more and I can't do a thing about it…" she whispered.
Klarion saw a tear stream down her cheek and frowned.
"These common mortals mean a lot to you, huh?"
"There's nothing common about them, Klarion. And yes, they do."
Klarion saw Batgirl run past, followed by the Jokeress and sighed. He looked to Zatanna and wiped another tear off her cheek.
"Okay, Zanna. Tell you what… There IS another way that you can change all this without me. I'm not going to reverse what I've done. You have to work for it. You need to find the one man that Batgirl cares for more than anything else in the universe. They must kiss at the witching hour, or else it's all up to fate and me. And the kiss must mean something."
"Y-you're serious?"
"Absolutely. But, if one of the two dies in this realm before the witching hour, I can't reverse the spell at all."
Zatanna stood slowly, her right hand lighting in a soft purple.
"How long do I have?"
"A good thirty minutes."
"God I hope this works…" she whispered.
She raised her glowing hand above her. The light swirled down, around her body and she vanished. Klarion sighed and ran to go see the battle between Batgirl and the Jokeress.
********************
Sitting in the study of Wayne Manor was Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne. Dick was hunched over, in tears. Bruce was stunned out of his mind. They had just received the call from the hospital that Timothy Drake had died from the bullet wound he received from the Joker. Alfred Pennyworth was out of the room to let them mourn on their own.
"Had we not chased him out… The Joker wouldn't have…" Dick whispered. "We weren't even there for him when he passed on…"
"There… There is no greater emptiness…" Bruce said blankly. "Than having to die alone…"
"I know, Bruce… I know… We need to catch him…"
"I might be able to help," they heard. They turned as Zatanna appeared in purple light. "But this complication is far more than just a little boy who died far too soon…"
"Zanna?" Bruce asked, standing. "Zanna, why are you--?"
"I am not your Zatanna, Mister Wayne. I come from another dimension in which your friend Barbara Gordon has been placed. Klarion the Witch Boy is at fault for a shift of personnel in dimensions. Your friend is being pitted against her exact equal opposite. I need to bring Mister Grayson with me to this dimension and have him kiss Miss Gordon before the strike of twelve."
The two looked to Dick. Dick just looked down to his hand where he held Tim's Robin mask. Tears streamed down his face as he thought of all the things he did and should have done with the young boy. Things had started moving so quickly, it was all a blur to him. At the small mention of how things could be changed, however, time seemed to slow into a painfully slow motion. He balled his hands into fists and put them to his eyes, shaking his head furiously.
"No… Can't… think… No…" he whispered.
"Please, Grayson," Zatanna begged. "You HAVE to! Don't you have FEELINGS for her?!"
As Fate Would Have It