OUR DIAGNOSIS

Background...

For years I thought I had some kind of brain tumor but I was too afraid to tell anyone. I constantly forgot where I put things. Many times I would see people who knew me but I couldn't remember them. There were also times when I would see people who I knew- I saw them every week for years, had even been to their houses- but at that moment I could not recall their name. Growing up my family would laugh at me because out of the blue I would make a comment or answer a question from a conversation that had ended 10, 15, or 30 minutes earlier. A high school classmate of mine made a comment our sophmore year. He said "Wow Jmae, you're like a totally different person than you were last year. Your fun to be with now." Little did either one of us know how true that statement was.
Towards the end of 1995 I started having trouble sleeping at night. I would wake up in the middle of the night unable to breathe. I became real anxious and the times where I couldn't recall peoples names became more frequent. I would have horrible reoccuring nightmares that seemed so real that I would actually feel the sensations or pain in my body. I would have panic attacks and flashbacks just driving in my car. One day I walked into the church where I had gone for 5 years and didn't recognize anyone. When they started to sing and worship God, I paniced, since there was no name in the song I couldn't tell who they worshiping. I knew if I didn't get help I would fall apart or worse.

Therapy

I had been in therapy before to deal with abuse issues. I thought I had it all together so when things started to fall apart I got real depressed. A friend recommended a therapist who was suppose to be very good. I met with her and she was good! She listened to all that was happening with me and told me I wasn't crazy. She explained to me what MPD was and how there were different degrees of dissociation- not everyone with MPD is like the movie Sybil. She had me keep a journal and also write down the nightmares I was having. Through my journal and listening to the tapes from my sessions in therapy I got to learn more and more of my inside family.

**MENU**
HOME	DIAGNOSIS	TONI'S PLACE	OUR FORUM
OUR STORY	GOD & MPD	MESSAGE BOARD NEW	WEB RINGS
OUR FAMILY	JMAE'S POETRY		LINKS COMING SOON

Sign My Guestbook View My Guestbook