Doctor Who audio merchandising was not content with already having the Large Endings range of releases (Doctor Who, Benny Summerfield, Dalek Empire etc), VVB's spin-off CDs (Monsters, the Professor and Ace, K9 etc), Soldiers of Love (featuring Colin Baker, Nicholas Courtney, Sarah Sutton, Jan Chappel, Michael Keating and Gareth Thomas), and the CCB's own range of 'lost' soundtracks (Galaxy Four, The Celestial Toymaker and The Daleks' Masterplan, to name but a few).

No, it was not content. Some bright spark thought it would be a great idea to further deplete the monetary possessions of gullible fans by releasing the first in an ongoing range of new spin-off CDs. These ones would be based on the ever-popular Doctor Who story 'The Robots of Death' and feature a range of actors from both Doctor Who and Blake's 7. Not only that, but the stories would be set in the worlds created by Chris Boucher in his 'The Robots of Death' and Blake's 7 episode, 'Weapon' and continued in the novel Corpse Marker.

The CDs were to have the umbrella title of 'Kaldor City' and to promote it's release, 7th Galaxy were hosting a galaxy of stars: Paul Darrow, Peter Miles and Peter Tuddenham. Also to be in attendance were Patricia Merrick, the writers of the CD and sound designer (and moonlighter) extraordinaire, Alastair Lock.

Fate, however, had it in for poor old Dufus this month. On a visit up North (Midlands! North! Midlands!) to see his mother, Mrs. Dufus, Dufus had, unfortunately, had his car broken into. The thieves had totally mullered the locks and steering column and so Dufus had to leave the car in a garage to be repaired and return South in a courtesy car.

The bad luck continued when it transpired that Dufus would have to return up North (Midlands! North!!!!) to collect the car on the very weekend that Mr. Darrow and company would be appearing at 7th Galaxy.

And so it was that Chalky and Shirt were again laden with Dufus's covers for Mr. Darrow, as well as Mr. Miles, Mr. Tuddenham and Miss Merrick. Or to be more precise, Chalky, was laden with Dufus's covers - a fact which would be very important to later events.

Chalky and Shirt travelled up to London and met with Lupine at 7th Galaxy. Having bought the CD and a few other items of delectation, they joined the queue.

In time, they were standing in front of the very long table behind which sat the plethora of stars.

Lupine moved through first and managed to retain his composure and sanity. Then came Chalky…

First up was Paul Darrow - the legendary Avon, Tekker and…um…Captain Hawkins. At this point, Chalky, although confused by all the covers he had, was still just about holding it together. He managed to get a couple of Blake's 7 covers signed by Mr. Darrow for both himself and Dufus (as well as, obviously, the Kaldor City CD cover).

After Mr. Darrow sat Alastair Lock. Chalky thrust a couple of covers in front of him - including is best-known work 'Dust Breeding' in which he plays a reanimated corpse to perfection.

He had also brought along the hilarious 'Oh No It Isn't', in which Mr. Lock played the terrible villain - the Grel Leader!

However, Mr. Lock went all Raymond Cusick for a moment and managed to sign the cover (on the inside fortunately) to Dufus!!!! And Dufus wasn't even there!!!!!!!!! Go figure. (Of course, Chalky didn't discover this little cock-up until he was home.

Moving along he came to Mr. Peter Miles - star of Genesis of the Daleks, Doctor Who and the Silurians, Invasion of the Dinosaurs and,…um…Paradise of Death.

Still managing to hold it together, Chalky was though beginning to show signs of the catasterous disastrophe that was about to occur.

Instead of giving Mr. Miles all of Dufus' and then all of his own covers, Chalky proceeded to give him one of each in an alternating pattern. Mr. Miles managed to keep up though and Chalky moved on to…

…Peter Tuddenham. And here it all fell apart.

Consequently, Chalky got Dufus's Masque cover signed to himself and gave Mr. Tuddenham Dufus's The Ark in Space instead. Justice would prevail however… Chalky then gave Mr. Tuddenham, Dufus' 'The Way Back/Space Fall', Blake's 7 cover - which was a bit silly as Mr. Tuddenham doesn't actually feature in either of those episodes. Ah well…

Getting back home later, however, Chalky would find that his Count Federico deviousness with The Masque of Mandragora had not paid off when it transpired that Mr. Tuddenham had used a really duff pen for signing the covers and it had all but rubbed off. Darnit!

But back to the signing.

After Mr. Tuddenham, came the delightful Miss Patricia Merrick, star of many a BBV production including Eye of the Beholder and Auton 2: Sentinel.

Clearly delighted that Chalky knew who she was she happily signed both his and Dufus's covers. As she chatted it transpired it was her birthday in a couple of weeks.

Chalky decided to go one better.

"I can go one better," he said. "It’s my birthday on Monday."

"Oh well," replied Miss Merrick. "That deserves a birthday kiss then!"

And with that she promptly stood up, leant across the table and gave Chalky not one but TWO kisses on the cheeks (and he ain't saying which cheeks).

Reeling with ecstasy Chalky stumbled on to the writers of the CD and some bloke who was a bit part actor in it (ah, bless). Having been knocked for six by Miss Merrick, Chalky was an easy target for the hard sales technique of the bloke selling cheap Blake's 7 spin-off cassettes. That said, Lupine had been a fairly easy target and Miss Merrick hadn't gone anywhere near his hairy cheeks…

Chalky's pleasure was further compounded by the rare opportunity to fire a Blake's 7 Liberator gun thing.

"Go on, you know you want to…" tempted the devious, "Childcatcher-from-Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang-like" man…

Chalky threw caution to the wind and delighted at the light-up action of the device (once he'd located the button, that is).

Shirt was moving up behind quietly. He eventually reached Miss Merrick too and was nonchalantly getting his stuff signed when a rubber band that Miss Merrick was playing with went AWOL and fired itself straight at Shirt's face.

Miss Merrick, all apologetic - and obviously gagging for it after kissing the ultra-sexy Chalky - leant over the table again and kissed Shirt better on his cheek (and again, he ain't saying which cheek).

Shirt managed to resist the temptation of the Blake's 7 cassettes (deciding it would be cheaper to borrow Chalky's) and joined the others outside.

All done, the trio, Chalky and Shirt still reeling from their magical encounters, staggered home.

In a rare opportunity, you can also read about this monumentous occasion from the other side of the table.

Read Jim Smith's (co-writer of Kaldor City: Occam's Razor) account of the signing at: