Chalky and Shirt…

…Circular Logic.

A new year brought two things – the start of a new run of Large Endings’ double CDs and a DVD boxset. The former, “Circular Time” - four Fifth Doctor & Nyssa stories on a double CD (the collection that Ms. Sutton denied all knowledge of when Shirt mentioned it to her at Invasion VI ); the latter the “Return of the Master” trilogy, featuring the first stories of Nyssa, Tegan (with the logicians of Logopolis) and the Fifth Doctor respectively. A new year also brought a new batch of Seventh Galaxy signings. Initially, Janet Fielding was announced, signing the boxset; then Sarah Sutton for the CD; and finally the writers of the CD, Mike Maddox and Paul Cornell (the latter also being a writer for the new series). Ms. Sutton meant that Chalky was a definite (despite describing himself as strapped for cash due to his impending house move), and the presence of Mr. Cornell (another signature for his Series One poster) meant that so was Shirt.

Meeting at Waterloo, the two travelled along on the Jubilee Line and C2C services, cunningly avoiding the suspensions on the District Line (and ironically the Circle line) of which they were unaware. The queue had reached the escalators, and so whilst Chalky saved their place in the queue, Shirt went in to buy the requisite items. The queue inside the shop moved slowly (due to the cashiers seeming to have no idea what anything cost), and Shirt was highly amused by the woman in front of him’s attempts to buy her partner surprise presents being ruined by his popping back into the shop to speak to her (and suggest present ideas) every two minutes. Picking up the boxset, CD and latest Professor Bernice Summerfield audio, Shirt rejoined Chalky in the queue. Seconds later, Chalky left the queue to enter the shop, returning with the CD and having booked for the core group to go to Invasion VIII. On rejoining Shirt, he realised that he should have given Shirt’s address for the tickets, as hopefully his would be soon changing.

The queue was getting longer and longer, until it was completely blocking off the escalators. As expected a few minutes later, Little Ted appeared, and the queue was broken a few people behind Shirt. Getting bored, Chalky and Shirt sat on the marble floor exchanging “Battles in Time” cards. It seemed that Chalky needed far more than Shirt. Rares and even a Super Rare exchanged, they checked Dufus’ texted list, finding that Chalky had duplicates of four of them. This news conveyed to Dufus by text, Chalky went off in search of sustenance. Shirt meanwhile, sat sorting out his new cards, and putting his duplicates back into his folder.

“You’ve got the same hobby as me”, echoed a voice in Shirt’s ear.

He looked up to see a boy of about twelve, gesturing at his BiT cards.

‘Yes’, thought Shirt, ‘and so have almost everyone in this queue’

It turned out that the boy was not there for the signing, and was only out shopping with his family. He then proceeded to list the thirty-or-so cards that he still needed, whilst Shirt hoped that looking into the middle-distance would give the boy the message that he wasn’t interested.

“And Dalek Sec is back in the first episode of the next series”, the boy continued.

Sad fan that he is, Shirt couldn’t let this go.

“The Daleks are actually in Episodes 4 & 5”

“But they were in the trailer at the end of ‘The Runaway Bride’.”

“Yes, but the trailer was for the whole of the first part of Series 3”, said Shirt, slightly too sharply.

“Oh”, said the boy, briefly fazed, before asking, “When is Series 3 ?”.

Not being party to the decisions of the production team, Shirt chanced , “Easter?”, based on past experience.

Unfortunately (heavy irony), the boy’s mother reappeared at this point, and after confirming that he could not stay for the signing, they both left. A minute or so later, Chalky reappeared, to be berated for having ‘perfect timing’. Shirt then went in search of food, having to quickly walk the other way when he nearly walked into the boy again in ASDA.

At 12pm, wonders of wonders, the queue started moving….quickly. Eventually, having become frustrated at continually having to stand up and move their stuff along, the two decided to remain standing. At around 12.40pm, they reached the front of the queue outside and were beckoned in to the shop. Standing in the small queue, Shirt attempted to sort out his items for signing without dropping them. However, there was a brief hold-up whilst photos were taken for Seventh Galaxy’s website. The first photo was simple, with Paul Cornell, Mike Maddox and Large Endings’ composer, David Darlington in shot. However, the photo of Mademoiselles Fielding and Sutton proved more difficult. Ms. Fielding was unhappy with the lighting, with her expression in one, and four photos were taken before Janet finally stated “I give up !”, before adding, “I bet Cate Blanchett doesn’t have to put up with lighting like this”.

Whilst this was going on, Paul and David had been discussing who should play the Eleventh Doctor (should there be one).

“I think they should have that guy who played Tony Blair”, said David.

“What, Anthony Keetch”, said a perplexed Paul.

“No, Michael Sheen !”, David clarified.

“But he’s dead, isn’t he ?”, chipped in Janet, until it became clear that she thought that David had said Michael Sheard.

This brief interlude completed, first up was Paul Cornell. Having got his CD sleeve signed, Shirt put down his Series One poster and both Paul and David Darlington, marvelled at the number of signatures.

“Where should I sign ?”, asked Mr. Cornell.

“Over that slight silver mark where Mark Gatiss’ signature smudged”, said Shirt.

“Always covering Mark Gatiss’ mistakes”, commented Paul as he signed.

Next up was Shirt’s “The Shooting Scripts”, before he moved on to David.

As Mr. Cornell signed his CD cover, Chalky commented to Paul that he was pleased that they had named Nyssa’s love interest in one of the stories, Chalky. Having got his copy of Mr. Cornell’s novel “Human Nature” (the basis for Paul’s two Series 3 episodes) and “Series 1 Boxset” booklet signed, he also moved on to Mr. Darlington.

Shirt had now reached Mike Maddox, who was very self-deprecating about his involvement in the writing process – the plots are Paul’s, he wrote the first two and Paul the second two, but they both script-edited the other’s work, and the best story is Paul’s, to which he added very little. Both he and Mr. Cornell described themselves as pleased with the finished result.

Moving on, Shirt found himself before Ms. Sutton. Having proffered his CD cover whose lovely design was slowly being hidden, he then gave her his “Keeper of Traken” DVD cover and a “Four to Doomsday” video cover. Thanking her, he moved along to Janet, who had seized the “FtD” cover and was about to sign it.

“Do you want me to sign this ?”, she asked Shirt.

“I’m only allowed two other items..”, began Shirt looking at the shop assistant standing next to Janet.

“But how long have you been queuing ?”, Janet asked.

Shirt turned to Chalky for the answer – “About two-and-a-half hours”.

Janet signed the cover, her look at Shirt indicating that she would not take no for an answer. She then signed his “Logopolis” DVD cover, “The Gathering” CD cover (which she told Shirt that she did as it was Gary Russell’s last one), and a “The Awakening/Frontios” video cover.

Meanwhile, Chalky had got his “Circular Time” and “Wirrn: Race Memory” CD covers, signed by the lovely Ms. Sutton. Unfortunately, despite the episode over the video cover, Shirt had finished by this time, and so Chalky had to walk straight past Ms. Fielding.

“Haven’t you got anything for me to sign ?”, she demanded.

“Cash flow !”, said Chalky, choosing not to regale her with full details of his domestic circumstances, “I only had enough for the CD”.

“So, you like her better than me !”, asked Janet, gesturing at Sarah.

‘Yes’, thought Chalky and Shirt in unison, but neither said anything.

“Well, I think that’s really poor”, said Janet. Both Shirt and Sarah agreed with this.

Having been well-and-truly told off by Tegan, Chalky followed Shirt out of the shop in mock disgrace.

Having sorted their stuff out, the two returned to Barking Station, where they made their way to Mile End, then on the Central Line, Shirt to Tottenham Court Road and Naughty Asteroid; and Chalky to Oxford Circus then Victoria, as he and Tigger were going out with Maple that evening for her birthday. As they parted, it was agreed that it had been a great start to the signings year.

[PL]