Shirt...

...Makes Another Day of It.

Having enjoyed Large Endings Day 1, Shirt was keen to attend the second such event. However, Chalky was unable to accompany him this time (some rubbish about two young mouths to feed), but instructed him to contact him about any LE bargains.

The predicted heavy snow did not arrive, and so Shirt’s journey to the school in Barking was uneventful. Arriving half-an-hour before the event began, he queued for his event wristband, then made his way to the gym where sales were taking place. Having browsed all the stalls, and made a mental note of what he wanted, Shirt made contact with Chalky and having reeled out the prices took orders (the process being slightly held up by Chalky being vomited over by his young daughter). Phone put back in his pocket, Shirt began collecting his items together – Series 3 of “Jago and Litefoot” (an early birthday present from Chalky and Tigger), the first volume of “Blake’s 7: The Liberator Chronicles”, two Companion Chronicles - “Tales from the Vault” and “Beyond the Ultimate Adventure”, and two main range CDs – “Robophobia” and “Rat Trap”. Behind the table was LE writer/actor John Dorney, who happily took Shirt’s money. Items purchased, and Shirt got John to sign several covers, including Lost Story “The Elite”, “The Foe from the Future” and “Swan Song” (the latter involving Shirt struggling to open his newly acquired J&L boxset). Unfortunately although the stall had copies of John’s Sixth Doctor/Flip audio “The Fourth Wall”, Shirt’s subscriber copy had not arrived yet.

Next he searched for the items requested by Chalky, having found the two Companion Chronicles that he wanted – “Find and Replace” and “The Guardian of the Solar System”, he was only able to find two-thirds of the ‘Stockbridge Trilogy’. Cue a frantic search in boxes under the table by John and sound designer, Martin Montague for “Plague of the Daleks”. Having finally found it, Shirt found that he did not have enough cash to pay, and there was no card machine. He therefore put the CDs back and dashed out of the school to a nearby cashpoint, returning five minutes later where he picked them up again, adding “Lurkers at Sunlight’s Edge” to fit the ‘2 for £20’ offer on the main range. Having just about managed to stow these items in his bag also, Shirt looked around for people signing.

Seventh Doctor companion, Beth Chalmers, had just entered, and Shirt hovered just behind her until finally she sat down and he offered her his covers to sign, including the final Raine Lost Story, “Earth Aid” and two ‘Sherlock Holmes’ stories in which she appears as Mrs. Hudson. No-one else seemed to have started signing.

Shirt therefore made his way to the main hall where the first panel was taking place, featuring the day’s main draw as far as most attendees were concerned – Tom Baker and Louise Jameson – who were being interviewed by Toby Hadoke. GOD (or Tom) was his usual eccentric self, and had the attendees spellbound with his “naughtiness”. Panel completed, and Shirt made a quick dash for the room where the Fourth Doctor would be signing. The main rush was for the Photo Studio with Tom, and so Shirt managed to be third in the queue.

The Photo Studio took forty minutes, and Shirt spent the time sorting out his bag, having another telephone chat with Chalky, and in going back to reception to buy the autograph voucher that he needed for Tom.

David Warner was in the signing room, but several offers to the queue to go and get an autograph from him (which also cost) were met with indifference. Eventually he gave up and was on his way to the Green Room when someone who wanted his autograph turned up, and forced him to return for two minutes, then go again.

Finally, GOD swept past, and three minutes later, Shirt was proffering his “Fourth Doctor Lost Stories” boxset, which Tom signed on the outside below his picture. Moving off, and looking at the gigantic queue made up of all the Photo Studio attendees and those who had not been as quick to the signing queue, Shirt mused on having made the right decision in queuing immediately. He then made his way back to the gym, where he was pleased that Chalky was not there to tease him over his flirting with the lovely Lisa Bowerman, as she signed his “Jago and Litefoot” and “Blake’s 7” boxsets, as well as some Bernice Summerfield covers.

Next up was Anthony Howell, guest star of three recent releases, “The Valley of Death”, “The Renaissance Man” and “Blake’s 7: Solitary”, and his “Valley” co-star Jane Slavin (who also appeared in “The Paradise of Death”). Moving along, Shirt joined a queue for Paul Darrow, getting him to sign the “Liberator Chronicles Vol 1” boxset, “Rebecca’s World” CD sleeve, and “You’re Him, Aren’t You?” book.

Queues were beginning to grow due to attendees having finished meeting Tom, and so Shirt quickly joined queues for first Terry Molloy, and then Katy Manning. His final queue of the morning was for Louise Jameson, and Shirt became concerned that he would fail to meet her, as she was due to go for lunch, and the person three in front of him in the queue, put down every Leela DVD sleeve, all the CD sleeves from the Lost Stories boxset, several copies of the first two “Fourth Doctor Audio Adventures” sleeves, and all the Leela ‘Companion Chronicles’ sleeves for her to sign. However, with minutes to spare, he had Louise’s signature next to Tom’s on the boxset, on his “Jago and Litefoot” boxset, and on the first two stories of the “Fourth Doctor Audio Adventures”.

On his way to reception to go out and get some lunch, Shirt managed to get the signatures of around twenty LE authors on his own items and those purchased for Chalky, including the three authors of “The Liberator Chronicles: Volume 1” and his old friend, Tony Lee. He also demanded of someone sitting next to Marc Platt,

“Are you a LE author ?”

However, it turned out that he was just a friend of Marc’s.

Checking that he had not left anything, Shirt made his way out of the main entrance, and over the road to a local supermarket where he purchased lunch.

Returning to the hall, Shirt settled in for the first panel of the afternoon, which was about the “Blake’s 7 audios. Paul Darrow was on fine form, and the many guests were all crammed in around the table, but all managed to be heard. Next up was a “Bernice Summerfield” panel, in which there was good and bad news. The good news was that to celebrate Benny’s twentieth anniversary, there was to be a download-only portmanteau story for charity featuring friends past and present. The bad news was that the charity was ME support, as original Benny adapter, Jac Rayner, was suffering from it. Having not bought any Benny audios for a long time, Shirt found his interest re-energised.

Shirt then returned to the side-rooms, getting a few more signatures, including Justin Richards, and Nicholas Briggs in the gym. He also queued up to meet Beth Chalmers again, having forgotten that she was also in "The Curse of the Daleks" (but not before the man in front of him had ruined the plot of "To the Death" for him). Then he noticed Toby Hadoke, and having hovered behind him for several minutes trying not to interrupt a conversation that seemed to be with his wife, finally plucked up courage to speak to him.

“Could you sign my covers ?”, quavered Shirt.

“Of course”, answered the benevolent funnyman, “that is what today’s about”.

“Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf”, “Robophobia”, “Hexagora” and “Unintelligent Design” covers signed, and Shirt moved off again.

Returning to the main hall, Shirt was in time for the final panel of the day, about the “Fourth Doctor Audio Adventures”. This was very entertaining, and Shirt felt a great deal of sympathy for Justin Richards, who was commissioned to write a four part story, which on completion he was then told to cut down to two parts. To add insult to injury, he had also been told to include a very random incident, suggested by Tom himself, involving a bizarre telephone call.

Panel completed, and LE stalwarts Nick, David and Paul, having waved everyone goodbye, Shirt made his way back to Barking Station, still weighted down by the number of covers, boxsets and CDs in his bag. As he slowly wended his way home, he was already looking forward to Large Endings Day 3 !!

Postscript: At home Shirt found his subscriber copy of “The Fourth Wall” had been delivered two hours after he had left. His response is unprintable.

[PL]