An Automotive Marvel

Christine Motors, a small, independant automotive factory specializing in unusual cars, unvealed their latest marvel this week. The new Christine Arrowhead is expected to revolutionize the automotive industry with its ultra sleek body and space-age features.

death trapThe sleek new Christine Arrowhead

Able to reach speeds of up to 300/mph, the Arrowhead can go from zero to 200 in three seconds. Despite its impressive speed, it always gives a flawlessly smooth ride--almost like flying off the ground.

The Arrowhead has a roomy interior. It seats one in the cockpit and five in the rear compartment--provided one of the five is a small chimp. Plenty of leg room for people under five feet tall.

The engineers, concerned about the dangers of air bags, outfitted the Arrowhead with a special safety system. Upon collision, the car fills with a squishy foam that cushions impact. The foam is also flame-retardant so the occupants need not fear being trapped in burning wreckage.

The car also has a one-time-use-only emergency feature. When the occupants of the vehicle are headed for certain death in a horrible accident--such as driving into a demolition site, through a guardrail, and over a rocky cliff into shark-infested waters--they can engage the ejector seats. The driver and passengers will be thrown high into the air far away from impending doom.

Christine Motors is already receiving orders for the vehicle and they've barely begun production. Edward Cell, head of marketing and sales for the company, told us that customers always recognize quality and that the Arrowhead will sell itself because it's a car of exceptional design. He's so confident in the popularity of this auto, that he said it may even launch Christine Motors to the forefront of the automotive industry.


March/April, 1999