Shirt...

...and the Adventure of the Literary Agent's Great-Nephew

It was to be Shirt’s third attendance at ‘The Sherlock Holmes Society of London’s Annual Dinner at the House of Commons. Shirt had made the decision not to apply for a ticket this year, but the announcement of the guest speaker – Steven Moffatt, speaking in his role as co-creator of “Sherlock” – made him change his mind. Therefore, a dinner-jacketed Shirt made his way up to Westminster, and having negotiated the security checks (after having to try all pockets to find his invitation card), walked though the empty halls to a room next door to the Members Dining Room, where the pre-meal bar was running.

Picking up a Coke, Shirt mingled with other members, before chatting away to a very nice chap about his thoughts on the first episode of the second series of “Sherlock”, which had aired six days before, and the second Robert Downey Jr. ‘Sherlock Holmes’ film.

“So how long have you been a fan of Sherlock Holmes ?”, asked the man.

“Over twenty years”, replied Shirt, adding “and you ?”.

“Well, I’m a member of the Doyle family, I get invited each year”, revealed Shirt’s new friend, going on to add that he was Richard Doyle, the Great Nephew of Watson’s ‘literary agent’, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Shirt was just relieved that his answers had been diplomatic, and had shown appropriate reverence for the work of his ancestor.

Making excuses and moving around the room, Shirt passed Nicholas Briggs and Richard Dinnick, and noticed that the guest(s) of honour had arrived, both Mr. Moffatt and Mr. Gatiss (as well as “Sherlock” producer, Sue ‘Mrs. Steven Moffatt’ Vertue). Having finished his drink, Shirt moved back to the bar, picking up another Coke and a glass of white wine to be drunk with his meal.

Ten minutes later, a member of staff was bashing a bottle on the wooden panelling to indicate that it was time for diners to take their seats. Shirt found his seat directly inside the first door, and found that he had been seated next to Tony Lee, creator of ‘The Baker Street Irregulars’ graphic novels and long-time main writer of the IDW “Doctor Who” comic books. Grace been said in Latin and everyone having taken their seats, the starters of Stilton pate with pears were served.

This consumed, Shirt had a long chat with Tony and his wife about The Baker Street Irregulars’ books, the last two of which he had received through the post that morning. Having revealed that he is a Probation Officer, Shirt gave his view of the recent “Public Enemies” drama, featuring Anna Friel as a Probation Officer who falls in love with one of her offenders, which is unprintable.

He then introduced himself to the couple opposite, the wife of which, originally came from Florida, and so spent several holidays as costumed characters at Disney World, including the unusual pairing of Snow White and Queen Amidala, meeting Natalie Portman when dressed as the latter. Talk then turned to the first episode of Series 2 of “Sherlock”, with the female members of the table, particularly enjoying the implied romance with the ice-cool Ms. Adler.

The main course was Duck Breast with potatoes, which was swiftly followed by pudding of Coconut Parfait (‘Everyone loves parfait!!’) with cinnamon sponge and rum toffee. Talk turned to ‘The Muppets’, as well as the variety of ___-alonga screenings run at the Prince Charles Cinema (eg. chant-alonga-‘Wicker Man’). The meal was ended with coffee and chocolates, and following a large number of ‘parish notices’, and a toast to the Queen, it was time for Mr. Moffatt.

Speaking entirely without notes, the assembled throng were entranced by a live version of MDW’s ‘Production Notes’ but about “Sherlock”. His speech was too full of highlights to list, but Shirt particularly enjoyed his labelling of Society members as ‘fundamentalists’, his Nigel Bruce impression, his describing Mr. Gatiss as his “other wife” and “Victoriana personified “ (‘He even arrived in a hansom cab!’), and most amusingly his horror at the novelisation of and eventually film of “The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes” featuring both a naked woman and a love affair for Holmes (You’d never see that in “Sherlock” !!!). Having initially forgotten the toast to “the immortal memory” of the Great Detective, he soon put this right, and following a speech from Society member, Nicholas Utechin, and a toast to Doctor Watson, the evening came to an end.

Shirt and Tony parted company, with Tony promising to “buy Shirt a pint” at the next WHO convention that they both attended. (Shirt decided not to mention that as he drinks white wine, that would be very expensive). Retrieving his coat from the cloakroom, Shirt made his way into the cold January air, wending his way home, still chuckling at Mr. Moffatt’s bravura performance.

[PL]