Secrets and Friends
Chapter 1:
It had been a little more than a week since Angel’s return. Giles, Willow, Cordy, Oz or least of all Xander knew anything about it...especially Faith. When she and Buffy had first met, she had no idea of their relationship therefore starting out on the wrong foot with the Slayer by belittling what she and Angel had once shared.
Although she had no clue of what she was going to do, Buffy knew she couldn’t hide him forever and she had to do something before he regained his full strength and was ready to venture out on his own again. She knew that it wouldn’t be long. Just two days earlier, Buffy had gone to the mansion to take Angel food and to tell him that she had been dating someone.....that she didn’t know that he would ever be back and how strongly it would affect her if he did, but yet, as she was speaking the words, it sounded more as though she were trying to convince herself, not Angel, that Scott was a great, solid type of guy.
It was clear that Angel didn’t like the idea at all. Although, little did Buffy know, she wouldn’t be dating Scott much longer because it was growing more apparently clear to him that Buffy had other things, much deeper things on her mind than him to worry about, things that he knew he could never understand. It wasn’t that Buffy didn’t care whether or not she was dating Scott, she just felt like maybe she was trying to create something that would never be there. At first she had taken it as just another rejection, but the fact of the matter was that Scott just didn’t belong in Buffy’s world.
Especially since finding out that Angel was back, soul and all, Buffy’s life had been a rollercoaster of emotions that she could never seem to control. She appeared to her friends and family too, to be severely upset, or depressed, however bad that situation might be. Usually it had never taken much to make her laugh, or even to get her to smile when Xander said something witty...but to them, she was nothing short of withdrawn and inattentive. No one knew what to do, but as it was, they were spending another boring and uneventful Saturday night sitting in the library doing research on the latest demonic uproar. Buffy sat at the head of the table doing nothing but staring off into space. She hadn’t even noticed that everyone had stopped what they were doing and were now staring at her. Finally, breaking the silence...
"Are you okay?" Giles asked. "Because, for the past thirty minutes you’ve been staring...into, well, wherever you were at, and we were just wondering if you were still alive...?" Buffy didn’t answer him. Finally taking the initiative to get Buffy alone, Willow spoke.
"Buffy, can I talk to you? About...something...in the other..room, I mean?" Without saying a word, she got up and followed Willow to the girls’ room.
The truth was, she had been off in a whole other place, thinking about the private research she had been doing in her free time. What little of it she had. Out of all the reading she had done, she found out that there was a catch in the happiness curse, and it was just the catch she had been looking for in the first place. It had said that, once the curse had taken effect that if the curs-ee, so-to-speak, were ever to regain their soul again that the curse would no longer be effective. It wasn’t like she was planning on running up to the mansion to hop in bed with Angel, she just wanted to be sure in case the situation ever came up.
Once they were alone, Willow turned around to speak but stopped when she saw a single tear roll down her best friends cheek. "Buffy...are you okay.....I mean, no, you’re not okay and we all know that, but I mean, you’re standing here and you’re crying and ever since you came back, everything’s been different. I mean, I know by now how to tell when something is really wrong and I can tell that you really need to talk to someone and I want you to know that I’ll be here to listen when you decide to talk about........well, whatever it is that’s going on."
Buffy chose that moment to interrupt. It was then that she decided to speak. "Will....?" Buffy said, looking questioningly at her friend. "What am I going to do? My life is a complete mess and as if that’s not bad enough, I’m dragging my friends down with me and....and I mean,....oh God...who am I kidding Will? I try to pretend like there was nothing I could have done to prevent all of this from happening, that I shouldn’t have had to send Angel to hell....but you didn’t see the look on his face. I tried to pretend like nothing happened when Giles asked me to tell him what went on...and I tried to pretend like it didn’t hurt at all seeing him disappear right from in front of me...but I think...well, I just feel like when he left, he took half of me with him."
Buffy had broken down completely by the time she had stopped talking and Willow had no idea what to say. This was the first time her friend had spoken about anything that had happened that night, so she said the first thing that came to her mind...
"I guess that means the restoration spell didn’t work then, huh?"
Just as she started to turn around, Buffy grabbed both of her arms and said, "What did you say? Will, what did you just say??" Willow had no idea why her friend was wigging out on her. "I said, I guess the spell didn’t work..." Willow said. She had barely gotten the words out of her mouth before Buffy stormed out of the restroom.
Not knowing at all what was going on, Willow ran after her, and by the time she caught up, Buffy stormed through the library doors, walked over to the table where Xander was sitting. When Xander turned around, Buffy grabbed him before he could speak and jerked him out of the chair. For some reason that none of them knew, she punched him. No one had stopped her...for two reasons, mainly. One, because she ten times stronger than them and two, because they were all too stunned to move or speak.
"How could you Xander...how could you not tell me that Willow was going to try the spell again, when you knew everything...you knew how I feel about Angel and you let me send him to hell anyway. You didn’t tell me anything. And, ‘Kick his ass’?? Did you come up with that all on your own, or did you have help on that one? How cou........no, how dare you do that to me? You are the most selfish, self-centered jerk I have ever known!" Buffy had finally spoken. And having said what she needed to say, she let him go and turned to leave.
This time it was Giles who spoke..."What’s going on here? I....I...I mean, Buffy...what are you talking about...?"
Buffy turned to look at Giles. "You’re asking me.......what’s going on Giles? Hell, I thought I’d be the one asking all the questions...but I guess I was wrong. I mean, everyone here knew exactly what was going on while I was out murdering my boyfriend and you’re asking ME what’s going on...?!?!" Buffy cried out in total disbelief.
She then turned to face Xander...saying, "Giles, you know...when I was fighting with Angel, I knew it wasn’t my boyfriend, I knew it was Angelus...but you know, I have to be honest and get this off of my chest...right as I was about to kill the demon and set Angel free from the 240 years of hell he’s lived through.....something happened and he was Angel again....my Angel, and I was scared. All I knew was that one minute we’re fighting and the next minute he’s standing in front of me and he’s hugging me and we kissed.....and I told him how much I loved him...." She paused for a moment to glance around at all of her friends then started in again. "How many of you knew...? HOW MANY???" She screamed that last part, crying at the same time, trying to get her point across. All, accept Faith and Giles, sheepishly raised their hands...Faith had not been there before when all of this had gone on. If she had been, she would have known....and well, as for Giles he was being tortured at the time and Buffy knew this.
Chapter 2:
Before they could stop her, Buffy turned and ran....She ran faster than she had ever run before in her life. She didn’t know where she was going or what she was going to do...so she just ran. A while had passed and she eventually ended up going back to the mansion. Once inside she had realized that she had no idea what she was going to tell Angel....she didn’t know if she should tell him everything that had happened back at the school, or if she should tell him what had gone on with her and Scott. She was almost certain that it would make him happy to know that she and Scott had broken up so she decided that that should be the first thing she would tell him. It would also pose as a partial excuse for her turning to him for the comfort. Being in his arms was the only thing she wanted right now...it was the only thing that was keeping her mind off of the sickening news that she had just learned.
Finally, she found herself standing in front of his bedroom door. She didn’t know if he would be there or wandering around the mansion like she had found him doing so many times before. So instead of barging in, she knocked...so softly at first that not even she could hear it. So this time she knocked a little louder. She was thankful when he came and opened the door. He didn’t appear surprised at all to see her, and invited her to come sit on his bed.
Angel could tell that the girl was upset, but wasn’t sure if he should put his arm around her, or if he should just sit next to her and listen to her cry......he decided against both and finally spoke. "Buffy...what happened....why are you crying...talk to me, please..." It was a while before she finally spoke, and when she did.....everything came out. The whole story, everything about her and Scott...everything, especially, about what she had learned from her friends earlier that evening.
"...Angel....just hold me...please. I don’t know what to do. Everything is so screwed up, and nothing has been right since you’ve been gone...since we haven’t been together." It was at that moment that she confessed everything she had ever felt.....and everything she had ever wished for for the two of them. She told him how much she needed him and how much he meant to her. "....and I don’t know why, but ever since you’ve been back, everytime I’m here, I can’t think of anything else except how badly I missed kissing you. No matter what I do, I’m thinking about you," Buffy said.
"Even when I was with Scott, I’m beginning to think I was merely trying to replace something that could never be substituted for. And you have to know, that when I was kissing him, it was your face I was seeing, it was your mouth I was kissing....your lips I was touching. Everything...it was all you. But who could I tell? Everyone thinks that I’m just slowly driving myself crazy and digging myself into a deep depression. Which, I think, I think that’s what I was starting to do until I ended up here tonight. I finally realized that I could never stand being with anyone but you...you’ve given me everything I could ever ask for..you’ve shown me everything I’ll ever need to know. You’ve taught me things that I would never have wanted to learn from anyone but you....." The Slayer said.
As she went on and on, all Angel could do was stay kneeled down in front of her in a dazed frame of mind...hanging on every single word the love of his life had to say. And by the time she had finished, he was crying. No one had ever cared so much about him or at least...they had never said to him, anything remotely close to everything she had just said, and even though he had known it before, he knew now more than ever, that he loved her with everything he had in him, and sadly enough, everything that he had done to her while he was Angelus, came rushing back to him and all he knew to do was apologize.
"I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to hurt you. All those times that I was mean to you about everything that we’ve been though....about your birthday. Buffy, you have to know that everything I said about us after that night, none of it was true.....I would do it all over again and wouldn’t change a thing. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and if it meant losing my soul all over again, it would be worth it. Everything would be worth it." And they kissed...they kissed with a greater passion than either of them had known before and it seemed to go on for what seemed like hours to both of them.
Eventually they had ended up easing themselves back onto the bed. A moment later Buffy had stopped him and looked him in the eyes..."Angel...I’ve loved you from the first time I saw you...I don’t want to be with anyone but you." She paused trying to think of how to word what she was about to say....."You were...you were my first and I want you to be the only one...I don’t ever want to lose you again. I didn’t think I would make it before...and I was close, I was so close to the edge. I almost lost everything and now you’re back and you can’t..I won’t ever let you go away again. You have to promise me. Please..." She looked at him questioningly, trying so had to keep from crying that she couldn’t do anything but cry.
"I’ll never let you go...I promise. I will always be here for you, no matter where I am and I promise you that I will love you for the rest of my life. I never want to let you go...If we could stay here like this for the rest of our lives, I’d be happy...only because I’d be with you." He was looking down at her, smiling, watching her as she lay next to and almost underneath half of his body and they lay there for a moment just taking in and enjoying the sight of each other and again, they kissed...slowly and sweetly this time.
After a few minutes, Angel stopped, raised his head and spoke. "Buffy, we can’t do this..I mean.....with everything that happened last time, I don’t think we should. I would give anything for this to happen, but It’s just that..." He was cut off when the Slayer raised up and silenced him with a kiss.
Quietly, but reassuringly, she spoke. "It’s okay...nothing bad is going to happen, I promise. I made sure. Do you really think I would have let things go this far if I thought we were going to see a repeat of last time do you? Don’t worry...I did some reading, looked some things up on my own and there was a catch in your curse. It said that if you were to regain your soul, the curse would be ineffective."
"You’re serious aren’t you...? I never thought to look that up. How long have you know about...no nevermind that. That means, you’ve been thinking about this, haven’t you?" Angel said. He smiled down at her and before she could say anything else, he kissed her.
Buffy knew what all of this would lead to and she had no intentions of stopping it. She was with the one man that she truly loved with all her heart and soul. They knew everything about each other and yet, with each passing moment they were learning more and more. It had entered her mind several times in the past hour that Angel had never been so open with her. She realized that his trust in her was beginning to grow too.
Unlike her birthday...when she and Angel had made love for the first time...this time, she wasn’t nervous. As a matter of fact she was the complete opposite. The Slayer’s mind was reeling...thinking about all the nights when she had lay awake in her bed thinking about the events that had led to the point in time when Angel had lost his soul. At first she had blamed herself because it was she who had initiated the whole thing in the first place...she held the weight of the blame on her shoulders up to the point where she had found out it was Jenny’s fault that he was cursed with the no-happiness-curse anyway.
Chapter 3:
Eventually they had fallen asleep in each others arms...Buffy remembered thinking that she had never been so happy in her life. They had both woken up periodically at different times...neither of them knew how long they had just stayed in the bed, curled in each other’s arms. Neither of them wanted to get up, but Buffy knew that eventually she would have to because no one knew where she was and no one would even suspect the mansion because none of them knew about Angel’s return. When they looked at the clock, they realized that it was 7:30, the next evening after she had first shown up at his door. Buffy had decided that now was as good a time as any to tell everyone about Angel, but wanted to make sure that it was okay with him first before even going back to the library.
Looking up at him, she spoke. "Angel? How would you feel if I told Giles and everybody that you’re back? I mean, I want them to know now, but unless it’s okay with you, I’m not going to say anything about it. It’s just that, after everything that happened last night, I just feel like I’m setting a double standard for myself because I yelled at them for keeping all of that from me...but for the past few weeks, I’ve been keeping something from them, and I’m beginning to think that I might be just as wrong as I thought they were. You know?...." She paused then started again. "Will you go with me when I leave? I don’t think that I could go down there and face them by myself. Not after my outburst. Besides, they already think I’m crazy as it is and at this point, I’m not even sure they would believe me." She was worried...and scared at the same time even though she knew he wouldn’t say no.
"Are you sure that that’s what you want to do? I mean, no one is going to be happy about this at all. I figure you know that." Angel said. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to go, or that he didn’t want anyone to know...because he would go anywhere with her, all she had to do was ask. But she was hurt and worried and he knew this. That’s why he was asking. "...And from what you’ve told me about Faith, she seems to be a little hot-headed. I just don’t want things to go bad..." He finished.
"Well, at least I know you pay attention to me when I’m talking to you. That’s nice to know. Faith...she’ll probably try to attack you, literally...she’s got a strange temper and I’m not sure she knows how to control it!" Buffy said, sort of laughing and partially worrying about it at the same time. "Anyway, I guess we should probably get cleaned up or something before we go anywhere. I mean, you know...at least put some clothes on...otherwise they all might suspect something or blame me for only God knows what. Xander would, anyway. You know how he is." Angel had sort of a grin on his face and then Buffy noticed that he stopped for some reason...obviously remembering something. "Angel, what’s wrong? Where were you just then?" Buffy asked.
He didn’t know if he should tell her or not about what he has said to Xander that night he had gone into the hospital...suddenly he just decided he would. "Well, honestly, I was remembering when you were sick...in the hospital. I don’t know if they had ever told you or not that I tried to get to you to attack you while you were out of it in the hospital room. And well, Xander saw me come off of the elevator and he cut me off and told me to leave you alone and it pissed me off so I said the first thing that came to mind.....I told him that I knew he was still in love with you and that he was just mad at me because I got there first."
Angel paused for a moment, then went on. "Then I left. That’s about it...It just came to mind because I can’t believe I said that now. I mean, I don’t really care what I say to him most of the time, but what I said wasn’t just about me and him. I feel so bad about all of the things I said to you. It wasn’t me...everything was the exact opposite. I knew that you trusted me with everything that night and most of all your heart....and then the first thing Angelus did was step on it and crush everything. I’m so sorry..." Angel was starting to get a little upset about it, but when he looked down, Buffy had the biggest smile on her face that he had ever seen. He didn’t know what was going on..."What are you smiling about?"
She was trying really hard to keep from laughing..."Angel, you said that? You actually said that to him. You actually seriously told him you got there first?!!" By then, she was laughing and Angel was more confused than before.
"Why do you think that’s so funny? I mean....it was kind of stupid to say, but I never thought it was funny!" Angel said.
The Slayer just shook her head and said, "I don’t know, it just struck me funny that’s all. I promise....I’m sorry, really. You know what? We really should get up and going." He just looked at her..."Are you getting up or not?" She asked.
Finally, climbing up and out of the bed, they got dressed. "So, are you ready to go?" Angel asked. "After all, it’s almost 8:15...do you wanna call and make sure someone’s down at the school first?" Buffy stopped for a minute trying to decide whether or not to call or just show up.
"No..." she finally answered. "We can just walk over there and if they’re not there we’ll just...walk somewhere else until we find somebody. Or whatever...that sound fine?" Angel was quick to comply. I mean, why would he object to it? There wouldn’t be any reason for it.
"Besides," he answered, "I’m just ready to get out of this stuffy old place. I haven’t been outside in weeks, well, except for the courtyard and that still doesn’t count for being outdoors, it’s all walled in and connected to the house...so, ya know. But...anyway. You ready?" She nodded. He leaned down and kissed Buffy lightly on the lips and said, "All right, we’re outta here." And they left...heading down the road towards the school.
Chapter 4:
Along the way, they talked about random things. Not about anything important really, just general conversation to pass the time. They walked hand in hand down the sidewalk and the school was coming into view. Buffy was starting to get a little nervous which wasn’t what she expected really. She was more afraid that her friends would be mad at her. She knew that Giles wouldn’t be happy. He still blamed Angel for Jenny’s death even though he knew that he was Angelus at the time. To be honest she was starting to realize that there was more truth to what she had said about Faith earlier, than she had realized before.
They hadn’t said much in the past ten minutes and Buffy needed to break the silence before her nervousness got any worse. "Angel...?" She said. "What if they’re still mad at you about...things? I mean, I’ll expect it from Xander, but what if everyone gets mad at me for keeping this all secret. I guess if it was me, then I’d probably be mad at me too. But I don’t know if I can handle this anymore. I’ve taken so much crap. Mostly Xander’s...telling me to give it up and get over you, that I was never gonna see you again."
They were at the school and Angel stepped ahead of the Slayer and held the door open for her. She slowed her walking. Decidedly, she was no longer in such a big hurry to get this over with. Normally, it would have only taken a couple minutes to get to the library from the main lobby, but this time, it took well over five. When they got to the library doors she saw them all sitting around the table with their noses buried in the books they were using to look up the usual demonology stuff.
More than likely, Cordy was scanning the books for the pictures like she usually did and driving everyone nuts with her questions. She was never quiet. Buffy and Angel stood at the door for what seemed like forever, when she felt Angel step behind her and slip his arms around her waist. Then he spoke..."Are you okay? You’re sure you want to do this?" She didn’t even answer his question. Before he knew it, she was charging through the doors dragging him by his hand.
Everyone in the room practically jumped out of their chairs when they heard the loud interruption. At first no one said anything and it was Xander (of course) who was the first to speak. "What the hell?" Was all he could say. By then he was out of his chair, followed by Willow, Giles, Cordelia, Faith and Oz.
"Angel, omigod, you’re back...okay...I’m sitting now. This is weird," said Willow. And with that she sat down with an odd and very confused look on her face. The poor girl never knew what to think about anything.
"Buffy, where have you been? We’ve all been worried sick about you," Giles said.
All Buffy could do was look at them and finally she asked, "Are you guys even here? Do you see the person I dragged in here with me or are you just purposely ignoring him?" Surprisingly, all of the sudden Giles threw his book across the room and started coming toward Angel like a man on a mission. When Buffy realized what he was doing, she ran over and cut him off. "Giles.....It’s okay, I swear. He’s Angel...not Angelus. I promise, he’s better," the Slayer said.
"Buffy where have you been...? We’d all like to know. You ran out of here yesterday night and no one knew where you were. Where’d you go?" Xander had spoken up again. Buffy just stood there for a moment looking at all of her friends.
"I stayed with Angel last night." She answered. She had said it quietly and hoped that no one heard her. Then she asked, "And why did I just answer that? It’s no one’s business where I sleep. I thought. Anyway.........." She finished. Looking around the room again, she stopped when she saw the grin on her best friends face. Willow had smiled at what her friend had said.
Oz, Cordy and Faith, none of them had said a word since Buffy and Angel had walked in. But Faith, she had heard all of the horror stories about Angel after he had become Angelus, and she wasn’t happy about this anymore than Giles or Xander. The other point being that she wasn’t as understanding or forgiving as Buffy. She was thinking about attacking Angel too. Not only was being the Slayer her destiny, but she had a vengeance against vampires, all of them. She didn’t care who they were or even who they thought they were. Which alot of times, Buffy had gathered that her literal hate for their species sometimes clouded her judgment and had often almost cost both of them their lives. Faith had also heard the stories about Buffy and Angel’s relationship, which although it wasn’t her place, she didn’t approve of. She knew that a Slayer and her duties did not, well should not, include being in love with a 240 year old vampire. She wanted to help get revenge for her new friends...doing what she thought she had to do.
"Giles, Xander...would you please listen to me. I know you’re both angry with me...but please, do not take this out on him. It was my fault from the beginning. I’m the one who chose to do what I did. And I’ve paid...Angel has paid, for everything. It wasn’t even him. It was the demon." Buffy was getting a little upset.
Angel noticed, so he spoke. "Buffy, it’s okay....I’ll go..." and just as he turned to leave it wasn’t Buffy who came after him. Faith had jumped over the table, stake in hand and was running after him. Just as she had the stake in the air Buffy jumped at her and kicked her feet out from underneath her.
"Are you crazy? You could have killed him!!" Buffy yelled. Hearing her yell, Angel turned and ran to his girlfriend. They were standing there hugging when Willow spoke...
"You guys...maybe we should listen to what they have to say. I mean, sure he did try to kill me, but I’m smart enough to know that, well, it wasn’t really him." Willow looked at Angel then. "Angel, I believe Buffy. I’m glad you’re back. She needs you. She may not say it out loud, but when she talks to me or even glances at me, I can see it in her eyes. All she does, all day, is mope...and at school, well, she never talks anymore...same goes for outside of school. Completely comatose. She’s shut all of us out. But now, in the past ten minutes that you two have been standing here...I’ve never seen her eyes light up so much."
Buffy was standing there with her head hanging down. She was too afraid to look at any of them. Of course, she had realized that she had shut out everyone, but she never thought it had affected them this much. She apologized...her head still hanging, she spoke quietly and everyone was listening. "I’m sorry. I didn’t really realize what I was doing to everyone around me. I knew that I was close to losing it...but didn’t know just how far I had pushed my friends. I don’t know what else to say except, I’m sorry."
She looked directly at Giles then...."Giles, I know that I was wrong to keep this from everyone, but I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t really think of anyone but myself. And last night...me running to Angel for comfort. I didn’t know what else to do. Whenever I’m with him, everything around me just goes away and last night, I wanted it to go away and while I was there with him...it did.....I had no worries." She looked at Angel then and then back to Giles. "He would never hurt any of you. Not intentionally. And well, we know that since he’s back from hell, the happiness curse didn’t stay...I mean...well, nevermind. Anyway, you just don’t have to worry about him losing his soul anytime soon." She hadn’t intended for all of that to come out, but somehow she knew she had to say it because she thought that if they knew the curse wouldn’t be broken, then maybe, just maybe they would give him a second chance.
Chapter 5:
No one really knew what to say. Everyone was stunned at hearing her words.....They had known about the first time, but didn’t expect it again because they all thought that Angel was gone. But it wasn’t really any of their business what she did in her spare time. Finally, she couldn’t take it Anymore. "What are you all staring at? It’s my business what I do in my spare time..."
But she was cut off by Giles saying, "That’s just it Buffy...you don’t have any spare time." and before he could say more, he was cut off by Xander.
"And while you were supposed to be here last night, you ran off to go sleep with your boyfriend, or whatever it is you’re calling him these days...and"
"Xander!" Willow yelled. "What’s wrong with you? Be quiet!" The Slayer couldn’t take it anymore so she turned and ran out of the library. Willow was the first to see her, so she ran after her friend. She finally found her sitting in the Girl’s restroom floor crying. Angel, too, had run out of the room with Willow but hadn’t gone in when they found her in the bathroom...Willow had asked him to wait and give her a minute to talk to her friend alone. When she walked in and saw her friend sitting on the floor with her knees tucked under chin crying, she didn’t say a word, but instead walked over slowly and sat down next to her and grabber her hand.
She sat there for a moment not sure what to say, but it was Buffy who spoke first. "None of this is ever going to change is it? It’s just...Xander will never let me alone will he? I finally get the nerve to tell everyone about Angel...and no one can be happy for me. All anybody can do is yell. And Faith...do you know how mad I am at her? She had no right...no....."
Willow interrupted her before she said anything she might regret, saying "Buffy, I know you’re upset, but you know, Giles isn’t angry with you just because you waited so long. He just feels like you thought you couldn’t come to him." Buffy started to interrupt but Willow stopped her yet again..."But...listen...and Xander, he’ll always care about you. He was worried....and of course, I know he’s overprotective of his friends, but he’s just like everyone else. He was worried. We all were. No one knew where you went." She paused for a moment deciding whether or not to tell her friend what she knew. "And Buffy, can I tell you something without you getting mad at me?"
The Slayer looked at her friend and nodded. "Well," Willow continued. "last night, after we all left the library, well, I didn’t exactly go straight home. I was worried, so I went out looking for you..." Buffy knew where Willow was going with this, but listened anyway as she kept talking..."And well, I don’t know why I thought of it, I just knew that you had been upset about Angel still, so I went up to the mansion..." She stopped for a minute when she saw the shocked look on her friends face and started talking again. "And well, well, I went in and when I saw that there were candles lit to light the place up, I knew someone had to be there so I started looking around and after I didn’t find anyone downstairs, I went upstairs and while I was walking around, I noticed that one of the doors down the main hall was cracked open. All of the others were shut so I walked over there and when I peeked in I saw you
there...with Angel..." She looked at her friend when she saw the embarrassed look on the Slayer’s face. "But I swear, I didn’t see anything...you two were just sitting there and he was holding your hands. And when you started to kiss, I left. I knew you weren’t in any danger...I could just tell. I don’t know how, I just kind of saw it in your eyes. That’s why I believed everything you were saying earlier."
Buffy hugged her best friend then. "Thank you Willow...you’re the best friend I’ve got right now. They’re not gonna talk to me for a while. I mean, I’m sure they’ll be speaking, but they won’t be civil." Buffy said.
"Giles will come around. He knows that it wasn’t Angel....he’s just angry at life right now. But he’ll get past it one of these days." Willow was trying to reason with her.
"I hope so..." was all Buffy could say.
For the next few minutes they just kind of sat there in silence while Buffy calmed down and stopped crying. Willow had completely forgotten about Angel being outside of the bathroom. "Buffy, I’ll be right back okay...hold on just a second. You’ll be okay while I’m gone?" She looked at her questioningly and Buffy nodded. So Willow got up and walked out into the hallway. It took her a minute before she saw Angel. She had just come out of the brightly lit bathroom into a pitch black dark hallway. He was standing in the shadows as usual. "Angel, do you wanna go in and talk to her. I think she’s okay now. I mean, she’s not okay.....but..she’s stopped crying and all...which is good." He nodded and started to go towards the restroom when Willow spoke to him again. "I’m glad you’re back...she really needs you right now." Then she turned and started to walk back towards the library.
Angel just stood there a moment thinking about what Willow had said to him. He needed her too, he’d thought. Thinking about her was what kept him going. With that thought, he walked into the bathroom over to where he saw Buffy curled up against the wall. He had no idea what to say so he just stood in front of her, pulled her to her feet and held her in his arms. They stood there hugging and didn’t say a word.
Chapter 6:
Meanwhile, Willow walked into the library and everyone was still standing up, not saying much, but she could tell that they had been discussing what had just happened. She looked directly at Faith then...."You know, you really did deserve that. What were you thinking? This isn’t your fight. You don’t even know him and he’s never done anything to you. You’ve heard our stories sure, but don’t put your nose into something that you think should be your business!" Willow was getting worked up. The last time she had taken charge like that was when she when she was telling Giles and Angel that they were both pulling Buffy in different directions, which happened just before Buffy and Cordelia had almost been eaten by a giant demon snake. Of course, Giles remembered this when he had heard Willow’s tone while she was talking to Faith...he knew she meant business. Xander had been about to say something but changed his mind rather than having Willow jump on him too.
"Willow," Giles said. "Is she...I mean, Is Buffy okay. I mean, is there anything any of us can do?" Willow turned her head to look at Giles.
"No...I mean, yeah....she’s fine, but if you want to help, then try to understand. Just..." She said looking at Xander, "Just give her a chance to talk. She’s tried to explain once, but was rudely interrupted.." she looked at all of them this time...."and several times, I might add! Would you like me to go get her now, or just leave her alone?" Willow asked. Then Faith got up...
"Go get her Will, both of them, I think I need to apologize." So Willow left then. She walked back down the hall and into the girls room but stopped just inside the door. When she walked in she saw Angel standing with his back to the door and his head leaned down on his girlfriends shoulder. She gathered that he had been standing there holding her friend like that for the past ten minutes, since she’d left them there alone. She started to back up out the door when she heard Buffy speak. She had looked around the side of Angel’s arm to see who had come in.
"Will, it’s okay...what’s up? Is something wrong?" Buffy asked.
Willow shook her head. "No, they...well, they just asked me to come and see if you two would come into the library again for a few minutes. Do you want to? ‘Cause...if not, I’ll just tell them that you were gone when I came in here and that I couldn’t find you anywhere in the school..." Buffy thought about it for a minute, then looked at Angel.
"Do you care if we just go...I need to go let my mother know I’m alive." She asked.
"No, that’s fine with me. Will...you care to lie for us? We’ll drop in tomorrow night or something around 7:30 or whenever." Angel asked Willow.
She nodded then said..."Okay, you two be careful. Promise me." She said. At the same time they both smiled at each other then looked back at Willow.
"We will." They said at the same time.
"Okay, see you guys tomorrow night." Then she was gone. They waited for couple minutes then left.
When Willow got back to the library everyone was expecting Buffy and Angel to be in tow. But when neither of them came in, they all looked at her questioningly. "Well," Willow started. "They’re gone. I don’t know where they went, but when I went back to the bathroom, where I left them, they weren’t there. You guys ran them off!" She had barely finished her sentence when Xander started in.
"What do you mean, ‘they’re gone’? Are you serious, you didn’t see them anywhere? Where could they have gone to" You were only gone for like five minutes! And...." Willow was wishing he would just shut up. So she interrupted him.
"Xander! Again...just be quiet! Forget it okay!"
He tried to start in again, "..but...."
Willow stopped him again, hoping this time it would work. "No! No buts...you see my ‘resolve face’? Don’t make me show you again. They’ll show up later, if not...you know Buffy. She’ll come back tomorrow. She can’t ever stay away for too long." With that, Willow sat down and said, "Let’s just get back to work...we’ll deal with it later." Everyone was kind of shocked to have heard Willow say all of that stuff so they all just kind of sat down and got back to work.
Buffy and Angel were walking down the sidewalk and had just turned down the road that headed towards her house. "Angel...I’m not so sure my mom should know about this right now. I mean...my mother doesn’t know how to except things and this is something that’s going to wig her out completely...and.."
Angel interrupted her mid-sentence. "Buff, it’s okay. I promise, don’t worry about it. I’ll wait outside while you go in and I’ll come through your window." They were holding hands as she started to walk up to her steps. She stopped on the third step where she was level with his eyes.
"I love you..." She said. Then she leaned forward and kissed him lightly before turning and going into the house. When she walked in, she found her mother sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. Her mother hadn’t heard her come in. "Mom..." Buffy said, startling her mother.
"Buffy, where have you been? Why didn’t you call. I thought you were dead somewhere. I even called Mr. Giles and all of your friends. None of them knew where you were...Except that Willow girl. She acted kind of funny, but, she’s always been like that. Oddly enough, she was the only one who was rather reassuring of your whereabouts. She told me that she was sure you were okay, that you always were. But none the less, you’re in trouble for disappearing like that young lady..." Joyce went on and on.
"But mom, I’m okay, see!" She turned around all the way so her mother could see that she was safe and unharmed.
"Just...just go to your room Buffy. We’ll talk about this later!" Joyce pointed towards the stairs.
"Okay, okay...I’m going." Buffy said. Then she turned and headed upstairs. She didn’t understand why her mother always made such a big deal about little things. Sure, she was gone for, like, a day, but she was safe the whole time. (She just didn’t know the whole story!) Buffy thought. As she went into her dark bedroom, she expected to see Angel standing there waiting on her, but when she didn’t, she started to look around the room and all of the sudden she felt someone grab her from behind. She didn’t say a word, but instead, just stood still.
"It took you long enough..." She heard Angels voice whisper in her ear. She turned to look at him and was kind of surprised when he kissed her before she could say anything at all. She hadn’t known him to be majorly aggressive, but as she thought about it, she came to the conclusion that she didn’t really mind it all that much. The kiss seemed to last forever until they finally broke apart. Of course, it was only one of them that ever needed to come up for air. He always seemed to take that into consideration which the girl appreciated, seeing as how his kisses always left her breathless and on the edge.
She didn’t mind this though. The only part that bothered her was that it was always hard to stop. If she was anywhere else, she might not worry so much about where things were going, but the fact of the matter was that they were standing in her bedroom, a dark bedroom for that matter, and they were in her house, her mothers house, which her mother was always in. Had her mother not been home, there’s no telling what would happen. And while they were standing there kissing, again...they fell back onto Buffy’s bed and were there for some time when all of the sudden her mother burst into the room. Angel didn’t even turn to look. He was up and out of the window before Joyce could even see who her daughter was with.
Chapter 7:
"Buffy! What is going on here? Nevermind...I can SEE what’s going on here." Strangely, her mother just turned and started to walk out of her room, but Buffy heard her say..."It’s not enough that I have to worry about my daughter possibly dying everytime she goes out, but now I have to worry about her being promiscuous too!" Buffy just say there for a moment. She hadn’t really cared what her mother had said, she was more worried about where Angel had gone to. She waited until she heard he mother go into her own room and close the door, then she got up and walked over to the window and looked out.
"Angel...are you still here? The coast is clear, you can come back in now." She waited for a moment then went back and sat down on her bed and waited. She let her thoughts drift to different things and was startled when she heard someone coming through her window. She knew it was Angel of course. Who else would be climbing through her window in the middle of the night. But then again, she thought, this IS the hellmouth...anything could happen.
"Man, that was close." Angel said with a smile on his face..."Did she see me? I mean, she saw me, but did she know it was me?" He was worried, she could tell, even though he was smiling.
"No need to worry." She said as she stood up. "Mom was a little shocked that’s all." Buffy said. She was starting to laugh then...
"What’s so funny?" Angel asked.
"Well, when she was leaving the room, my mother was mumbling something about adding to her worries...that now she had to worry about me being promiscuous too!" She leaned her forehead to rest it on her boyfriends chest. Then hugged him. Angel laughed a little at the thought of how she must of sounded when she said that. "See...and now she wonders why I never brought anyone over to the house. Especially you! You would not believe the talk she gave me that night after you told her that we had slept together! She was not a happy camper, needless to say. But afterwards she was kind of cool about it. Just asked me if I was careful then left the room." She kind of just stood there looking up at Angel for a moment.
"That must have been pretty embarrassing for you...I mean, the ‘mom-talk’ thing." He said.
"Angel..." The slayer looked up at him and he noticed the worried look on her face.
"What is it? Are you okay...?" He asked.
"That’s just it...I was thinking, after I said that...the second time...Oh no, Angel. The second time neither of us were thinking and we weren’t careful! What if..." She was interrupted by Angel.
"I’m sorry Buffy...we weren’t thinking..." Then he stopped and a sad look washed over his face. Then he looked down at her..."Buff, I don’t know if Giles told you or not...but vampires, well...I can’t have children. No vampires can." She looked down almost saddened at the thought. He gathered her up in his arms and held her for the longest time. She sat there running the conversation through her mind. He couldn’t have kids...she thought. She didn’t want them if they weren’t his. And adding to the disheartening news, the expectancy of a slayer’s life...it was short. She wouldn’t want to put children through that pressure and pain, especially if they were hers. Angel had been thinking the exact same thing. He wouldn’t want any child to go through the pain of losing a mother or father. He sat there holding her...they seemed to do that alot lately, clinging to each other like it was their last night together. As usual, they fell asleep curled together on her bed.
Chapter 8:
In the morning when Buffy woke up, she was sad, but not surprised to find that Angel had left sometime before dawn to be able to get back to the mansion before sun-up. Slowly she got up out of bed, picked out what she was going to wear that day and as she went to get in the shower, she looked at the clock realizing that she had twenty minutes to get ready and get to school just before the bell would ring. She’d never gotten ready so fast in her life. By the time she got to school she had five minutes to spare before classes started and decided on going to class anyway instead of running the risk of bumping into her friends and having to answer question after question. All day she avoided her friends and just before 7th period decided that if she stayed through study hall, she would have no way of getting around Giles, so she left.
She had decided to just go up to the mansion to check on Angel. Skipping classes had become a regular thing for the Slayer here recently, which was probably why she was so behind and required tutoring help from her best friend. She didn’t think about much during her walk from school . When she finally got to the mansion, Buffy went right in, just as she did at her own house. After some unnecessary looking around, she found Angel asleep in his room. She decided against waking him and sat there on the floor leaning on the bed, just watching him sleep. She noticed, thankfully, that his sleep was much less fitful. Much less than it had been at first. He seemed, not, to be sleeping soundly. A small smile crept on his face...at first she was afraid she had awaken him but realized he must be dreaming. Something good she was sure.
She hadn’t been paying attention to just how long she had been sitting there, so when she looked at her watch she realized it was almost 5:30. Angel would be waking up soon so she thought she’d go downstairs and sit by the fire for a while until he got up. While she was sitting there she was thinking about alot of things. The first thing to cross her mind was what she was going to tell her mom...But when she called, she found out that her mother was still at the Gallery and would probably be working really late, which Buffy wasn’t complaining because it worked out just fine for her too and she wouldn’t have to make up another long drawn out explanation as to why she hadn’t come straight home after school.
Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by a loud noise that came from upstairs. Slowly she got up, creeping up the staircase as gently as possible. She wasn’t sure of the exact location of the loud thump, but figured she’d better check Angel’s room first. And when she walked up to the door and looked in...she saw Angel sitting on the floor next to the bed rubbing the back of his head. "Angel, what happened?" The Slayer asked. "Are you okay?" He just looked at her for a minute then erupted into laughter.
"Well," he tried to explain. "I don’t know really. One minute I was sleeping and the next minute I’m sitting in the floor rubbing my head." He was still laughing, but she didn’t understand and had a confused look on her face. Angel noticed this..."Well, I’m thinking...." He looked around and back up at the bed. "I’m thinking that, while I was sleeping....I rolled off of the bed and hit my head on the floor." He finished. And when he did...half smiling and half concerned she knelt down next to him and hugged him, lightly touching the back of his head.
"Omigod, are you sure you’re okay?!! I’m sorry, I’m not trying to laugh, it’s just...you rolled off the bed!??"
Although he hadn’t thought about it before, he was curious now.
"What are you doing here any.....nevermind, I mean, that didn’t come out right. Let me rephrase that. How long have you been here?"
"Well, lemme think...I left school after 6th, walked up here and I’ve been here ever since." Buffy answered.
"You’re serious...you’ve been here that long? That’s like four and a half hours. Why didn’t you wake me up or something?" Angel asked.
"I was enjoying watching you sleep...you look so cute while you’re asleep. Ten times better when you’re awake, but cute when you sleep." She answered. He watched her for a moment then spoke again...
"You should see you while you’re asleep. You’re not that bad yourself." He said smiling.
"Oh really...." She said, scooting over until their faces were just inches apart. "And just how would you know that mister? Huh?" She said teasingly while she looked him in the eyes.
"I’ve spent many nights just watching you sleep. It’s something I could do forever. You always look so peaceful when you sleep. No worries..." He trailed off....slowly, brushing his hand down her cheek, cupping her chin. "....nothing at all, but the tiny smile you always seem to have while you’re asleep..." he leaned in and closed the gap, kissing her before she had the chance to speak. It didn’t last very long. They were interrupted by the sound of Angel’s alarm clock going off. Evidently he had set it for 6:00 so he would have time to get up, clean up and go get Buffy before they had to be at the library. Now all he had to do was get ready.
They sat there leaned against the bed for the next thirty minutes just laughing and talking about different things. Eventually he had to get up and get dressed. It didn’t take him long to pick out the usual....black leather pants, while long sleeve button up dress shirt and the black duster. Buffy thought, it didn’t matter what he wore, he looked good. It had only taken him ten minutes to get the outfit picked out, put on, and fix his hair. There wasn’t much he could do with it. It’s not like he could see it anyway. He hadn’t been able to see his reflection for years now. When he’d first become a vampire, it had been an annoyance to him because he would find himself glancing into mirrors, forgetting that it did him no good. Sometimes it upset him, but mostly he got annoyed.
Chapter 9:
It was almost 7:00 when they had left the house. It would take them nearly half an hour to walk to the school from the mansion. Plus, they didn’t want to have to run all the way there. They were quiet and few words were said. Neither of them knew just what to expect or what they were going to say. Angel knew full well that Giles was sure to blame him more than Buffy for their mysterious disappearance the night before. Even though he and Giles had gotten along, Giles had always believed that Buffy let herself be sidetracked from her duties a little more than she should have.
Before they knew it they had arrived at the school, and both were increasingly nervous. When they went in and reached the library...this time Buffy didn’t pause at the door, mostly because she was afraid she’d chicken out, but she walked right in. "Okay, just give me a minute and I...we can explain everything." Slowly the whole group looked up from whatever they were doing and looked directly at her. And just as she had asked...no one said a word, just looked at her questioningly as if telling her to spill it. "Okay, look, I don’t really know where to begin, so if I jump around a little, when I’m finished ask questions."
She proceeded to tell them the story, starting from when she had gone up to the mansion and left her ring on the floor and said goodbye..."and well, when I ran out of here Saturday night, I didn’t know exactly where I was going and so I went up to the mansion because I needed someone to talk to and he was the first person that came to mind. I mean, you see what I’m trying to tell you...before I sent him to hell, you know that I knew better than to fall for any trick Angelus would try to pull. Why would I start now? I didn’t just go natural blonde overnight." She said jokingly. "But when it comes to Angel...I know he’s not a particular strong point, but I’m not dumb enough to just turn to him because I felt like it. He’s Angel now, and he’s part of me. He always will be."
She looked at each of them individually then...."Do you guys know what it’s like to love someone so much it hurts?" They all looked down, nodding their heads slightly, then she went on. "Because if you do, then you know what it’s like to forgive someone. Angelus did some really bad things...mostly in the name of getting to me and he was close. Damn close...but the hope I was hanging on with, it held, and now he’s back. He was a friend to all of you and helped you when I wasn’t around to help sometimes, and now you wanna turn your back?!! In my opinion that’s way harsh and it sucks. He would never do something like that to any of you and you know it."
Buffy got quiet for a minute and when she turned to look at Angel, she noticed that he seemed embarrassed having her talk about him like he wasn’t there. He was just staring off into different directions not wanting to catch someone’s eye. "Angel...?" Faith said. She was the first to speak up. "I just want to apologize for yesterday. All of that was really none of my business and I was way out of line. I looked at the whole situation as a possible threat and I acted on my instincts, which mind you, still needs a little work, but I know that now. And ‘B’s right....I don’t know you. But the way I see it, any friend of hers, should be a friend a mine." She finished.
"Buffy," Giles said. "There’s something I’m still not understanding. Why didn’t you tell us that Angel got out of hell? I understand everything you’ve told us, but you still haven’t told us why you’ve kept me and everyone else in the dark. Did you really feel like you couldn’t come to us? He finished.
"That’s just it. Everything that has happened in the past three days is exactly why I was afraid to tell you guys. Everyone wigged out on me, didn’t give me a chance to explain and it only made me want to hide him even more. It was so bad that even Angel was unsure of us coming down here. He was afraid that the same things was going to happen again today. And I don’t blame him. Everyone already has their opinion about the situation even though you’re all saying you’ll listen.....and you’re not!" Buffy said.
Chapter 10:
She didn’t know what she could say that would get there attention. She thought that they would have figured by now that if he was going to hurt them or lash out at them in any way, he would have done that by now. But everything in their vision was so clouded that she wasn’t sure whether or not they could see at all. "Buffy," Giles said. He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. "We believe that he’s not going to hurt any of us, or I would think something would have happened already. Especially to you, I mean...apparently in the great deal of...of time that you two have..have been spending together, nothing bad has come of it." He said.
"So, I guess it’s safe to say that we can trust him right?" Faith asked. "Because, it’s cool with me and all, ‘cause hey, we just met. It’s kinda like a clean-slate so-to-speak. Ya know?!" Faith walked over to where Angel was standing and stuck out her hand. Everyone was looking at them. Sometimes it was hard to believe anything she said. But Angel took her hand and shook it.
"It’s nice to meet you." Was all Angel said. He probably would have said more except for the fact that he wasn’t sure of what else to say. "I’ve heard alot about you, from Buffy, that is...." He said, kind of nodding his head towards the other Slayer. "She says you’re good..."
Faith looked over at Buffy..."That true ‘B’?" She asked. "You really think I’m good?"
"Yeah, but I’m thinking about changing my mind unless you stop calling me that!" Buffy said.
"Alright, alright. Chill out....sorry." Faith said. "But thanks, I appreciate it."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah, whatever!! You can all be as friendly as you want with him, but I still don’t trust deadboy over there, and...." Xander was saying.
"Oh Xander, just shut up!" Cordelia said. It was the first time she had said anything and thankfully it was to take up for Angel. Then she looked over to where Angel and Buffy were standing. "Angel...good to have you back. For Buffy’s sake mostly..." She said. Everyone turned their heads to look at her. She actually sounded concerned for someone else’s well-being, other than her own. She looked back at them with a confused look on her face. "What? I can’t be concerned too? Geez get a grip!" She rolled her eyes as usual then she went back to whatever she had been doing before. Everyone just shook their heads.
"Angel-man...I didn’t really get a chance to know you but if you’re stickin’ ‘round, I’m sure we’ll get along." Oz said. He was always straight forward and to the point.
"Thanks. I’m sure we’ll get along fine." Angel said. He wasn’t used to the attention and was getting a little nervous. Everyone but Buffy and Angel and Willow had sat back down.
Willow walked over to her friend and hugged her. While they were hugging Willow said something low enough so no one else would hear it. "I’m really happy for you. See, I told you it would turn out okay." Then she let go of her and smiled at the Slayer. Buffy just smiled back.
"Thanks Will. You’re the best friend anyone could ask for." She said still smiling. Then she thought. She had the perfect idea. Turning to look at Angel. "Can I talk to you alone?" He nodded. She turned to look at her friends. "Would you all please excuse us for a minute?" They looked at her questioningly. "I promise, we won’t run off this time." Then they walked out of the library.
"What’s the matter?" Angel asked.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just thinking, when we go back to my house, I was going to ask you if you cared if I invited everybody over to watch t.v.? I mean, I know it’s my house and all, but if it’ll make you uncomfortable then I won’t. I just thought it might be good for everybody, ya know." Buffy asked.
"You’re sure that’s what you want to do? Fine with me....if they all agree to it, I mean." Angel said.
"Great, I know they will." She said. And with that they walked back into the library. Everyone was sitting down again, but she could tell that everyone was getting ready to leave. All the books were put away and Giles was locking up his office.
"So..." Buffy spoke. "I was wondering. Since we’re all leaving and it’s almost 8:00, if you guys wanna come over to my house with me and Angel to watch t.v. or something. And Dawson’s Creek is coming on in about ten minutes. We could make it to my house just before it comes on." She looked at Cordelia. "Cordy, I know you. You never miss it! What do you say?" They all looked at each other for a minute.
"Yeah, we’re there." They all said at the same time. After they had all said bye to Giles, they left the school. Xander and Cordy drove in her car and everybody else piled into Oz’s van. When they got to Buffy’s house, they found out that her mom still wasn’t home. I was almost five ‘til 8:00 by then. After they got in the house, they all ran into the kitchen, grabbed cokes and other stuff to munch on then followed Buffy and Angel up to her room.
Once they were in her room, Buffy turned the t.v. on and they had just missed the beginning of the show. Dawson was on the phone with Joey. He was asking her to come over. "Yeah, Joey, come on....we’ll have fun. I was thinking we could watch this new t.v. show that I heard about. It’s supposed to be about some stupid Vampire Slayer or something. Yeah, I know that’s cheesy, but it’ll still be fun...we can laugh at it.....great...see ya in a minute then!" Everyone in the room kind of just sat there. They all just slowly one by one turned to look at each other.
All of the sudden they all shook their heads. "NAH.....!!!" They all said at the same time. They sat there laughing and watching the show until they all had to go home. Eventually Buffy and Angel were alone again. It was almost 10:30 and her mom had called to say she’d be home at 11:00. They sat there in her room talking and every now and then, kissing, until they heard Buffy’s mother come in. They heard her coming up the stairs so Angel ran to hide in the closet while Buffy tried to act like she had been in bed. They said their goodnights and when she heard her mothers bedroom door close, Angel came out and sat on the end of her bed. He sat there holding his girlfriend until she fell asleep in his arms. Eventually he tucked her into her bed and sat there watching her until it was time for him to leave. All in all, he thought, everything was going to be alright.
Chapter 11:
It had been a month since the night when everyone had come over to Buffy’s house to watch TV. Things within the group had seemed to be much better now that things were out in the open. Of course, there would still be tension and times when awkward moments would arise, but it didn’t take much time to get past them like it had before.
Although she wasn’t quite back to her normal self, Buffy was finally laughing and smiling with her friends again. At the moment, everyone was sitting in the library, again. Giles had gone down the hall to speak with another teacher so they all took the opportunity to take another quick break from reading.
"So...guys, what are we doin tonight?" Xander asked. "Quick patrol, swing by the Bronze...what’s the plan?"
"The ‘plan’ is...Xander...me and Faith are gonna do a quick patrol through the cemetery and we’ll meet you guys at the Bronze later tonight. Mom’s doing the ‘mom-thing’ again, so I have to be in by eleven. Great, huh!" Buffy said, rolling her eyes." I hate it when she does the ‘mom-thing’, she starts to act like Giles, only worse. No slack at all! Besides, Giles doesn’t think much will be going on tonight anyway. Must mean something big is headed the Hellmouth way!"
They all rolled their eyes, knowing just how much truth was in those last two sentences. They never knew what to expect next. Of course, there were times when they just happen to come across a prophecy or two before it happened, but they were always prepared to handle certain things when it came right down to it.
"That appears to be very true, for the most part Buffy. Something big is coming, I just don’t have all the details quite yet." Giles said. None of them had heard him come back into the library and it startled them all when he had spoken." It’s actually rather confusing. I’ll let you all know when I have all the information. It’s quite all right if you’re all ready to leave. I’ll see you later."
Everyone said their good-byes and goodnights to Giles then headed outside. For the most part they were all standing around discussing their plans. Mostly stalling and killing time before Buffy and Faith had to patrol.
"So, we’ll meet you guys at the Bronze, in let’s say...an hour. That should be enough time for us to run through a couple graveyards.....Anyway, we’ll see you guys later!" Buffy said as she and Faith were turning to leave.
The walk to the cemetery was unusually quiet and so far they hadn’t been jumped by any vampires what-so-ever. On any other night they would have at least staked three by now, but so far all was quiet.
"Buff...you just hear that?" Faith asked, looking around to see who, or what, was there.
"Yeah, if I heard what you heard...we got company." Buffy whispered. Just as she turned around she ran headfirst into a very broad yet familiar set of shoulders. When she looked up, she was more relieved than aggravated. ‘Angel, my God, you gave us both a heart attack. Don’t do that!"
"Sorry. Didn’t mean to sneak up like that. I just didn’t want to make a lot of noise in case there was anyone else around or something. I was out, so I thought I’d walk this way... see what you were up to." Angel said. "No surprises yet? You definitely don’t look like you’ve seen any action. I mean, tonight...nevermind." He said, shaking his head. They had both heard Faith laugh, although she tried to stifle it. By then they had started walking again.
"So, are you gonna go to the Bronze with me? We’re meeting the gang there. You should go..." Buffy said. She turned around and was walking backwards talking to Angel....she put her arms around his neck to stop him from walking. "And we could dance...it could be fun." She finished in a low voice. Faith had gone a few feet ahead, so it wasn’t like she was worrying whether or not she could hear them talking, she just didn’t want to be too loud.
"Umm Buffy, you should probably give Faith a hand over there..." Angel said.
When she turned around she saw that faith was surrounded by three vampires. She was too far away to make out what snide remarks they were throwing at each other, but she was close enough to hear Faith yell at her.
"Yo, B, care to help me out? Looks like we got some wise guys on our hands!" Faith said.
Buffy, always up for a good fight, walked over. "Faith, is there a problem?" She said sarcastically. "Looks to me like these guys were just about to leave. How bout you? Think it’s time they hit the road?"
Faith looked around at the three vamps. "Why not...? I didn’t think they were that cute anyway!" Finally, they started fighting. Buffy seemed to be having a bit of a problem with the two smaller of the three, so she yelled at Angel for help.
As Angel was walking over he was shaking his head. "Ladies? Are these guys bothering you?" he said. Then, he looked over at the three they were still fighting. "Guys, didn’t your mothers ever teach you not to hit women? You need to learn some manners. I think we might be able to help you out in that department." As he finished, he jumped forward and grabbed one of the vamps. It didn’t take long before the young vampire slipped up and when he did, Angel dusted him. At about the same time, the two girls staked the others that they had been fighting.
"Well, that was fun!" Buffy said, rolling her eyes. Both of the Slayers stood there for a moment wiping themselves free of the dust from the exploded vampires.
"No kidding...you know, I’ve met some smart ass vamps in my time, but these guys were really dishing it out tonight. Said something about how we’d all get what was coming to us, something about the spawn of hell ending us all." Faith said shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "You know, they can never just show up and die. They’ve always got some wise-ass remarks to make."
"Yeah...sure" Buffy said. For some reason, that didn’t go unnoticed, she was speaking in a monotone voice, flat, dull, and no emotion at all was present on her face.
"Everything okay? You look like you saw a ghost..." Angel said. But before he could say anymore he was cut off.
"It may be more than just a remark. I mean, think about it, it’s been more than dull around here for once. No vampire activity at all, until tonight. We’ve been lucky to get at least one a night for the past three days and all of the sudden, Faith gets jumped by three vamps at once. It may be what Giles was talking about..." Buffy said.
"Buff, what are you thinking? What’s this got to do with anything? Yeah, it doesn’t make sense," Angel said, "but what would it have to do with anything Giles found?"
"Maybe we should check back in with Giles, B. I think it’ll be okay, for now, around here...you think?" Faith asked.
"Let’s go." The other Slayer said. "Maybe he has more info than he did when we left. If so, and if this ties in with his stuff, maybe it’ll help." She said...trying to reassure herself that it had nothing to do with her. She prayed that this one had nothing to do with her.
On the way back to the library they didn’t do much talking at all. The walk back to the school was going to be at least fifteen minutes. Angel walked with his arm placed protectively around his girlfriends shoulder. Ever since they had left the cemetery she hadn’t said a word, much less even looked any direction other than straight ahead. He didn’t have any clue as to what was wrong and had no idea of what to say. There were alot of times when he wasn’t sure of what to say and the times when he did ask, it never came out right. In the time Angel was walking along thinking about all of this, when he stopped, he realized they were just outside of the school. When they got inside, Faith went on to the library, but Angel stopped.
"Buffy...as well as I like to think I know you, I never know how to tell what’s wrong. I can never read your expressions quite right and when something’s wrong, unless you come right out and tell me...I never know what to say. Like on the way here, for example. You didn’t turn your head once. I was actually surprised the one time I saw you blink. One thing I have learned is that, well, being a vampire I can sense fear. You were scared. When Faith was talking about those creeps, you were scared. What’s going on Buffy? You’ve got to talk to me..." Angel said.
"What do you want me to say? I just get so tired of the same routine. I can’t even have a break for one night, and now this. There’s no telling what’s going to happen this week. I’m gonna go in there, Giles is gonna tell us about the brush with death were about to have, then I’ll be thinking, well, me and Faith are going to save the world again. Blah, blah, blah. It’s always the same. Don’t you ever get tired? Of all of this?" Buffy finished.
"Don’t have time to get tired. Sometimes I wish that I was like everyone else...that I didn’t have to be who I am....but...." Angel said.
"But if you were like everyone else, then you wouldn’t be you and then we wouldn’t be here together, talking. We wouldn’t be in a relationship...we wouldn’t be us..." Buffy said, trailing off. She didn’t want to think about what life was like without him. She knew the pain all too well, and even though he was here now, she could never get past the fear...afraid that, at any given moment, he could be gone again. It had been almost three months now that they had been back together, but the insecurities were always there.
"Hey, don’t talk like that. We may not be together every day, every minute...but I’m always here. I’m not going anywhere, that is, unless you ask me to." Angel said. He was trying to calm the girl down long enough to get her to the library. It never took much for her to work herself up over the smallest things. "Come on, let’s get to the library before Giles starts to worry or something."
For the most part, they took their time getting to the library, just walking, holding hands and every now and then saying a word or two. When they came to the library doors, they both saw that Faith was standing there talking to Giles. Hopefully she had already gone ahead and told Giles the story before they got in there. They appeared to be having a serious conversation and Giles looked as though he was in deep thought at the moment.
Walking in, Buffy spoke. "So, what’s the story? Faith, you already told him what the guy said, right?" She looked at Giles. "Giles what’s going on? What are we up against here?" He didn’t say anything right away, but stood there, still apparently reading the book he had in his hand. "Giles? Earth to Giles...Come in Gi..."
"Buffy, could you please...? I’m sorry, it’s just, ca...can I see you alone for a moment? In my office." Giles snapped.
Buffy just stared after him in complete shock. She hadn’t expected him to snap at her like that. He’d never done that before. Then she walked over to his office, and stopped just inside the doorway. She saw that he was sitting on the edge of his desk rubbing at the bridge of his nose like he does more often than not, when he gets stressed out about something.
"Giles, what’s happening? It’s something bad isn’t it? Well, it’s nothing we can handle right...right?" Buffy asked. Giles’ unresponsiveness was beginning to worry her. She wasn’t sure if there was something wrong with him or something to do with the Hellmouth.
"Right..." was all Giles said.
"Is everything okay? You’re not mad at me about something are you? Because I promise, I didn’t do anyth....."
"Buffy, I’m sorry. I...I didn’t mean to lash out at you out there. I haven’t had any sleep at all. I’m just tired. You’re free to leave if you want." Giles said.
As she turned to leave the office, she turned one last time to look at Giles. He had stood up and was standing there, shaking his head. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but she knew that there was something Giles wasn’t telling her and it wasn’t like him to keep things from her, especially when it came to things concerning the Hellmouth.
"Is everything okay? I can’t believe he jumped on you like that! He’s never done that before has he?" Faith asked.
"No...let’s just go. I think there’s something he’s not telling me or anyone else." The other Slayer said. When she looked at her watch, she realized that it was already eight and they were supposed to be at the Bronze right now. "You guys, we’re already late. We better hurry."
Chapter 12:
It took them fifteen minutes to get there and when they walked in, it didn’t take them long at all to spot the rest of the group. They were sitting around a table close to the dance floor and they all had worried looks on there faces. There was no telling what crazy stories they had come up with to worry themselves.
"Where have you guys been? We were starting to get worried." Willow asked.
Angel took the initiative and shortened the story up for them. His version only took a second to tell.
"Come on...let’s dance." Buffy said as she grabbed Angels hand. He didn’t refuse.
A slow song had come on and it was one of Angel’s favorites. A song by the Goo Goo Dolls, called Iris. He has heard the song a million times. As they stood there holding each other close, he let the words flow through his mind and began to sing them, almost in a whisper, just loud enough for the girl to hear.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
The first time he had heard the song, he realized right away just how close to home the words had hit him. Neither of them had noticed that the song had ended and that a fast song had begun to play. They stood there holding each other as though they were connected. They were in a way. Well, in many ways actually, they never wanted to let each other go. Someone tapped Angel on the shoulder bringing them both out of the world they were in.
"Can I cut in?" Willow asked Buffy. She never danced much, but just decided that she needed to talk to Angel for a minute or two.
"Sure..but don’t get too close or I’ll have to beat you up!" Buffy said, smiling. Instead of finding someone else to dance with, she decided to go get something to drink.
"So, Angel, how are things with you two?" Willow asked. He was never much of a talker and she didn’t really expect him to give her much of an answer, so she was surprised when he did.
"It’s okay...getting better. Alot better actually. She’s been really open with me lately. We’re so close and yet, I feel like I can never get enough of her." Angel answered. "I really love her Will. I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to her."
"How about Buffy? She doing okay? She talks to me and all and tells me alot of stuff, but when you guys came in earlier, she just looked like something was wrong. I don’t know...there was just something wrong." Willow said.
"Well, you know all of that stuff that I told you all earlier? Well, she was trying to get Giles’ attention and he snapped at her, then called her into his office.....when she came back out, she said she thought Giles wasn’t telling her something. Keeping something from her.. Something’s going to happen Will and I think she’s afraid she won’t be able to handle it. She acts like everything is okay...but she’s scared and won’t admit it. I don’t think she wants to feel like she’s dependent on anyone, like she’s got something to prove. If she lets it take over her, alot of bad things will happen." Angel said. "Can you do me a favor Will? I need someone to watch out for her when I can’t be there."
"I already do. You didn’t have to ask Angel." Willow said reassuringly.
Over the next couple of hours, they all danced and laughed and talked. Before they knew it, it was time to get going. Buffy only had twenty minutes until she had to be home, so they left anyway instead of waiting, then rushing to get her home.
"Are you sure you guys don’t want a ride, it’s not out of the way?" Cordelia asked.
"Thanks anyway, Cordy. I think me and Angel will walk. It’s nice outside anyway." Buffy answered. The car would have been too crowded anyway with all of them in it. Sports cars definitely weren’t made for public transportation.
"So...." Angel said.
"Yeah, so......" Buffy echoed. Neither or them knew what to say. "Angel, what’s going to happen? Whatever it is, Giles is worried about it. He’s never been this worried. For some reason, he’s hiding something from me."
"Give him some time." Angel said, trying to reassure her. The truth was, he was worried too. "Right now, lets just worry about getting you home, okay." He leaned over and placed a light kiss on the top of her head. With his arm placed protectively around the girl, they rounded the corned onto Revello Drive. Buffy’s house was only a few down the road.
"Angel.....I...I need..." Buffy started.
"Shhhh....did you hear that?" Angel asked. Both of them stopped and just as Angel turned to face the direction from which he heard the noise, a vampire jumped out of one of the nearby bushes.
"Shit...." was the only thing he heard Buffy say and as he turned around to see what was happening, he saw the vampire jump through the air and land a kick directly in the middle of the Slayers stomach. Angel thought to himself that he’d never seen anyone fly so far through the air, unwillingly. His first instinct was to run to her side, but turned, instead, and ran after the vamp. He caught up with ease, and didn’t waste any time dusting him.
Angel was back by the Slayers side within seconds and when he got to her, he realized she was lying almost twenty feet from where she had been standing, now unconscious, next to the tree he’d seen her fly in to. To him she looked so fragile and broken. He didn’t know what to do, so he scooped her up into his lap and tried talking to her.
"Come on Buffy. Buffy, wake up. Oh God, come one, you’ve gotta wake up. I know you can do it....I love you...." Angel was yelling at her. She was breathing , he could see that, so he knew that she wasn’t dead. The only other thing he could think of was the hospital, so he picked her up and carried her into town as quick as he could.
After he got there, the doctors took her from him and told him that all he could do was wait until they sent someone to talk to him. In the two hours that he sat in the waiting room, he managed to call Willow and tell her what happened and told her to fill in the others. She told him that they’d be there as soon as possible, and they were. He had tried to call Buffy’s mother, but only got the answering machine. He figured she must have gone back to the Gallery for some reason or another. Together they all sat there in an hour of silence, then the doctor came it. Angel was up and almost in the doctor’s face before he even got the chance to speak.
"Doctor, thank God. Is she okay...? Please, tell me something..." Angel pleaded.
"Well," the doctor began, "I’m afraid that your wife has had a miscarriage and she’s..." He was cut off by Angel then.
"My what has WHAT?" Angel yelled.
"I’m sorry sir...uh....Ms. Summers, she’s not your wife?" The doctor asked.
"Just tell me....what’s wrong? What happened?" Angel asked.
"Well, from everything that you told the nurse, that kick she received was enough to cause her to miscarry the child she was carrying. Now, she’s lost a great deal of blood and I’m going to want to keep her here for at least a couple of days. Right now, we’ve got her just down the hall in room 333. She can have visitors, but not more than a couple at a time. I had my nurse give her some medication earlier, so she’ll more than likely be sleeping for quite a while." the doctor finished.
"Thank you doctor. I appreciate it." Angel said. When he turned around, he realized that he’d forgotten about the rest of the gang being in the room. All he could see was the shock and dismay on there faces....and one very angry Xander. No one said anything, so he turned and walked out of the room. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew that if Buffy was sleeping, as soon as she woke up, he was going to find out.
The least confused out of everyone that had been in the room, Giles, just fell back into his chair and put his head in his hands. No one else moved.
"The Hellmouth strikes again, Giles what was that guy talking about?" Xander spat out in one breath.
"Xander, this is not the appropriate time. Not now!! We’ll discuss this later." Giles snapped. Then he got up and started to walk out the door. "I’m going down the hall to check on Angel an...and as for the rest of you. We’ll talk about this later. I....nevermind." With that, he turned and walked down the hall. He stopped just outside the room when he noticed that the door was cracked and he heard Angel talking.
"Why? I don’t understand, Buffy. What happened to us? I just...nevermind. You’re asleep and I’m talking to you anyway." Angel was saying. From what Giles could hear, it sounded as though he was upset. "The doctor says you’re going to be okay. Can you imagine, he actually called you my wife."
Giles hated to interrupt, but he knew that he need to speak with Angel. He knew that he must be thinking something terrible about the girl. Probably accusing her of something awful in his mind. "Angel, is..is it okay if I..I come in? I need to speak with you about something." Angel didn’t turn to look, he only nodded.
"Giles, I....I don’t know what to say. The thought’s in my head, I just, I don’t want to even say it outloud, but I...it couldn’t have been mine. I..."Angel started.
"It was," Giles said, interrupting him, "it was, and yes, contrary to popular belief, you’re the exception to every vampire rule, law, code, whatever it may be....it doesn’t count for you. I should have told you before. You...and Buffy both. But I didn’t. Even though you believed you weren’t able to conceive a child, I still thought that the both of you had sense enough to still be careful. Needless to say, I believe, the prophecy has been terminated, and their plans destroyed."
Angel wasn’t so confused anymore. All the pieces were slowly bringing themselves together. "So that means, that the child, the vampire has spoken of, ‘the spawn of hell’....it was going to be hers...ours? But why Giles? Why’d this have to happen to her. She didn’t deserve this." Angel said quietly. He knew that it was going to be hard for her when she woke up. Oh, Giles...I tried to call her mother. I couldn’t get ahold of her. Could you try to call her again in a minute?" Angel stopped when he heard the doctor come in.
"I’m assuming everything is okay in here?" The doctor asked. He was standing there looking at her chart. They couldn’t tell by the look on his face, what he was reading, but Angel was getting antsy and wanted to know what was going on.
"Doctor. I...does she know what’s going on? What did you have to do? I mean, when she wakes up, is she going to know where she’s at or what happened?" Angel asked him pleadingly. He desperately wanted to know what to do when she woke up. "It’s just that, when she wakes up. If she doesn’t know what’s going on, then I don’t want to say anything that’s going to upset her."
"Well, if she happens to wake up tonight, I don’t want any more than one person in here with her at a time. While she’s sleeping, there can be two. Ms. Summers was completely unconscious when you brought her in and when we had her in the emergency room, my team did manage to wake her up and from what they told me, she didn’t know where she was at and appeared to be very confused. They said she kept saying something about an Angel of some sort and..."
"No....that’s my name. Angel. I’m sorry, I didn’t mention that before." he interrupted.
"Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about that either. I’m going to go as far to say that, I’m not sure whether or not Ms. Summers knew she was pregnant. I could tell by your reaction that you weren’t aware of the situation either. The young lady was already in a major state of shock, so I asked my team not to tell her what was going on. We’ve found that women tend to panic and very seldom agree to cooperate with us if they are aware that something like this is happening, so, when she wakes up, it may be best not to mention this right away. And if you want, I can come back or I can send one of my female nurses in to help you explain everything that happened to her." the doctor explained quietly. "Something of this manner is always traumatizing and I promise you that she’s not going to take this well at all. I’ll be back to check on her in a couple of hours."
Then he left, and as he was leaving they thanked him. Then Angel turned to look at Giles with a concerned look on his face. One that seemed to ask him why.
"Giles, I..uh, I know he said only two, but, I....I don’t want to leave her. Can you tell everyone what the doctor said...and they can come in. What can three at a time hurt?" Angel asked. Then he walked over next to the bed where his girlfriend lay. He thought that she looked so peaceful lying there, not knowing what happened to her. He knew how well she wasn’t going to take this. She could handle a lot of things, he knew. But no woman could have this happen and not completely lose it. Bad things were always happening to her and she never seemed to catch a break. He couldn’t help but feel the pain for her.
Chapter 13:
Giles had gone to speak with the others after he had noticed Angel hovering over his Slayer’s bed. He knew that he would need a moment to compose himself before the others came in. He remembered, too, that he would have to call her mother. It was already almost 2:00 in the morning. She had to be worried....very worried.
"Giles, thank God, is she awake? Is she okay?" They were all asking him a hundred questions at the same time. Finally when he calmed them down, he explained everything to them and told them that, if by chance, she should wake up, they weren’t to mention why she was really there, and told them why they shouldn’t. The first to go in were Oz, Willow, and Faith. Willow didn’t know what to expect, so when she saw her friend lying there, she was surprised to see that she couldn’t really tell that anything bad had happened, other than the fact that she was lying in a hospital bed. They talked to Angel for a few minutes, but no one really knew what to say.
Outside the room, just down the hall, Xander could see Giles talking on the phone with someone. Probably Buffy’s mother. She was supposed to have been home at eleven, but never made it there.
"Yes...yes Ms. Summers. Yes. Your daughter is going to be okay, but I..I believe, it would be in your best interest to get down here as quickly as possible. I...." Giles was saying.
"Mr. Giles. Will you just tell me what’s wrong with my daughter. I need to...." Joyce was interrupted by Giles.
"Ms. Summers!" Giles yelled. "Just come down here. She’s in room 333. Now hurry..." then he hung up on her.
Xander watched as Giles hung up the phone and frustratingly ran his hands through his hair. By the time he got back to where Xander and Cordelia were standing, the other three had come out of the room.
"Xander, you guys can go in now." Willow said. Before they did, Willow gave Xander a look that said watch it. She knew that most of the time his brain wasn’t connected to his mouth, therefore allowing himself to say things that provoked Angel and made him mad.
"How’s she doing?" Cordy asked. "It doesn’t look nearly as bad as it sounded...." She was trying to be subtle, but it was coming out all wrong.
"Cordy..." Xander started.
"No. Xander, it’s okay." Angel said. He never looked at either of them, but spoke anyway. "She’s the same. No worse...no better. The doctor said it’d be a while before she’ll wake up. Do you guys know if Giles called her mother, she doesn’t know about this, I....." he was starting to get upset and his sentences were starting to run together, making little sense.
"Angel man. Calm down...it’s okay. Giles was just on the phone with her. I’m assuming she’s on her way as we speak." Xander told him. Angel just nodded. Xander could tell that they should probably leave him alone. He nudged Cordy and nodded toward the door. As quietly as they could, they went back into the hallway with the others. Everyone was just kind of standing around. A couple of minutes later, Joyce showed up. They all saw the grief stricken look on her face.
"Can I go in? Is she okay?" Joyce asked. Before anyone could answer, she barged into the room. They had forgotten that she didn’t know about Angel. So when it came to Giles, he ran in after her. He knew he’d have to explain, but first stop Buffy’s mother from attacking Angel.
"Omigod! You!! What are you doing here. Get away from my daughter." She yelled. Angel hadn’t expected her to come running in there, so he stood up and back away. He walked over to where Giles was standing, hoping that he’d do the explaining.
"Ms. Summers. It’s quite alright. A long story, yes. But it’s alright. Angel isn’t going to hurt anyone. He...he’s the one who brought Buffy here and called all of us." Giles told her.
"You! What have you done? What did you do to my daughter?" She asked. By then, Angel had stepped completely behind Giles. He didn’t know what Joyce was going to do.
"Please. Ms. Summers. You must be quiet, or we’re all going to get in trouble." Giles said, trying to calm her down. "Now. If you would like to know what happened, I’ll let Angel tell you the first part." He started with when he heard the noise and told her everything that happened up until the point where the doctor came into the waiting room.
When he stopped, he looked at Giles, hoping he would finish up the story, and he did. He told her everything about the prophecy, to begin with, then explained everything the doctor had told them. When he finished, all Joyce did was sit down next to the bed and grab her daughters hand.
"Ms. Summers...I......I’m sorry. I..." Angel started.
"It’s okay. I’m not clear on where you came from. But my daughter...I know she loves you. I just don’t understand why all of this happened?" Joyce said.
"Apparently, according to my books. The prophecy said that, they were to wait until the second night, after the birth of the child, and they were going to take the baby as a sacrifice to this demon, but without the child the demon would die." Giles explained.
"But why did it have to be Buffy? Why her?" Joyce questioned. Then it came to her. "Angel. If you are a vampire, I remember Buffy saying something about vampires not being able to have children. What’s going on? I mean, you must really care about her if you’re still here, if..."
"Ah, Ms. Summers. That’s the catch. See, because Angel has a soul, ummm. See, the prophecy read, ‘and the spawn of hell will be born...’ That means, it would have had the strengths of the Slayer and the vampire, only, none of the vampires weaknesses. The child would have been a creation that no other vampire could stand against. Their race was sure to be doomed to extinction. But, the one that Buffy was attacked by tonight, evidently wasn’t aware of the situation. Had Angel not killed him, his elders would have. You see?" Giles explained. She only nodded.
"Ms. Summers. Buffy...well, we were told by the doctors that, well, she doesn’t know what’s going on. I mean, she was unconscious when I brought her in here and when the doctors woke her up, well, they didn’t tell her what was happening because they were afraid she wouldn’t cooperate. She wouldn’t have." Angel said.
"I just don’t...this is all so hard to believe. Would you mind if I had a minute alone with my daughter?" Joyce asked.
Both Giles and Angel nodded then left the room. Everyone else had gotten tired of standing and had finally sat down on the floor in the hallway. When the two came out of the room, they all stood up.
"There’s no change. She’s still sleeping. It would probably be best if you all went home and got some sleep yourselves." Giles told them. "Angel, I...." When he turned to speak to him, he was gone. He looked down the hallway and saw Angel going into the private waiting room. Giles started to go down there, but was stopped by someone grabbing his arm.
"Giles...I’ll go talk to him. I think he might need someone of the....of the female gender to talk to right now." Willow said. Giles nodded then turned back to the others.
"I think I’m going to stay here tonight, but if any of you need a ride home...Faith?" Giles asked.
"That’s okay Giles, I’ll get them home..." Cordy offered. They all said their goodnights and asked Giles to call if there was any change. Oz and Giles were the only two left in the hall.
Willow finally found Angel sitting in the waiting room floor with his knees pulled to his chest and his head in his hands. She didn’t think he was crying, but could tell that everything must have finally gotten to him.
"Angel?" She spoke. "She’s going to be okay. I just know it. I have to believe that."
"It’s all my fault Will." Angel whispered. "Because of me......I put her in this situation in the first place. I didn’t see the guy...I swear. God...I just...I couldn’t save her and now she’s down there, completely unconscious and doesn’t have a clue as to what’s going on. Hell, the doctor told us that she didn’t even know....I didn’t know about the...."
"It’s not your fault Angel. It’s nobodies fault...not yours, not hers. You said you didn’t see the guy...if you didn’t see him, you couldn’t stop him. That’s not even the point. If you hadn’t brought her here, then who knows what might have happened." Willow told him. "You’ve got to be strong right now. You can’t blame yourself. If you do, you’re going to fall apart. As much as you probably want to just let go right now...when Buffy wakes up, if you’re not there to tell hew what happened...it has to be you. If it was me in there, I would rather have my boyfriend in there telling me instead of some stuffy doctor, or even my mother." He only nodded.
"Is everyone mad at me?" Angel asked curiously.
"Why would they be mad at you? It’s none of their business what happens in your relationship. They’re just worried." Willow said as she looked out into the hall. She noticed that only Giles and Oz were in the hall now. "Everyone must have gone home to get some sleep or something. I don’t see anybody but Giles and Oz. Come on...let’s go back down there..."
Angel got up and caught Willow before she walked out the door.
"Thank you" was all he said. Then he hugged her. When they got down to the room, Joyce came out.
"She’s still sleeping...Angel. Thank you...you did what you could. I appreciate that. But when my daughter gets through this and I get her home......were all going to sit down and have a talk! An important one!" Joyce said.
"Yes ma’am...." Angel whispered. Sometimes Buffy’s mother could be very authoritative. He was surprised at just how whooped he sounded. Everyone was.
"Oz, I’m going to stay here with Giles and Angel. If you want, you can go home and get some sleep. You look tired." Willow told him.
"Are you sure? I mean, I can stay if you want..." Oz said.
"I’ll be fine. Besides...Angel may need my help when Buffy wakes up. He told me that the doctor said she didn’t know anything. About anything. Can you believe that?" Willow said.
They stood there talking for a moment then he kissed her on the cheek and left. Giles, Willow, Joyce and Angel were standing just outside the room, the door cracked just in case, so they could hear her if Buffy woke up. They were all standing there talking, trying to pass the time when all of the sudden, Angel thought he heard something. It was really quiet, which made him realize that his heightened vampire senses allowed him to hear what the others couldn’t.
Chapter 14:
"I’m going to check on her...I’ll be back in a minute..." Angel said, backing up through the door.
"No, it’s quite all right Angel. Just let us know if you need anything." Giles told him. He knew that he had probably wanted to just sit with the girl for a while, even though she was still sleeping. He was just that way.
When Angel walked into the room, he realized exactly what he’d heard. He walked around the corner and was watching the girl when he saw her hand move. It was only her fingers twitching, but it was movement. He hoped that she was coming out of the medication induced sleep. Angel walked over to the head of the bed and took her hand in his. After a minute of standing there, he felt her squeeze his hand. Again, it was small, but it was a response.
He leaned in close to her, so as not to be too loud. "Buffy. Buffy...come on. Wake up...I know you can do it. Come on..." he whispered. "I need you to wake up...I love you so much. Come on. I..."
"Is she waking up?" Willow asked.
He hadn’t heard the door open or close, so Angel jumped when he heard her speak.
"Willow, God...you scared me." Angel told her. "I don’t know if she’s waking up or not. When I came in, I saw her fingers move, so I was trying to talk to her. I thought it might help a little."
Then, both of them started talking to her. They had both heard stories about how, if you talk to a person while they are unconscious, that it helped bring them out of it sometimes. So they started saying stuff, anything to try to get her to respond.
"See, there it is again. She keeps squeezing my hand..." Angel said.
"Ang.....Ang...el..?" Buffy was trying to talk.
"I’m here...Buffy. Come on. Wake up...please. We’re here. I’m here...Willow’s here too..." Angel said.
"Will...?" Buffy asked. "Wha...what happ..ened...Angel?"
"Shhhh...don’t try to talk...You...." Angel started. "No....don’t sit up either. I....I don’t think you need to sit up right now." He told her. She didn’t listen, so she tried again, but cried out in pain with her hand on her stomach, then laid back down.
"Buffy? How do you feel?" Willow asked.
"I....It feels like someone ran me over with a semi...then backed up again." She told them.
"You’re gonna be okay. Just, let me go get..." Angel was saying.
"What happened? All I remember is that guy kicking me. I’ve been kicked before and it never hurt this bad. It feels..." Buffy started.
"Angel, I’ll go tell Giles and Joyce that she’s awake. Should probably get the doctor too. I’ll be right back." Willow told them.
"I’m so glad you’re okay. The doctor told us that he figured you’d sleep most of the night. He..." Angel started.
"Angel. What am I doing here? I’ve....been attacked like that before, but they never made me stay ...I..." Buffy was trying to talk. He could tell by the look on her face that she had thought of something, but didn’t say it. He wondered why...She started to try to sit up again, but fell back again when she felt the stabbing pain surge through her lower abdomen.
"Don’t sit up...You’re gonna hurt yourself worse. Just wait until your mother and Giles get in here with the doctor...then you..."
"Well, Ms. Summers. It’s nice to see that you’ve decided to join the land of the living." the doctor said jokingly. Buffy thought, if he only knew... "So, now that the young lady’s awake, I’ll need you all to step out of the room for a moment so I can check her out, make sure everything’s okay and...." Everyone was about to leave when Buffy interrupted.
"Can Angel stay...I don’t know what’s wrong because I’ve been attacked like that before and I’ve never had to stay here. I want him here..." Buffy said. She looked directly at Angel then. "Sit....Stay!" A look of shock on his face prompted the doctor to speak again.
"Don’t worry. It’s only the side effects of the medication talking. It’ll wear off in a....." the doctor tried to tell him.
"No it’s not! I’m always like this when people aren’t telling me things I need to know and Willow....Sit....Stay!" Buffy said. "I know you know something too. You’re not THAT good at hiding things."
"But.....I...I really don’t. Oh..why me? I’m sitting.....I’m sitting." Willow said, breaking down. She knew Buffy was right. When she knew something about someone and tried to hide it, they could always tell.
Once her mother and Giles were out in hall again, the doctor proceeded in checking the Slayer over. Doing the usual stuff, asking some unusual and personal questions and making Buffy even more curious.
"Somebody spill it...!!" Buffy demanded.
"Well, Ms. Summers..." the doctor started.
"Buffy.....Ms. Summers is my mother." Buffy stated.
"Okay, Buffy...when your....err...husband...boyfriend, Angel, when he brought you into the emergency room, you were completely unconscious. While my team had you, checking you over. you began to hemorrhage, or bleed...to put that in technical terms. By the time we realized what had happened, there was nothing we could do to..."
"Doctor....please. Just tell her what happened?!" Angel told him.
"Ms...Buffy. You’ve had a miscarriage."
"Excuse me!!! I’ve had a whatta....?" Buffy yelled.
"Well, if you’d like me to..." the doctor started again.
All three of them noticed that she was beginning to panic. She was rambling and screaming out a million questions all in one breath.
"It’s okay doctor. We’ll fill her in on the details. I appreciate the help." Angel said, thanking him before he left the room. When he walked over, Buffy waited until he was close enough to the bed and when he was, she grabbed his shirt and jerked him down until his face was only inches from hers.
"What. The Hell. Was He Talking About???" She asked him. Angel knew she was trying to be rational, but the question came out louder than they all thought it would. "He’s a Doctor!! Doesn’t he know that you have to be...I just... !??!" She choked out.
"Buffy, my back...it’s kinda..." Angel’s speaking only made her tighten her grip.
"Willow...can you get Giles for me. He’s gonna have to explain this to her...." Angel choked out.
Willow left the room and immediately came back in with Giles. She explained to him that Buffy was about to kill Angel and that they needed him to explain everything to her, and he did. He started from the beginning and despite all of the Slayers interruptions, told her about the prophecy and everything the doctor had told them. They had finally managed to calm the girl down.
"Giles, will you tell my mother to go home and get some sleep..." Buffy asked him. "Willow.....thank you for sticking around...I really appreciate it. And you can tell everyone that I’m fine." She hugged her best friend before she left the room and everyone said their goodnights. Finally when she and Angel were alone, she broke down. Even though it had all hit her at once, she had held her composure until everyone had left. Angel had been standing at the door talking to Giles before he left, so when he heard her crying, he ran to her side.
Carefully he sat down on the edge of the bed and gently pulled her hands away from her face.
"Buffy.....I’m so sorry. This is all my fault....I’m so sorry..." Angel said. His voice was a little shaky.
"Why.....why does the bad stuff always happen to me? It sounds so terrible to say...but why can’t it ever happen to anybody else...It’s always me. First I lost you...and now. This. I just don’t understand. And it’s always going to be this way, right up until the day I......"
"Shhhh...don’t talk." Angel told her.
"Angel. Stay with me. I don’t want to be alone right now.....please." Buffy asked. He realized that she was trying her best to make room on the bed, slowly but surely, working her way over. "You can sleep here...I’ll be okay. I promise..."
Slowly, he took off his coat and tossed it to the chair. "Are you sure? You don’t need the room?" The girl only nodded.
After he positioned himself on his side, he gently laid his arm across her waist, inviting her to curl up next to him as much as she could without hurting herself. Eventually she fell back to sleep and Angel lay there watching her until it was nearly dawn. He knew he couldn’t stay, because if he did, he’d be stuck at the hospital if they released her early. After he’d gotten up and put his coat on, he stole one last glance and placed a kiss gently on the corner of her mouth, before walking out into the brightly lit hallway.
Chapter 15:
"Is she sleeping?" Willow asked. Angel hadn’t seen her sitting on the floor when he came out. Apparently everyone had gone home for some sleep. But Willow....as much as she probably needed the sleep, she stayed. She was the best friend Buffy had...and she stayed. "Are you going home?" She asked as she stood up.
"Yea, she’s sleeping...finally. And yes...I’m gonna have to hurry if I’m gonna make it." Angel answered. "Are you going to stay with her?"
"I’ll call you in the morning...nevermind, it is the morning. I’ll call and let you know if they’re gonna let her leave early." Willow told him, and after she thought about it, she spoke again. "You know...she’s going to want to stay with you, at least until she’s allowed to go back to school."
Angel just stood there for a moment with his head down, thinking about what the girl had just said. "Thanks Will. You’re a great friend." He hugged her then left. When he did, Willow went into the room. She felt so bad for her friend. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what she must be going through. She hoped, too, that she’d never have to know. All she knew to do, was be there and help her by just trying to understand. For now, she just sat down and curled up in the chair next to the bed and fell asleep.
As Angel was walking down the hall, he passed the waiting room and for some reason glanced to see who was in there. Buffy’s mother hadn’t gone home afterall, so he stopped.
"Ms. Summers...Buffy’s going to be okay...I promise. I would never intentionally let anything bad happen to her." Angel said. When he finished she looked up at him, then back at her watch.
"You need a ride. You’ll never make it if you walk. I’ll drive you..." Joyce told him. He didn’t protest. As they were driving, they were both aware of just how much lighter it had gotten since they had left the hospital. "I’ll take you to my house. It’s closer and you can stay in Buffy’s room."
After they were safely inside the house, Angel thanked the Slayer’s mother, but still stood just inside the door due to the amount of discomfort he felt being in the house without Buffy. Sure, he came into the house often, but not to her mother’s knowledge. He’d gotten so used to sneaking in through the girls window that he almost felt as though he’d just entered the house for the first time.
"Ms. Summers...I.....I..you’ll call to let me know when they’re going to release her won’t you...?" Angel questioned.
As Joyce stood there looking at the man who stood in front of her, with the look of worry and grief on his face, she was beginning to see just what her daughter saw in him. She gathered that, although cautious by nature, he wore his heart on his sleeve, allowing the vulnerability of his love for Buffy available for anyone to see.
"I’ll call....or Buffy will call. If you need anything, feel free to make yourself at home. Afterall, I’m sure the days are quite long for you. Buffy’s room is just at the top of the stairs and down the hall, very last door on the right." Joyce told him. Although, he was partially thankful for the directions. He would need them come from this point of view.
"Thank you. I appreciate it...everything. More than I can tell you." Angel said. With that, Joyce Summers left. She hadn’t known that Willow had stayed, so she thought her daughter was at the hospital by herself. Otherwise, she might have stayed a minute or two longer.
When Buffy’s mother walked into room 333 she heard voices and became worried that her daughter was talking to herself. When she walked around the corner, she saw that Willow was sitting in the chair talking to Buffy, who had evidently woken up again within the thirty or forty-five minutes that Angel had left her sleeping form to save himself from the break of day.
"...and the next thing I.......Oh, mom. Hi. I thought you left? I mean, Willow said she thought you left." Buffy said confused.
"I gave Angel a ride, but it was getting light a little fast so I took him to the house and told him he could sleep in your room....then came back to check on you. I didn’t know Willow was still here."
"Thank you mom. Was he okay when you left? You did make sure he didn’t need anything didn’t you...?" Buffy questioned.
"He said he was fine...I figured he would probably just go upstairs and go to sleep. And..."
"Well, Ms......I mean, Buffy. You look like you’re in better spirits since I saw you earlier this morning. I’m assuming you talked with your husband...boyfriend? Everything is okay then?" The doctor asked. He had startled everyone, by coming in unnoticed.
"He’s my boyfriend and yes, things are fine. Actually, I’m feeling much better. No pain, I swear." Buffy told him, trying to sound convincing, but it was the truth. Before she had gone to sleep, she had been having major cramps and pains. When she woke up, they were close to gone. Although, it hadn’t surprised her much because of her ability to heal faster than normal people did. She was really beginning to appreciate her Slayer healing skills.
"Well, I’ve got a few more rooms to go to. Tell you what. I’ll be back in about ten or fifteen minutes and when I get back, we’ll see if you’re going to be able to walk if you need to and check you over and maybe, just maybe, we’ll let you go home today." the doctor smiled, then turned and walked out the door.
When he came back, they did just what he said they would do. After he had checked her over and asked her a few more questions, she slowly climbed out of the bed and showed him that she could walk just fine. After much arguing from her and twice as much insistence from the doctor, they agreed that she was okay to go home, but had to use a wheelchair. He also told her that he didn’t want her going to school, much less leaving her bed for a week. This, she didn’t argue with. No school for a week, without calling it skipping. She was all for it. It was going to be boring, but no school equals no slaying, which equals lots of rest time.
When they had left the hospital, Buffy and Willow had sat in the back of the car so they could talk without the Slayer having to turn around. Driving through town, she suddenly felt hungry, thinking that she hadn’t eaten since, well, since right after school, the day before.
"Omigod. Will...Angel." the Slayer said. Her thinking about being hungry reminded her that Angel must be starving. He hadn’t eaten since the night before, but she had no idea when. Not wanting to gross her mom out completely, she whispered to her friend instead of speaking outloud. "If I get my mom to stop at the Butcher shop, will you go in and get me something to take Angel? Just tell the guy I sent you in and he’ll know what to get." Willow nodded. "Mom, can you stop right up here? Will said she promised her mom she’d pick something up from the Butchers this morning. Please....you don’t mind do you?"
"Thanks Ms. Summers. I’ll be right back." With that, Willow got out of the car, leaving Buffy and her mother alone for the first time since she’d woken up at the hospital.
Chapter 16:
"Mom...did you call Angel?" Buffy asked thoughtfully.
"Yes, I did," Joyce told her. Then she remembered what she had told him much earlier that morning. "and just so you know, although, I’m happy that you’re going to be okay, you’re not off the hook. I told Angel and now I’m going to tell you...that when we get to the house, we’re all going to sit down and talk about.....well, what caused all of this to happen in the first place."
"Mom...oh my God. You told him that. I can’t believe.....I just.....mom. I promise, it was an accident. We never meant for anything like this to happen and.....I...we didn’t even know that something like this could happen. I mean, Giles told us that vampires couldn’t......that vampires couldn’t have kids." Buffy choked out. Her mother realized just how much this had affected her daughter.
"Buffy...I..don’t talk about it right now. I didn’t mean to upset you. That wasn’t what I was trying to do. I promise. We’ll talk about this later." She finished just as Willow was coming out of the shop. When she got in the car, she gently sat the bag down in the seat between herself and the Slayer.
"Thanks Will. I really appreciate it." Buffy whispered.
When they pulled up in front of Willow’s house, she told Willow that she’d call her later and hugged her before she got out of the car. Joyce didn’t even notice that Willow hadn’t taken the brown bag with her and when they got back to their own house, she hadn’t even noticed when her daughter took it into the house with her.
"Do you think you can get upstairs okay. I can help you if you..."
"It’s okay mom. I’ll make it. I think I’m just going to go lay down...."
It usually only took the Slayer two seconds to get up the flight stairs. This time it had almost taken her five minutes. Not quite that long, but it felt like an eternity to her. When she got to her room, and opened the door, she noticed that Angel had thrown a blanket over the window, making it rather dark. But instinctively, she knew her way around her room. She could see Angel’s still form laying on her bed. He hadn’t even bothered to get under the covers, but for some reason, he had taken the time to take off his shoes, jacket and shirt.....
Not wanting to wake him, she laid down on the bed as gently as possible and turned on her side to face the man that was laying next to her on her bed. Thinking that he was sleeping, she was startled when she heard him speak.
"Feeling a little better?" Angel asked.
"I didn’t know you were awake....yea, I’m feeling alot better actually." She answered quietly. "Oh, I almost forgot. We were on our way home and I had mom stop at the Butcher shop. Brought you something to eat. I didn’t know when you last ate, so ya know..."
"Thank you....I’m okay for now. But it’s still early...what time is it anyway?" He asked....she was always thinking of others first. He really appreciated it.
"It was 7:00 when we got to the house." She told him.
"You should get some sleep you know....come here..." Angel said. Buffy scooted and turned over to lay on her other side. She lay with her back pressed against his chest and his arm around her waist. She thought she’d never felt so safe...
As they lay there, as close as they could possibly get, Angel thought about a lot of things. He thought that no one else would/could ever feel so good in his arms. He still felt awful that all this had happened. Neither of them had been thinking that night when she had run to the mansion, crying and upset. They had let themselves get carried away and hadn’t been careful. But when he thought about it, it was in the prophecies. Whether or not they had been careful, it wouldn’t have mattered. It was supposed to happen, all up until last night.
Some young and foolish vampire hadn’t known what was to come and he had attacked her, and although Angel hated to admit it, they wouldn’t have been able to stop the prophecy from coming true. This way, it was better. She hadn’t known, therefor, she hadn’t had the chance to eventually find out, get attached, then lose the child to a demon as sacrifice two days after it would have been born. He thought. For sure, this would be something she would never forget, but it was something he hoped wouldn’t haunt her for the rest of her life. She wouldn’t soon forget, but he’d be there for her every possible moment.
It was nearly 1:00 in the afternoon when Buffy woke up. When she rolled over, she realized she was laying on the bed by herself. It was the middle of the day, so she knew that he was still there. But where? When she looked around the room a couple times, she noticed that the bag she’d brought him, was gone. As she started to stand up, her bedroom door opened and Angel came in.
"I...went to throw the bag away." Angel told her quietly. "Thank you..." The girl only smiled up at him. "You really shouldn’t be standing up you know. Not if you want to get better."
"I’m going to be stuck in this room all week and this whole weekend and I’m not supposed to be up moving around. What about when mom goes to work at the Gallery during the day? I can’t just sit here and not get up. What if I need something? What if I have to go to the bathroom? I can’t just sit here!" Buffy said. Standing there looking up at him, telling him all of this stuff, she had begun to work herself up. "I can’t go to school, and that means I can’t go on patrol...what am I supposed to do?"
"Let me take care of you..." Angel whispered. She only looked at him with a confused expression on her face. "Tonight...you can come with me, to the mansion. Just until you’re able to go back to school...that way, you won’t be by yourself and you won’t have to get up."
"Angel, I don’t know about thi...."
"Your mom said I could take you with me." Angel stated. "While I was downstairs, she was in the kitchen and it came to me that, well, while she was at work, you would be here alone and I hate the thought of leaving your side, especially with all that has happened. Your mom, she can’t take off work....it took a few minutes, but I finally convinced her. That is.....if you want to go?"
She looked at him for a moment then smiled. Standing up on her toes, she put her hands behind his neck and pulled his mouth down on hers. "I love you...." they both said at the same time. They stood there for a minute, holding onto each other, before either of them spoke again.
"So you’ll go with me?" Angel asked.
"Anywhere...." was all she said, and before she knew it, Angel had scooped her up in his arms and carried her over to the bed to lay her down on it, then just sat next to her.
"You shouldn’t be standing." He said with a smile. "Get some sleep. The more rest you get, the better you’ll feel. Did the doctor give you any painkillers or medication?"
"No. I told him that I was fine, that I didn’t need them." Buffy told him. She noticed that he was looking at her as though she was the most stubborn person in the world, and she was. Giles reminded her of that more than she cared to hear. "I don’t. I’m fine. There’s only a little pain every now and then."
She was starting to feel a little awkward laying on the bed with Angel sitting on the edge of it with his back to her. Neither of them were talking, so she sat up again, this time she slid over next to Angel and rested her chin on the back of his shoulder. When she did this, he turned around to let her lay her head on his leg. He sat there running his fingers through her hair until he realized that she was asleep again. Being a little tired himself, he did some situating then laid down, still holding onto the girl with her head resting on his chest.
Chapter 17:
Later that evening after they had both woke up, Angel had gone to take a shower. When he came back to the room he noticed that Buffy had laid out a pair of clean clothes so he asked if she was going to take a shower too. After she got into the bathroom, it took her a few minutes to get undressed and into the shower on her own. When she got out, she had the same problem. Finally, she got tired of messing with it, so she walked back down the hall and into her room with nothing but her underwear and bra on. Angel turned when he heard her come in. When the scene finally hit him, his mouth dropped open and he was about to speak, but couldn’t before Buffy did.
"Don’t say a word! I’m pretty sure I can get my shirt on....but I know I’m going to need help with the pants, socks and shoes." Buffy told him.
Angel didn’t move. He just stood there, looking at her stomach. Buffy noticed what he was looking at, so she looked down, then back up at him. She had already seen the very large and dark blue bruise across the lower part of her abdomen.
"You’re looking at this aren’t you?" Buffy asked, pointing to her stomach. "It’s okay really..." What she didn’t realize is that Angel hadn’t seen the damage until just now. He hadn’t even thought to ask if something like that had happened.
"My God....Buffy. Are you sure you’re okay? That looks really bad." Angel said as he walked over to stand in front of her. "Come here..." he said as he wrapped his arms around her.
As he stood there helping her dress herself, he told her that her mother had come upstairs to check on them while she was in the shower.
"What did she say?" Buffy asked him.
"She said to tell you that as soon as you were done getting cleaned up....she uhhh...she uhhhh wants to talk to us in the kitchen. I....."
"Yea....she warned me on the way home this morning......what time is it anyway?" She asked.
Looking at his watch, he answered her. "Almost 7:00. It’s almost dark outside....you ready to go down there?"
"Ready as I can be...I guess. There’s no telling what she’s got in mind for us." Buffy said, rolling her eyes.
When they got down the stairs, Buffy saw her mother sitting at the island counter in the middle of the kitchen, reading the paper, with a cup of coffee in hand. Casually, she turned to face the both of them as they joined her in the kitchen. She noticed that they’d walked in holding hands, standing close to each other. So close that it almost seemed as though they were joined at the hip. It made her think back to the first time she had even been in love. It was a long time ago she thought.
"You wanted to talk to us mom?" Buffy asked. She knew the answer already....but wasn’t sure of what to say and it had been the first thing that came to mind.
"As a matter of fact....you know very well what I want to talk to you about." Joyce said looking at the two of them standing there. "Buffy....you and I, we’ve had this talk before....and I’m sure you’ve told Angel the horror story of you mother and the ‘mom-talk’ that we’ve had."
"Yea mom....and guess what? It’s his fault you know about it in the first place." The Slayer said jokingly. She realized, after looking at Angel, that she was the only one who found the comment remotely amusing. "Look, Angel, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by that, I...I.....just...I was trying to lighten the tension in here. It’s so thick you could cut it with a knife...and chew on it. Anyway, nevermind."
"Ms. Summers...if I can explain...I mean, I can....I...we.....this was only the second time that we’ve slept together. To put it bluntly." Angel started. Both Buffy and her mother knew he was struggling to keep from blushing of embarrassment. "That night, see...something happened between Buffy and everybody, so she ran to me...to talk. We were both comforting each other. Just......one thing led to another and, and well, that was two months ago. Nothing has happened since. I promise."
"Yea...what he said."
Joyce just stared at her daughter, then turned to glance at Angel. "Buffy, you’re growing up...and I’m having to deal with that. You’re not a baby anymore," Joyce said looking down at the floor. "I have a feeling that you haven’t been for a few years now..." She mumbled to herself...but they both heard her say it. Then looking back up at her daughter... "I’m sorry you’ve had to grow up so fast. You have a lot of responsibilities that it must take a lot of courage to deal with, I’m sure...and I realize that there are certain things that come with adulthood. Just promise me that you’ll be more careful from now on. I don’t know if I can handle this again."
When her mom finished, Buffy walked over and gave her a hug. She had come downstairs expecting to hear a long drawn out talk about how irresponsible they had both been. Although she was only seventeen, her mother thought, she was as much of an adult as she would ever be. Even though she hated to admit it...her daughter was truly in love.
"So...are you going to go stay at Angel’s for the week?" Joyce asked her daughter.
"If you’re sure it’s okay mom...I won’t go if you don’t want me too...."
"No...it’s okay, but you have to call, at least once a day...let me know if things are okay. Oh, and the doctor called while you were asleep. He said that he’d like for you to come down there at the end of the week, for a check-up. He wants to run a couple tests." Joyce said. Seeing the look on her daughters face made her speak again. "It’s okay! It’s nothing major, I’m sure. It’s probably just so they can be sure that there wasn’t any permanent damage done."
Buffy knew that her mother was only trying to reassure her that things were going to be okay, but she couldn’t help but worry. About what, she didn’t know, but up until now, her experiences with hospitals hadn’t been all that great.
"Anyway, I need to go call Willow...I promised I would. I’ll be right back." She said standing on her toes to kiss Angel on the cheek. Slowly she made her way to the living room, leaving Angel and her mother in the kitchen alone. They could hear the girl in the other room, talking to her best friend on the phone. She wasn’t in there long.
"...okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. Night Will." They heard her say. "So...I need to go upstairs and get a few things before we can go anywhere." She said as she made her way to the kitchen. "Angel, can you help me?" Buffy asked.
Angel supported most of her weight with one arm until they were out of her mothers sight. When they were, he surprised the Slayer by picking her up and carrying her up the stairs the rest of the way to her room. It sure made things alot easier on her. He had told her she shouldn’t be walking.
Before Buffy knew it, the week was over and it was already Sunday. She had had a doctors appointment earlier that morning. Her mother had gone with her because it had been during the day, making it impossible for Angel to be there with her. The doctor had told the Slayer that there had been no permanent damage done and that it wouldn’t keep her from being able to have children in the future. Buffy remembered thinking that, even though this wouldn’t...her destiny would.
Buffy spent the rest of the afternoon at her own house. Her mother wasn’t home from the Gallery yet, so as soon as nightfall came, she left the house and set out looking for Angel. She needed to talk to him about something important. At least, that was what she had told him when she had called him and asked him to meet her at the park. When she got there, she immediately found him sitting on a bench just under the street light.
"Hey..." Angel said as he stood up to greet her. He hugged her and placed a small kiss in the middle of her forehead. "So, what did the doctor say?"
"Well, to put it in his words...’Buffy, you’re gonna be fine. As a matter of fact, you shouldn’t have any problems having lots of kids in the future!’ How’s that for an answer?" Buffy told him quietly. Angel had noticed the tone of sarcasm in her voice. "If he only knew..." She finished, rolling her eyes. It was when she looked down that he responded.
"Hey...look at me." Angel gently tilted her head with both hands so they were looking each other in the eyes. She was crying. "It’s going to be okay. Do you hear me? Life...it’s never going to be fair with you. With you, or anyone else. And it’s going to be hard, but...I’m going to be there with you...every step of the way." He paused a moment to look at her. "You fight...I’ll fight beside you. You cry...I’ll cry with you. When you’re happy....we’ll be happy together........do you understand what I’m saying? I’ll be there for you, whenever you need me."
"Angel...I need to tell you something. I’ve needed to for a while, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know whether or not you would be mad at me. I just didn’t know...."
"Buffy...whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m not going to be mad at you." Angel told her.
"Well...I...I knew. I knew and I was afraid. I didn’t know what to...."
"What?" Angel asked, sounding concerned. "What did you know?" She was getting worked up again. It was always easy to tell when she allowed herself to get upset.
"I swear...I didn’t know about the prophecy. I would have told you as soon as I found out, but I didn’t know what to do."
As Angel realized what the girl was rambling about, he threw his head back, as if he were looking at the stars and rubbed both of his hands over his face. He wasn’t mad, he just didn’t know what to say. Buffy had mistaken his actions for anger and had moved from in front of him to sit on the bench behind him. When Angel finally looked back at where she had been standing, he saw that she was gone and immediately turned around. She was sitting on the bench with her head in her hands....crying softly he could tell. Kneeling down in front of her, he wrapped his arms around her, hoping it would calm her down.
"Buffy. Please...I’m not mad at you. I can’t be mad at you. You did what anyone would do in your situation. You panicked....But you...you were fighting that night. When those guys jumped Faith. You should have told me. You shouldn’t have been fighting." Angel said.
He wasn’t mad at her, by no means....He couldn’t be. Angel just couldn’t help but think how scared she must have been. He had told her before not to worry because vampires couldn’t have children. He couldn’t begin to imagine what things must have been running through her mind. It occurred to him now, why she had been so quiet on their way to the Bronze that night. It explained the look on her face and her tone of voice when Faith had repeated what the guys had said....’The spawn of Hell’...having your child, the baby growing inside of you, referred to as ‘The spawn of Hell’...and just then realizing what that child was going to be.
Angel knew that he had to stop thinking about what she must have been going through. He was going to eat himself up feeling her pain. No once, while he sat there with the young Slayer shuddering in his arms, did she stop crying. All of her pent up worry, grief, sorrow and pain had all come out in one big rush of emotion. She had been keeping it all inside.
"God....Angel. I’m sorry. So sorry." Buffy said.
"Shhh it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay...I promise." Angel whispered.
They sat there for what seemed like hours...but it was really only a few minutes. Eventually, Buffy calmed down and her crying subsided. When she finally disentangled herself from Angel’s arms, she looked up at him just in time to see a single tear roll down his cheek. She wasn’t sure what he was upset about....maybe losing the child. At least...even though she had only known for a couple of days, they hadn’t had the time to get used to the idea, to get attached, then lose the child. By that time, they wouldn’t have had the power to stop what the prophecies had predicted. She would have been weakened at that point, at least, until she would have had the time to fully recover. That time wouldn’t have come soon enough.
"I love you so much..." Buffy said, looking Angel directly in the eyes.
"I love you too...." Angel whispered.
The End