Come Into the Light

By Kitty


Part One:

It was just another typical Friday night at the Bronze; Buffy mused to herself, as she looked around and then focused on her usual band of cohorts. Willow the shy computer geek turned witch and her werewolf (but in a good way) boyfriend Oz. Xander, her guy best bud, who was currently trying to get his now ex-girlfriend Cordelia to thumb wrestle with him, his pathetic attempt at re-establishing his non existent relationship with the head cheerleader. To say the least, none of them were having a good time.

"This blows, I’m outta here." Cordelia pushed back her chair and made to stand.

"Come on Cordy, don’t be that way!" " The big bad guys are gonna show up soon, I promise!" Xander hated the idea of Cordelia leaving, not because the Scooby Gang needed her help, but after he screwed up big-time with Willow it took months before Cordelia even came along on Slay duty. Now that she finally was talking to the group again, he didn’t want to have his suck up time shortened in any way.

"Hate to agree with the reigning king of Thumb Wrestle Mania" interjected Oz, "but Giles did say a dark force of unspeakable evil coming this way."

"Yeah, Cordy stay" Willow said more for Xander’s benefit than the groups "I’ll share my fat-free pretzels with you."

"I think I shared quite enough with you!" Cordy’s glare turned the usually pale Willow bright red, even Oz didn’t come to his girlfriends rescue this time; Cordy’s comment hit a sore spot. Xander just looked at the floor memorizing every crack. Only Buffy was left to try to establish some peace among her troops.

"Everyone’s right Cor, I need you to stay, Giles was positive tonight some big Vamp was coming and you know how they love to check out the local teen scene. Besides, if you leave I’ll have to walk you to your car and possibly miss out on this impotent evil"

"I think the word Giles used was "omnipotent" Buff." Willow corrected apologetically.

"Well let’s hope that’s what Giles said, just think how pissed off this vamp would be if not only can’t he audition for Baywatch but jeez impotent too!" Xander’s final crack finally broke the tension and all five settled back in their seats.

"Anyhow, like I was about to say…" Buffy trailed off as she spotted the most gorgeous guy she’s ever seen in all her 18 years come through the front door of the Bronze. He was Magnificent, that wasn’t a word Buffy Summers usually thought of when she thought of boys but, oh man, this guy was so passed hot and light years away from gorgeous. Magnificent was definitely the word. He was tall with dark brown hair, cut kinda spiky on top, she couldn’t tell from where she was what color his eyes were, but his face was beautiful.

Full lips, a hard defined jawline and cheekbones that slashed up his face. His eyes were deep set and even his eyebrows were boldly defined.

Her gaze moved down his body, he was dressed all in black, black pants, black tight t-shirt and black jacket. But there was no mistaking that his body was all muscle, she wouldn’t find any fat on that bod, she just knew it, and had the most irresistible urge to run over there and try.

OK slow down girl! Buffy admonished herself, she never went into babbling idiot mode over a guy and she dated quite a few hotties in her time here in Sunnydale.

There was Owen, who she dated her sophomore year, Craig who lasted briefly during Junior year and most recently Scott, who only lasted a few dates in the beginning of Senior year. But slaying and dating didn’t go hand and hand so eventually all these crushes faded away.

As she got older she realized that no normal human boy would stay alive very long in her world, so she focused more on her slaying abilities and less on her social life. Surprising the better she got at slaying the more fulfilled she felt, but sometimes when she was alone in her bed at night, or early morning, she wished that she had someone strong enough to fight by her side yet gentle enough to hold her through the night.

"Houston control to Buffy, come in Buffy" Xander’s mock static voice brought her out of her hormone trance.

"Uh.. OK..Umm what was I saying?" Buffy felt like a total moron but it wasn’t the first time.

"You were about to shoot off some Giles sayings or whatnot, then you looked at the door and.." It was Cordelia’s turn to catch sight of the guy standing by door.

"Oh my " Cordelia abruptly stood up and made to move toward the door. "He doesn’t know it yet, but tonight is his lucky night." She shrugged off the sweater to her twin set, revealing a skintight tube top and started to walk.

"Not so fast, Cordy" Buffy grabbed her arm, "Remember major badness tonight"

"Ask me how much I don’t care, besides that your gig I just officially found something better to do"

"Girls, girls what’s all the fuss about" Xander looked around totally confused about what got Buffy and Cordelia suddenly spitting at each other like cats. He saw nothing out of the ordinary.

Willow, quiet up to now, finally spoke up "I think it may have something to do with Mr. Tall, dark, and dangerous who just walked in." She noticed the guy about the same time Cordelia did, but being totally devoted to her man Oz, and knowing how painful hurting Oz could be. She chalked him up to yeah he’s cute, but can he bring you a pez witch for no reason, can he say volumes with only one word, can he learn to trust his girlfriend again after she ripped his heart out. No sirree bob!

‘OK Will stop babbling to yourself and focus.’

"I prefer blondes" She gave her best puppy dog look to Oz, who happened to have blonde hair this week. "This week anyway" Oz was notorious for changing his hair color as frequently as his nail polish.

"Well I don’t see what the big deal is, he’s just another big, stupid guy. Cause, you know any guy who’s that buff has to have a pea sized…."

"Don’t even go there," Buffy warned.

"Brain" Xander finished, all the while looking at Cordelia, who was looking at the new guy.



Blood. Adrenaline. Sexual tension. It was all here. Angelus could barely restrain himself from morphing into his true face and grabbing the first over sexed teen that came his way. He was happily terrorizing New York City when he started to feel the pull of the Hellmouth, of course, he already knew of the hellmouth’s existence but until recently had no real desire to visit Sunnydale. At first he didn’t come because of the Master, Angelus didn’t play second fiddle to any vampire, not even one as powerful as the master. No he preferred to be the most powerful vampire in a territory and for Angelus being the leader was almost as necessary as drinking blood. After the Master’s death at the hands of the Slayer, he was tempted to see for himself the girl they called the most powerful Slayer of all, but still he stayed away, a deep sense of foreboding kept him away. It was almost as if he knew that everything would change once he arrived in Sunnydale. Stories occasionally reached him over the next three years of the Slayer’s triumphs and trials. Angelus being the arrogant creature he was, didn’t like the fact that her victories were talked about more than his destruction, something would have to be done about that. He decided it was time to visit the Hellmouth.

Then the dreams came. They started off typically enough for a vampire’s dream. He is in a cemetery; death, blood, chaos is all around him, and just as he grabs his next victim a light appears at the cemetery’s gate. He drops the human and starts walking toward the light, everything evil in him screams to run the other way, but a force greater that evil, greater that good keeps pulling at him. Just as he reaches the light, he sees the silhouette of a woman; she’s petite and blonde. She reaches a hand out toward him and begs him to come into the light with her, he still can’t see her face but the need to grab her hand and let her lead him is almost overwhelming. He feels something, a pull deep inside of him, something he’s never felt before. Then he wakes up, pissed off as hell, *feeling he was f****** feeling in his dreams, since when did he feel?*

Instinctively he knew that his dreams were connected to his impending trip to Sunnydale. No F***** dream was going to stop him. He was going to Sunnydale, kill the almighty Slayer and open the freakin Hellmouth. He was convinced his dreams would then stop and that his name and only his name would be the one that every demon and human (any that were left that is) uttered in fear and admiration.

Meanwhile his dreams continued almost every night and he was forced to "feel" every night. It was a freakin abomination and he meant to put an end to it.

So here he was in this dark, dingy hole looking for one particular blonde. Darla. He knew from the vampire grapevine that Sunnydale was her territory and she was currently involved in trying to outwit the slayer. She had been one of the lucky few to survive after the destruction of the Master and vowed to kill the slayer or die trying. Angelus didn’t know what kind of reception Darla would give him. He hoped she was over the whole Druscilla thing, but like the saying goes "Hell has no fury…". Angelus hated answering to anyone, including his sire so every opportunity he got to piss her off, he took. During his whole Druscilla obsession, Darla was constantly bitching and whining about how he didn’t pay enough attention to her, her displays of jealousy were so human that Angelus was immediately turned off and decided it was time for him to move on without his sire. He turned Druscilla and took off with her, of course he left behind a very detailed letter to Darla pointing out her every deficiency but thanking her for making him. Eventually even that crazy loon Druscilla got on his nerves and when she made that peroxide freak Spike, he took off leaving her and cabbage head far behind. He just wasn’t a one demon kinda guy.

He did get a big kick out of the story that came out of Sunnydale last year. Druscilla and Spike had tried to take Sunnydale from Darla. Boy would he liked to have been around for Battle of the Hell Cats. Darla had uncovered the statue of Acaltha and tried to open the hellmouth. Druscilla decided that she liked the world just how it was, her dollies needed somewhere safe to play, she and Spike actually teamed up with the slayer to stop Darla. He guessed Druscilla’s hate for Darla ran far deeper than her hate for the slayer. The slayer won the battle and stopped Darla, but Spike and Druscilla had no choice but to leave Sunnydale, all the vamps knew about their temporary alliance and were none too happy about it.

He quickly scanned the club checking out all the blondes. His gaze fell to the table not too far from him where three girls and two boys were sitting, seemingly looking at him. A blonde was with them, he looked closer. His gaze caught hers and for a moment he couldn’t look away, she was beautiful. Blonde straight hair past her shoulders, green-blue eyes and pink full lips. But there was something about her, something that had electric sparks running up and down his spine and the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. He felt power coming off of this girl in waves and he felt…. fear. Part of him wanted to saunter over to the table and pour on his come outside with me routine, a routine he perfected a century ago, but a bigger part of him wanted to turn and run right back to New York. What the hell was going on! Who was this girl?

Cordelia saw her potential next boyfriend scoping Buffy out and new it was time to move in for the kill.

"Like I said got somewhere else to be" Cordelia seductively walked up to the dark haired guy and began her walk me home routine, a routine she perfected back in Freshman year.

"Hi, you must be new to Sunnydale, because there’s no way I wouldn’t have noticed you around"

"I actually just got here tonight, I was looking for an old friend, thought your friend over there was her for a second" Angelus couldn’t believe his luck when the tall brunette from the table got up and walked up to him. He could find out who the girl was and have a midnight snack. He looked up and down the girl’s body; maybe he’ll play with his food first.

"My name is Cordelia, but my friend’s call me Cordy. "What’s your name?"

"Angelus –pleased to meet you Cordelia" Angelus made sure his voice was low and smooth, he needed to be invited over to that table.

"Angelus, that’s such a cool name" purred Cordelia "What’s your friends name, maybe I know her, I can help you find her"

Angelus was reluctant to divulge Darla’s name, never know how notorious she’s become.

"I have a better idea, do you mind if I just hang out with you and your friends? I don’t see her here yet, but maybe she’ll show."

"Sure come on over I’ll introduce you to everyone" Xander’s going to get a taste of his own medicine, Cordelia couldn’t wait to introduce Angelus. Though why she was thinking of Xander anyway she didn’t know, that was so over, wasn’t it?

As Angelus and Cordelia moved toward the table Buffy couldn’t help but watch him move, like a big, sexy cat. Oh man I got to stop this, looks like Cordelia’s got first dibs. Besides he’d just end up dead if he had anything to do with her. But still, there was something about him.

"I can’t believe this, don’t tell me she’s bringing him over!" Xander was slowly going into freak out mode.

"OK, Xand man we wont tell you, but she is" Oz couldn’t help but add to Xander’s misery, it gave him a happy.

"Just behave yourself Xander" admonished Willow "If this guy makes her happy, then let her be happy, we owe her that much"

"Alright, I’ll be a good Xander" Xander ducked his head playfully but then looked up "What about you Buff? You did see him first; don’t you wanna make a move?"

"Nah – she can have him" Buffy tried to sound casual "Any boyfriend of mine, well they tend to have really close brushes with death."

"Guys I want you to meet Angelus, Angelus this is Oz" Cordelia said while possessively holding onto Angelus’s arm.

"Hey" Oz nodded and didn’t do much else.

"And this is Willow, her and Oz are a couple"

"Hi, Angelus is a neat name, nice to meet you" Willow was her usually peppy self.

"That one is Xander" Cordelia tossed her head in Xander’s general direction.

"Hi – isn’t Angelus kind of a girly name?" Xander was having a real problem with Cordy and this guy.

"Actually it’s Celtic, my people originated in Ireland" Angelus didn’t like this boy. He needed to die and die slowly and painfully. He looked at the boy dead in the eye.

"Angelus was the name of one of their fabled warrior, it’s said he ripped the beating hearts right out of his enemies chest and ate them."

Xander was about to retort when he caught the look in this guy’s eyes. He paled alittle and decided not to ad-lib anymore for tonight.

"Just ignore him, he suffers from lame – a – rama" Cordelia then turned to Buffy.

"And this is Buffy… ok you met everyone let’s go over to the bar." She wanted Angelus away from Buffy fast.

"Nice to meet you Buffy" Buffy Summers, holy shit, the slayer. He was being politely introduced to the slayer. Now he knew why he was freaking earlier. But still, he did acknowledge that she was beautiful. Only no fun with this one before she died, if she was half as powerful as he heard, he was going to have to kill her fast before she knew he was coming. Maybe even tonight.

"Nice to meet you Angelus" Buffy’s voice went soft when she said his name, but as her eyes met his a wave of wrongness swept over her. There was some major bad mojo rolling off of this guy. Slayer mode kicked in. Damn! Not him, why did the cute ones have to be evil. But as she looked him in the eye again, this time as the Slayer not as a young girl, she knew that this was the evil Giles warned her about.

Angelus noticed the change in Buffy’s demenor immediately; he went on full alert. He needed to get of there as fast as possible before she realized exactly what he was.

"Cordelia I don’t think my friend isn’t showing tonight, can I walk you to your car." No need to forgo feeding, this meal will be extra special since it’s one of the slayer’s friends.

"Sure, bye guys see you in class tomorrow" Cordelia grabbed Angelus’s arm and started walking toward the door.

"Come on, let’s follow them" Buffy got up and grabbed her bag. She always carried a stake in there.

"As much as I hate to admit it, we can’t follow them Buff" Xander decided to be mature about this.
" Cordy deserves some happiness, we shouldn’t stand in her way"

Buffy turned to look at everyone still sitting.

"OK let me explain this fast Cordelia – danger, Angelus – Bad, any questions?"

"Lead oh fearless one" Oz jumped up, quickly followed by Willow and Xander.

"I knew it! I knew there was something wrong with him" Xander started running toward the exit, his concern for Cordelia quickly spiraling into outright terror. He cared way too much for her to let something bad happen to her. He just wished he realized how much he cared, before it was too late.

"Cavalry halt" Buffy slowed them down. "Let me lead, you guys just back me up, I don’t know exactly what kind of demon were dealing with. I’m thinking vamp, but I got a stronger sense from him then any ordinary vamp.

" Great just what the Hellmouth needs, SuperVamp" Xander’s quip fell flat.

Just then they heard Cordelia scream.

Buffy vaulted out the doors of the Bronze and followed the sound of Cordelia’s endless screaming; it was coming from the nearby alley.

Just as she rounded the corner she noticed a pipe connecting the two buildings, it looked sturdy enough. Using all of her slayer strength, she took a running dive, sprung straight up and grabbed hold of the pipe, then executed a full twist any gymnast would’ve been proud of. She came down aiming for Angelus head, Angelus was too busy moving in for the kill to notice 100lbs of slayer was about knock him into his next lifetime. Buffy connected solidly and sent Angelus flying head over feet to land right on his back. Unfortunately the momentum sent Cordelia flying right into a pile of trash. While the rest of the Scooby gang pulled Cordelia from the trash, Buffy went to stand over Angelus.

"Who taught you your dating strategies? Marv Albert?" Buffy was in full slayer mode all her warm, fuzzies for this guy vanished. He was already dust to her. She pulled a stake from her jacket and moved in for the kill. At that moment Angelus vamp face morphed back to his all too handsome human one. For a split second Buffy hesitated.

A split second was all Angelus needed, he kicked up and connected with Buffy’s stomach, he quickly got back on his feet and landed several brutal punches to her face and chest. Buffy rallied quickly and started to dole out some serious damage of her own. It went on like this for what seemed like forever, they were equally matched. The gang watched helplessly as Buffy continued to battle, it should have been over by now; it’s always over by now.

Both Buffy and Angelus were tiring and were realizing there wasn’t going to be a winner tonight. They both stepped back from the fight and warily eyed each other.

"Leave Sunnydale and never come back, your kind isn’t wanted here" Buffy tried for her most authoritative voice.

"Hey I thought racism toward the Irish went out a century ago." Angelus was one of those rare vampires that knew how to pun.

"I don’t know what you came here for, but if you stay I’ll kill you. I got the track record to prove it" Buffy just wanted him gone, he was as strong as she was and that gave her the wiggins.

"No chance of that happening little girl, you and me have got a date with Destiny, see you around" In a flash Angelus was gone.

Part Two:

Next morning – Sunnydale High School Library

"Let me get this straight – you let him get away?" Giles pulled off his glasses and started to clean them, a definite sign of agitation of the Giles kind. Buffy, Willow and Xander sat in their usual seats giving their morning report on last night’s debacle. Giles had already been informed last night by Buffy, but wanted a more detailed report from the Slayerettes.

"Yeah Giles, I let him get away, right after I let him use me as a punching bag" Buffy was totally outraged, how dare he suggest she didn’t give 100% in her fight with Angelus. Buffy looked at Willow for moral support, Buffy had called Willow after phoning Giles last night and the two girls were up half of the night discussing Angelus. The conversation started off innocently enough but Buffy soon admitted that a teensy, weensy little part of her balked at turning him to ashes. Willow always the supportive friend assured Buffy that when the time came she’d do the right thing, good looking demon or not. Buffy was less sure; she just had the most erotic dreams starring "Mr. Gorgeous Dead Guy" and was more defensive then usually to Giles typical line of questioning.

"This guy was tough, Giles, there was a couple of times there when I thought Buffy was going to bite it" Xander added his two cents. "No pun intended."

"Thanks Xand… I think" Buffy flashed Xander a wan smile.

"Hey no prob – that’s what I’m here for" Xander gave Buffy two thumbs up.

"Well, yes, back to the situation at hand" Giles quickly went into Watcher mode. "We have an unusually strong vampire, looking for (according to Cordelia) a blonde friend who is female."

Willow raised her hand excitedly; she knew the answer to the riddle.

"Uh Will, you’re not in class, just spit it out" Xander poked her playfully in the ribs.

"Darla, he must be looking for Darla" Willow was very proud of herself. Chalk one up for the smart chick.

"My thoughts exactly Willow, the question is why" Giles went over to a stack of books and began rummaging.

"That’s an easy one, I’ll answer this one" Buffy wanted to get one right too. "Sunnydale + Hellmouth = Vampire looking for mass destruction and terror."

"You’re quite right Buffy, but according to the manuscript that predicted his coming, he serves a greater purpose." Giles kept rummaging through stacks as he spoke.

"Well don’t keep us in suspense Tweed Man, lay it on us, what’s his greater purpose." Xander drummed his fingers impatiently on the table.

"Unfortunately the answer to that must lie in the Codex" Giles sighed wearily

"Ye Gods were not talking feminine hygiene are we, cause if we are I’m outta here" Xander looked almost panicked.

"The Codex is a compellation of prophecies passed from Watcher to Watcher. The manuscript I translated originated from the Codex and that’s where I believe we would find our answers." Giles rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the book in his hand.

"This sounds right up your alley, Giles, let’s open that book and start translating… Xander donut time" Buffy bounced out of her chair and reached out toward the book in Gile’s hands.

"This isn’t the Codex, Buffy, as I was about to say, the Codex disappeared roughly 100 years ago, after a vicious attack on the then Watcher. The Watcher was killed and the Codex hasn’t been seen since." Giles flipped open the book in his hand.

"Bummer" Willow sighed. "So whatcha got there?"

"This is a past Watcher’s Diary, after Buffy’s call last night, I looked up to see if there was any mention of Angelus." Giles directed his next comments to Buffy. "There is a mention of him during the mid 1800’s, he’s called the Scourge of Europe and is known for his remorseless viciousness. His primary target is women, young and old. He is uncommonly strong and resourceful for a vampire and several Watcher’s have speculated on this. He is more dangerous than any known vampire, except Master vampires, because he plans his kills and torments his prey for months in some cases years before actually killing them. He destroys every part of his victims; bodies, souls and minds."

"So, not a nice guy huh?" Buffy looked sick. Last night her dreams were exciting in a forbidden way, now

confronted with reality, her dreams made her want to vomit. "Did your manuscript have any other useful info?"

"Only a vague reference, something about the blood of an Angel being the key" Giles looked frustrated. "If only we had that infernal book."

"Well, nada we can do about that G-Man, so what’s the plan?" Xander needed a course of action not speculation. He was action man, he figured it was a residual effect from that Halloween fiasco.

"Buffy I need you to find out where Darla has holed up and see if Angelus shows up, maybe you’ll see or hear something useful. But be careful, remember they will sense you if you get too close." Giles then looked at Willow and Xander.

"Willow go surf that computer and see if you come across any reference to the Codex."

"Xander take Cordelia and drive out to Willies, maybe you can get some information from him regarding Angelus." Giles put down his book. "In the meantime, I’ll confer with Wesley and have him call the Counsel for any help they might be." His doubtful look said it all.

"Not that I mind or anything, but why would I take Cordelia to Willies?" Xander look genuinely perplexed.

"She’s going to need someone to hold him still while she tongue lashes any information from him" Giles managed to get that out while keeping a straight face.

"Ha, Ha that is so anti-hilarious" Xander stomped out the door.

As soon as the doors swung closed the remaining three occupants of the room couldn’t hold it in anymore, they broke out in hysterical laughter.

Part 3:

Outside the Crawford St. Mansion – later that night


Buffy’s legs were getting cramped; she had been sitting outside the garden’s windows for a couple of hours and still no Darla or no Angelus. Finding out where Darla’s lair was easy enough, once you bet the crap out of some fledglings, now she had to be patient and wait. Not a Buffy strong point.

Waiting led to thinking and thinking led to boy thinking and boys led to sex and sex led to….Angelus? No, No, No, and No Way for good measure. I got to stop this, what’s wrong with me? He’s major evilness and I’m the slayer. How can I even consider it, its vomitrocious!

I know what my problem is, Buffy vented to herself, it’s this whole virgin deal. I wouldn’t be so hot on Fang Boy if I actually had sex, which doesn’t seem very likely since the boy’s I’ve dated tend to end up close to death, and the one guy I find sexy as hell, well is technically dead. So my only option is to die a virgin. God that sucks! At this rate Willow and I will be the only virgin’s on Graduation Day. I hope Willow finally convinces Oz that it’s him she wants and not Xander, then I can possibly live vicariously through her, the next best thing to having sex yourself is your best friend having sex then filling you in on all the gory details.

**OK Buff** Buffy mentally shook herself **Let’s focus on slaying not on laying**

Another hour crept by before Darla made an appearance at the Mansion. Buffy noticed she had a blonde guy with her, cute, kinda tall and lanky, he looked scared as hell. He reminded Buffy of Jess. Buffy wanted to rush in at that point and pull the guy out of there, but notice a half a dozen of her minions followed her into the room, not good odds. She decided to wait and see what developed maybe an opening would present itself.

"Do you like my home?" Darla asked the boy while running her nails up and down his chest. "I found this place by accident and knew I had to have it, it was a steal." She unexpected kicked out her right leg, hooked it around the back of the boy’s knees and yanked. He tumbled backwards onto his back, Darla wasted no time in straddling him.

"Listen, I had a nice time and all, but it’s getting late and I got to get up early tomorrow" the boy looked around desperately, looking for a way out.

"Sorry sweety, you wont be going anywhere, not tonight, not ever" with that Darla morphed into her true face. The boy screamed and she backhanded him. "No screaming, if you scream I’ll only hurt you more."

Buffy resisted the urge to go in and tear that bitch off of him, but knew the odds weren’t in her favor. She had to stay alive not only did she have Angelus to worry about, but there was that whole Mayor/Faith thing that she purposely wasn’t thinking about until Graduation Day got closer. No matter what or who unfortunately, she had to stay alive.

Darla ripped the guy’s clothes off and started to run her very sharp fingernails up and down his body. Despite himself Lance felt himself get hard which made Darla start to grind her crotch into his lap. She quickly disposed of her own clothes, then still in vamp face, impaled herself on him. She rode him hard and fast then leaned over and started biting his nipples, hard. She tore off his right nipple then moved to the left one, every bite went further until there was rivulets of blood were pouring from the screaming boy’s chest.

Buffy had to look away; she couldn’t take it anymore. But as she got up to leave she noticed a shadow had detached itself from the back of the room and was moving in behind Darla. It was Angelus; he was in game face and looked to be engrossed in the scene before him. Buffy froze and watched.

Darla sensed a presence behind her but didn’t stop moving on the boy’s body, he was very close to orgasm and she wanted to drain him at that moment. She did glance behind her and barely hid her shock at seeing her childe, her very gorgeous, arrogant childe, standing there starting to undo his pants.

"Can I join" Angelus didn’t care whether she said yes or no, the smell of sex, blood and fear was driving him to distraction and no one was going to tell him no. He dropped his pants, positioned himself behind Darla and rammed into her ass. Darla screamed in pain and in pleasure. As the boy finally orgasmed Darla leaned over and tore into the right side of his throat, all the while Angelus was still pounding her from behind. Angelus reached his peak quickly, leaned over Darla to the boy’s left side and tore open the other side of his neck. Angelus and Darla stilled joined drained the life of the boy who’s only mistake was to pick up the pretty blonde in the Catholic school skirt.

Buffy had seen enough, she cautiously got up and moved away from the window, once the mansion was out of sight she leaned over and lost her dinner. Tears were streaming down her face as she took off in full slayer speed to the Library.

**I can’t believe I fantasized about that monster**

**I am so going to kill him, correction kill him and Darla**

She needed to get to the library, not because she had any new clue to why Angelus was here, but she needed to go to the one place she felt safe and loved.

She needed to watch Oz and Willow make goo-goo eyes at each other.

She needed to hear Xander and Cordelia throw verbal insults while trying to desperately hide the attraction both of them obviously still felt for each other.

She needed to see Giles get all stiff and British like when Jenny walked into the room, trying to act OK with the friends only thing Jenny imposed on their relationship when that whole Band Candy thing happened and Jenny had discovered Giles and her mom in a compromising position.

She had to know that love and tenderness and devotion existed someplace out there, because after the animalistic display she just witnessed she was positive that she would never let any man ever get that close to her. Ever.

Part 4:

Back at the Mansion

Angelus lazily adjusted his clothes while watching Darla dispose of the leftovers. Nothing like a good fuck and good food. Darla didn’t flip out when she saw him, but Angelus didn’t let his guard down. He remembered just how vindictive she could be and how deceiving. That blonde bastard learned that lesson the hard way. Luckily for him, he knew her tricks and wouldn’t fall into her trap. No his plans, included Darla falling into his trap and if she got in the way, well he would have to kill her. Just as that thought floated through his mind, a sense of déjà vu washed over him. He shook it off quickly and turned toward Darla.

"Well, if it isn’t the almighty Angelus, what brings you to these parts? Should I be flattered" Darla mockingly batted her eyelashes at him.

"Actually I’m here for the Slayer" Angelus knew he made a tactical error the minute the words left his mouth, he had forgotten Darla’s insane jealously. He watched as her eyes narrowed and she curled her hands into fists, just when he thought she was about to pitch a fit, she seemed to take control of herself and smiled at him. Now he was worried.

"Oh is that all, that little Miss Goody Two Shoes." Darla sneered as she approached him "I would’ve thought you were here for something bigger, say the Hellmouth or the Ascension"

"Ascension?" Angelus didn’t like being the last one to know about something big and this sounded big. "What the hell is an Ascension?"

"Sit yourself down and I’ll tell you a story about Sunnydales political leaders, and humans think we vampires are evil" Darla grabbed Angelus hand and pulled him onto the couch, she then re sat herself in his lap.

"But first I want to hear how you almost opened the Hellmouth, everything to the last detail." Angelus had his own agenda.

"It’s going to take awhile, do I assume you’ll be staying" she playfully ran her fingers through his hair.

"You know it, babe" he pulled her down for a painful kiss, then pushed her away. "Now tell me all about my little blonde slayer, the Hellmouth and this Ascension thing"

Darla pretended not to notice him call the slayer "my slayer", but not much got past her, she would bet that he wasn’t even aware of his slip or the possessive tone of voice he used when he referred to the little bitch. He thinks he can walk in here and take over everything, boy did he have something else coming. Darla’s anger at Angelus had been stewing for decades and now thanks to his own arrogance and an interesting book she picked up along her travels Angelus was finally going to get what was coming to him. Darla knew, she translated the prophecy and knew exactly what was going to happen to Angelus and the slayer. She knew and she wasn’t going to tell him and once it was all over and he suffered the torment of the damned, she will be the one to drive the stake through his heart. No one walked out on her! Besides if the prophecy is right Angelus had to die, his blood was too dangerous and in the wrong hands can be used against her. As for the Ascension, that was still weeks away, she’d deal with that later.

Darla began her story of the last three years in Sunnydale starting with the Harvest.


Part 5:

2 weeks after the Ascension


"I’d like to know who’s cheerios we pee’d in to get this gig!" Xander moved another box into the storage shelves and as he turned banged into Oz, who was hauling yet another box of books. "I mean everyone else on God’s green earth is on summer vacation, except for us! Instead of stuffing down corn dogs in Disneyland, were sucking in dust at the Museum."

"Oh, do stop complaining Xander. If you want to leave that badly then be off with you. Just stop your incessant whining!" Giles punctuated his statement by slamming down his own box of books. His temper was dangerously close to the surface. His books, his precious babies were almost all gone. It was enough to almost bring him to tears.

"OK – everyone let’s take a breather and get our emotions back under control. Xander don’t you dare move any closer to that door." Xander spun around guilty and looked at Jenny.

"Let’s finish moving Giles thing’s into the Museum and then we’ll break for lunch."

The entire gang: Buffy, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Oz, Giles and Jenny finished moving Giles things, what was left of them, into the Museum’s inner office.

While everyone sat around the conference room eating take out, Buffy thought back to Graduation Day and all the changes the Ascension had wrought.

Graduation Day was a nightmare, literally and figuratively speaking, with the arrival of Angelus a few weeks earlier, Buffy was worn ragged fighting the Mayor and Faith plus Angelus and Darla. The only good thing was that the two major evil duos never hooked up against her. If that had happened maybe things wouldn’t have turned out as well as they had.

During Graduation the Mayor had turned into some huge, worm-like demon, Buffy had lured him into the school’s library and trapped him there; once trapped the Demon knew Buffy had won the battle. Just as she moved in for the kill the Mayor-demon self-combusted and hurled himself toward Buffy. Buffy ducked and the demon sailed over her head and landed directly in the Stacks. Needless to say the fire quickly spread and destroyed many of Giles prized volumes and manuscripts; he was inconsolable for days.

Buffy had then gone after Faith, only to find her body behind the school a stake through her heart, her hand was still wrapped around it’s handle. In the end Faith could not live with the evil she had done and ended her own existence.

The slayer to replace Faith was called, her name was Kendra, and Wesley was re-assigned to the new slayer. Giles was given back his position as Buffy’s watcher, and the council pulled a few strings to land him the job of Sunnydale’s Museum curator.

Joyce having been completely overwhelmed by the events of Graduation Day decided to take an impromptu trip to Europe for the summer.

Xander gave up his idea of a summer road trip, mainly because of Cordelia, and decided to study for the entrance exam to Sunnydale University. He decided his vixens needed him more than the open road did, besides he got carsick.

Cordelia decided to stay in Sunnydale for the summer and then move to LA to pursue an acting career. She secretly was waiting for some kind of sign to let her know how to handle her mixed feeling for Xander. Part of her said, *He’s a loser, leave him behind* but another part ached everytime she thought about never seeing him again. She gave herself to September to figure something out.

Buffy and Willow were already accepted into Sunnydale U and were busily making plans to become roommates.

Oz was Oz, where Willow led he followed. He was cool with that.

"Now that we have eaten, let’s go over the information we gathered on Angelus thus far" Giles stood up and went to stand by Jenny. Jenny shifted away from him. Everyone noticed.

To cover up the awkward moment, Willow quickly jumped in.

"Well, so far we figured out that Darla is actually Angelus’s sire, and there somewhat of a couple, but not as couplely as Dru and Spike" Buffy grimaced at the mention of Spike, she violently disliked that vampire.

"…and Jenny and I pulled some very interesting information on the Codex off the net. It seems that Darla was the vampire that attacked and killed the Watcher that last had the book."

"Cordelia, what did Willy have to say" Giles purposely directed his question to Cordelia, Xander rolled his eyes, but for once said nothing.

"He said, let’s see if I remember everything – ok I got it – Angelus, big, bad vamp, blah, blah, blah. Here to kill the slayer, open Hellmouth, blah, blah, blah and, oh yeah, I almost forgot Darla out for revenge, and some prophesy thingie. That’s about it."

"Can you vague that up for us, Cor?" Buffy shook her head at the brunette. Why did they bother?

"It all seems to come back to that prophesy" Buffy directed her next comments at Giles. "Looks like Darla was the last vamp that we know of to have the Codex. We need to search her lair and find that book, until then we have no idea what type of danger Angelus represents."

"It occurs to me in that your now many fights with Angelus, he never brags about his "higher purpose", that’s what the manuscript called this prophesy. He doesn’t strike me as the humble type, if Darla does have the Codex, why doesn’t Angelus know about it? I’m thinking his girlfriend is holding out on him." Oz usually didn’t have much to say, but when he did it was usually very introspective and dead on accurate.

"Oz that’s brilliant" Jenny patted Oz’s shoulder "So now some of Willie’s ramblings about Darla and revenge make sense. She’s planning a double cross."

"But why would she do something like that" Buffy couldn’t understand why Darla would betray Angelus, they looked mighty close only a few short weeks ago. Besides he was so, so. Buffy stopped her traitorous thoughts right there.

"He probably betrayed her with another women" Jenny looked down when she made that comment and missed the pain that flashed across Giles’s face. If he could change his actions he would, but he couldn’t, so he settled for friendship instead of the love that was once so close to being realized.

"Buffy, you and Xander go tonight to the Mansion and try to retrieve that book" Giles wiped his glassed and settled them once again on his face.

"In the meantime, everyone else shall continue to set up our new headquarters." Everyone groaned but headed for the door to get more boxes.

Part 6:

Angelus was worried and being worried put him into a foul mood, but that was nothing new. Since arriving in Sunnydale nothing had worked out precisely the way he planned.

First there was that damn Ascension, he should’ve joined forces with the Mayor and the horny bitch Faith, why did he let Darla talk him out of getting involved. Together they could’ve defeated the slayer and ruled this world, but no he listened to his sire and sat the Ascension out, a stupid mistake he wouldn’t make again.

Then there was that damn slayer. He went out for a kill, she was there. He found leads to opening the Hellmouth, she was there first. He slept… she was there. Awake or asleep she haunted him. For the life or unlife of him he couldn’t figure it out, why did she arouse so many emotions in him. Vampires did not have emotions, dammit! The only course left was to kill her. But before he killed her, he wanted to fuck her, there he finally admitted it to himself, he was one screwed up demon.

And then there was Darla. What was that bitch up to, he had known her long enough to know that whatever it was, it did not bode well for him. It seemed that women constantly had it out for him.

Darla’s behavior had gone from secretive to bizarre. A few weeks ago they arrived back at the mansion before dawn, she had gone to her "private" room, as she usually did when he didn’t want to be bothered with her. Suddenly he heard her yelling and throwing things, when he arrived she was muttering about "it" begin gone, and that the slayer must’ve took "it" and now she had to quickly tie up loose ends. At that point she noticed him standing at the door, and acted like nothing just happened, she never told him what "it" was but since then he had to fight off two different attacks from vampires!

The feeling of foreboding that followed him from New York got stronger, the urge to run was almost overwhelming but Angelus was so sure that nothing and no one would ever take him down. He was about to learn different.

Part 7:

Buffy’s home


"Are you sure Buffy, could Giles be wrong. Not that he has ever been wrong before but maybe this time" Willow sat on the edge of Buffy’s bed hardly able to believe what Buffy was telling her.

"He’s 100% Will, Jenny just finished up the final translation of the curse. She said she’ll need help casting it, she assumed you would help, but she wants you to call Amy and see if she’s free tomorrow night."


"Who would’ve thought that Angelus’s higher purpose would be saving humanity" Buffy could barely take in the ramifications of the prophecy they translated from the Codex.

"I think about all the time we fought and I almost killed him! The one cure to Hellmouth openage."

"You didn’t know Buff, I mean how does a vampire especially a big meanie like Angelus get picked to have special magic blood? Who decides these wacky things anyway?"

"Fate, Will. I believe its something called Fate." Buffy didn’t know what to make of this newfound knowledge. Instead of killing Angelus, Giles had assigned her the task of capturing him before Darla had him killed. She actually had to go save him! Fate seemed to like to play Scrabble with her life.

"So you capture Angelus and Giles, Jenny, Amy and I curse him with his humanity. I didn’t know that was even possible. Xander is going to go ballistic when he hears this one. He really hates Angelus."

"Buff…how do you think Angelus will be, I mean after we curse him?"

"I’m thinking major amounts of torment thrown in with a vast helping of suicideness" Buffy hardened her heart, she would not feel sorry for him, not after all she witnessed him do.

"Oh.. I’m kinda feelin’ bad for him" Willow was already half way to forgiving Angelus everything, and he wasn’t even changed yet. "So did the prophecy say anything else?"

"I got a feeling it did, but Giles was definitely not in total share mode. He said he needed to research further, before jumping to any conclusions. I guess he’ll tell me when he’s ready, since that 18th birthday fiasco he rarely holds back any life and death info on me."

"So when are you going after him?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Angelus’s life is about to change forever" Willow looked troubled.

"I just got the funniest feeling his isn’t the only one. Fate seems to have it out for me."



Next night – Midnight – Burned out Factory


"Anything happening yet?" Xander moved in closer to Buffy trying to look over the balcony of the catwalk they were standing on.

"Not yet, maybe Willie didn’t give Angelus our message. I’m gonna have to beat the crap out of him for that."

"I don’t think he lied to us Buffy, I got the feeling Angelus wasn’t his favorite vamp. Besides, he’s got a big, ol’ thing for you!" Xander loved to tease Buffy about her effect on men, at one point he himself had believed that he was in love with her. But it had taken a tall brunette with a huge attitude to teach him the meaning of love.

"Shush…Someone’s coming."

Angelus strode angrily into the factory. Why the hell did Darla want to meet him here? She had mentioned that this was Spike’s and Druscilla’s old lair, and there was something she had to show him here. He looked around and noticed the remains of burnt dolls. He picked one up.

"Dru, looks like you left behind some of your babies." Angelus threw the doll across the room. "You were never mother material."

**What’s going on here? Where the fuck is Darla?**

"Darla! Come on out honey; if you want to play you don’t have to drag me to some old factory to have your way. I’m easy." Angelus chuckled at his own words. When he received no response, he got angry.

"This is gone on long enough! Where the FUCK are you? I’m not playing your stupid female games!"

"Not exactly the patient type is he?" Xander had been watching Angelus grow increasingly angry, and wondered if their plan would work. "Buff, you sure you can knock him senseless? It looks like he’s got a really hard head."

"Xander listen to me." Xander stood up straighter; Buffy’s voice had gotten tense. She was in full Slayer mode. "We have a change of plans, go outside and back up Giles, Willow & Oz, they’re going to need it. This place is crawling with vamps. Looks like Willie sold us out to Darla."

"You need me more here, I’m not going anywhere!"

"Don’t argue! It’s about to starting raining vampires, go outside and warn Giles! I need you to do this for me." Buffy looked directly into Xander’s eyes, she saw the conflict in them, back her up or warn the others.

"Alright. But once I warn them I’m coming back in."


Angelus’s senses had also picked up the nearby vamps, he assumed they were with Darla. He never assumed that he was their target.

"Angelus, sweetie, fancy meeting you here." Darla purred as she moved into his line of vision.

"What’s with the games Darla, why summon me here?" Angelus was starting to get the strangest feeling.

"Somehow I expected you to be smarter than that, it never crossed your mind that maybe the summons wasn’t from me?" Darla moved in closer, she had her hands behind her back.

"Not from you? Then who? And if it wasn’t from you, why are you here?" Angelus shrugged off his black jacket, for some reason he felt he needed to be battle ready.

"Maybe it was your new obsession? Now don’t look so surprised, I know about your raging hard-on for our Little Miss Schoolgirl Slayer."

Up above them on the walkway Buffy’s eyes widened. Angelus lusted after her!

"I don’t know what your talking about honey, you know you’re the only one. And if you didn’t send me that message what are you doing here?"

"Don’t give me that bullshit. You’ve snowed me for the last time! You’re going to pay Angelus, you’re going to pay for every humiliation you’ve ever dealt me! No one make a fool out of me and walks away!" Darla pulled the crossbow she was hiding behind her back and aimed it Angelus’s heart. "And as to why I’m here, let’s just say I decided to take care of two problems at once."

"Are you crazy, put that thing down!" Angelus warily watched the angry vampire, he knew if he said the wrong thing it was all over for him.

"Crazy? Oh, I’m not crazy, you must have me confused with that black-haired slut Druscilla. But it’s so easy for you to confuse women. Isn’t it Angelus?"

Three of Darla’s minions moved in behind Angelus. It was then that Angelus noticed the vampires stationed all throughout the factory. There was no way of fighting his way of this one. Maybe he could talk his way out.

"I’ve made mistakes in the past, and I’m sorry. Now that I’m with you again I see that you’re the only one…" Darla cut him off.

"LIAR!" She swung the crossbow and hit him across his left cheek. "The only reason I made you was for MY lust, how dare you walk away from me. You were nothing before I made you, prepare to become nothing again. And you want to know what the best part of this is?" She kicked him in the groin sending him to his knees.

"Answer!" She kicked him again.

"What…what is the best part?" Angelus knew he was going to die. She made him, now she was going to kill him.

"The best part is that you’ll never know the full reason why I’m doing this! Bye, sweetie." Darla aimed the crossbow.

"Hate to break up this lover’s spat, but I need to borrow your boyfriend. But you should be used to that by now." Buffy vaulted over the walkway’s guardrail and landed between Angelus and Darla.

She quickly grabbed the crossbow out of Darla’s hands and shot the vamp that was coming in fast on her left.

"Get her. Kill her!" Darla lashed out at her minions. "Don’t let Angelus leave alive!"

Darla launched herself at Buffy and they went flying across the room. Angelus stood up quickly and took on the minions that were now coming at him from all directions.

Buffy landed several punishing blows to Darla’s face, Darla was dazed but not out of the game, she kicked Buffy in the stomach then landed a blow to the back of her head. Buffy fell to her knees and noticed a pipe laying inches from her hand, she grabbed it sprung up and brought the pipe down on Darla’s head. Darla crumbled to the floor and lay there motionless. Buffy looked around and noticed Angelus being overtaken by vamps. She made her way to his side.

*I can’t believe I’m doing this! *

She took a stake that was strapped to her calf and began to even up the odds against Angelus.

Angelus looked up from this battle with two vamps and noticed the slayer battling at his side.

**What the hell was going on? She must want to kill me herself.**

He quickly killed the vamps and focused his attention on the Slayer.

Buffy felt the hard punch to the back of her head and whirled to take on her new attacker. It was Angelus.

"Listen to me! I’m here to help you." She dodged his punches. "I sent the note. I was trying to warn you about Darla! Your only way out of this is to help me not fight me!"

Angelus couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The slayer was trying to help him? Why? He knew she had an ulterior motive but as he looked around he knew she was right, if he fought her along with a dozen vamps, he would lose.

Buffy sighed in relief when Angelus turned and attacked the vamps that were advancing on them from behind. The battle raged on but no more words were spoken. Buffy and Angelus were unbeatable as a team, Darla’s followers were quickly turned to dust, those who were a little smarter made a run for it. When there was none left Buffy and Angelus turned to face each other.

Angelus noticed the armed crossbow on the floor, he stepped on the handle and flipped it up into hands. He pointed it at Buffy’s heart.

"Not that I don’t appreciate the help slayer. But before I kill you, I want to know why you would do it?" Angelus was more that curious at the strange twist the evening had taken.

"I’m here to help you. There are things that you have to know. Come with me, I’ll take you to my watcher, he can explain everything."

Angelus watched as Buffy held her hand out. It was so much like his dream, his finger tightened on the trigger. No way was he going to be led around by the Slayer. He was not a lapdog!

"No thanks, I had just about had enough of trusting women. I’d much rather kill you and eat your insides." Angelus blood lust rose as his words conjured mental images in his mind. Slayer blood! It had been so long since he last had tasted it. His face morphed and he licked his lips.

"Your going to be so sweet, I can’t wait. Bet you’re a virgin too! Maybe after I kill you I’ll take care of that for you. Nothing like a virgin fuck, even if she is dead." Angelus chuckled at Buffy’s horrified expression.

"DUCK!" Angelus’s sudden shout jolted Buffy but she reacted to his orders. She ducked.

Angelus had noticed Darla stirring and had been watching her come up behind Buffy with a pipe in her hand. He was not only going to kill the slayer he was going to send Darla back to the hell that spawned her. She’ll rue the day she made him while she burned in hell!

He pulled the trigger and the bolt found its mark in Darla’s heart. Buffy turned to see Darla collapse to her knees, she looked up into Angelus’ eyes, murmured "Angel?" then exploded into dust.

Too late she remembered Angelus behind her, his arm went around her throat and he squeezed. Tight.

"So how about it slayer, want to have some fun?" He dipped his tongue into her ear.

"Better yet, want to live forever?" Angelus moved toward Buffy’s neck fangs bared.

"I think she might want to go with what’s behind door number three! You – unconscious!"

Angelus turned to see that annoying dark haired boy holding some sort of rifle.

Xander pulled the trigger on his tranquilizer gun, he aimed for Angelus’s back but the needle found its mark in his butt.

Angelus released Buffy and sank to his knees. That little pissant shot him in the butt! He felt himself getting drowsy.

*They’ve drugged me! *

His last thought before his world went black was that things couldn’t get any worse.


Part 8:

"Is everything ready?" Jenny looked to Giles while she finished pouring the ring of salt around Angelus.

"Yes, I believe we can start now." He looked at Willow who was calmly sitting in front of the Orb of Thelusses. Amy was to her right and Jenny took her place to her left.

Giles believed that Willow would have more success contacting the spirits because of her pure belief in forgiveness. He hoped he hadn’t overestimated her skills, this was very powerful magick they were dealing with.

Amy and Jenny started to chant, while Giles waved herbs around the still figure of Angelus. Willow began her incantation. As she neared the end of the spell the Orb began to glow, energy seemed to flow from the Orb to Willow. Her neck snapped back and she began to chant louder.

Buffy, Xander, Cordelia and Oz all watched from the sidelines with wide eyes. Oz was more than a little nervous when Willow appeared to go deep into a trance, but had faith that Giles knew what he was doing.

Willow finished the spell and seemed to wilt. The orb stopped glowing, suddenly Angelus sat up and his eyes shot open, they were glowing a strange red color. The glow faded from his eyes and he too seemed to wilt. He looked cautiously around the room.

**Oh, God where am I?" Where did she bring me? ** The last thing Angelus remembered was following women into the alley behind the pub.

**She BIT ME! She became some sort of monster and bit me! Then she pulled me to her chest and….** His mind could not accept the vision that flashed through his head.

**Who are these people? Why are they looking at me that way? What are they wearing!**

Buffy moved closer to the circle, if the spell didn’t work and Angelus made to attack she wanted to be close by. But as she got closer she saw the way his eyes were darting around the room, he looked scared!

She saw Giles move into the circle and squat down by Angelus.

"Do you know who you are?"

"I’m…I’m Angelus Rourke. Son of Patrick and Caitlan Rourke. Who are you? Where am I?"

"Well, Angelus, my name is Rupert Giles and you are in a factory in a town called Sunnydale."

"I’ve never heard of this providence before, how did I get here. Did that monster bring me here?" Angelus came up on his knees and started to look around nervously. He noticed a blonde standing not too far from him and started to retreat. He then noticed it wasn’t the same blonde and slightly relaxed.

"Sunnydale is in California in the United States of America, and to answer your question on how you got here, give yourself a minute and it’ll all come back to you." Giles never thought he would actually feel remorse for Angelus, but this creature in front of him still thought he was human.

"America! I’ve never heard of…." Suddenly Angelus’s eyes widened as images began flashing through his mind. He watched in his mind’s eye as the demon’s memories played itself out like a horror flick only he could see. He watched himself murder helpless men and women, he watched as he raped his terrified victims before the kill, he watched as he smatched innocent babies against walls and laughed as they died. The onslaught was endless; he grabbed his head and began to scream.

"NO!No! NO! Make it stop! Oh God! Oh God… forgive me!" Angelus got to his feet, Giles tried to restrain him but Angelus knocked him down. His eyes were wild now, he scanned the floor and found a shard of wood, he dove for it.

Buffy had watched as the realization of what he was and what he had done overtook Angel. Despite herself her eyes were damp, no one deserved getting attacked by a vampire, but she hardened her heart against him. She saw him dive for the wood and guessed his intent. She dived onto his back and grabbed his wrist.

Angelus felt the weight pinning him to the floor and knew the slayer had stopped him. Why? Why didn’t she let him end it? She had more reasons than most to hate him.

"Don’t do it, I know things seem hopeless right now, but just hold on. We need you. We changed you for a reason. If you truly feel that bad about what you’ve done, hear us out. Then if you still want to off yourself, be my guest." Buffy knew she sounded heartless but she needed to get through to him, not to coddle him.

Angelus laid there thinking about what she said, what could they possibly need from him? The slayer’s job was to protect humanity, where did he fit in? He decided to hear them out, then he’d ask the slayer to kill him. He was raised Irish Catholic and suicide was a Mortal Sin, he already had enough strikes against him.

"I’ll hear you out, but when you’re through if I still want to die promise me you’ll kill me."

"Fine. Deal." Buffy moved off the vampire and held her hand out to help him up.

Angelus stood with her help and turned to face the group. They were all looking at him with different expressions of fear, distrust and pity. He felt his shoulders sag, never had he felt so defeated.

"Let’s continue this somewhere safer, we’ll meet at the museum in twenty minutes. Angelus why don’t you come with Buffy and I in my car." Giles wanted to keep Angelus away from the others in case this was all a ruse.

Everyone filed out of the factory and into their respective vehicles. Buffy and Giles were behind Angelus, as he passed the pile of ashes that was once Darla he paused. A look of pure hatred crossed his features and he spit, he walked out of the factory and into the night.

Buffy and Giles looked at each other. They were both convinced that their spell had worked. But at what price?

Part 9:

Museum – twenty minutes later.

"Where are they? I hope nothing happened." Willow looked anxiously around; everyone had made it now they were just waiting for Giles, Buffy and Angelus.

"What could possibly happen Will?" Xander’s sarcastic voice echoed in the too quiet room. "The only possibility is that Angelus played us for fools and is currently dining on slayer – watcher al a mode."

"I wouldn’t hurt anyone." Angelus’s voice came from directly behind Xander.

"Don’t do that!" Xander jumped then quickly skittered away to stand by Cordelia.

"My hero – you’re so brave." Cordelia rolled her eyes at Xander’s fear of Angelus. Any idiot could see this wasn’t the same guy. She had been spotting jerks all her life, she knew a good one when she saw one and this new and improved Angelus was definitely good.

"Sorry we took so long, we had to make a stop at the local Blood-To-Go mart." Buffy put down her plastic bags.

Angelus looked down totally humiliated and ashamed of what he was, of what he was now forced to do to eat. It was more humiliating that this girl had to be the one to explain to him his new feeding routine.

During his time as a human he had been a complete womanizer and had been with many beautiful women. But this girl had to be the most beautiful he had ever seen. He silently sneered at himself, here he was confronted with the realization that he was some monster and he was thinking about a girl.

*Some things never change do they Angelus? Once a jerk always a jerk! *

He hated his human self almost as much as his demon self.

"Angelus…" Giles wanted to explain the prophecy as quickly as possible before the vampire fell apart again.

"Call me Angel. My mom use to call me Angel. I never want to hear the name Angelus again." Angel has spoken quietly but everyone heard the raw agony in his voice when he said "mom."

At that moment Willow, Oz, Cordelia & Jenny’s heart softened toward the vampire. The thought that he had had a mother that he obviously loved changed the way they looked at him. Buffy, Xander & Giles’ were touched but their skepticism and outright hatred of Angelus was too far ingrained.

"All right…Angel then, as I was saying, Darla had kept a few things from you, or from your demon…" Giles went on to explain the entire prophecy to Angel.

"So you see your blood has the power to seal the Hellmouth, should it ever open." Giles purposely left out the part that said his blood could also open the Hellmouth, no reason to arm the demon inside Angel with that knowledge.

"So that’s why Darla was trying to kill me." Angel murmured more to himself than anyone else.

"That and the fact that you were a cheating, lying dog." Buffy smiled as she said the words, but her smiled died as she saw Angel close his eyes in pain.

"It wasn’t me." Angel couldn’t look the slayer in the face; everything the demon had ever done to her and in front of her was clear in his mind.

Giles continued "There are still parts of the prophecy that we are still trying to translate, everything is not clear yet. But it is most important that you stay alive. Humanity has always had a slayer, she alone is strong enough to fight and defeat any demon that tries to open the Hellmouth, but if the unthinkable ever happens and the Hellmouth does open humanity would not stand a chance of survival. But now, with you, we have a chance, you have a chance. Not many beings get to make amends for their transgressions here on earth, but you are being offered that chance. It’s your choice now, stay alive and help or die."

Giles hoped he was right and Angel’s rage at his fate would make him want to stay and defeat the very creatures that had made him.

Buffy didn’t realize she was holding her breath. What if he chose to die? She didn’t want to exam why his death would bother her so much. But she couldn’t deny she was sweating out his answer.

Angel scanned the group in front of him. Good, honest people who were trying to make a difference. They were putting their lives on the line every night so the rest of humanity could live in relative peace. He wished he was as strong as these people. Even when he was human, he wasn’t very admirable. As a demon he was evil incarnate. He was weak and his weakness made him scared. He didn’t want to be humanity’s last chance, whenever anyone depended on him, he disappointed them.

Buffy read the answer on his face.

**He wasn’t going to do it! He’s going to ask me to kill him! He can’t do that! **

Buffy rushed over to stand in front of him; she grabbed him by the shirtfront and pushed him back against the wall.

"Listen to me you shit! You probably created your fair share of vamps no way are you taking yourself out of the game and leaving behind your trash for me to clean up! You want to die, fine; I’ll kill you. But, I’ll kill you when we find another way to seal the Hellmouth, until then your stuck here buddy, so suck up and deal. We all get handed crappy fates." Buffy let go over his shirt and grabbed his face; she was using her body to pin him to the wall. "I know it all seems hopeless now, but give it some time. Time is a remarkable thing; things that seem impossible now seem to take care of themselves with time. I should know, I’ve been there." Buffy’s voice had gone soft by the end of her speech; she became aware of his body, hard against her softness. Her lower stomach had started to get this strange tingly feeling and she felt her heart rate increase.

Buffy wondered what all these strange feelings were, she never felt them before, all she knew was that she wanted to keep leaning against his hard body, she had the strangest desire to twitch her hips.

Angel’s arms came up and gently moved the slayer away. He had smelled what was happening to her and his own body was starting to respond. He saw the confusion in her eyes and knew she didn’t suspect what had just happened but if she stayed pressed against him much longer she would feel what was happening to him. He knew that his looks had attracted women for centuries, even though he hadn’t seen his reflections in centuries, he never would have thought that a slayer would respond to him. He never looked at a slayer as a woman before they had always been his nemesis. But even his demon had noticed this particular slayer.

"Uh, Buff…you might want to move away from the Dead Guy." Xander saw something flash between the two and it made him really uncomfortable. Buffy would never fall for a demon! Would she?

Giles felt the tension in the room and sought to defuse it.

"Angel have you made your decision?"

Angel looked into the wide blue eyes staring back at him. Buffy had moved away but she hadn’t gone far.


"Yeah, I guess I’ll give it some time. I have to deal with some things now, but maybe in time I can help. I guess there are some things worth sticking around for." As he spoke he continued to look into Buffy’s eyes, he didn’t miss the relief that flashed briefly in them and something inside of him suddenly felt lighter.

Buffy might have felt relief but no else in the room did, everyone noticed that Angel was still looking deeply into Buffy’s eyes and Buffy was likewise occupied. A very uneasy feeling stole through the group. They hoped that Angel didn’t prove to be as big a threat to Buffy as Angelus was but in a completely different way.



Part 10:

One month later

Buffy stood outside the Bronze looking in through the window, she spotted Willow up by the band talking to Oz. Xander was on the dance floor doing his usual geek dance with, ‘surprise, surprise’, Cordelia. Cordelia was acting like she was trying to get away but Buffy noticed that she was trying not to laugh at Xander’s antics. Besides if she really wanted to get away she could, just like if she really wanted to leave Sunnydale she would have left after Graduation, but lo and behold, Cordelia Chase was still in Sunnydale and dancing with Xander Harris. And people thought she was the screwed up one!

Willow had talked Buffy into coming out tonight. Usually, after patrol she just went home and phoned in her report to Giles. She was getting into her slaying more than ever these days, sometimes that scared her. Lately, after a particularly vicious kill she felt energized like she could take on a dozen more then climb Mt. Everest. She wondered if that was how Faith had felt, invincible, totally in tune with her own body and the forces of nature around her.

She knew all this dedication was starting to concern her friends especially since she didn’t talk about it with them, she felt like they wouldn’t understand. How could they understand the satisfaction of the kill? No normal human would ever understand. Not that she was becoming Psycho Girl or anything, or at least she hoped she wasn’t.

She had phoned in her report to Giles earlier, her watcher asked her all the right questions but she could tell he was distracted. Buffy knew that Giles was taking care of Angel. He would drill the vampire for hours every night on every little vampire mythos. He had also helped the vampire settle into his new lair, though he wouldn’t tell anyone where it was, he decided that Angel was to be used for information only. He wasn’t sure what the heat of battle would bring out in Angel. Between training Buffy everyday and gathering information with Angel every night her watcher was exhausted.

Buffy had offered to research with Angel in his stead, but he firmly rejected the idea. He felt it was best if Angel had no contact with her or any of the others. Buffy knew despite himself Giles was impressed with Angel, he would start at least 5 statements a day with ‘Angel said….’. Nothing excited Giles more than an untapped wealth of demon knowledge. Nothing but Jenny that is.

Buffy had filed away her bizarre reaction to Angel way back in the part of her brain marked "Don’t ever go there! Ever!". She hadn’t seen him in a month and had no desire to, whatever those strange feelings were they were totally gone now. She didn’t hate the vampire, Giles had told her of the torment he was suffering, but she didn’t want to be all chummy with him either.

She sighed and went to walk into the Bronze, then stopped. She really didn’t want to go in there. She looked again at Willow and Oz kissing and Xander, Amy and Cordelia sitting at a table talking, she felt so much older than them. They had such normal lives, well semi-normal anyway, she sometimes envied them so much!

Buffy wondered where all these gloomy thoughts and feelings were coming from. She had come to terms with her destiny a long time age. She didn’t want to be anything but the Slayer. So why did she suddenly feel like something was missing? Why did watching her friends be normal, hormonal teens depress her? She wearily shook head and began walking away from the Bronze.


"Star light, Star bright, grant the wish I wish tonight…. I wish I may, I wish with might…grant the wish I wish tonight." Buffy looked up at the sky while she chanted the old rhyme she barely remembered from her childhood. She didn’t know what possessed her do that. She had decided to cut through the park on her way home, she had sat down on the merry-go-round and was looking up the sky when she spotted the brightest star in the sky. The rhyme had popped out of her mouth before she even finished the thought to say it out loud. She didn’t have an actual wish though; she finished the rhyme and stayed staring at the star.

‘What do I want? What do I want with all my heart?’ Buffy couldn’t see deep inside herself enough to answer that question. She let out a breath and looked down. She stood up to go home.


"Who’s there? I’m not in the mood to play games, or actually I am." Buffy sensed the vampire but had yet to pinpoint its exact location.

"It’s only me." Angel walked out of the shadows hesitantly; he was on his way back from the museum when he spotted Buffy. He knew he should’ve kept on going, but he had stopped to watch her for awhile. Now it was too late to run, she had sensed him. He was almost positive she wouldn’t hurt him, he was an ally now. He hoped his reasoning proved true.

"Me? Who’s me? Oh…Angel, what are you doing out?" Buffy was startled to see Angel, but then her voice grew suspicious.

"Giles tells me you don’t leave your place after midnight. Was he wrong?"

"Things ran late at the museum tonight, I’m on my way back home now." Angel answered defensively. She had no right to interrogate him! He wasn’t doing anything wrong!

"Should I be jealous or just shocked, you and Giles seem pretty tight these days. You get more quality time with him than I do." Buffy knew she was being petty but Giles was like a father to her, she lost one dad she hated to share Giles.

"I’m going to pretend that I don’t know what your insinuating, but if my working with Giles bothers you that much than maybe you should mention it to him." Angel moved to walk past her.

"Oh, you know perfectly well what I’m insinuating! I caught your act with Darla and the poor kid she brought back to the mansion a few months ago. Is that the way you like it?!" Buffy was shocked at herself, she knew she was in a strange mood but this was definitely a darker side of herself. She didn’t like it. She wished she could make it go away, but this side had been growing in her for weeks now.

Angel stopped in his tracks, images of Darla and a blonde boy flashed through his head. He knew now what Buffy suspected him of. The demon was into all kinds of things, but not boys. Angel wasn’t either. A part of Angel wanted to laugh at Buffy’s naivete, she never even suspected a man and a women might want to do it that way. He knew if he laughed, she would kill him. But he was angry, angry at Darla, angry at fate angry at the superior little girl who wanted to rub his nose in his fate. All because she was jealous of her watcher! Angel was suddenly angry that she even had feelings for her watcher.

"Well Buffy, that’s only one way I like it. But why talk about my likes, when I could show you."

Buffy tensed when he started to speak, he sounded so much like Angelus! But when she looked in his eyes, she knew she was dealing with Angel. She saw him coming for her, but she was rooted to the spot. That part of her that she had been trying to tamp down sprung to life.

Angel reached Buffy and was surprised that she didn’t whip out a stake and kill him. Instead she was standing there watching him with…lust? Was it lust that he was seeing? He suddenly didn’t care, all he cared about was touching this blonde girl with big blue eyes and a tiny, perfect body.

Angel wrapped an arm about her waist and lifted her lips level with his, he glanced in her eyes once more to make sure she was willing. She was. He brought his head down and kissed her like a starving man.

‘She tasted so good!’. That was Angel’s last coherent thought.

Buffy couldn’t believe that a vampire could actually kiss like this, his kiss worshiped her mouth, she never felt anything like it before. His tongue began sliding in and out of her mouth and she clutched his shoulders, she opened her mouth wider and began to involuntarily moan. She had to have him, she didn’t care what he was, what she was, or the fact that they were in a public park.

Angel was so hard he was in physical pain, he couldn’t remember ever being turned on this much with just a kiss. He trailed his hand down her throat and slid it over her right breast. He heard her moan louder as she pushed herself further into his hand. Buffy began to walk forward, Angel couldn’t see where she was leading him, but if she chose to lead him to the entrance of hell, at this moment he would happily go. He felt the edge of the merry-go-round behind his knees and sat down; Buffy wasted no time in straddling him.

Angel’s hand landed on her left thigh and began to slide upward under her skirt. Just as he reached her panties he glanced up at her and murmured, "OK?"

"Just do it." Buffy couldn’t get enough of his touch; she didn’t want his consideration just then.

Angel slid his finger under the edge of her panties and found her. She was so wet she soaked his entire hand. He had been with A LOT of women before, but no one had ever felt as good as Buffy did! She began to move her hips and moan into his mouth. He slid in another finger and began to rotate her clit with his thumb.

Buffy felt as thought something inside of her was getting wound tighter and tighter. She was almost afraid of the intense feelings she knew where about to explode. She was getting closer, her stomach and thighs tightened and her vaginal walls tightened around Angel’s fingers.

**Oh, God…Oh, God. Don’t let this ever stop…please..**

Suddenly the explosion came, her body starting to shake and she began clenching rhythmically around Angel’s fingers.

Buffy leaned her forehead on Angel’s neck for a minute, while she catched her breath.

"That was incredible! Where’d you learn to do that? Wait…don’t answer that."

Angel couldn’t help but smile, he knew he shouldn’t be this content so soon after his change. By rights he should be spending every waking moment in torment. But he couldn’t seem to call forth all his guilt at the moment. Buffy was one of those rare people whose presence alone brought happiness to those around her. He felt her lift herself up and thought she was getting off of him. He was wrong.

Buffy wasn’t done yet. She wanted to know what all the girls whispered about in the girl’s bathroom back High School. This could be her only chance and she wasn’t going to walk away from it. She was destined to die young; she wasn’t about to lose this opportunity. She began fumbling with Angel’s belt buckle.

"Are you sure?" Angel didn’t know if this was such a good idea. She had given him enough.

"Stop being such a goody-goody. I’m eighteen years old! I’m sure, I’m positive, I’m 100%!"

"In that case." Angel brushed her hands away and undid his pants. He pushed them down to his knees and positioned her over him. He pushed up her short tank top and began sucking on her right tit. By her comments he assumed she’d done this before, so his hesitation vanished.

Buffy felt Angel lift her slightly and position her over his cock. She was pissed she hadn’t gotten a good look at it. He slid his fingers through her lower lips and opened her up to his invasion. She felt the head of cock start to enter her and panicked slightly.

**He’s too big, this is never going to work!**

"Uh…Angel…stop a minute…" Buffy pulled his head away from her breast. "There’s something you should know…"

"Stop? No, way sweetheart. You wanted it fast, I live to please." Angel thought she was playing some sort of game, he wasn’t in the mood for games. He grabbed her hips and brought her down hard while thrusting his hips up. Buffy screamed. Too late Angel felt himself tearing through the membrane that was her virginity!

Buffy couldn’t believe how much it hurt. Sure she was the slayer but she still felt pain. She felt as though she was impaled on a cold sword. Tears came to her eyes and she buried her face in his shoulder. She wanted to go home now! She had enough; she just wanted this to be over. She tried to get off his lap.

Angel felt tears on his shoulder and mentally cursed himself. He should’ve known, he was 245 years old, he should’ve sensed she was a virgin! But, she didn’t say anything dammit! She came onto him! She acted like she knew what she wanted, how could he be so blind! He was angry at both himself and Buffy. He had enough guilt to deal with, how dare she give him more. He felt her start to move and knew she was trying to leave. He couldn’t let her first time end like this.

"Just give it minute, it won’t hurt so much if you stay still." Angel hoped she didn’t put up a fight.

"Are you sure? This really hurts, why does anybody do this?"

Angel put his hand under her chin and forced her head up he looked into her big, tear-stained eyes and felt a gentleness spread through area where once his human heart used to beat. He kissed her eyes, then her cheeks, his lips moved to hers and he kissed her softly.

"Maybe I can change your opinion. What do you say, let me try?"

Buffy had never heard Angel’s voice be so gentle before, it was low and incredibly sexy, she would let him do anything if he asked in that voice. She hesitantly nodded her head.

Angel smiled and began kissing her in earnest. He trailed his kissed down her throat to her nipple, as alternately sucked her nipples his hand made its way down to where they met. He found her clit and began to trace light circles around it, ever so often he would press down hard then go back to his light petting.

Buffy was once again dragged into the haziness of desire. Her body was on fire, she began tentatively to move her hips and was rewarded by a muffled groan from Angel. She felt Angel’s hands move to her hips and he began moving her up and down on his cock. She clung to his shoulders and held on, that tight, intense feeling was building in her stomach again, but this time she welcomed it.

Angel couldn’t believe how incredible she felt. She was so tight, wet and hot. Nothing had ever felt so good! He could feel her starting to build and knew he was close also, he began thrusting up into her while moving her up and down his body.

Buffy looked down at Angel. His head was thrown back and his eyes were closed. The expression on his face was one of extreme pleasure or pain. She wasn’t sure which one. A sense of power stole through her, that she an eighteen year old schoolgirl could reduce a 245 demon to this! It was more satisfying than rush of satisfaction she got after a slaying. Her body exploded at that thought, then all coherent thoughts fled.

Angel was on edge, her orgasm was milking his body. The contractions of her vaginal walls around his cock were too much. He slammed her down one more time and came. Hard. He felt his face changing and cursed himself, but he couldn’t stop the change.

Buffy looked down at the demon and mentally kicked herself.

**What the fuck have I done!**

She quickly got up and adjusted her clothes. When she turned back to Angel she was relieved to find that he had also fixed his clothes and his face was human again.

"Buffy don’t run off, we should talk." Angel knew he had scared her and he didn’t want her to associate fear with her first time. What the hell was he thinking anyway! He had just screwed an eighteen-year-old girl who happened to be the Slayer! He had almost convinced himself that he and his demon were two separate entities, now he had doubts. How much control did he really have over his evil self? Not much, the last hour proved that. Then another thought struck him, one scarier than the demon still having some control. What if the demon had nothing to do with this, what if this was his human side’s doing? She was only eighteen and a virgin, he should know better.

"Talk? About what? I don’t think there’s anything to talk about…we met up briefly on our way home then went our separate ways. See, there’s nothing to talk about. NOTHING!" She knew she was babbling but couldn’t deal with him right now.

**What if he wants a relationship?** That thought turned her to ice. She couldn’t bear looking up after making love and seeing a demon looming over her. She knew she wasn’t being fair, but she was panicking.

"Oh…Ok…so that’d the way it’s going to be?" Angel knew he shouldn’t feel disappointed or angry. He should be relieved that she was going to pretend it never happened. But he could sense that she was ashamed of what she did, and it angered him. If he had been a normal guy, he knew she would be looking for a wedding dress right about now. But since he was a filthy, creature of the night, he was something to be ashamed of. He knew she had every reason to feel that way. But the part of him that remembered being human so well died a little more when it realized he wasn’t fit to touch a human girl.

"Yeah, that’s the way it has to be. You’re not going to say anything are you? I mean to Giles?" Buffy had her back turned and missed the pain and anger that flashed across his face.

"No, I won’t say anything. I’m not like your little human boys; I don’t need to brag about it. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t been there before." Angel wanted to kick himself when she whirled around at his words pain briefly flared in her eyes, then they went blank. He didn’t know where that last statement came from, but he hated himself for saying it.

"That’s right, you’re an old pro." Buffy stressed the word old. She turned away and began to walk home.

**This never happened, this never happened, this never happened..** She hoped that if she thought it enough it would come true.

Angel watched her go he never expected tonight to end up like this. He had to admit that if he had a chance to change things, he wouldn’t. He thought about the tight feel of her and…he stopped his thoughts there. It was never going to happen again so why torture himself with the memories. But for a brief moment when Buffy was moving on top of him, he had felt alive, really alive and wanted. He didn’t realize until tonight his desire to be loved and accepted.

**Well, that will never happen with Buffy, she made her feelings perfectly clear.**

Angel sighed and turned to walk home. He remembered now what sunshine felt like, it would be a long time before he forgot again.


The museum

2 weeks later

Angel looked at the pile of books still on the table and sighed. When he had offered to help Giles file away some new books that had just been flown in from the council, he had no idea what he was getting himself into. Case after case of books began to arrive and Giles gleefully handed them over to Angel. Angel first had to separate them by category then file them away in the appropriate spot.

It was mind numbing work but he didn’t really mind. It gave him something to do every night. Giles still felt strongly about him not patrolling or helping with anything other than research. Angel tried to assure Giles that he would be Ok in a fight, but didn’t push the issue. He owed Giles and he didn’t want to disappoint him. If Giles ever found out about him and Buffy, he would lose his only friend.

Buffy. He tried not to think about the park a few weeks ago but his mind always seemed to stray to her. Even when he was successful in not thinking about her, she would appear in his dreams. He hadn’t seen her since then; the only way he knew what was going on with her was through Giles. Giles couldn’t help but to go on and on about Buffy, his pride in her was evident. He loved her like a daughter even though he tried to deny it. If he ever did run into her again he would make sure that nothing ever happened.

"I’m telling you Will, Tom and Jerry could kick Ren and Stimpy’s ass any day! Those guys are like the biggest wimps ever."

Xander, Willow, Buffy and Giles all strode into the museum. Angel froze, Giles had been very careful to keep him separated from the group.

"Xander that’s just moronic, Ren and Stimpy use advance animation graphics that would leave Tom and Jerry’s head spinning…oh, Angel, hi!" Willow cut off her argument with Xander when she saw the handsome vampire standing there with a book in his hand.

"I see Giles decided to make a slave outta you! Better you than me buddy!" Xander playfully slapped Angel on the shoulder and sat down. He trusted Giles and if Giles said Angel was OK, then he was OK with Angel. For now anyway.

Buffy froze, she figured Angel would be here but she thought she could keep her cool. At least she hoped she could, since the night in the park she had been plagued with very erotic dreams. She both hated and loved going to sleep at night.

"Angel I hope you don’t mind the disturbance we have a situation and needed a safe place to discuss our course of action." Giles looked at the book in Angel’s hand "Blood Rituals", he noticed Angel putting it in a pile marked "Wicca".

"Shouldn’t that go into your vampire category?"

"No, this book details the wicca’s belief that their powers can be made stronger during their menstrual cycle."

"Yes, well…ah back to the matter at hand. Angel you’re welcome to stay." Giles was extremely uncomfortable with Angel’s explanation, he wondered how the vampire stayed so cool, nothing ever seemed to phase him.

"Will." Xander looked over at his best bud. "Never tell me."

Willow blushed a deep red. Buffy couldn’t help but smile at her best friend’s exchange.

"This Lucius, do you really think he has the arm? It wouldn’t be the first time we got faulty info, are you sure you’re source was right?" Buffy looked at Giles, he had received a very cryptic message about something called The Judge.

Angel’s head snapped up at the mention of Lucius.

"Lucius is here in Sunnydale?" Angel looked at Buffy for confirmation.

"Catch on quick dontcha? Yep, he’s here and he’s looking to assemble some Judge guy. You know him?"

"Knew him, yes, he wont stop until he succeeds. He’s insane."

"So you’re saying what? Other vampires are…sane?" Xander rolled his eyes at Angel.

"Lucius was already criminally insane when he was made, he was serving a lifetime sentence in a mental hospital when…" Angel cut himself off, damn he just dug a hole for himself.

"When…come on…spit it out." Buffy guessed what was coming.

"When I attacked him and changed him into a vampire." There it was out.

Buffy kicked the nearest chair across the room.

"You’ve got to be kidding me! You mean this jerk is one of yours?"

Angel looked at his feet, he couldn’t face her. Now she had even more reason to be ashamed of him.

"I’m sorry."

"Yeah, yeah, you’re sorry. We’ve heard it before." Buffy knew that her anger was uncalled for, Angel didn’t make the vamp, Angelus did, she understood all that. She was inexplicably angry with him.

"This might actually help us Buffy. Don’t be too hard on Angel." Giles didn’t understand why Buffy was so mad. "As far as any vamp in this territory knows Angelus is dead, Angel could find this Lucius and pretend to be Angelus. Since Angelus is his sire, he will undoubtfully tell him his plans for the judge."

"I’ll do whatever I can to help." Angel was more than ready to risk his life; he wanted to prove to these people that he was worthy of their trust.

"Sounds like a bad plan to me. What if when he get there, they know he’s different. Then what? I’ll tell you what you lose your slave labor Giles." Buffy felt panicked about Angel being in danger.

"I can do this Buffy, give me a chance." Angel looked at Buffy silently begging with his eyes.

Unbeknownst to the group Angel had sent the message to Giles. He had been sneaking out and gathering information on the current vampire situation in Sunnydale. He had found out about the Judge but this was the first he was hearing about Lucius.

"What do you say Giles? Do we let him lose his virgin status and let him come along…." Buffy snapped her mouth closed when she realized what she was saying.

"I think we need him Buffy, but if you’re not comfortable with him then he stays behind. I don’t want you to be distracted.

"I’m OK with it." Buffy made sure she kept her gaze away from Angel, for some reason she was excited that he was coming along.

"So what’s the plan G-Man." Xander wondered with Angel involved where that left him. He was usually Buffy’s second in command. He hoped he wasn’t about to get demoted.

"I’ve asked you not to call me that. Buffy, you and Angel go down to the docks, if my source is correct the arm should be arriving tonight. Xander and Willow will stay here and help me look up any information on this Judge."

"I guess I’m demoted." Everyone looked at Xander in confusion.

The docks

"I’m starting to think Giles’s "source" is pulling our leg." Buffy was growing impatient, she wanted action.

"They’ll show I’m positive of that." Angel moved in closer to Buffy. He was standing behind her, they were completely concealed by rows of pallets.

Buffy felt Angel’s chest touch her back and sucked in a sharp breath. She was starting to feel that tingling in her stomach, she unconsciously moved back closer to him. He smelled so good!

Angel heard Buffy’s heart rate increase and looked down at her. She was still facing forward looking out to the docks but she was breathing erratically and her cheeks were flushed. He felt himself grow hard and pressed himself against her buttocks. He knew he shouldn’t start anything, but the knowledge that she wanted him was the most potent aphrodisiac.

He traced her hip with his right hand and pushed her backward to rub against his cock. He heard her strangled gasp, but she made no move to stop him. He brought his hand under her shirt and lightly ran his fingertips against her ribcage. Her heart was thundering, that only turned him on more.

Buffy’s mind screamed for her to stop him, but she was paralyzed against the sensation coursing through her body. He knew exactly how to touch her. She felt his fingers move higher and dip into her bra. He began to massage her breast but he had yet to touch her nipple. She almost snapped at him to touch her, but restrained herself. She kept looking forward but her eyes were no longer focused on the docks ahead of her.

He ran his thumb over her nipple and this time Buffy gasped out loud. He bent down to her neck and started nibbling on the smooth flesh there. While his hand played with her nipple, the other moved down between her legs. Buffy’s legs buckled slightly but Angel rested her more fully against him. He started to manipulate her clit through her pants.

Buffy thought she was going out of her mind, the friction of her clothes rubbing against her was too much. She wanted him to strip her naked and do her right here, right now. She reached an arm up and brought his head down to her. Her lips fused with his and she began stroking her tongue in and out of his mouth, occasionally stopping to bite him.

Angel grinded himself rhythmically against her ass, while he increased the pace of his fingers. He heard her cry out once, and then her whole body began to shake. He placed his arm around her waist for support then softly began kissing her ear.

"You’re so beautiful, you make me feel so alive." He didn’t mean to say anything but the words just seemed to come out.

Buffy leaned back against him, when she heard the softly spoken words a strange feeling of contentment stole over her; she snuggled back further against him. No running away for her tonight, she wanted him, she wasn’t going to deny it any longer. She might not ever be able to have a normal relationship but she could have this. Now she had to figure out a way to make Angel agree to a casual sexual relationship. She figured vampires didn’t have the same type of feelings as humans, so she wouldn’t be hurting him at all by using him just for sex.

Angel was quietly amazed. She wasn’t running or trying to break away from him, maybe she had feelings for him! He hoped so, he definitely was starting to feel some very strong emotions for her. He had never been in love before, even when he was human. He wondered if all of these strange feelings were love. Maybe he should tell her.

"Angel, I don’t know how to bring this up, so I’m just going to come right out and say it." Angel’s eyes widened, did she feel the same way too? He began to smile.

"I think we should get together every so often and do it, I mean no one can know of course, but I’m really physically attracted to you and I think you are to me too. So what do you say? We meet every couple of days?" Buffy winced at her own poorly said words, but how else does someone ask a vampire to have casual sex with them. "It’ll be perfect, no strings attached, for either of us."

Angel felt his happiness slide away, she didn’t care at all for him just his body. What did he expect? Hearts and flowers? He didn’t say anything for minute and noticed how worried she looked. He should laugh at her, tell her that an affair with a schoolgirl didn’t cut it for him, but he wouldn’t, he couldn’t. When it came down to it he rather have something of her than nothing. He was a demon anyway, it was what he deserved.

"Sure. Sounds great. No string attached." Angel let out an unnecessary breath. The self-respect he was starting to regain crumbled to dust.

Buffy looked at him curiously. His voice sounded flat and emotionless. He had said yes, but his body language screamed no. This was every guy’s dream, wasn’t it? She leaned over and kissed him on the lips, he leaned into the kiss but there was no passion in it.

They both sprang apart when they heard footsteps approaching. They snapped back to patrol mode. Buffy noticed particularly ugly vamp holding a big wooden box.

"That must be the arm. Let’s do it." Buffy and Angel sprang into action. Their combined attacked surprised the vamps, just like in the warehouse with Angelus, Buffy and Angel were an unstoppable team. They’re fighting was totally coordinated and in no time all that was left of the vamps were piles of dust.

Buffy hefted the box onto her shoulder.

"One got away. He recognized you, by this time tomorrow it’ll be all over Sunnydale that you’re alive and helping the slayer. You’ll be as hated as I am."

"That’s alright with me. Been wanting to pound on something for months. I hope Giles doesn’t take me off active duty."

"Well if he tries, I’ll have to pound some sense into him. I’ve never had back up like that before, not even with Faith. We make quite a team." Buffy smiled at Angel. She couldn’t believe how complete she felt, when she had looked over and saw him taking out vamps a feeling of pride and awe had washed over her. Here was someone who could face the darkness with her. Someone that she didn’t have to worry about, he could definitely handle whatever the Hellmouth threw at him.

Angel noticed the pride in Buffy’s voice. He vowed then and there no matter what happened between them personally he’d always back her up. He was going to make sure that she never had to go into battle alone again. Where she led, he would gladly follow.

3 months later


Part 11:

Author’s Note: Willow, Buffy, Oz and Xander all are attending Sunnydale U. Cordelia is still in Sunnydale and trying to open her own boutique. Angel and Buffy are still having their secret affair.


"Do you really have to go? Can’t I change your mind?" Angel came up behind Buffy and slipped his arms around her waist.

"Behave yourself. I told you earlier I made plans with Willow to hang out at the Bronze. We haven’t been there since the summer. Besides, you promised to patrol for me." Buffy turned around, grabbed Angel’s face and gave him a quick kiss.

"OK. But I’ll be thinking about you." Angel started to pull on his own clothes. Buffy had finished classes early today and had come over to his apartment. They had spent the whole afternoon in his bed.

Buffy felt overwhelmed with guilt. She was really meeting a fellow student named Riley Finn for coffee at the Student Center. The past 3 months with Angel had been incredible. The vague unhappiness she had been feeling since she was called, as the slayer, had seemed to disappear. Angel was the answer to all her prayers; he was smart, sexy and he could fight alongside of her. When she was with him, she felt complete. Everytime they made love it got better and better, even when they didn’t make love they would stay up for hours and just talk. Buffy knew she was falling irrevocably in love with him. That scared her to death.

She couldn’t love a vampire. He was going to stay young forever and she was going to age. He had committed horrors against humanity, she protected humanity. The more attached she became to Angel, the more she panicked, she needed to do something to assure herself that she was still in control of this relationship. She needed to prove to herself that Angel didn’t mean that much to her. That’s where Riley Finn came in the picture.

Buffy had no plans of ever seeing him again after this one date, he was human after all and she wouldn’t drag him into her world. But she needed to know that she could walk away from her and Angel if she had too. Now if this overwhelming guilt would just go away.

"Hey, you OK? You just spaced out." Angel ran his fingers through Buffy’s hair. He loved her; he loved her wacky vocabulary, her shining spirit, and her vicious fighting techniques. She was the most incredible thing that had ever happened to him. She was his world. The day Buffy Summers no longer walked the earth, would be Angel’s last day. Angel now knew why he was made. He was made to live and die beside Buffy Summers. She was his salvation.

"I’m fine, really, I just need to get back to the dorm to change."

"You look fine. Why do you need to change?"

"What’s with all the questions? You’re not my father." Buffy walked to the door. She knew she just over reacted but she couldn’t help herself.

"Sorry. I wasn’t trying to interrogate you, I just think your beautiful just the way you are." Angel didn’t like the feeling he was starting to get; it reminded him of waiting for Darla in that burned out factory months ago.

Buffy felt tears spring to her eyes and turned towards the door. She knew she had to get out of here before she totally broke down and admitted what she was going to do. He was so kind and gentle with her, and this was how she was going to re-pay him.

"I’ll see you tomorrow OK." Buffy practically ran out of the apartment.

Angel stood staring at the open door, he knew something was going on. But what? What could Buffy be hiding from him? The past 3 months had been terrific; the only dark spot was Buffy’s refusal to let anyone know about their relationship. He didn’t push the issue but he wanted to shout to the world that this bright, beautiful girl was his, it hurt him that Buffy didn’t want to do the same.

He couldn’t blame her though, he was a demon after-all. Tonight she had been tense, when they had made love he had felt desperation in her touch. She had flipped him onto his back and had made love to him quietly and feverently. Afterward he thought he had felt tears on his shoulder. He knew something was bothering her but she wouldn’t talk about it.

He hoped she wasn’t second-guessing their relationship. They had come so far. If he lost Buffy now his life would have no meaning; she was his friend as well as his lover.



The Bronze – later that night

"Hey Willow." Willow jumped at the sound of her name being said and turned to see Angel.

"Angel, hi! Where have you been hiding?" Willow liked the vampire. He had saved her life about a month ago and since then they had formed a somewhat friendship. She often thought that Buffy and Angel would be a perfect couple. She never brought it up though; she knew how Buffy felt about demons.

"Angel, buddy, friend, amigo…need to ask a teensy, weensy favor." Xander had spotted Angel talking to Willow and came over to the table. Oz was playing out of town tonight, Cordelia was engrossed in starting her own business, and Buffy was on a date. Willow and Xander had decided to go out and hang just like the old days.

"I’m not talking to girls for you Xander. I told you I don’t do that sort of thing." Xander had noticed Angel’s effect on women and decided he would be a very advantageous friend to have. Since Cordelia wouldn’t have anything to do with him, maybe he could find a temporary someone, until she came to her senses.

"I’m hurt, I’m destroyed…You would actually accuse me of something so base and… come on Angel only this one time. Please!"

"No. Where’s Buffy?"

"Is something happening? Did you find something on patrol tonight?" Willow didn’t want to disturb Buffy’s date with Riley if it wasn’t something big.

"I saw her earlier and she was acting weird. I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was OK with her." Angel wanted to downplay his interest in Buffy’s well being, he knew the kids had no clue about them.

For the millionth time Willow thought Angel was the perfect guy for Buffy, he was so caring yet so indestructible. But, she guessed it wasn’t meant to be.

"Well, since it’s nothing Hellmouthy let’s not bother her. She hasn’t been on a date, like in forever, even if she totally hates this guy at least she got out for awhile."

Angel didn’t hear what Willow said after she mentioned Buffy was on a date. He froze and a dozen emotions started ripping through his body. Anger, betrayal, rage but most of all grief. She had been using him this whole time for sex while going on real dates with human boys. They got to take her out in public while he only saw her in the middle of the night when she crept into his apartment and bed. Her dirty, little secret.

It had hurt when he had been changed and he remembered the violence and destruction Angelus had done while controlling his body. But this hurt so much more. His soul felt like it was being torn apart. Whatever blood he had in his body slowly drained from his face. He felt tears threaten and knew he had to get out of there before he totally lost control.

Willow and Xander both were looking worriedly at Angel. One minute he was fine and the next he looked well…dead. They knew Angel was technically dead, but he never looked the part. But now, he looked gray and his eyes were completely empty. It was like the person they knew as Angel had left his body.

"Angel? You OK? Did I say something wrong?" Willow reviewed what she had said, she decided that nothing she said had caused this reaction, maybe he felt something evil.

"I’m fine Willow. There’s something going on, I need to give Buffy a message. Do you know where I could find her?" Angel’s voice was totally devoid of emotion.

Xander and Willow exchanged frightened glances, Angel’s voice sounded eerily like a robot’s.

"Why don’t we take you to her, I don’t think Riley would appreciate you bustin’ in on their date." Willow suddenly felt nervous about taking Angel to Buffy. He was OK, she sternly reminded herself. But being a witch she felt the emotions rolling off of him, there was something definitely not right with him.

Angel followed Xander and Willow. During the entire trip he never said a word.


Student Center

Buffy was having a horrible night, no matter how clever or witty Riley tried to be she couldn’t stop thinking about Angel. She glanced around at the other couples laughing and dancing but her thoughts were back in Angel’s apartment. She new she wasn’t being fair to Riley and decided to call it a night. She had tried, she told herself, she had really tried to not love Angel but it was impossible.

‘I love him. I really love him. I would die for him.’

In that moment it all became clear to Buffy. Her time as slayer will be longer than most because she would have Angel by her side. He was made for her, and she was made for him. It no longer mattered that he was a vampire and she a slayer. The aging issue no longer mattered, she knew she would never get to grow old. The time she spent on this earth would be spent with Angel. Buffy would have it no other way.

She felt like kicking herself for wasting these last three months hiding her relationship. Tomorrow she was calling a meeting and telling everyone, including Giles, that her and Angel were a couple. If they didn’t like it, well, tough cookies for them! She knew she had to call a halt to this date right now, she would never lie to or betray Angel again!

"Riley I’m sorry, this just isn’t going to work. You see I’m in love with someone; I just didn’t realize it until now. I know that sounds lame, but it’s the truth." Buffy looked over at the sandy haired jock, hoping she didn’t hurt him.

"It’s OK Buffy. I kind of figured there was someone else, you were a million miles away all night. I’ll walk you back to your dorm. Friends?" Riley stuck out his hand.

"Friends." Buffy shook his hand grateful that he didn’t make scene.

They were half way across campus when Buffy spotted Willow, Xander and Angel! Oh, my god Angel!

Buffy stopped mid stride and Riley did the same, he also had noticed Buffy’s friends walking toward them with another guy.

Buffy’s heart was racing, she began to sweat.

‘He knows I lied! He’s with Willow and he knows I lied! Oh, god, I lost him. I can’t lose him I just found him! What can I say to make this OK? If I were him I’d hate me for the rest of my life. Please let this be a nightmare.’

Buffy was panicking she knew there was nothing she could say to make this better. She was going to beg him to forgive her and hope he was a better person than she could ever be. She felt tears well up in her eyes.

The threesome had finally reached them and stopped. Angel stared at Buffy then stared at Riley. He had hoped that whole way here that Willow had been wrong. But the proof was standing in front of him, he could tell by the way they were walking that they had been heading back to Buffy’s dorm room. Was she sleeping with this guy too? Angel felt his whole world collapse at that thought. Pain like he knew before crashed through him. He wanted to die.

"How could you?" Angel gaze bore directly into Buffy’s eyes.

"Angel let me explain, it’s not what you think. Just give me a chance to explain." Tears began rolling down Buffy’s cheeks, she had never seen so much pain in someone’s eyes before, and she had put it there.

"I trusted you. Oh, I knew you didn’t care the way I did. But I trusted you to at least respect me enough to be honest with me. I guess I don’t deserve respect or honesty."

"That’s not true! I do respect you, I…"

"Can someone please flip back to the beginning of this book! I think I’m jumping in at the end here!" Xander and Willow were totally mystified. What was going on? Angel was saying the craziest thing and Buffy was crying her eyes out. They were acting like a…COUPLE?

"Listen, man. Buffy told me she was involved I was just taking her back to her dorm. Nothing happened." Riley wanted to get out of there fast, Buffy’s boyfriend looked dangerous.

"You were just taking her back to her room? So how many times have you’ve been there?" Angel slowly began to approach Riley, his anger was starting to spin out of control, his voice was low and menacing.

Buffy gasped at Angel’s insinuation. He couldn’t believe that she would sleep with someone else, could he? She noticed him stalking Riley just like a vampire would stalk his next victim.

Buffy stepped in between the two men. She grabbed Angel by the shirt and using her Slayer strength moved him backward away from Riley.

"Riley. Go home." Buffy didn’t turn to look at Riley, she heard his retreating footsteps. She never broke eye contact with Angel.

"I never slept with him, I didn’t have any plans to sleep with him. You are the only one I have ever slept with and the only one I ever want to sleep with. The date was over, I’m sorry I ever agreed to go. I knew half way through it that you are the only man I want to be with. I told Riley I was involved and he was just making sure I got home safely. That’s all that happened. I love you." Buffy was crying at the end of her speech. She had been watching Angel’s eyes looking for that familiar softening. There was none.

Angel pushed her away. He called forth the remaining shreds of his dignity and looked at the girl he loved. The girl who had ripped his heart out and gone dancing on it.

"You know I think I fell in love with you the minute I saw you. Correction the demon fell in love with you, but it’s all the same to you isn’t it Buff?"

Buffy shook her head no, but Angel continued.

"When I first kissed you it was like a life long nightmare was finally coming to an end. There was light at the end of tunnel. You gave me hope. When you actually kissed me back I thought I was the luckiest man on earth. Isn’t that funny, I actually thought I was a man." Angel gave a short bark of laughter. It sounded hollow.

"But I was never a man to you was I Buffy? You looked at me and saw a monster. A monster with a face and body you found appealing. I was good enough to fuck, as long as your friends didn’t know about it, but I was never good enough to go out with in public. I admire you Buffy, I really do, I can’t image what it was like touching something you found so distasteful, no wonder you were so upset early today. Let me make this easy for you, from now on I’ll help you out in any way I can. I’ll fight beside you, research with you and find out any information I can about vamp activity. Other than that, you’re on your own. Forget where my apartment is, you’re not welcome there. Forget anything that ever passed between us. I have."

Angel took once last look at the girl who would hold his heart for eternity and walked away. It took everything in him not to stop and go to her when he heard her start to cry hysterically. She had hurt him more than he ever-imagined possible, he knew she needed him now but he had nothing left to give. She had taken everything he was and turned it to dust.

Willow and Xander had stood by and watched the entire scene. They couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Buffy and Angel were a couple. A secret couple, but a couple. They had apparently been together for awhile and were sleeping together! And if that wasn’t astonishing enough, Angel had just caught Buffy somewhat cheating on him!

Willow was the first to snap out of her musings at the sound of Buffy’s crying.

"Oh Buffy! Are you OK?" Buffy was now kneeling on the floor sobbing into her hands. Willow knelt down next to her and wrapped her arms around her. "Everything is going to be OK, just calm down."

"Will, I majorly blew it! I love him Willow, I really, really love him." Buffy couldn’t talk anymore, her heart was in pieces, Angel would never forgive her. He had an eternity to get over her.

"Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve…done something." Willow’s not sure what she could have done but she was sure she might have been able to prevent this.

"Yeah, Buffy, why didn’t you tell us? We’re friends, we would’ve stuck by you." Xander wasn’t sure if he was OK with Buffy loving a dead guy, but she was a wreck right now and he wanted to be supportive. He read that in a magazine.

"Angel was right. I was too ashamed. I’m the Chosen One and here I was sleeping with the enemy. I felt as if I were betraying everyone, now I’ve betrayed Angel." Buffy started crying again.

"We’ll get you through this Buffy. You stood by us when we screwed up with Oz and Cordelia, now it’s our turn to stand by you." Willow hugged her friend to her.

"Yeah, Buffy and just you wait and see, Angel will be coming around in no time. And if he doesn’t I’ll knock some sense into him." Xander helped Buffy to her feet.

"For the record Buffy, we could never be ashamed of you, you’re our hero." Xander draped an arm around Buffy and Willow encircled her waist. They walked Buffy back to her dorm.


2 weeks later – Museum

"Hi! You ready for my report?" Buffy jumped up on the counter and started to look around.

"He’s gone, if that’s what you’re looking for, he left about an hour ago."

Giles watched the pain cross Buffy’s features. She had told him a few weeks ago about her and Angel’s clandestine affair and of their break up. She stressed that it was all her fault they had gotten involved and that Angel was totally innocent. Giles hadn’t approved but she was in so much pain he didn’t want to add his objections to her misery. Personally, he thought that the vampire was more than a little responsible, after all he was 227 years older than Buffy.

Giles had casually mentioned the relationship, or lack thereof, to Angel a few weeks ago. He had been startled to say the least. Giles was surprised at the amount of pain he saw reflected in Angel’s eyes. At that moment Giles realized that Angel was more human than demon. No demon would ever be able to comprehend or feel the level of misery Angel was currently feeling. He told Angel although he didn’t approve, he did not blame or hate Angel and things would go on as they had been. Angel had looked so pathetically grateful; Giles began to see that he was Angel’s last friend. With his and Buffy’s split, Giles was all the vampire had left.

Buffy had started to come in at night’s to give her reports instead of calling. Giles knew what she was up to but vowed to stay out of their problems. He had no clue what to do in these situations, hence his own miserable personal life. So far, she hadn’t run into Angel.

"I don’t know what or who you are referring to, I’m just your everyday slayer faithfully giving her Watcher her evening report."

"Well, yes, whatever you say. What is your report?" Giles looked expectantly at Buffy.

"Welllll, there were vampires and I killed them. Then there was a lot of walking around, which I didn’t like at all. Can you please talk to my mom about buying me a car?"

"So nothing unusually occurred." Giles ignored Buffy’s last plea.

"Giles, did you happen to see my keys? I think I might have lost…." Angel’s stopped speaking when he saw that Buffy was in the museum office. He had misplaced his keys and had come back to look for them.

"Oh, I wasn’t aware you had company. I’ll look for my keys then leave." He purposely avoided looking directly at Buffy. Since their break up he had been miserable, he knew if he looked at her his resolve to stay away might start to crumble. He made his way to the back where he usually worked.

"Hi Angel." Buffy nervously jumped down from the counter and started toward Angel.

"Hey" Angel quickly made his way back to his workstation. He turned to ask Giles a question but noticed the Watcher had fled to his office and shut the door.

"Maybe I can help you find…" Buffy jumped when Angel spun around to face her.

"I don’t need any help. I’m a vampire not a moron I can find a set of keys. Leave me alone." Angel whirled back around and focused on the desk in front of him, if he looked at her any longer he would give into the impulse to touch her. He heard a choked sound then footsteps quickly retreating. He hung his head, she was gone.

"I’ve trained to be a Watcher all my life, I studied countless demons and closely examined human behavior." Giles had come out of his office in time to see Buffy run from the museum, tears coursing down her cheeks. He had guessed what preceded that event.

Angel stared numbly at the Watcher wondering why Giles was going over his resume now of all times.

"But the one thing that never ceases to amaze me is the unwillingness to forgive the people we cherish most. Most of us forgive just about anything if someone we aren’t close to commits it or someone we don’t know at all. Let’s say for example a vampire whose committed atrocities towards humanity regains his humanity and learns to care about his past actions. The people around him forgive him because they don’t know him that well yet, they decide he’s worth a second chance because he’s genuinely sorry. But if now that same vampire after befriending said people betrays their trust, well those same benevolent souls that once forgave him would condemn him for eternity."

Angel kept his eyes focused on Giles, he knew the Watcher hadn’t totally made his point yet.

"Human nature is a tricky thing at best, some people manage to rise above their own prejudices and hurts to see the greater good, others wallow in their misery and lash out at anyone who get too close. Take for instance a scared 15 year old girl who’s told she alone can save humanity and must give up every hope and dream she ever had. Train her every day to fight and kill demons, drill her incessantly on responsibility and duty and never let her forget that vampires are her enemies."

"Now what do you think would happen if let’s say, for arguments sake, that same girl falls in love with the thing she’s been programmed to hate?" Giles looked at Angel clenching and unclenching his hands. He hoped his speech had made some impact on him.

Angel looked up at Giles with tortured eyes. He knew he was right, Buffy had risen above her own ingrained sense of hate for vampires and fell in love with him but being human she had hit some stumbling blocks.

"When I saw that boy with Buffy I wanted to kill her, correction, I wanted to kill her, him and myself. I never felt pain like that before and it scares me to death that one person can cause me that much pain. I never want to feel that again."

Giles didn’t say anything, he knew Angel was fighting an internal battle.

"But not being with her causes me so much more pain. I feel like I’m damned either way." Angel began to pace the museum.

"What if she feels confused again? What then? Can I go through this all over again?" He looked to Giles.

"Loving someone means trusting them. If you don’t trust Buffy with your heart, then I suggest you never approach her again." Giles held his breath.

"I need her." Angel looked up at the ceiling hoping that someone would miraculously tell him the right thing to do.

"I’m afraid to be hurt again, but I’m more afraid of never holding her again. I’m confused."

"Welcome to humanity Angel. Isn’t it lovely." Giles walked back into the office knowing Angel had to figure this out for himself.


Buffy walked slowly home kicking pebble out of her way as she went, she was in no rush to get back to the dorm she knew Oz was most likely still there with Willow. She didn’t want to see them all happy together.

*Way to screw things up Buff, you hope and pray for someone strong enough to survive in your world and when you get him, what do you do? You cheat on him. Great Buff, I wonder if they give out loser awards? You would be a shoe in for the "Most NOT deserving of a boyfriend" category. *

Buffy sensed a vampire behind her and gave a deep sigh. She was so not in the mood.

"Alright, just hold on, give me a minute to look properly frightened." Buffy turned with a stake in her hand and was stunned to see Angel standing there.

"Is that your frightened face? It looks remarkably like your surprised one." Angel wasn’t sure at what type of reception he would receive after his behavior in the museum.

"It throws them off. What are you doing here?" Buffy felt her heartbeat increase.

*Oh God let him be looking for me…*

"Looking for you. We need to talk." Angel took a step closer to Buffy.

Buffy tensed when he got closer, she briefly closed her eyes and was startled to feel Angel’s hand under her chin slightly lifting her face.

"I love you…"

"Oh God Angel, I love you so much. I’ll never do anything stupid again…" Buffy was so happy she couldn’t control the words tumbling from her mouth.

"Yes you will." Angel cut her off.

"We both will, I’ll make mistakes and hopefully you’ll forgive me. You’ll make mistakes, though not he same one I hope, and I’ll forgive you. It’s all part of being human and being in love. But more important than loving you is I trust you. I trust you with my life and my heart. I know you wouldn’t willingly betray either one."

"I wont Angel. I promise and I’ve been known to keep my promises. I’m sorry for what I did; it just didn’t seem possible for me, the Slayer, to be in love with a vampire. I’ve seen so much Angel. I couldn’t make sense of the fact that the things I hunt are the same as the man I love." Buffy tried to put her feeling in words, she wanted Angel to know that it wasn’t attraction to anyone else that caused her to stray, it was confusion.

"A very wise man pointed that out already. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you out. I was wrong for how I treated you back there.." Angel stopped when Buffy put her fingertips to his lips.

"No more. I love you, you love me and forgive me. Let’s move on from this place Angel."

Angel bent his head and kissed her, Buffy kissed him back with all the passion in her soul.

"This wont be easy." Angel looked deeply into her eyes.

"I know but nothing worth having ever is. Walk me home?"

Angel put his arm around his girlfriend knowing that this was only the beginning of their struggle.


The End

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