Shirt...

...The Perks of the Job.

Having attended the first Seventh Galaxy Events/POD Autograph Show at the Slough hotel, Shirt was interested in the follow-up, particularly when a number of guests that he was interested in were announced – namely Thelma Barlow, Stephen Tompkinson, Annette Badland, Nabil Shaban and Derek Fowlds. However, as the weeks went on, Thelma & Derek were cancellations, but DW Movie and TV companion, Bernard Cribbins was added. As the weeks went on, various online discussions accused the organisers of ‘false advertising’ but even this didn’t change Shirt’s mind.

There was also to be a change of venue to a Leisure Centre in Stevenage, but Shirt was not fazed by this, having seen the Centre next to the Station when Stevenage had been the first stop of both trains that he had got in the past two months to go up to see Dufus for signing events. Dufus, however, was on holiday that weekend, so Shirt made his solitary way up to London, then Stevenage, spending the time listening to ‘Vortex Ice’, the first story in Large Endings’ most recent double-bill, featuring Colin Baker and Lisa Greenwood.

Shirt made his way to the centre to find a lack of signs to the signing area, but suddenly Hamble appeared and gestured to some stairs, indicating that the signings were downstairs. Despite it still being 10 minutes before the advertised start time, people were making their way into the hall where the signings were taking place. Five minutes later and Shirt was handing over his confirmation e-mail and being given his event wristband. He then joined another queue, to buy a special autograph ticket for Mr. Cribbins, and four normal autographs. (It seemed that unlike the previous year, the 5 for the price of 4 offer was only for advance bookings).

Shirt then went on a circuit of the hall, noticing the absence of Stephen Tompkinson in the signs over the signing tables which covered both side walls. As 10am rolled round, guests began arriving, sitting down and signing.

Shirt decided to start with Annette Badland, who happily signed his ‘Wizards Vs Aliens – Series 1’ DVD cover next to Dan Starkey.

Next up was Nabil Shaban, who signed the ‘Mindwarp’ art-print that Shirt had got Christopher Ryan to sign a year before, commenting on it as he did so.

Having been on another circuit of the hall, there was no sign of Bernard yet, but someone else that he wanted – Jeffrey Holland – was just taking his seat, commenting as he did so that it was on completely the other side of the hall to his wife, Judy Buxton.

Jeffrey is best known for playing the loveable camp comic, Spike Dixon in ‘Hi de Hi’, but it was for two of his other comedy roles that Shirt wanted to meet him – Inspector Lestrade in the Roy Hudd radio vehicle ‘The Newly Discovered Casebook of Sherlock Holmes’ and Doctor Wimpey in one of Russ Abbott’s Barratt Holmes sketches.

Picking up a photo of Jeffrey as Spike from the table, Shirt handed it over, where it was swiftly signed with a ‘Hi-de-Hi Shirt....’.

Putting £5 in the charity tin, Shirt posed for a photo with Jeffrey taken by his steward on Shirt’s tablet computer.

Moving off, Shirt found that Bernard was now at his table, and a medium-length queue had formed. He therefore joined this, noticing that photos with Bernard were also £5. However, he found that he had put his last £5 note in Jeffrey’s tin, and not wishing to put a £10 note in, there seemingly not being a float, spent his time gathering £5 in loose change, including a large number of 5 pence coins.

The queue seemed to fall into two camps – ‘Doctor Who’ fans and ‘The Railway Children’ fans (Sally Thomsett also being in attendance).

Finally he reached the front of the queue, getting an image of Bernard as ‘Wilf’ signed.

He then proceeded to place his large handful of coins on the table, where it was carefully counted into the tin by Bernard’s steward.

Moving round to the back of the signing table, he sat in the chair next to Bernard, whilst the steward struggled to take a photo on Shirt’s tablet. Having finally done so, the resulting photo turned out to be panoramic, with a long photo of the steward's finger and Shirt and Bernard crushed in the right hand corner. The steward tried again, with Bernard gesturing for her to ‘press the button’. Photo finally taken to Shirt’s satisfaction (with the angle making it look like Shirt was ‘photo-bombing’ Bernard), and he moved back round to the other side of the table, picking up his newly signed photo.

It being clear that Stephen was a ‘no-show’ (the second time that he had pulled out of an event that Shirt had attended in the past two months), meaning that Shirt’s Merrison covers would remain unsigned, Shirt decided to use his final autograph voucher to meet Clive Rowe, who seemed to be having a great time, happily signing a photo of himself from ‘Voyage of the Damned’.

Shirt then took the opportunity to sally forth into central Stevenage to get lunch, and visit a nearby comic book shop and a collectables stall in the Indoor Market (buying nothing at either). He returned to the station via the Leisure Centre, where the majority of guests were still on lunch, but purchased 5 MDW back-issues from the Seventh Galaxy stall. Stephen had not magically appeared and so he re-exited the hall, and five minutes later was waiting for a train to London. This came after about ten minutes, and Shirt settled back for the confusing completion of ‘Vortex Fire’. A third such event had been announced for November, with at least two guests with both a NuWho and ‘Sherlock’ connection promised. Shirt was most certainly considering attending.

[PL]