Shirt...

...Yes Jaime, That Is a Big Queue !!

Spring had sprung (allegedly), and so it was time for the ‘Spring Memorabilia’ in Birmingham, this year held in conjunction with MCM Comic Con Birmingham, one ticket providing entry to both. Shirt’s interest had been piqued by the announcement of ‘The Great Mouse Detective’ guest star, Shani Wallis, and his interest grew due to the announcement of Tony Curran (the titular ‘Vincent’ in “Vincent and the Doctor”), as well as several “Primeval” guests, including Lucy Brown who played both Claudia Brown and her sexier replacement Jenny Lewis.

Therefore using the travel vouchers that he had been given almost a year before due to his horrendously delayed journey to Prestatyn (see S... Is Very Camp in Wales), Shirt booked a train ticket to Birmingham International.

Getting to Euston in plenty of time for his train (in what would turn out to be his only instance of good timing for the whole day), Shirt settled back in his seat, listening to the final episode of 'The Burning Prince' and the first episode of its sequel ‘The Acheron Pulse’, as the countryside rushed past. The train arrived around five minutes late, and Shirt made his way from one side of the ENC complex to the other. On arriving he was directed to Hall 9, where a large queue had formed around the entire outside wall, waiting to buy tickets for standard 11am entry (as these could not be booked in advance). Shirt had a severe case of déjà-vu.

However the queue moved swiftly, and Shirt spent the twenty minute wait, listening to a podcast of Toby Hadoke interviewing Tony Osoba, and laughing at small children being scared by people dressed as Wookies and other alien creatures. Finally, he reached a payment window, was given an entry ticket, which he gave up a few yards further on at a checkpoint, his hand being stamped to show that he had paid. Walking to the far end, Shirt entered by Hall 11 (‘Memorabilia’) and quickly toured the ‘TV & Film’ signing area, deciding to come back for autographs there. Exiting the hall, he moved back to Hall 10 (‘MCM Comic Con’), where again he found the signing area, paid in advance for three autographs, moving away from the payment table just in time to see Tony Curran’s queue being cut off as he and Jaime Murray, who was signing next to him, had to go to a photoshoot.

Moving swiftly, Shirt moved to the tables on the other side of a screen, where he joined a queue for Andrew Lee Potts, Hannah Spearitt and Lucy Brown. Their photoshoot was the next one up, so the queue was cut two behind Shirt. A pattern emerged, everyone seemed to be getting Andrew and Hannah, and bypassing Lucy. However, having previously met Andrew and Hannah (even if still distracted from his meeting with the lovely Louise Brealey), and having seen someone else jump the queue just to meet Lucy, and being aware that time was running out, Shirt managed to catch the eye of the steward with Lucy, and indicated that he only wanted Ms. Brown. She gestured him over, and Shirt stepped over the rope barrier, selecting a photo of Lucy as ‘Jenny Lewis’, which Lucy happily signed, pleased at not being bypassed again. Thanking her profusely, Shirt wandered back through the Hall to the adjourning Hall 11.

Making for the ‘Spirit Sinema’ area, Shirt managed to get Ozzie Yue (Foreman in ‘The Angels Take Manhattan’) on his ‘Series 7A’ poster, Ozzie’s large signature in a prime spot belying his small role. Jimmy Vee was on a break, and so Shirt returned to the MCM Comic Con signing area, where Tony Curran had just begun signing again. The queue moved swiftly, and two giggling fangirls having met Mr. Curran, Shirt found himself placing down his ‘Series 5’ poster, which Tony signed with a flourish just above the signatures of his co-stars, Chrissie Cotterill and Nik Howden.

Shirt then joined a very long queue for Jaime Murray, star of ‘Hustle’, and several US shows. The queue moved very slowly, once it started moving, mainly due to some people getting her to sign upwards of five items. However, finally he reached her table to find a distinct lack of photos. A steward was explaining the problems that they were having printed more off, and there was a group waiting patiently for ‘Dexter’ images who had been there for almost half-an-hour. Shirt was briefly flummoxed at the lack of ‘Hustle’ images, and inwardly cursed himself for not bringing one of his DVD sleeves. Deciding that having waited so long, he did not want to wait any longer (particularly as it was lunchtime and his stomach was rumbling) and did not want to have to queue up all over again, he chose a ‘Warehouse 13’ image, which showed her looking more normal than the ‘Spartacus’ or ‘Defiance’ (in which she guest stars with Tony Curran) images.

“Can you sign it to Shirt, please ?”, he asked, placing the photo in front of her.

“Are you a ‘Warehouse 13’ fan ?”, asked Jaime.

Despite having only seen one episode on Pick TV, Shirt decided to go with “Yes”, rather than “No, but there’s no ‘Hustle’ images, I’ve queued up for almost an hour, and I desperately need to visit the nearby newsagent to buy overpriced snacks to feed my raging hunger, so can’t hang about any longer”.

Jaime’s response was to sign the photo, along with a quote from the series.

“That’s a quote from the series”, she told Shirt.

“I know”, lied Shirt, taking the photo from her and forcing a smile, before moving away in search of sustenance.

Hunger sated, Shirt popped out for a breath of fresh air, passing Jimmy Vee having a quick cigarette. A group of Manga schoolgirls appeared to be filming a Harlem Shake, but Shirt’s attention was drawn to several Cheerleaders with chainsaws. He then noticed an attendee who reminded him slightly of Leonard from ‘The Big Bang Theory’, but it wasn’t until a Sheldon, Amy and Bernadette followed him round the corner, that he realised that he was in costume (not as good as the gang’s efforts though).

Returning to Hall 10, Shirt found the day’s longest queue to meet three of the knights from ‘Merlin’, who were each offering one free autograph. Shirt decided not to bother, as he would be meeting Alexander Vlahos (Mordred) the next weekend at ‘Large Endings Day 3’. (On returning home, Shirt realised that one of the others, Rupert Young, plays Moriarty alongside Alexander and Nicholas Briggs in the Large Endings’ Dorian Gray/Sherlock Holmes crossover – ‘Ghosts of Christmas Past’).

Back to the ‘Spirit Sinema; area, and Jimmy Vee was back off his break, and signed Shirt’s ‘Series 4’ poster in recognition of his portrayal of spiky red alien Bannakaffalatta in ‘Voyage of the Damned’. Returning to the main signing area, passing two guests claiming to be Jeremy and Jemima from "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" (after four-and-a-half decades it was impossible for Shirt to be sure), Shirt managed to approach Shani Wallis’ table just as she was about to be whisked away for a photoshoot. However, after pleading with the steward next to her, he managed to slide his ‘TGMD’ cover in front of her, which she slowly signed ‘To Shirt’, whilst chatting away to Shirt who could see the steward’s stress levels slowly increasing, so attempted to help hurry her up.

Having got all the items signed that he wanted, Shirt trawled the many stalls, purchasing a solitary ‘Monster Invasion’ card (coincidentally of Bannakaffalatta), a DAPOL Sea Devil, publicity photos from ‘Elementary’ of Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu, and a photo of the lovely Louise Brealey.

Shirt then slowly made his way back to the station, where after a twenty minute wait, he caught his booked train, listening to the rest of ‘The Acheron Pulse’. As the scenery sped by as he wended his way home, Shirt mused on a day where he seemed to be ‘just too late’ for almost everything.

[PL]