Shirt…

…Runs The Show

Earthshocks bookshop in London had announced a signing for the newly published “Doctor Who: The Writer’s Tale”. Present would be the book’s co-authors, Benjamin Cook & New WHO showrunner and architect, Russell T. Davies. The signing was to be on a school day and so Chalky was unable to attend, and anyway had other more important calls on his money at present. Dufus intended to attend a signing the next day in Earthrocks in Birmingham, and so Shirt made his way up to London using his very generous annual leave entitlement.

Having spent the afternoon, trying to photograph all the London locations for “Talons of Weng-Chiang” (and failing dismally), Shirt’s plan was to arrive at the shop two hours before the signing was due to start (6pm), this having worked well at the Billie Piper signing (see S...A Rose By Any Other Name ). Arriving at the shop, Shirt was confused by there being two queues either side of the store’s doors, one being very small. Seeing two fans that he knew from Seventh Galaxy signings, Shirt followed them into the store, where they went to the first floor, purchasing the large tome (with £5 off), before joining the larger of the queues outside, which was on the right-hand side. Shirt then noticed that the five girls in the other queue, all had ‘Girls Aloud’ T-shirts on. Returning to the cash-desk, Shirt also purchased the book and joined the longer queue, that had now been broken in two in order not to obstruct fire doors, so that Shirt was in a queue beside the barrier to the road. As he did so, he noticed a sign stating that Girls Aloud would be signing the next afternoon at 5pm, explaining the presence of the young girls in the other queue.

Having joined the queue, Shirt was given a ticket indicating that he was number 29 in the queue. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was now 4.10pm, meaning that there was just under two hours to the signing. Shirt spent the time reading the issue of ‘Torchwood Magazine’ that he had just bought, flicking through “The Writer’s Tale”, spotting Lizo from ‘Newsround’, and watching the tourists swarming around in Piccadilly Circus. After about an hour, a shop assistant came down the queue handing out small post-it notes for dedications. At 5.30pm, the queue beside the shop was taken up to the first floor where the signing was taking place. Shirt was therefore a few places back in the new queue outside the shop. Throughout the time he had been queuing, many passer-bys had asked members of the queue who they were waiting for. However, the man that stopped a few minutes after Shirt had moved, and looked at the sign at the head of the small queue indicating who was signing, looked very familiar.

‘That’s Stephen (Travis from ‘Blake’s Seven’) Greif !!’, realised Shirt, who was making a bit of a habit of this, having been on an Underground train with Janet Fielding two days before.

Stephen smiled at seeing that everyone was waiting for RTD, and with a shake of his head moved off.

At 5.45pm, an attractive female shop assistant came down, and like a latter-day Pied Piper led the queue up to the first floor, where the single-file queue was expanded outwards in order to fit everyone in the waiting area. Then another assistant came along, to reiterate that the guests would only be signing “The Writer’s Tale”, “photos of, not with, the guests”, and to ensure that everyone got the appropriate page signed. This was a new one on Shirt, who was used to getting books signed on whatever page he offered. The assistant was unable to explain why it needed to be the title page that also had the publisher’s details as well as the authors. This page also featured cartoons of RTD and Benjamin Cook, which impacted on the space available for signatures. Shirt would have preferred the previous page that had lots of free space. As he was waiting, Shirt heard one of the security staff tell one of the others that the ‘Girls Aloud’ fans had been there since last night (48 hours waiting, who says that WHO fans are the saddest). Staff were continually cramming people in, meaning that Shirt felt that he was taking part in a gigantic game of ‘Sardines’.

At 6pm, the two guests arrived, RTD grinning maniacally as he passed the queue, before playing up to the assembled press photographers, as they all struggled to get photos of him with the book. Mr. Cook was gamely attempting to get into as many photos as possible, much to the snappers’ annoyance. At 6.05pm, the queue started moving. The book-only rule being strictly enforced, the queue moved swiftly. As he moved forward, Shirt struggled to find a clear view of Russell for a photo. Reaching the security man beside the signing table, he handed over the book, open to the appropriate page with the post-it displayed. The security guard placed the book in front of Russell.

“Shirt !”, grinned the great man.

Shirt nodded.

“I’m thoroughly enjoying myself”, he told Shirt, “thanks for coming”.

Shirt mumbled something about being pleased to meet him, before being moved on.

Benjamin Cook also signed the book, clearly aware that hardly anyone had the slightest idea who he was. Shirt was about to engage him in conversation, but caught the eye of a security guard, and moved on with a brief ‘thank you’.

Moving to the side, he struggled again to take a photo of the guests, before leaving the signing area.

As he wended his way home, Shirt mused on his audience with the very jovial RTD, if only all guests were so pleased to meet fans.

[PL]