Chorus: Dude! That’s nasty man! What’d ya do that to your face for? You just crashed and burned. What made you do that to yourself, man? Your face looks like a bumming jellyfish. That’s not very tubular man! I can’t even look at your face, dude!
Oedipus: Yo, homies I don’t know I was thinkin’. I must have been really buggin’. True dat. Man my life is a mess, yo. My woman is my ma yo! My whole life I have been chillin’ in da wrong ghetto!
Chorus: Dude! Like that’s not too rad! Get away from us, you’re not groovy anymore.
Oedipus: Dat an’t cool homies, I’m feelin’ the pain, yo.
Chorus: You just made two wrongs, man. That’s like crashing and burning twice in a row.
Oedipus: Yo, homies, I can’t see you, but I’m feelin’ the love.
Chorus: Dude! Why’d ya poke your eyes out? Your face looks like ya got attacked by a shark!
Oedipus: My brotha in da hood, Apollo made me do it. And now there ain’t nothin’ nice left for me here.
Chorus: Yeah, man, I’d be way totally bummed if I was you.
Oedipus: Yo my life is cursed and I pay yo. I ain’t stayin’ here in Thebes, boy. This ain’t my ghetto no mo’.
Chorus:: Right on, dude. Right on. I find it totally tubular how well you express your radical emotions, dude!
Oedipus: This curse ain’t brought nothin’ but trouble, homies. Now I’s gone and hurt the folks I love.
Chorus:: Sometimes, that’s the way life goes man!
Oedipus: : Yo, I tries not to make no problems in this hood, but I’s gone and done it. I don’t get lower than dis, bros.
Chorus:: Yo, your life is ruined, dude! I’d rather be dead than be a blind surfer! Time to put away the board, man!
Oedipus: : Yo, homies, I don’s wants no mo’ help from you, yo! My life is a mess, and there ain’t nuthin’ no one can do to fix it. My parents and kids ain’t livin’ a life worth livin, all cause o’ me. I ain’t gonna look at them no mo’. I ain’t gonna see no mo’ o’ Thebes, my hood. It’s all my fault, yo. It’s all my fault. Why didn’t you homies tell me the truth ‘bout my past, yo? You homies is buggin’. I’s da man dat gone and killed my fatha’ and my woman is my ma. I ain’t got no one left.
Chorus:: Dude! Check it out! Creon’s comin’ in on the next wave! Sweet. He’s the only royal dude left here in Thebes!
Oedipus: : I be wrong homie. My bad, yo.
Creon: I veel not mock you, my gooood mahn. What ees dees? You stand vefore me veeth shame. ‘ave you no respect?
Oedipus: : Yo, German! You ain’t got no right to talk to me like dat! Now, I’s got one thing dat I need, homie.
Creon:: Vhat do you vant from meeeee?
Oedipus: : I want outie. I don’t want to hang in this hood no mo’.
Creon:: I must make a inquiry at zee Godz in zee sky virst. Eet ees neceeecary.
Oedipus: : I’s guilty, now it’s fo’ me to leave. This ain’t got nothin’ to do wit the Gods.
Creon:: I am truly sorrryyy, but eet ees up to zee Gods, not meeee.
Oedipus: : Whada’ you want from me???
Creon:: Now veel you velieve zee God?
Oedipus: : Yo, I am doomed in my hood. I’s got to go. I oughta die homies. I’s gotta bounce to the mountains, yo. I’s gone and ruined my kids life. My sons are men and they can get on wit out me. Howeva, my daughter’s aint got no chance out there. Now that my daughters know what I’ve been doing, things aint never gonna be the same.
(Enter Antigone and Ismene)
Creon:: Zees ez correct! I have zeed thiz to them.
Oedipus: : Yo, it aint gonna be too bad. Your life is gonna be okay wit your brothers. But, you’s don’t got it so good. Cause of the stuff I did you guys aint gonna get hitched to no man. Yo dad is yo brotha. I hope’s that you’s gonna have a better life than me.
Creon:: Dat ezz enough!
Oedipus: : I aint stoppin’!
Creon:: Zeeey need not know of vhat you say!
Oedipus: : I’s gotta get one thing from you bro!
Creon:: Vhat vould you like?
Oedipus: : You got to let me outta dis hood.
Creon:: Zat ees not my deesceesion. Zee Godz are zee ruler of all!!!!!
Oedipus: : Yo what if da Gods tells me it’s down wit them.
Creon:: Eef eet eez down vit dem eet eez down vit mee.
Oedipus: : Is dat a promise man!?
Creon:: I know not of vhat zee Godz vill zay, zerfore, I vill promise nutting.
Oedipus: : Then show me what I’s gotta do.
Creon:: Come vit me and leave all veehind.
Oedipus: : No homie dat aint happenin’!
Creon:: Deen go, go and see dee Godz for yourzelf. Eet eez oveer.
Chorus: My fellow Thebian surfer dudes, this is my man Oedipus. The mondo dude that solved the riddle. We loved this dude, he was totally radical. But dude he’s not so tubualr any more. Looks like he’s just a regular dude with bad luck, man. His life is not gonna be too awesome now.