THE BAMMER WEIGHT ROOM STORY


Once upon a time there was a Prep School in West Alabama that pretended to be a college.  They called this school, The University Of Alabama.

Well, all the Bammer alumni and fans liked to brag about their school, always claiming that they had more tradition, intelligence and class than everyone else, you know, that they were just plain better than everybody else.

There was only one problem.  They weren't all that good at sports.  They liked to think that the reason for their decline in sports was because they had an old run down weight training facility which caused Bammer's athletes to be weak and subject to injuries.

The more the Bammers lost, the more their athletes were exposed as weaklings.  This lack of strength conditioning began to take its toll on the Bammer athletic program.  Not to mention the fact that Bammer's out-dated weight room was being used against them in recruiting.

Bammer's athletes in all their sports programs were sad and depressed.

The Bammer fans were outraged and demanded answers.  "What is happening?", they demanded to know from Bammer Head Coach Dumbose.

Of course, Coach Dumbose gave them all the usual assurances.

Well, things quieted down for awhile, until one day, Bammer's arch rival, Auburn, built a new, state-of-the-art, weight training facility.

Well, the Bammer fans were furious! First of all, they didn't even know what a "weight room" was.  Actually, they thought it was a "wait room".  Of course they didn't know who would be using a waiting room at Auburn, but by Gawd!, if Auburn had a new wait room, then Bammer sure as Hell would have one too!

The unruly Bammer fans rioted in Tuscaloosa and demanded that a new "wait room" be built immediately!  They demanded action!!!

Well Coach Dumbose was in a spot and he went to the Bammer Athletic Director, Boob Bockrath, and demanded action.  Dumbose had his bags packed and threatened to leave if Ole Boob didn't free up some money for a new weight room.  Dumbose also demanded that Bockrath hire a new strength coach as well.

Boob Bockrath finally conceded.  He conducted a "thorough" search of the country for a new strength coach for Bammer.  He finally found his man.

Reluctantly, and under duress, Bockrath also freed up some funds to begin construction on Bammer's new weight training facility.  Bockrath arranged for the Bammer Engineering School to design the facility and oversee it's construction.

After many, many, many months (non-Bammers call that years), Bammer's brand new weight room was constructed.

Bammer's athletes began using the weight room immediately.  For the tenth year in a row, Bammer has proclaimed that they will be much stronger during the upcoming football season.

This year, there is validity to that statement, as their football players have already "doubled" the amount of weight that they can lift.

Bammer football opponents will truly be surprised when they see the imposing and athletic specimens that Bammer will suit up and send out on the football field this year.

THE END

OR JUST THE BEGINNING?!?!?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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