Nuke 'Em 'Til They Glow!! Chapter Five

&&&[Begin Chapter 5.]

Serena peeked into the room nervously, looking around to see
what was in the room. The only one in was a person who was in a
chair which was turned away from the door. She came in slowly and
sat down.

"I'd like to have an argument," Serena said. The person in
the chair turned around.

"Don't give me that, you empty-minded spaghetti-brained
meatball-head!" Raye said angrily.

Serena's jaw dropped. "W-wait, I came to-"

"So here comes Serena, Ms. Leader of the Sailor Scouts that
can't even get up on time," Raye said, standing and leaning against
the table, glaring down spitefully at the other girl.

"WAIT! I just want to have an argument, Raye! Why do you have
to be so mean to me?" Serena whined. Raye blinked and visibly calmed,
sitting back down.

"Oh, I'm sorry. This is abuse," the raven-haired girl said,
indicating the sign on the door. A look of realization crossed
Serena's face.

"Okay, then can you tell me where I can get an argument?"
Serena asked.

"Down the hall, to the... left I think. You can't miss it."

Serena brightened and walked out.

She followed the hall but forgot to ask whether it was
Raye's left or her left. After thinking about it for a moment, she
finally decided on the right door.

As soon as she opened it...

*WHACK!*

Serena was hit on the head with a mallet. A girl in a blue
dress stepped out.

"OW!" Serena said, rubbing her head.

The girl shook her head disapprovingly. "No, no. It's more of
a 'WAAH!'" she said, once more lifting her heavy-looking mallet.

*WHAAM!!*

"AAH!" Serena said, clutching her head in pain.

"No, that's not it. It's 'WAAH!'" the other girl corrected.

*WHAAAAM!!!*

"WAAH!" Serena said, defensively covering her head.

"There! You've got it!" the mallet-wielding individual said
approvingly.

"Look, I just want to have an argument!" Serena exclaimed,
holding her hands in front of her defensively as she backed off.

"Oh, sorry, it's hitting on the head lessons in here,"
the girl said, indicating a multitude of girls inside malleting
various boys. Many names were shouted out before a chorus
of "NO BAKAAAA!"s were yelled as they swung their Heavy, Blunt
Objects(TM).

"So... where can I get an argument?"

"Arguments are across the hall," the girl replied and went
back in, closing the door. Serena shrugged and went to the
other door.

Opening it, she looked in, seeing a chair turned away
from the door. She warily stepped inside, closed the door,
then sat down.

The chair turned around to reveal a man with black hair,
blue eyes, wearing a green tuxedo.

"I'd like to have an argument," Serena said.

"No you wouldn't," the man replied nonchalantly.

"Yes, I would."

"No, I honestly don't think you would."

"Yes, I want to have an argument!" Serena argued forcefully.

"No you wouldn't."

This went on for quite a while...

"Look, I may not be the best student in the world, but I
know that an argument is more than me saying, 'Yes, I would,'
and you saying, 'No, you wouldn't,'" Serena said exasperatedly.

"No it isn't."

"Stop that!"

The man rang a bell on his desk.

"Time's up."

"Wait... No it isn't!" Serena said, glancing at her watch.

"Yes it is."

Serena let out a sigh of frustration. "Let's go ask someone
else, then!" she said, dragging the man out of the room.

Picking a random door, Serena knocked. The door opened
and...

*WHACK!* The man was hit on the head with a mallet.

"AAH!" he said, rubbing his head.

"Needs work," the girl commented to Serena.

*WHAM!*

"WAAH!" Serena said, defensively covering her head.

"Ooh! You could learn a few things from her!" The girl told
the man.

***

"JADEITE!!!!!" Beryl screamed. The general in question
appeared.

"Wh-wha-what is it, my queen?" Jadeite asked in terror. Queen
Beryl had finally learned to pronounce his name correctly. This
could not be a good thing. "I said that everything was going
according to plan... I will succeed this time."

Beryl glared at him. "You have consistently failed after
promising victory each time! What makes you think that you will
be able to defeat the Sailor Scouts now? Give me one reason that
I shouldn't put you into the eternal sleep right now!"

Jadeite took a deep breath. "Allow me one more opportunity
to redeem myself. Please, Queen Beryl, I will not fail again."

The evil queen rolled her eyes. "Very well... You may do
whatever it is you have planned... but this is your last chance,
Jedite," she said, her voice seething with frustration and annoyance.

The blonde general relaxed. If she mispronounced his name the
second time, then the situation couldn't be all that bad. As a matter
of fact, Jadeite appeared to be on the verge of singing... "I know,
Queen Beryl. That's why..." he began, music turning on in the
background.

"STOP THAT! THERE WILL BE NO SINGING!!" Beryl screamed. The
music died down. The members of the royal youma court breathed a
sigh of relief.

"Spoilsport," Jadeite muttered.

"What was that, JEDITE?!"

The general winced. Why? Why?! WHY?!?! He sighed, straightening
his uniform, and continued speaking. "For your viewing pleasure, I
have set up a crystal ball for you to see my victory. I have a direct
confrontation planned," he said confidently. "Also, should you wish
to contact me directly, I have a communicator for you."

Jadeite handed Beryl a rectangular device and vanished.

There was an uncomfortable silence, all present wondering if
Jadeite would actually succeed or not.

"Bets, anyone?" Beryl asked rhetorically.

"Fifty on Starlight Knight!" Zoicite said annoyingly, appearing
in a shower of flower petals.

"Ten on Sailor Moon!" Kunzite said enthusiastically, appearing
next to Zoicite.

"Seven hundred on Sailor Mercury!" Nephrite said with a smirk.

---

Atomic Starlight Knight rubbed his head. He REALLY needed to
find a better way to let out his frustrations. Setting up an
elaborate scenario just to get into an argument with one of
Terra's friends was a little extreme, even for him. But if Jadeite
could do set up something strange to do a menial task, so could he!

<Although, you have to admit, that the green tuxedo was
kinda funny,> A.S.K. thought.

<Yeah, she didn't even recognize you!>

<'Disguise Power, change me into something else.' What
kind of line is that?!>

Sometime before that incident with that doll-with-multiple-
heads-and-vomited-fire youma and that wacky palace with all those
electronic pandas, (deep mental breath) he had been able to analyze
the energy pattern of the Luna Pen.

<Yeah, quiet. I know I can't quite get that 'disguise power'
thing to look quite right.>

<Hey, don't knock it. I'm getting better at it. Really, I am.>

<Yeah, I suppose you're right. I mean, it's not like you
end up accidentally disguising yourself as a supermodel anymore...>

<Okay... What about the 'Wedding Dress' incident?>

<Really? You almost won the competition!>

<Well... I HATE losing.>

<YEAH, BABY!>

<Right. It wasn't supposed to do that!>

<You've got a memory that can recall that sort of thing!>

<No, *I'VE* got a memory that can do that.>

<I'm you.>

<No. You're you, I'm you... You're ME!>

*WHAM*WHAM*WHAAAAM!* "Shut up, Shut up! Everyone just SHUT UP!"
A.S.K. yelled, pounding on his head as hard as he could.

###

Ah, yes. The Luna Pen...

"Disguise Power, change me into.. a Cup of Tea!" Princess
Terra said. The energy flickered, attempted something, then
promptly faded, leaving Terra exactly as she was before.

A tea kettle appeared out of nowhere and dropped to the
floor. Its lid opened and Arby poked his head out.

"I'll not stand for this!" Arby said defiantly, dripping hot
water.

"Oh, sorry, Arby!" Terra said in an embarrassed tone.

"I am not a cup of tea!" Arby said indignantly.

Terra thought about it. "You could be..."

Arby ducked back inside. "Alroight, but I won't loike it," he
murmured from inside the kettle.

"So, is that how it's supposed to work?" Terra asked Princess
Serenity, turning away from the teapot on the floor.

"No, that is not quite how you use it," Princess Serenity
replied. "You need to say a proper phrase."

"Well, then, Serena, what should I say?" Princess Terra
asked. All these nicknames. Princess Serenity absolutely refused
to call her 'Princess Terrifying,' so Terra merely took to
calling her 'Serena.' And, well, it stuck.

Serena took back the Luna Pen.

"Like this: Disguise Power, change me into a Beautiful
Ballroom Dancer!" Serena said and the Luna Pen did its work,
modifying her outfit to a formal ball gown.

Terra inwardly cringed, but managed to stay in character.
"Interesting... I just can't think of anything to say when I
activate it," she said nicely.

In reality, she just couldn't bring herself to say any key
words that might trigger the Luna Pen. She couldn't handle
'totally cool,' 'glamorous,' 'beautiful,' or any other adjectives
that reminded her of exactly what kind of society she was
presently in.

As a princess, now approaching the later teen years, she
was expected to attend all royal social functions, such as dances,
balls, public addresses, and so on. She had expressed a
'dissatisfaction' with going to these things, at least as much as
her chosen outward personality could allow, but she still ended
up having to go.

It was, in actuality, a monumental feat of thought and
action control. Here she was, nine BILLION years old, having
to act in certain ways, actually obey someone *else*, and
conform to the population.

It had all been a very novel experience, especially being
talked down to, as if she were some sort of inferior. Extremely
fascinating. There were so many new experiences that she had
gone through since her career as a Big, Scary Monster(TM) had
come to an abrupt halt.

"Princess Terra, your presence is required in the throne
room at once," a messenger said, entering.

It had gotten old very fast.

"Very well, I will arrive soon," Terra said aloud, then
under her breath as she began to leave, "If I don't blow this
place up first."

"Princess?" the messenger asked. Terra stopped and
assumed an innocent expression.

"What? Me? I don't know anything. I'm just a little mindless
girl that's going to BLAST EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!!!!" Terra desperately
wanted to scream, but merely said, "Nothing. I didn't say anything."

Life has its little disappointments.

It also has its challenges.

One of the more challenging challenges awaited her when
she arrived in the throne room. Queen Serenity was present,
as was an unfamiliar woman dressed as a Sailor Senshi. This
particular one had green hair and her uniform had a black
skirt, black boots, and... a dark red bow on the front.

"What did you call me for, Mother?" Terra asked sweetly.

Serenity turned to face her, a grave expression on her face.
"It is a matter of the utmost importance," she said. The Queen
indicated the woman standing near her. "This is Sailor Pluto, the
guardian of the Gate of Time."

Terra gasped, glancing nervously at the Senshi. She had
heard about her... Never really met her, but there had been some...
unpleasantness between her and the mentally projected Atomic
Starlight Knight. Some pretty volatile situations had happened.

Unfortunately, Terra hadn't ever bothered to download a
majority of the details from him...

"Hello, Sailor Pluto!" the adopted princess said, trying to
sound friendly. "What's this about?"

"It concerns you," Sailor Pluto said in a manner befitting
one who had seen time from the outside.

"What about me?" Terra asked, feeling nervous at the type
of power Sailor Pluto radiated. It was something that could best
be described as... attempting to see through her, trying to tell
who she was, what she had done in the past... what she would do
in the future...

"She needs to find out more about you. As long as you've
been with us, we still do not know very much about you," Queen
Serenity said.

Terra involuntarily took a step back. "I... told you all I
remember," she replied uneasily.

"Still, we do not know if any of your memories have been
altered," Sailor Pluto said. "We must find out for certain. Also,
we need to discover any possible connections to a being named
'Metallia.'" The energy Sailor Pluto radiated seemed to be
beginning a search of some kind.

Terra was inwardly screaming at herself to get out of
here. If all that was being said and done was any sign, they
would be doing a temporal scan; a sort of personal record
of all that someone had done. It was supposedly an infallible
way of determining truth, by looking at a person's entire
existence. If she stole a cookie from a cookie jar when she
was two, it could tell.

By local standards, she had done a great deal more than
steal from a cookie jar. Terra started to analyze the energy,
simultaneously looking into the information she kept stored in
Starlight in some hopes of finding an energy pattern capable
of blocking Sailor Pluto's temporal scan...

"It is completely painless, I can assure you," Queen
Serenity said reassuringly.

The redhead backed off a little more as she tried to recall
exactly how many civilizations she had destroyed.

"We really need to do this. There is a great evil coming,
and we must know if there is *anything* you may have experienced
that could help us," Sailor Pluto added.

Oh, of course there were things somewhere in Terra's past
that could be of use. *Many* things. She hadn't had anything to do
with any being known as 'Metallia,' as far as she knew, but she had
many experiences destroying evil.

Unfortunately, the methods she used destroyed the good just
as readily, and that would be... somewhat less than acceptable in
this society. As a matter of fact, if they saw even a glimmer of her
real past, they'd probably call in the guards, the Senshi, ANYONE
who could destroy something of her caliber.

<They'd probably succeed, too,> the former galactic destroyer
thought grimly. As much as she murmured about blowing the place up,
the past few battles had terminally sapped her resources, severing
her connection to her main energy source and leaving her with only
a very small fraction of her original powers.

She was in absolutely no condition to go head-to-head with
anything on the scale of a Senshi right now.

Sailor Pluto stared at her intently. Terra felt the energy
going in for a detailed search. She desperately did what she could
to block or divert the scan, based upon what she could discover about
it.

Sailor Pluto had, for a moment, a shocked expression. She
quickly recovered.

"So when do we begin?" Terra asked nicely.

The green-haired Senshi smiled. "We are already finished."

Terra breathed a sigh of relief. If Pluto wasn't leaping at
her, screaming, "DIE, EVIL SPAWN OF DARKNESS!!!" or some similar
statement, that meant that her past was, for now, safely hidden.

Since that point, Terra had to periodically block scans such
as those. It became a reflex after a while.

Sailor Pluto had apparently only gotten a fragment of a
particle of her real existence. The rest she got was a fabricated
history telling how Terra had been kidnaped from her home world.
What made the story interesting were the real parts that got
through. After her kidnaping, the story said, her world was
destroyed by a monster very similar to what she had been turned
into. Now, her only remaining friend from home was someone who
called himself 'Tim, whose only way of coping with the tragedy was
to vent through fighting.

It was all very heart wrenching, very tragic, and very, very
convincing. She also hoped that it didn't also sound very, very
contrived...

"Such a poor little girl," the guardian of the Gate of Time
whispered pityingly.

By some phenomenal miracle, somehow, for some unfathomable
reason, Pluto swallowed it.

"She has a tragic past, Queen Serenity. She knows nothing
of Metallia, or Queen Beryl's part in this situation."

Hook, line, and sinker.

"Farewell," Pluto said. She bowed to her Queen, then turned
to Princess Terrifying and smiled mysteriously before vanishing.

Then again, you never know...

###

<Alright! Who ordered that flashback?!> Atomic Starlight
Knight asked himself.

<Oh, well, isn't that just lovely...>

<Oh, quiet. And while you're at it, jus-> the green-armored
knight began to think to himself before being cut off by Jadeite's
head and shoulders suddenly appearing over the city.

"Sailor Scouts, I challenge you to a final battle," Jadeite
began, his voice booming across the city.

<Well, looks like Jadeite's at it again,> A.S.K. thought
with a sigh.

"Meet me at the airport after dark, or this will happen,"
Jadeite continued dramatically.

The city suddenly burst into flames.

<Umm... Can he do that?> A.S.K. asked himself nervously.

"This was just an illusion, but it will become reality if
you do not come," Jadeite finished as he vanished, along with
the flames.

<I suppose we'll have to blast him again,> the black-haired
semi-energy being rationalized with an evil grin.

<Yeah, and maybe we can blow something up on the way!>

<YEAH, BABY!>

A.S.K.'s thought pattern followed this line until he had
to tell his alternate personalities to, once again, be quiet.

*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM*

"SHUT UP!!!"

Then, to Atomic Starlight Knight's dismay, all of his
other personalities burst out into a chorus of "Disco Inferno."

---

"Alright, let's call this emergency meeting to order!"
Luna said, attempting to stop another violent argument between
Raye and Serena.

"You've been practicing, meatball head! Have you been arguing
with Darien again?" Raye asked tauntingly.

"Um, Scouts?" Luna asked hopefully.

"No, Raye! I signed up for a course. I had my first lesson
this morning," Serena said seriously.

Raye blinked. "An... argument course... Oooookay..." she said,
one eyebrow raised. "I thought that thing on earlier was just one
huge joke!"

Amy and Luna looked at each other nervously. The arguments
had never quite been this bad before...

Terra just smiled, holding up a tray of freshly baked
chocolate chip cookies.

"Well, what were you doing in the 'abuse' section, hmmm...?"
the blonde asked, absently picking up a cookie.

"Charity work," the raven-haired priestess replied, also
taking a cookie. "My sponsor donated forty dollars for every session
I did." [Yes. Dollars. NA continuity subdivision! ^_^]

"AHEM!"

Everyone turned toward Luna. "Can we begin now?" she asked.

Raye glanced at Serena. "Think we're done for now?"

Serena thought about it for a moment, then nodded, munching
on her cookie.

Luna breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Let's review. Jadeite
will be expecting you tonight at the airport. If you don't show up,
he may destroy the city!"

"We beat him at least a dozen times already," Serena mumbled
with her mouth full. She swallowed. "Why should this be any
different?"

"He has obviously prepared something. If he is that
confident, even after all his defeats... we may have to consider
the possibility that he was playing with us all along."

"For three months?!" Raye asked incredulously.

"Well, I said that it was a *possibility*."

"It's highly unlikely, given the nature of his defeats,"
Amy said after having carefully calculated a few factors on her
computer.

"But it could be, ya see," the ArbyFish said, popping up
behind Luna.

"Gah!" Luna shouted. Startled by Arby's sudden appearance, she
jumped up and clung to the ceiling. She looked down at her student.
"W-we'll find out tonight, Arby."

Raye looked at Arby. "You still haven't answered me on one
little subject... What ARE you?"

The green, seal-like creature fluttered up to her and looked
into her eyes seriously. "Neva' ask that quest'n."

---

<Those last few attacks of his had to be some kind of joke!>
Atomic Starlight Knight thought, looking through a newspaper,
having nothing else to do for the few remaining minutes until
Jadeite showed up.

A.S.K. finally ran into an article detailing an epidemic of
a strange disease that left its victims in a coma for a day, then
recovering without any other effects.

This caught his eye. He finally came to a realization...

<Hmm... Let me think about it........ YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's been preparing this for weeks!>

---

Jadeite stood over the unconscious forms of fourteen people.

"Can't be too careful..." he said, absorbing the energy
into himself. Jadeite was again on the verge of singing.

The music began and...

"Jedite, there will be NO SINGING!" Queen Beryl said through
the communicator. The music died down.

"Oh, all right," Jadeite said. He started to feel something
coming. "Assume ominescent stuck-up megalomaniac position and..."

"I am Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice I-"

"Yadda yadda yadda. Prepare to die," the blonde general said,
summoning a particularly nasty youma he had enhanced for this battle.

Slashing its claws wildly, the youma jumped into the midst
of the Sailor Scouts, who judiciously dodged.

Well, stepped aside, actually.

Having missed the Scouts, the youma rammed facefirst into a
five-foot thick concrete wall.

"Destroy them, my servant!" Jadeite said, waving his right
hand dramatically.

The youma pulled itself out of the wall and growled in
agreement. It once again lunged at the Sailor Senshi.
[Scouts... Senshi... Eh, po-tae-toe po-ta-toe..]

"Mars Fire, IGNITE!" Sailor Mars said, burning the youma.

"AUGH! You have destroyed me!" The youma said lamely,
disintegrating in a puff of magical dust.

"Got your monster, Jedite! Err... Jadeite!" Sailor Mars said.

"Bah. Can't anyone say it right?! Overworked, underpaid...
No respect," Jadeite grumbled.

"What?" Sailor Moon asked.

The short-haired general snapped his fingers. "Round Two,"
he said. The youma reformed into something twice as evil looking.
It cackled at the expressions on their faces.

"Moon Tiara Magic!"

The tiara flew at the youma, smashing into a shield which
blocked it completely. The youma smiled and stalked toward them.

There was a bright red flash and a rose imbedded itself
into the concrete.

"Remember, Sailor Earth, you can do anything as long as
you-URK!" Tuxedo Mask said until the youma flung out black
ribbons and snagged his throat.

"OHOHOHOHOHO!!!" the youma laughed evilly, flinging
Tuxedo Mask into the ocean..

*SMACK!*

HARD.

"Tuxedo Mask!" Sailor Earth gasped out worriedly.

"OHOHOHOHOHOHO*WHAM*!!" The youma laughed until Sailor
Earth gave it a sharp uppercut, sending it back into the wall.

The youma recovered after three seconds, attacking again.

"Mercury Bubbles, BLAST!" Sailor Mercury said, blanketing
the area in a thick fog.

"OHOHOhoho... wait... I CAN'T SEE!" The youma said, lunging
blindly.

"Moon Tiara Magic!"

"Mars Fire, IGNITE!"

This time, the attacks penetrated the shield, vaporizing
the youma completely. Again.

The fog dissipated.

"Very nice," Jadeite said calmly. "But how about this?"

The airplanes came to life and started to move toward the
Sailor Senshi. Sailor Moon reached for her tiara.

"If you do, they'll be taking that out of your allowance!"
Luna warned. Sailor Moon's hand dropped quickly.

...

Atomic Starlight Knight surfaced, dragging an unconscious
Tuxedo Mask out of the ocean. A.S.K. shook his head. He was going
to make his grand entrance when Tux-boy here nearly bit the dust.

"You blast 'em, THEN you make the speech!" A.S.K. said
exasperatedly, setting Tuxedo Mask on the ground before going to
help.

...

One of the planes exploded in a brilliant shower of sparks.

"What the...?" Jadeite said.

The distraction gave Sailor Mars an opening. "Begone, evil
spirit!" she intoned, tagging a ward directly on the center of
Jadeite's back.

The planes began following Jadeite.

"How did you do that?" Jadeite asked, then realizing that
he had something on his back.

"Your thoughts are evil, Je...Jadeite, and now your evil is
working against you!" Sailor Mars shouted triumphantly. Sailors
Moon, Earth, and Mars were now moving to get in range for a finishing
blow. Well, Earth was sort of... cheerfully following.

Off to the sidelines, Luna was staring incredulously at
the burning wreckage of the plane. Starlight Knight appeared from
out of nowhere right by her.

"Do you know how much those cost?!" Luna asked in shock.

"I'll send 'em a check," Starlight Knight said calmly.
Luna stared at him in disbelief.

The Sailor Scouts had their attention firmly locked on Jadeite.
Jadeite, on the other hand, had just taken notice of Starlight
Knight.

"GRRRRR!" Jadeite growled, anger finally showing since he had
something stuck on his back, and because he was seeing the one
who had done exactly the same thing so many millennia ago. The ward
on his back burned off in a wisp of smoke.

<So, by the way, what was he gathering all that energy
for, anyway? I mean, it can't take THAT much energy to do what
he did,> Starlight Knight thought to himself.

Jadeite began to glow with a bright red aura.

<What's he doing?>

The aura brightened.

The aura flared around Jadeite, leaving him with an angry,
puffed-up hair style.

"W...what's he doing?" Sailor Moon asked nervously.

"Kame..." Jadeite began, gathering energy.

<Somehow, I doubt that this is a good thing.>

"HAME..." Jadeite continued.

<AAAAAAAHHHH! DO YOU FEEL THE POWER READINGS ON THAT?!!?>
Starlight Knight thought, deciding that he had better work on
stopping whatever it was from happening. He started tapping his
own resources.

"GET OUT OF THERE!!" S.K. yelled to the Sailor Scouts. They
turned to look at him. "GET OUT!" He pushed Sailor Mercury behind
him.

"PSEUDO STELLAR QUANTUM PHASE NANO-MOLECULAR DISINTEGRATION-"
S.K. said quickly, but even as he did, he knew it wasn't going to
be quite enough, but he was going to try anyway.

"HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Jadeite finished, unleashing a MASSIVE
HUMONGOUSLY HUGE blast of energy. It swept through the ranks of
the Sailor Senshi, causing them to vanish in its wake. Sailor
Mercury froze at the sight of this from her position behind
Starlight Knight, who was suffering his own shock as he felt the
link between him and his real mind shatter.

"-WITH A DOUBLE PIKE AND A HALF TWIST!!!" S.K. finished,
tapping EXTREMELY large amounts of energy from his reserves,
throwing his own blast, nearly as large, in hopes of canceling
it out.

The blasts met in the air.

*KABLAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!*

They each canceled the other out. The entire airport area
was gouged out, digging a crater nearly four miles across. The
explosion could be seen from orbit...

~Intermission~

[Elevator music plays in the background.]

~End Intermission~

A few minutes later, the smoke cleared. Two energy shields
flickered with its passing.

Jadeite's enhanced aura was gone, but he still looked ready
for anything that may still come.

Starlight Knight stood, heavily damaged, face scratched,
armor broken in several places, and looked generally... unhealthy.
There were many reasons for that, the primary being that since
the link was broken, he had to maintain his existence by tapping
the resources he had left. Compared to earlier today, he was down
to less than... two percent.

Sailor Mercury stood virtually unscathed, but looked
severely traumatized by the experience. Well, wouldn't you be?

"At (ragged breath) what time (ragged breath) did I
(ragged breath) lose control here?" Starlight Knight asked
rhetorically, wondering what could have gone wrong.

"Impressive show, TIM!" Jadeite yelled maniacally. "But
now is the time for you to DIE!"

Jadeite prepared another blast. S.K. stood firm.

Mercury stepped in front of him. "NO!" she cried out.
"MERCURY ICE STORM!!!"

An intense blizzard ripped around Jadeite, leaving him
frozen solid, encased in a huge ice prison. The fierce wind
from the storm shattered it. He disintegrated.

"Moon dusted," Sailor Mercury said weakly, then collapsed,
sobbing.

"We lost..." S.K. realized to his horror. Even if they had
destroyed Jadeite, the loss of everyone else made it impossible to
count it as a victory.

"It (sniff) sure seems that way," Sailor Mercury noted.

"We're not supposed to lose! Let me see that timeline!"
S.K. said, using what limited things he remembered from his
many encounters with Sailor Pluto. "We did... and it was,
apparently, the only way things could have happened..."

***

"And, Neflyte, I guess that means you are the winner," Beryl
said. Nephrite's followers cheered as he was handed seven
hundred [Units of Negaverse currency.] from each of the other
generals, who grumbled.

"Finally!" Nephrite exclaimed. "Time to buy that Pioneer
LD/DVD combo player!"

***

"It's horrible," Sailor Mercury said, looking at the
tremendous destruction that had been caused.

"Yes, it is..." S.K. said, smiling slightly, then frowned.
"It's going to take more than that to cheer me up."

Mercury looked at him and raised an eyebrow. She frowned
and looked down. "If only there was something we could have done..."

The battered knight smiled wryly, putting a comforting hand
on her shoulder. "It's no use worrying about the past... what could
have been done, if MAYBE we could have..." He trailed off, a
thoughtful expression forming on his face.

The blue-haired Scout sniffled. "I suppose you're right-"

S.K. snapped his fingers. "Wait a sec... who'm I kidding?
Like I'm going to let it end like *this*! Who cares if I screw up
the time stream! MAN, is Sailor Pluto gonna get a headache from
this one!"

"Sailor who?" Mercury asked.

"Eh? Oh, old archenemy of mine. Heh heh..." He grinned as he
stood up straight.

"What are you planning to do?" the distraught girl asked,
hopes rising.

"I have to go find some humpbacks..." S.K. mused.

"Humbacked... people?" Sailor Mercury asked, hopes fading.
S.K. looked at her strangely.

"Whales, Mercury. Whales! About forty tons each, I don't
remember exactly how long they are... But the point is... Oh, just
wait here."

"Where are you going? For how long?" Mercury asked, unsure
about being left alone after all this.

"If I'm right, then I'll be back in... negative ten minutes,"
S.K. said, then vanished.

---

The Atomic Starlight Knight fiddled with the controls,
activating and energizing the systems in his starship, still
docked on his base in Jupiter.

[All Systems are functioning within normal parameters,]
the computer said cheerfully in a Majel-Barret-Roddenberry voice.

<Quiet, you!>

"Prepare to open bay doors," A.S.K. said. He winced as a
shockwave rippled through his existence. Being someone who now
only existed as a temporary floating entity that only remained
alive through stored energy reserves had its disadvantages. The
chief one being that he could not last for very long, even with
the added energy bonus, either. He couldn't even recharge, that
being the function of the real body.

He walked toward the gantry to enter the starship. He was
nearly there when he felt a familiar presence and automatically
shielded against it.

[Intruder Alert,] the computer noted.

"I cannot allow you to do this," a green-haired woman dressed
as a Sailor Senshi said as she appeared.

"Why, hello, Sailor Pluto. Why, pray tell, not?" A.S.K. asked,
clenching his fist at his side. He had expected her to show up for
this, given the fact of what he was about to do... but he was in no
mood to be stopped at this particular moment.

"You said it yourself," Pluto replied, "This was the only way
it could have happened. Mercury, the only survivor of this, becomes
hardened by the loss of her friends. She fights against the Negaverse
with impossibly great strength and valor, eventually finding Sailors
Venus and Jupiter. She became an excellent tactician, eventually
sneaking in and destroying the Negaverse and the Negaforce once
and for all.

A.S.K. raised an eyebrow. "You... just told me that?! Alright,
who are you, and what have you done with Sailor Pluto? She'd never
blab out the future like that."

Pluto sighed. "I told you in order to reassure you that things
will turn out for the-"

"OUT OF MY WAY, HUMAN," the former galactic destroyer growled
in a voice much deeper and more menacing than normal, his eyes
momentarily glowing a deep shade of crimson, "OR DIE."

Sailor Pluto was mildly taken aback, but she didn't show it.
"I know we have never exactly been on the best of terms, but it is
of the utmost importance that you do NOT interfere in this."

The battered knight began to walk around Pluto, but she
moved to block him. He snarled at her. "WHAT constitutes
'interference,' human?" he asked. "Time traveling? Causing a
major change in the timeline? Having control of one's destiny...?
Going against your precious 'What Must Be?' How about EXISTING,
Sailor Pluto? Can I do THAT?!"

Pluto sighed and shook her head. "You do not understand."

"Really?" A.S.K. asked, roughly shoving her aside. "Ever
consider the possibility that it's YOU that doesn't understand?"

"Now you're just being silly."

Silly? Silly?! SILLY?!?! "I'll show YOU silly!" the former
galactic destroyer shouted, dropping the first couple layers of
his temporal shielding.

"What are you..." Sailor Pluto began, noticing the odd
temporal disturbance. She gasped as she finally got a good look
at A.S.K.'s history.

"How's that for silly?!"

Pluto's lower lip trembled slightly. "MONSTER!" she screamed
at A.S.K.

"Yeah, yeah. Blasts and bombs may weaken my shields, but
words will never-"

"DEAD SCREAM!" the Time Guardian shouted, summoning her attack.
She normally whispered it, but she was a little too shocked to be
quiet about it.

"Of course, I could be wrong on that account," A.S.K. muttered,
slamming his hand down on a big red button marked, 'Emergency.'

Several bolts of lightning-like charges intercepted the
energy before it reached him, throwing Sailor Pluto against the
wall, and breaking her grip on the Time Key, which landed on the
other side of the room.

Thick bands of energy latched themselves onto Pluto's arms
and legs, dragging her against the wall.

"Young fool... Only now, in the end, do you understand..."
the former galactic destroyer said darkly.

The trapped Senshi narrowed her eyes, staring at A.S.K. in
pure, unmitigated hatred. "You monster... All this time..."

A.S.K. stalked toward her. "Nice to know that you aren't
infallible, isn't it?"

Pluto closed her eyes in concentration. Her bonds dissipated
and she kicked out, knocking her enemy back. She held out her hand,
and her timestaff flew into it. She swung, hitting the already
battered knight in the shoulder. He slumped hard against the wall.
"Let it not be said that I am unwilling to correct my errors."

A.S.K. winced, yet another shockwave rippling through him.
The section of his armor that was hit began to glow, small blue
particles boiling off. "I don't have time for this, Pluto!"

"Creature of darkness... YOU MUST BE STOPPED!"

The damaged semi-energy being struggled to his feet, ducking
another swing and leveling a punch at his opponent.

She effortlessly caught his fist. She squeezed, driving
him down. "Your time has come."

"You know," A.S.K. said, trying to struggle his way out of
Pluto's painful grip, "there is something I have to tell you about
myself..."

"I know quite enough about you, spawn of evil!"

A.S.K. looked up at Pluto, and smiled evilly. "Spawn? That is
all you think I am? Oh no, my friend. I'm much worse than that..."

With that, he dropped all of his remaining temporal shielding.

Summoning the proper energy pattern, he forced a temporal scan,
sending Sailor Pluto all of his history...

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"

In full, wide IMAX visual and rich, loud digital THX sound...

The guardian of the Gate of Time stood, transfixed by the
horror of what she now knew.

"How'dya like THEM apples?" A.S.K. asked, pulling free of
Pluto's grip. She looked at him, her mouth agape, trembling.

Sailor Pluto fainted to the floor with a dull thud.

"'Bout time," A.S.K. groaned, standing up. He surveyed his
handywork, then started to walk toward the hatch leading to the
docking bay. "Computer, prepare to open bay doors."

[Unable to comply.]

A.S.K. groaned, supressing another shockwave that threatened
to tear him apart. "Why... not?!"

[Tachyonic interference is jamming all secondary systems in
the docking bay area. The docking bay is offline.]

"Fix it. Now!"

[Unable to comply. Tachyonic interference-]

A.S.K. stopped. "Tachyonic...?" He paled. "Temporal effects...
Sailor Pluto!"

He gritted his teeth, debating the wisdom of having just left
the Time Guardian lying there unsupervised.... and comprehending the
absolute stupidity of even turning his back on her... A.S.K.
frantically whirled to look at where he left her and saw...

Sailor Pluto was sprawled on the floor, breathing slowly, eyes
closed. She was apparently sleeping more or less peacefully. The
timestaff had fallen out of her grasp.

<FINISSSH HER!!!!!!!!!> A portion of A.S.K.'s mind cried out.
<Her powerssss are sssstoping you... Desssstroy her, and they will
ccceasssse.>

His features hardening, A.S.K. held out his hand toward Sailor
Pluto, and a handgun appeared in it with a puff of blue flame.

<Yesssss.... Kill her... Ssssheee will never trouble ussss
againnn!>

"Now," he said, a snarl creeping to his lips, "since you are
_still_ stopping me, and since I can't have you following me and
messing everything up..."

He pulled the trigger.

*Click*

A.S.K. looked at his handgun, and frowned. "Oh, bugger. We're
plum out of ammunition..."

<KILL!>

<She. Must. Die.>

<Annihilate!>

<YESSSSSSSSS!!! DESSSSTROY!>

*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM!!!*

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!!!!" A.S.K. shouted,
pounding on his head as hard as he could with the back of his
handgun.

He stopped, remembering something, and looked down at the
timestaff (or was that Garnet Rod? I can never remember...). "Hey,
that could work... Her powers kinda derive from..."

He picked up the timestaff, and tried to break it over his
armored knee...

*Wham!*Crack!*

And ended up fracturing his rapidly-weakening armor. "Ow...
Stupid indestructable ancient magical artifacts..." He paused,
thinking about that. "Indestructable, eh? We'll see about that..."

He looked over the staff, and found the focus of its power:
the orb on the tip.

A.S.K. clenched his left fist... and brought it down HARD on
the orb...

*Crunch!*

"Ow," A.S.K. muttered, looking at the badly crushed bone
structure. "So much for that idea..."

Concentrating, he snapped his hand back into working order,
then gripped the timestaff with both hands, and brought the tip
smashing into the deck... badly denting the floor.

A.S.K. narrowed his eyes at the unblemished orb, which shined
back at him in such a way that one might think it was mocking him.

The dying mental projection growled, and held up his index
finger. "Bakusai..." he said, charging up, and pointing his finger at
the orb, "Tenketsu!!!"

*CRUNCH!*

"Owie..." A.S.K. commented, readjusting his broken finger.
He threw the staff to the floor in annoyance. He pointed his hand
at the orb. "OKKUU SHUTSUDOHIN!!!"

*Zrreow* A thin beam went out from his hand, and impacted on
the center of the orb, disappearing into it.

A.S.K. sighed. "No, wait, don't tell me... THAT didn't work,
either, did it?"

*Chink...* There was a soft cracking sound as a small fracture
appeared in the orb. Light shone out of the crack.

"Finally!" A.S.K. shouted exhasperatedly. "Something."

*Chink*Chink*Chink*Chink* More cracks appeared in the orb.

A.S.K. began to feel the level of sheer power that was pouring
out. "Hmm... Some artifacts contain a lot of energy. So, destroying
it would, of course... Uh oh. Computer! Activate a level six-hundred
force field around the Garnet Orb! NOW!"

A spherical force field flickered into existence around the
small orb.

*BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!* The force field barely managed
to contain the blast, which lasted a full twenty-five seconds.

"Computer... report on the tachyonic interference."

[Tachyonic interference has subsided. Minor multi-spatial
disturbances have begun-]

"Do you mean I _still_ can't get my starship out?!"

[All docking bay systems are functioning within normal
parameters.]

A.S.K. took in a ragged sigh. "Alright, then! Activate the
docking bay doors."

[Unable to comply. Override authorization code MEIOU has been
implemented. All command functions for authorization ASK have been
suspended.]

"OPEN THE BAY DOORS!!!" A.S.K. growled, his eyes glowing red.

The computer processed that for a moment. [Confirmed.]

Through the observation window, A.S.K. could see the bay doors
opening. He calmed down. "That's better."

Breathing raggedly, he walked over to the hatch leading to the
docking bay and placed his hand on the right access panel. The door
slid open. He glanced back at Sailor Pluto. "I don't envy you the
headache you'll have when I'm done. But... it's the price we must
pay... for SCIENCE!"

A.S.K. shrugged mentally. "And in the meantime, sleep well...
Dream of small, annoying, winged horses, and of mindless little girls
that steal mirrors and incessantly speak in the third person."

<...?!!?>

<Oh, I don't know!>

The former galactic destroyer shook off his inner confusion
and entered his ship, setting about his task.

---

[Warp Speed achieved.]

"Good, continue plotted course," A.S.K. commanded.

<I... see.>

[Warp six achieved... Warp seven... Warp eight... Warp nine.]

The starship flew in close proximity to the sun, throwing
it into time warp...

---

The aura flared around Jadeite, leaving him with an angry,
puffed-up hair style.

"W...what's he doing?" Sailor Moon asked nervously.

"Kame..." Jadeite began, gathering energy.

<Somehow, I doubt that this is a good thing.>

"HAME..." the Negaverse general continued.

A bucket materialized above him, upside-down.

*SPLASH!*

Jadeite-chan dropped out of her attack, spluttering,
tearing the bucket off her face angrily.

"...BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" Starlight Knight didn't know how it
happened, but laughed at it anyway. He remembered that prank he
played so many years back and laughed some more.

"Aiya!" S.K. began, still laughing. "You get dumped on by
Spring of Drowned *CUTE* Girl! Very tragic story of very kawaii
girl who drown in spring twenty thousand years ago."

Something else materialized.

"Sweeto!!" *GLOMP!*

"GRRRRRRR!" Jadeite-chan growled cutely, attempting to get
rid of the little thing, prying with her hands, then with a
crowbar, then a jackhammer...

Finally, she gathered her energy and-

*KABLAAAAAM!* -blasted it into geosynchronous orbit.

"You know, Jadeite, you're really *CUTE* when you're angry!"
S.K. taunted, almost rolling on the ground with laughter.

"Youuuuuuuuu," Jadeite-chan said cutely, preparing another
blast, throwing it at the Sailor Scouts and S.K.

The energy blast impacted on a BIG energy shield.

"What the..."

A seven-hundred meter long starship decloaked, locking a
tractor beam onto Jadeite-chan, and then moved out of the atmosphere
at speeds technobabble can only dream about.

"Well, that was anticlimactic. Bye!" S.K. said, leaving,
hoping to see more explosions elsewhere.

This left four Sailor Scouts, one ArbyFish, and one moon cat
staring at the scene.

"Um, what just happened?" Sailor Moon asked.

"I don't know..." Luna said.

"Eh? Wot?" Arby asked, looking up from his examination of a
rather nice patch of mushrooms in the grass.

---

"Well, Hank, we finally got the Hubble Telescope working,"
a man said, drinking his coffee.

"Right, Jim, now let's see what's out there, in the vast,
unknown cosmos," Hank replied, sipping his own coffee.

~Happosai flew by, knocking the telescope off axis.~

The scene now depicted a huge starship locked in deadly
combat with someone in a general's uniform.

"Well, who wants lunch?" Hank asked, looking around to see
everyone intently staring at the screen.

---

The starship fired relentlessly with its phasers,
shooting off quantum torpedoes in groups of three, bashing into
the shield Jadeite had surrounded himself with.

Jadeite, having changed back to male somewhere along the way,
retaliated with his own blasts, eventually knocking through the
starship's shields and doing heavy damage to the hull.

...

A severely beat up Atomic Starlight Knight pounded on his
control panel, which wasn't responding. His energy was nearly
depleted.

[Shields are offline,] the computer said cheerfully.

"Oh, great."

*SMASH!*

[Weapons are offline.]

"Perhaps today IS a good day to die! PREPARE FOR RAMMING
SPEED!!!"

*BLAM!*

[Hull breach in sections three through fifty.]

"What does that have to do with anything?!" A.S.K. yelled.

Jadeite burst through the floor, landing in front of A.S.K.

"PSIONIC BLAST!" A.S.K. yelled, grabbing Jadeite's head,
sending a massive shockwave through Jadeite's mind, burning out
his translator.

Jadeite blasted A.S.K. off of him, back into his chair.
He groaned as his last seconds passed.

"Any last words before I complete my revenge?" Jadeite
asked. A.S.K. sat straight on his chair.

"Yes," the battered individual said in the youma language,
slowly fading from existence. He switched back to English and
muttered something incomprehensible to Jadeite. The ship's
computer responded in an equally difficult to understand language.

"Now... die," the blonde general whispered in a deathly
quiet voice, clenching his fists as he charged up.

The semi-transparent knight forced himself to stand, and
shouted out one last thing. He cracked a smile at Jadeite and
whispered two words that the general managed to make out:
"Saved 'em..."

Without further hesitation, Jadeite sent his energies
blasting forward in several pulsing streams... obliterating
everything that stood in front of him.

He stopped as he noticed something odd.

***

[Queen Beryl?] Jadeite asked through the communicator.

Very impressed at the work that had just been accomplished,
Queen Beryl smiled. "Excellent work, Jedite! You finally managed
to get rid of-"

[Er.... Thank you, but... My translator seems to have been
damaged... And the ship's computer is speaking-]

"Speaking? Let me hear."

[Six...Five...Four-]

Beryl's eyes widened. "JEDITE! GET OUT! GET OUT OF THERE!!"

***

[GET OUT!] Beryl yelled.

Jadeite looked around for some reason why.

[Two... One...]

Boom.

---

The Sailor Scouts, now in civilian form, looked up at the
pretty fireworks demonstration in the sky.

***

"Hmm. That's it for Jadeite, it seems," Queen Beryl said.

"YES! I win!" Zoicite said. Everyone, grumbling, handed
Zoicite her money. [HaHa! Yes. NA continuity. Zoicite's a she!]

"Neflyte?" Beryl called. Nephrite came forward.

"Yes, Queen Beryl?" Nephrite said confidently.

"You're next."

The brown-haired general gulped.

Jadeite appeared in front of Queen Beryl, clothes smoking,
and looking on with a dazed expression.

"Jedite? I thought that last one would have killed you!"
the youma queen said in astonishment.

"I know, but I was saved at the last minute," Jadeite replied.

"How...?" Zoicite asked quizzically.

"Well," Jadeite said dazedly, music beginning, "I'll tell you."

Some of the youma in the background began to sing softly.

o/He's going to tell, he's going to tell...\o

"Silence!!!" Beryl warned.

Jadeite began swaying back and forth in sync with the singing.

o/He's going to tell, he's going to tell...
He's going to tell, he's going to tell...
He's going to tell, he's going to tell...
He's going to tell, he's going to tell...\o

"NO SINGING!!!" Beryl screamed.

Jadeite opened his mouth to tell; to tell about how he
survived, about the identities of the Sailor Scouts, which he had
discovered earlier and didn't say anything about. He was going to
tell about all this and more...

*BZZR*Ching* Well, he was, until Queen Beryl shot out her
energy and encased the unfortunate general, who was in the middle
of an extremely prissy singing pose, in crystal, to Sleep Forever...

"Now let that be a lesson to everyone!" the evil queen snapped,
sending her newest, most embarrasing lawn gnome into storage.
"Now, Neflyte... Tell me, what is *your* plan? And it had better
not involve singing!"

Nephrite coughed. "Er... actually..."

"Neflyte..."

"NO!" the brown-haired general shouted, stuffing some sheet
music he had been writing on into his pocket. "Er... no. There will
not be any singing involved in my plans. My work is... based upon
the stars, and most certainly not on singing. Really."

***

<That was weird. The water, the temporal signature,
everything,> Atomic Starlight Knight thought, trying to figure
out why something that looked exactly like his starship would
be flying around and blowing itself up.

<Yeah, it did! Anyway, the ship seemed to have been from
some errant timeline.>

<How'd that happen?>

<...Huh?>

^^^

Some distance away, Sailor Pluto had a BAD headache.

"Tem...por...al... Pa..ra..dox..."

@@@

The three goddesses, working with fire crews, fought
desperately to save the universe.

"Someone's been creating paradoxes!" The youngest said,
smashing bugs left and right, dodging the flames. "The computer
can't take it! It's gonna blow!"

"'Niichan!!" Another called in desperation.

Their brother appeared at a terminal, quickly punching a few
keys.

The computer burst into another round of bugs and flames.

He put in a disk.

"Come on, load, LOAD!" He commanded the drive.

The flames subsided and the bugs winked out of existence.

"That was close! Good thing I finished working on that patch,"
he said, relaxing against his chair.

The goddesses couldn't help but agree with him.

&&&[End Chapter 5.]

[Sailor Sez]

"Today, we learned a very important lesson about Destiny..."

"It's fer WUSSIES!!"

"Wussies who can't time travel."

"Wussies who don't have the guts to do anything about it."

"So what if there's a risk? There's risks in everything. Only wussies
wouldn't dare take a chance to make a better future.
Sailor Nuke sez.BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!"

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