Chalky, Dufus & Shirt…

…Survival of the Bannermen

(or…Who? Ray! It’s Sara!)

Chalky’s letter was only the start of it, one letter and now he’s a part of it…..

Chalky was very very very very very very very very very very very very very excited…

Seventh Galaxy had announced they were going to get Will Barton to the shop to sign the DVD release of Survival…

Oh, and SARA GRIFFITHS was going to be at the same signing marking the release of her recent performance in new Large Endings audio adventure, I.D.

Sara Griffiths! Nearly-companion Sara Griffiths! Ray from “Delta and the Bannermen” Sara Griffiths! Welsh Girl from the Valleys on a motorbike looking for ‘Bil-lee’ (not that one!) Sara Griffiths!

Yay!

“Delta and the Bannermen” was Chalky’s all time favourite story ever ever ever (much to the chagrin of the rest of fandom who were constantly being reminded of its many merits by Chalky on various internet message boards (although his days of bating the narrow-minded fans of rec.arts had long since past…bloomin’ ****ers [Stop it! Ed]).

Sara Griffiths had played Ray, a character written as a potential replacement for soon to depart Mel Bush, played by Bonnie Langford. In the end the companion role went to the other nominee, Ace/Dorothy Gale McShane/Dorotheé in the following story "Dragonfire". But Ray still held a special place in many a fans heart for what could have been (although a gun-toting, leather clad Ray in the New Adventures doesn’t bear thinking about…then again…leather clad……).

Also at this signing were to be Will Barton and Sakantula Ramanee, Midge and Shreela from Survival, along with model effects supreme of both classic and new Who, Mike Tucker. When Sylvester McCoy was unable to make the recent Invasion convention (see CDS…Invasion VII) he was added to the guest list for the Survival signing.

This addition meant that the friends expected a long queue as usual for a DVD + Doctor signing…and they weren’t wrong.

Dufus, recognising the significance of the appearance of Miss Griffiths, journeyed down from Tamworth to accompany Chalky and Shirt. Whilst waiting for Chalky, Dufus and Shirt scoured Waterloo Station for “The Western Mail”, the newspaper of Wales, as it was giving away free DW posters. Scottish, Irish, American and French newspapers were found, but no Welsh ones. The trio thus reunited, they made their way to Seventh Galaxy.

On arrival, they found a queue which was already reaching the lifts around the corner from the usual queue line! Chalky jumped into the queue to secure a place and Shirt and Dufus disappeared off to the shop to purchase the requisite goods. Chalky quickly phoned Tigger to inform her he would be late back (they were moving to the Tigger-in-Laws that weekend, still waiting for their house move to go through) and then waited.

Shirt appeared forthwith and Chalky pootled off to the shop. Inside he grabbed a few items: Benny audio, “The Empire State”; 7^th Doctor Large Endings audio, “Nocturne” (mainly because Chalky had singularly failed to remember to actually bring anything for Sylvester McCoy to sign!); “I.D.” the Sara Griffiths-starring audio and the “Survival” DVD. Dufus was at the end of the short till queue and Chalky joined it behind him.

As they stood there, they were surprised to see Hamble walk into the shop with Lisa Bowerman on his arm. Both exchanged glances and when they were out of earshot commented on the fact that Lisa was supposed to be appearing up the road at The What Shop with Sophie Aldred (also signing the “Survival” DVD). Hamble walked back past them and Dufus, with all the subtlety of a Slitheen after a curry, asked him what the deal was with Lisa. It transpired he hadn’t poached her from his rival, but that she was doing him a favour by signing mail order copies of the DVD before going to her other appointment. He promised that, if possible, she would come down the queue to quickly sign items before leaving.

Whilst standing in the queue waiting for the others, Shirt’s attention was drawn to a fan several places in front of him in the queue, who was droning on in a monotonous voice to another fan about how busy a week he had had.

‘Too busy to go out and buy some Clearasil’, thought Shirt looking at the fan’s complexion.

“On Monday, I went to an after-show party in the West End”, the fan was saying, “there were several people with ‘Doctor Who’ connections there”.

He paused, expecting to be asked ‘Who?’

When this didn’t happen, he checked that he had been understood.

“I was mixing with the actors, and there were drinks and canapés”

The other fan continued to look unimpressed.

Realising that he was ‘sowing seed on stony ground’, the fan moved on in the week, describing in detail everything he had done or found out about the series or upcoming merchandise. The only thing that interested Shirt was that there is to be a “Doctor Who: The Visual Dictionary”. The other fan remained unmoved, and so the show-off moved back to his place further up the queue. Having bought their items, Dufus and Chalky rejoined Shirt in the queue.

After a while, Dufus disappeared off to find a watch repair shop. Having been directed to one at the train station, which he then found to be closed, Dufus returned to the shopping centre to find one not far from where they had been standing. With a few trips to ASDA for sustenance, the gang waited patiently for the signing to begin.

A recent regular attendee of the female variety, Dungarees, appeared to be moving down the queue giving a message. Quite what had elevated her to the status of unofficial Seventh Galaxy employee remains to be explained, but she duly told the waiting throng that Lisa Bowerman had to return to her original appointment but would be back around 4 o’clock for anyone who wanted to wait, or return later for her autograph on their “Survival” DVDs.

A father and son, Brett and Hardwicke, standing behind the gang in the queue noticed Shirt take out his Battles in Time annihilator cards and asked if the boys had any to swap. Shirt engaged the young Hardwicke in conversation about which cards he had whilst Chalky chatted to Brett. Shirt struggled to actually ascertain which cards Hardwicke needed failing to fully understand the mindset of a six year old (although Dufus and Chalky were surprised at this…). With no cards actually being exchanged, Hardwicke returned to drawing Doctor Who cards using his Doctor Who Adventures free felt tip pens.

Eventually, the queue began to move and the gang slowly made their way towards the shop. Halfway down the queue, Shirt disposed of his plastic bag in the bin. A little while later he suddenly realised that he no longer had the batteries he needed for his digital camera. Dufus and Chalky watched in amusement as he returned to the bin to see if the batteries could be retrieved from the plastic bag he had just thrown away. Hilariously, they couldn’t, so Shirt disappeared off to spend another whole POUND on new batteries.

Before long, the trio were at the front of the queue. Having been so far back initially, the gang were aware that the dreaded lunchtime may strike just before they were due to go in. Only two at a time were being allowed in. Double Agent signalled for two and Dufus disappeared inside with a complete stranger (ooer). Chalky and Shirt waited nervously aware that Dufus may be the last allowed in before the lunch break. Soon, though, they were put out of their misery and allowed in, although it quickly transpired that they were the last two to be granted access before lunch struck.

The queue moved slowly round inside the shop until the gang were getting items signed by the guests.

Chalky presented Will Barton with the "Survival" DVD and then his “How Do You Want Me?” DVD (a kind birthday present the previous year from Shirt). Will was surprised to see evidence of his comedy role and asked if Chalky liked it. He said he did, but that Tigger hated it because she didn’t like all the horrible things which happened to Dylan Moran’s main character – usually perpetuated by Will Barton’s character and his other football mates. Will admitted that they were often quite horrid to Dylan’s character. Mention was not made of the scene where Will was strapped, naked, to the top of a land rover !

Moving on to Sakantula Ramanee, Chalky got both his “Survival” DVD and video covers signed.

Sylvester McCoy was up next and clearly desperate for a lunch-break which left him a little grumpy. Quickly moving on from having his “Survival” and “Nocturne” CD cover signed, Chalky shoved the DVD cover under Mike Tucker’s nose and then (having forgotten to bring anything else for him) gave him the “Survival” video cover and then moved on. Dufus was next, getting two copies of “Survival” signed, having previous already bought it. He managed to get them all signed correctly, but became so confused that he failed to get Ms. Ramanee in his “The Eighties”. Shirt was ensuring no such mistakes were made, with his “The Eighties” being the first item that he thrust at Sakantula. DVDs, and video covers signed, they also moved on.

At the end of the table was the object of Chalky’s desire, Sara Griffiths. Presenting her with his “I.D.” CD cover, he then gave her the holy grail of Doctor Who, “Delta and the Bannermen”. As she signed it, he declared it to be his favourite story of all time, for it was, and Sara seemed most impressed by this. Shirt piped up that Chalky would sign the petition to make Ray an official companion and with that Sara’s eye lit up. Shirt hovered with his camera, and Chalky asked if he could have a photograph with Sara. She agreed immediately and then sprang up to take her place beside Chalky. Instructing Shirt to take a second photograph in case the first one didn’t come out, she thanked Chalky and he thanked her and they parted company.

Skipping out of the shop, walking on sunshine and lighter than air, Chalky joined Shirt and Dufus.

They wended their way on to the trains and then parted company at Temple – Chalky to return to Tigger to help pack up their worldly goods, whilst Dufus and Shirt got off the train to make their way to the BBC shop at Bush House, to see if there were any bargains to be had in their closing-down sale.

Shirt had a vague idea where Bush House was, and strode out purposefully. As they crossed the first road, a group of young American tourists pushed past them. Shirt was very taken by one girl’s T-Shirt – “Good Morning is an oxymoron”.

“We should buy that for Chalky”, he told Dufus, having explained what an oxymoron is.

Dufus looked thoughtful for a minute.

“Very good, what a witty American”, he said, pausing exactly the right length of time before adding, “that’s an oxymoron too !”

Shirt was pleased that his efforts to school Dufus in the art of comedy had not been wasted.

After a lot of “it’s just up here” from Shirt, they finally found Bush House, but with their usual sense of direction had to walk round three sides of it to get to the shop. There were very few items left, but Dufus went away with two “Torchwood” CDs (£8 each), a “DW Files: Mickey” book, a Tony Hancock CD and some empty cassette and CD cases.

The two then walked down the Strand, pausing to pop into the Punch Middle where Dufus bought a small Talking “Death to the Daleks” Dalek, getting a 10% discount for mentioning Inbox Skaro. Their Seventh Galaxy bags giving them away, they spoke to the owner about the morning’s signing. Leaving the shop, they continued down to Charing Cross Station. Looking at their watches, 3.30pm, they decided not to dash back for Lisa Bowerman. Instead they travelled to Oxford Circus, where they found the other BBC shop closed for the day.

“We could have gone to Lisa”, mumbled Shirt.

However, there was good news – whilst Dufus was queuing in Waders to buy a drink, Shirt who was waiting outside noticed two copies of “The Western Mail” outside an adjacent newsagent. These did not contain the advertised DW-themed magazine (presumably only available in Wales), but did have the double-sided Martha/Dalek Sec posters. Having convinced the man at the counter that he did want two copies, Shirt purchased these, waving one at Dufus through the window of Waders.

Returning to Charing Cross, the two caught a train to Greenwich, where they were to see a critically acclaimed production of "The Hound of the Baskervilles" starring Peter Egan and Philip Franks. The plan was to pick up the tickets, then do some “Dimensions in Time” location spotting. Shirt had a small map showing where the theatre was, but still found it difficult to find, particularly as he was distracted by a second-hand bookshop and a bargain bookshop on the way, Dufus buying a book at the latter (Is anyone spotting a pattern?). Finally reaching a road that appeared on Shirt’s map, the two again wandered three sides of a square, until they reached the theatre. Tickets picked up, the two made for ‘Maritime Greenwich’. The first port of call proved to be a disappointment, with the Cutty Sark covered in boards until 2009 [or maybe longer, given recent events], which also included the railings with the ‘Cutty Sark Gardens’ sign). Moving on though, they made their way to The Old Naval College, where the Sixth Doctor finally met the Brigadier, albeit very briefly on alighting from a helicopter. Photos taken, and Dufus having sat down to sort out his many carrier bags, they strode out for the final location, The National Maritime Museum, arriving to find them locking the gates to its grounds. However, Shirt managed to lean in through the railings to take a photo of the columns and steps where the denouement of the adventure takes place.

However, Greenwich Park, on the other side of the Museum was still open, so the two slowly walked round, with Shirt taking more photos. Finding a suitable spot, the two sat down on the grass, enjoying the early evening warmth, comparing news on upcoming DW merchandise, in a manner quite different from the fan in the queue that morning. Rested and newly energised, the two went in search of sustenance, finally deciding on an all-you-can-eat Saigon buffet. Both partook extensively of the more than 50 dishes on offer, whilst Shirt attempted not to stare at the rotund man in the corner, noisily shovelling gargantuan amounts of food into his mouth, but who seemed to be getting the majority on his shirt. Shirt mused whether this counted as the ‘wastage’ that the restaurant stated that it would charge for. With fifteen minutes to curtain-up, they paid and walked back to the theatre. Buying programmes, they found their seats in the second row, piled Dufus’ carrier bags under them, and sat down. Two minutes later, they had to stand up to allow people down the row, who struggled not to step on Dufus’ mini Dalek.

The lights went down and the play started. The cast comprised Mr. Egan and Mr. Franks, playing Holmes and Watson respectively, and two men and a woman playing all the other parts. Dufus and Shirt were initially confused between two characters played by the same man, particularly in scenes where he didn’t speak, but soon caught on. The set comprised piles of books, and scenery projected onto a backcloth as if pages of a book. The cry of the Hound on the moor, brought Act One to an end. A fifteen minute interval, and the play restarted. Following an impressive denouement and an even more impressive Hound, the cast took their bows. Leaving the theatre, it seemed that the friends would just miss a half-hourly train, but a brisk walk to the station (past the inexplicably still open bargain bookshop) and they were just in time to catch the train, and a connecting one at Waterloo, meaning that they wended their way to Shirt’s home in record time. It seemed that although Shirt had successfully programmed his video to tape the new episode before leaving the house that morning, he had forgotten to turn the timer on. Therefore, having checked a few things online, the two retired to bed, musing on what an excellent day it had been. Dufus stated that he would certainly not leave it eighteen-months between Seventh Galaxy signings again, and immediately started making plans to come down for the next one. Chalky, Dufus and Shirt were back with a vengeance !!!

[AE/PL]