"What shall we do today?" asked Chalky, hoping beyond hope it would involve girls, booze and something else.

"Why don't we stand outside a shop for over an hour to meet Lalla Ward and John Leeson for two minutes?"

"Okay," said Shirt.

"Never mind, " said Chalky.

"You can invite Enigma, if you like," offered Shirt, "although as she doesn't exist, that may be a bit difficult!"

90 minutes later.

"You see, she does exist," said Chalky.

"I do exist," said Enigma.

"I can see her," said Dufus.

"Who are you talking about?" asked Shirt, still stubbornly refusing to accept the truth before his eyes (but hey, why change a habit of a lifetime).

Enigma was uncontrollably excited.

"I've only met Michael Craze."

"Pah! Call yourself a fan!" gloated Chalky, as he removed his 'The Companions' book from his bag and proceeded to present its numerous autographs to all around (including Shirt and Dufus who had seen them a million times before).

"We've seen it all before," said Shirt.

"But Enigma hasn't."

"Who?"

Seventh Galaxy.

"Oooh, I've never been here before," said Enigma, "Look at all these books!"
"Yes, and look at all these prices!" replied Chalky.

"Are you interested in this copy of Doctor Who and the Generic Monster?" asked Big Ted.

"Yes," said Enigma taking it from him, "AAAARGH!"
"I did warn you," said Chalky, "and try not to scream at the shop people, it's terribly embarrassing."

Items bought (including intriguing CD featuring the stars of the day) we queued outside - the first ones.

"I'm going to ask what it was like sleeping with Tom Baker?" said Dufus.

"You can't ask John Leeson that!" exclaimed Chalky.

"Here she is!" gasped the ensemble.

Time passed.

"We're waiting for pens," said an attendant.

"Hmmm?" mumbled the ensemble.

"You know our fan-cred goes up by about 120% because we're accompanied by a female of the species, you know finer hair, slimmer thorax, that sort of thing?" said Chalky.

"What female?" asked Shirt.

"Oh give it a rest!" cried the others.

"There's another queue inside the shop," said Dufus.

"What? Well go and ask them in the shop where we are supposed to be queuing," said Shirt.

"No, you go."

"Uhuh!"

"Well I'm not going," said Enigma.

"Me neither," said Chalky.

Eventually, Dufus went.

"We are supposed to be out here, but they'd better not let them in before us!"

Man walks into shop with crates of what looks like entire Who collection.

"Blimey!" exclaimed the ensemble, "He'd better not want all that signed."

"Signing across Matthew's face," commented John as he scribbled on Dufus' collection.

"Shame," said Lalla sarcastically.

Can open. Worms everywhere.

"We didn't like Matthew Waterhouse!" agree John and Lalla.

"Bad actor, bad company!"

Ensemble is gobsmacked.

Chalky resists temptation to tell John he looks larger in real life (and a lot less like a metal dog than I had expected).

Enigma tells Lalla that she wants to call her daughter Romana.

Lalla says she never liked the name Romana.

Didn't like Matthew, didn't like Romana - good job she liked John!

"You were the noblest Romana of them all.

And the metal mutt weren't bad either!"

On returning home, Dufus began to unpack his wares, admiring them each, individually.

On perusing his purchases of Harlequin Miniatures, Dufus looked at the Giant Robot in the brand new packet and then at the Giant Robot already sitting on his shelf.

"Bugger!"

"Hahahahahaha!" laughed Shirt and Chalky.

Dufus looked at his brand new Noma, and then at the one sitting on his shelf.

"Bugger!"

"Hahahahahahaha!" laughed Shirt and Chalky, even more loudly.

Dufus pulled the final two Harlequin's from the plastic bag - two identical Venom Grubs.

"Arse!"

Much hilarity ensued.