Chalky, Dufus & Shirt…

…Blessed Be

Chalky was feeling a little bit miserable. The gorgeous Tigger was sightseeing in Canada for 3 weeks and had left him with only his Doctor Who collection to keep him company (oh, and Dufus and Shirt, of course).

There had been a Peter Davison signing for the release of Spare Parts, but he hadn’t been bothered about going to that. However, the prospect of a Brian Blessed signing, a few days before Miss Tigger’s return filled him full of joy.

He was also under orders to get an autograph for Tigger, seeing as he was actually someone she had heard of – and on top of that, was the voice of the evil Ratcliffe in Tigger’s recently acquired (courtesy of Shirt & Dufus) Disney’s Tarzan video.

And so it was that the three friends, minus the elusive Enigma and the liquidated Lupine, trotted up to 7^th Galaxy to meet the scary King Yrcarnos. ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once they had managed to reach Barking, always a trial and a tribulation with the frequency of engineering works, the trio joined the average-sized queue – although not before purchasing their stunning photographs of Mr. Blessed in his Yrcarnos guise. A photo of Mr. Blessed in his Blackadder role was also available, but this only briefly tempted Dufus. The artwork of Mr. Blessed’s character from The Phantom Menace failed to grab any of the trio, seeing as he only voiced the character, and they didn’t think much of the film anyway (I mean, have you seen it…?).

The queue was spent in the usual manner. Discussing various Who topics; Chalky cadging a read of Dufus’s or Shirt’s ‘Shockeye’s Snack’ because he’s too cheap to buy his own (and it only costs £1!) – then again, Shirt spends most of his time in WHSmiths reading the magazines rather than buying them, so he can hardly talk…; Dufus accosting Big Ted to ask whether he can buy this, sell that or open their Birmingham branch of 7^th Galaxy; discussing the mysterious lack of water in the fountain; and reassuring themselves that they aren’t as sad as the majority of people in the queue (who are they kidding…?).

With a limit of one personal item (which 7^th Galaxy had become very hot on keeping to) Chalky, taking an opportunity when Dufus had grabbed Big Ted by the lapels, asked if he could have Tigger’s Tarzan cover signed instead of his Brian Blessed photograph so that he would be able to also get Brian’s signature on his Trial of a Time Lord box set.

Big Ted had a think and then decided that Chalky could get everything including the photo signed, simply because he was such a good customer.

Dufus, thinking that the number of items signed correlated to the number of items bought in the shop, thought he could get his entire collection – non-Brian Blessed related merchadise included – signed by the man with the loud voice. Chalky growled at him, thinking that if Big Ted thought he would have to allow EVERYONE to get more items signed he would rescind his kind offer.

Fortunately, Big Ted allowed Dufus to get a couple of extra items, meaning that Dufus could have his precious I CLAVDIVS videos signed.

Eventually moving into the shop, the trio were entertained by the fact that Mr. Blessed really is as loud and as brash as he seems on TV. Joking, laughing and shouting at the top of his voice, he chatted away to each fan in turn. Chalky was entertained by the fact that one fan (the dreaded woman with toddler from Invasion II) seemed intent on chatting away to Mr. Blessed about something and nothing despite the fact he was clearly uninterested and was trying to politely get shot of her by not looking in her direction.

Over hearing conversations, the trio heard Mr. Blessed announce that The Black Adder ‘was the best one they ever did’.

As Chalky put down Tigger’s Tarzan cover, Mr. Blessed got most excited and said that it ‘was the best one they ever did’. Dufus placed his I CLAVDIVS covers down and Mr. Blessed announced that it ‘was the best one they ever did’.

It came as no surprise to Shirt that, on being presented with a radio Sherlock Holmes cassette cover that Mr. Blessed decided that it ‘was the best one they ever did’.

Brian then completely confused Shirt by asking what his favourite sci-fi film was.

Shirt ummed-and-ahhed for a few seconds before realising the correct answer - "Flash Gordon" !.

Outside the shop the trio compared autographs. Chalky felt sorry for Michael Jayston, as Mr. Blessed had scrawled all over his name on his Trial of a Time Lord box set, but aside from that the trio decided that 7^th Galaxy’s Brian Blessed signing ‘was the best one they ever did’!

[AE]