Shirt…

...and Missing Parts

PETER	A CYBERMAN	SHIRT

Seventh Galaxy had arranged for Peter Davison to attend for a signing of the new Large Endings’ audio, “Spare Parts”, which featured the return of those tin-foil terrors, the Cybermen. Chalky, Dufus, Enigma, Lupine and Tigger were otherwise engaged, being too lazy to get up, in Birmingham, uncontactable, low on funds, and in Canada, respectively. Therefore, it was the lone figure of Shirt that traipsed up to Barking. There being the usual array of line closures, it was 11am before Shirt finally reached Seventh Galaxy.

Going inside there proved to be a distinct lack of “Spare Parts” CDs (and also “WDM Third Doctor Specials”).

“The CD’s still being pressed”, Big Ted told him, “But we’ve got covers that you can get signed today”.

Paying £13.99 for a CD cover, and ensuring that Little Ted recorded his details to ensure that a copy of the CD was reserved for him without further payment, Shirt exited the shop and joined the queue which already stretched back to the café. After a few minutes, Big Ted appeared, and asked Shirt and those behind him to cross to the mural opposite. This they did, in a crablike fashion to prevent people getting out of order.

Shirt then attempted to contact Chalky on his mobile, having promised to pick up a copy of “Spare Parts” for him, and feeling that just a cover would not be enough. However, inexplicably Chalky’s mobile seemed to be switched off. However, on the plus side, it did enable Shirt to listen several times to Chalky’s “highly amusing” voicemail greeting, themed around “The Littlest Hobo”. In order to pass the time, Shirt listened to his recently purchased “Plague Herds of Excelis” (the latest in the Large Endings’ Bernice Summerfield audio range, and the coda to the “Excelis Trilogy”).

Finally, ON TIME, at 12pm, the queue began moving, and soon Shirt was back standing by the café, behind a young married couple, that Shirt had seen at numerous previous signings. Hamble came out of the shop, and began speaking to the couple, “accidentally” brushing the breast of the young girl, as he indicated something with his hands (a likely story!). Then Big Ted reappeared indicating with both hands that it was “one personal item”. Shirt pointed out that two fingers were being displayed (albeit on two hands), but Big Ted ignored this.

Getting even closer to the front of the queue, only twenty minutes after the signing began, Shirt again tried unsuccessfully to contact Chalky. Entering the shop, Shirt joined the short queue in front of Peter. A few minutes, two CD covers, and a few words, later, he was again standing in the shopping centre. Looking at his watch, Shirt was surprised that it was only 12.30pm, a new record.

Wending his way to Chalky’s via various charity-shops, bargain bookshops, and claustrophobic second-hand bookshops (on the hottest day of the year), Shirt mused on whether it had all been worth it. On reflection, he decided the day had been “EXCELLENT!!!”.

[PL]