Shirt…

...and the Katy “Master”-plan

GEOFFREY	SHIRT	KATY

Seventh Galaxy announced a triple header to celebrate the release of three Doctor Who audios - "Marco Polo", a "Dalek CD Boxset" and the final in Large Endings' villain trilogy - "Master". The guest list ran: Anneke Wills, Deborah Watling, William Russell, Ziena Merton, Roy Skelton, Ray Cusick, Geoffrey Beevers and Joseph Lidster. The presence of Mr. Beevers who had been a guest star with both Shirt's favourite Holmes' (Merrison and Brett), meant that Shirt was keen to attend, having not got Mr. Beevers' mark on his covers on his previous meetings.

"The queue will be massive", moaned Chalky declining the chance to meet the above DW luminaries (again), adding "..and I'm not going for the third week running".

Shirt having already attended Seventh Galaxy three weeks running decided to make it four in a row.

A few days prior to the signing, an exciting announcement was made, not only would the above named stars be appearing, but later the same day, Third Doctor companion, Australian resident, and all-round mad woman, Katy Manning, would also be signing. Chalky remained unconvinced, but Shirt realising that he could meet Katy without buying anything extra (as he was intending to purchase the promoted DVD a few weeks later to meet Merrison's second Lestrade, and WHOs first Omega, Stephen Thorne), found new resolve to attend.

It was therefore, only Shirt that wended his way up to Seventh Galaxy. His cunning plan was to arrive later than usual, just as the queue started moving, believing that the queue would move quickly. WRONG !!! On arrival the queue was longer than expected, and Shirt found himself by the lifts round the corner from the shop, with a couple of hundred people in front of him. The queue had not started moving, despite it being 12.30pm. Shirt settled down on the cold floor, listening to Radio 4 Sherlock Holmes episodes on his walkman. At around 12.45pm, the queue started moving. However, it was gone 1pm before the movement reached Shirt, and he moved several millimetres.

Two hours in and Shirt had run out of cassettes, and so had to put up with the conversation of the two fans several places behind him. This conversation seemed to involve one of the two speaking enthusiastically about Large Endings' releases (save "Holy Terror", which he didn't buy because it had Frobisher in, and he couldn't consider the possibility of a penguin companion), with those with a plethora of continuity references (anything by Gary Russell then) coming in for special praise. Shirt was amused though by his full description of "Deadline", in particular the ending, in a loud voice, which annoyed a large number of people around them, whose newly bought copies were clearly visible through the transparent Seventh Galaxy bags. However, the man's attempts to explain to his companion who second Unbound Doctor, David Warner was, began grating on Shirt.

"Have you seen 'The Omen' ?"

"No."

"Oh…………..Have you seen 'Straw Dogs' ?"

"Yes".

"Well, he's in that !"

"Which part ?"

"I'm not sure………He's in one of the 'Star Trek' films, he plays that Klingon leader"

"Oh yes, but with all that make-up, I don't think I'd recognise him."

At this point, Shirt just about managed to control himself enough not to shout at them,

"He's in 'TRON', 'Time Bandits', 'Titanic', that thing with the bloke from 'Holby City' that was on a couple of months ago"

Two-and-a-half hours in, and Shirt was only a little way down the side-bit, where the friends normally joined the queue. The queue seemed to have stalled with only an occasional DW celebrity rushing to the toilet forming entertainment. It seemed that a rule was operating - "No Debbie, you can't go to the toilet until Geoff comes back!". Hope began waning at this point.

Three hours in, and some good news. The queue was moving again, but Ms. Watling needed to leave. Therefore, the good lady was to be moving down the queue, signing proffered items. Producing his "Tomb of the Cybermen" cover, and placing it on the clipboard carried by the accompanying shop staff member, Shirt gained the signature he wanted from the non-Geoffrey Beevers' guests. The queue began moving quicker, suggesting that it might have been Debbie holding it up, and Shirt noticed another queue forming against the other wall of people leaving the shop after meeting the guests, and getting ready for Ms. Manning.

Three-and-a-half hours in, and Shirt reached the front of the queue. He was waved in, and stood about, trying not to make eye-contact with William Russell or Zenia Merton for whom he had no items, as he waited for his turn to meet Geoffrey. Mr. Russell seemed in fine form, offering free signed "Coronation Street" publicity photos to anyone who got anything else signed by him. Finally, Shirt reached Mr. Beevers. Proffering first his own "Master" cover, then his Merrison cassette cover, Shirt chatted aimlessly to the great man. Then offering a "Master" cover for Chalky, he got his Brett cover signed also. Mr. Beevers seemed impressed that Shirt was getting him to sign an umpteenth "Keeper of Traken" cover or a shot of the decaying Master. Thanking Geoffrey, Shirt moved on to author of "Master", Joseph Lidster (who looked about 12). Deciding not to pass on his opinion of Mr. Lidster's previous audio, "The Rapture", Shirt got the two "Master" covers signed. Leaving quickly and skating round the Dalek guests (but managing to stare fixedly at duffer, Ray Cusick), Shirt exited the shop, and looking at the length of the queue for Katy, decided to get something to eat quickly.

Having grabbed some refreshment, and bringing it back to the centre, Shirt found himself in another (albeit shorter) queue. This queuing experience turned out to be a less frustrating experience, mainly due to two new friends, both from the mythical land "The North", that Dufus keeps going on about. One, let's call him Steel, turned out to have been the first person in the gigantic CD queue earlier, having arrived at the centre at 9.30am due to having been staying a friend's house nearby (that said, he'd waited almost as long as Shirt). It also turned out that he had been given the money to come down from Stoke for the signings by his wife (Shirt made a mental note to advise Chalky to start training Tigger in a similar manner). The other, let's call him Silver, came from Dufus' neck of the woods, namely just outside Birmingham. Anecdotes were exchanged about events attended, with both Shirt and Steel being jealous of Silver's youthful attendance at an event in the centre of Birmingham in which he got a plethora of Patrick Troughton and Janet Fielding autographs. The production of a Peter Haining tome signed by Patrick, Jon Pertwee, Ian Marter, and Michael Craze amongst others, only served to harden the "hate".

It seemed that Silver had never met Katy, and so Shirt and Steel attempted to scare him with tales of her "scattiness". It was at this point that Shirt found that once again he was close to someone who didn't buy any of the Large Endings' audios, preferring to spend his hard earned money on commemorative plates, laser etched blocks, cruet sets and Dalek table lighters. All was not lost though, he admitted buying "Chimes of Midnight" at an event to meet India Fisher (said in a tone that suggested he wanted to meet her for the obvious reason[s]), and therefore was welcomed back to the fold. Silver and Shirt found a common liking for Rob Shearman stories, and agreed that Colin Baker really gets the chance to shine on audio. Shirt also learnt that a journalist friend of Silver's who had recently interviewed Colin, stated that ten minutes chatting to him cures all ills.

At just after five, a bedraggled, manic figure rushed past the queue, blowing kisses to her awaiting public. Yes, SHE had arrived. Finally finding her way to the shop doorway, she entered and about ten minutes later, the queue started moving…slowly. The delay was due to everyone having to buy their items on the way in, due to them not being available prior to joining the queue. Nearing the doorway, the three discussed the new series. DOCTOR WHO IS COMING BACK - HURRAH !!! Having got over the "they should get Paul McGann" and "it mustn't contradict continuity" hurdles with Steel, the three had an excited discussion about casting and stories. This topic area exhausted, Steel revealed that he had once been straight-man to Tollmaster, and Liverpudlian wag, Ken Dodd, to great respect from Shirt and Silver.

Finally at just after six, the three reached the front of the queue. Steel was the first to meet Katy, recounting to her an anecdote about the last time he met her, and what she wrote on his photo making his wife jealous. Eager to please, Katy signed a new photograph to both of them, but with a similarly flirty message. Katy happily posed for a photograph with Steel, taken by one of the newer members of Seventh Galaxy staff. Shirt was next, proffering his "Three Doctors" DVD cover (a month before the rest of the package) and an "Excelis Dawns" cover. Katy was her usual chatty self, and grabbed Shirt tightly for the inevitable photo. Leaving the shop, Steel and Shirt waited for Silver to emerge, which he did a few minutes later, looking shell-shocked. Walking to the station together, the three caught a District Line train together, sitting in tired silence. Shirt was the first to leave the train, promising to look out for the other two at Memorabilia in Birmingham at the end of the month, before heading for his overground train to wend his way home, following a mammoth day.

[PL]