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I am so excited about tonight's episode. Krycek! Woo Hoo!!! The beard and stringy hair must go though. No Stringyhairandstragglybeard!Krycek clones will be made available. I shan't have any disguised Krycek clones on my island. Especially clones disguised as ZZ Top concert refugees. Not sexy!
As I was reading my last rant to my sister I realized how long it was. Woah! Didn't realize I went off on such a tear. So, no rant this time around. Now on to the "show."
The X-Files: Fight The Future: Enter the Consortium (Mensa They Are Not!)
Abbreviations to date:
Caveman 1: CM1
Caveman 2: CM2
Boy 1: B1
Stevie (a.k.a. Boy 2): ST
Boy 3: B3
Boy 4: B4
Captain Miles Cooles: CMC
Men in Biohazard suits: MIB
Dude with Tie (Bronschweig): DWT
Deputy Type Guy: DTG
Skinner: Sk
Generic Agent Type 1: GAT1
The Big Cheese (AKA S.A.C. Michaud): TBC
Scully: S
Mulder: M
Rent-a-cop 1: RAC1
Generic Agent Type 2: GAT2
Nameless Agent: NA
Nameless Agent 2: NA2
Irritating, annoying, wench: IAW
Bartender: Bar
Mystery Woman: MW
Kurtzweil the old man: OM
Cigarette Smoking Man: CSM
Private Flunky: PvtF
Plain Clothes Cop: PCC
Agent Hayseed: Hay
Nameless Scientist: NS
Number of times Scully has called Mulder by his last name:
29
Number of times Mulder has called Scully by her last name:
10
Not a "Scully!" or a "Mulder!" in the whole last section. I am amazed.
Number of cigarettes lit by CSM: 1
County of Somerset, England
The scream turns into the playful yell of a brat playing in a stereotypical British garden. The brat and his equally unruly companions, probably siblings, run around for a moment or two then a woman, who might be their mother, possibly the nanny, claps her hands in what appears to be a herding method while walking behind the running trio.
The camera pans to a man seated on the patio of what appears to be a huge mansion, estate, whatever, watching with a smile. It's the Well-Manicured Man. (WMM) <Who apparently isn't much into showing teeth when he smiles> He sips his tea and gives a small chuckle at the goings-on.
A man <who appears to be somewhat overdressed in a bow tie> appears from out of the dwelling. He appears to be all stereotypical British formality. Everything one would want in a stereotypical British butler. Which apparently is what the man is. It would seem that WMM has reached a place in the consortium where the fringe benefits are simply to die for. <Oh! Terrible choice of words. Bad Rainey!>
Butler: Sir, you have a call.
WMM looks resigned as he walks inside and picks up a phone.
WMM: Yes?
CSM: [through phone] We have a situation. The members are assembling.
WMM: Is it an emergency?
Scene moves to CSM
CSM: Yes. A meeting has been set, tonight in London to determine a course. <Thereby implying that there's actually a vote on this. That's awfully democratic of them. And completely unlike them.>
Back to WMM.
WMM: Who called this meeting? <Because if you called this meeting I'm not going you nicotine shrouded bastard.>
Back to CSM
CSM: Strughold. He just got on a plane in Tunis.
Once again back to WMM.
One of the brats yelps pitifully from the garden. WMM turns towards the window to look. He hangs up the phone and runs over to the window. The male brat is lying down and holding his leg. A man (the butler perhaps?) runs to the brat. Sensing a problem, WMM begins to quickly go outside to see what has happened.
London, England
6:47 PM
(Presumably London time which would make it what GST?)
We see the outside of a building. Not ever having been to London I'll be damned if I know what's in the background. Tiny Dancer seems to be under the impression that it is Albert's Hall in the background. Means nothing to me. Anyway…. A black car pulls up in front and WMM gets out. Another servant holds the car door open for him. <How nice it must be not to be bothered with little things like opening up one's own car door. Or even driving one's own car. Very nice fringe benefits.>
WMM: Has Strughold arrived?
Servant: Yes, they're waiting in the library, sir.
WMM and the servant enter the building. WMM enters a room where a group of men, who we know as the Consortium, who should probably be rightfully known as the incompetents, are gathered. They all turn in unison as he walks through the door held open by yet another servant. In front of them, a TV can be seen showing the frozen image of M and S as they BSed their way into the morgue. A man stands up. He is Strughold, leader of the <cigarette> pack, the top dog if you will, and owner of the poorly kept up mining company.
Two men move away from him toward the TV. One of the men is CSM who remains in the background within sight.
Strughold (LotP): We began to worry. <Yeah right> Some of us have traveled so far and you are the last to arrive.
WMM: I'm sorry. My grandson fell and broke his leg.
No one bothers to inquire on the well being of the brat. <What a nice bunch of men you've decided to ally yourself with WMM.>
LotP: While we have been made to wait, we watched surveillance tapes which have raised more concerns. <You really need a hobby. One besides trying to rule the world via control of the aliens.>
CSM takes the opportunity to light up.
WMM: More concerns on what?
LotP: We have been forced to reassess our role in Colonization by new effects in biology which have [He pauses dramatically] presented themselves.
CSM remains in the background, surrounded by a cloud of smoke. For some reason I am reminded of Pigpen from the Peanuts cartoons. Another consortium dude stands silently. On the right side of the screen is a heavy guy who looks kinda like a skinnier, younger version of Marlon Brando, who is also known as the First Elder (1stE).
(1stE): The virus has mutated.
WMM: Into what?
LotP: A new extraterrestrial biological entity.
WMM: My God! <Woo Hoo! I love hearing him say that.>
LotP: The geometry of mass infection presents certain conceptual reevaluations for us about our place in the Colonization. <Ya think? You're a freaking incubator! I would think that reevaluation of your place in Colonization would be a no brainer. And I would suggest that you do so from a distance.>
WMM begins to walk towards LotP. He looks pretty pissed. I can't say that I blame him.
WMM: This isn't Colonization, this is spontaneous repopulation! All our work! …. If it's true, they've been using us all along! We've been laboring under a lie! <I always find it amazing when liars are amazed at being lied to. Does it ever occur to them that as they lie to people others might get it into their head to lie to them?>
Nameless Consortium dude (NCD): It could be an isolated case. <Oh really? And are you planning to volunteer to be the next person to be infected so you can try out your little "theory?">
WMM: How can we know?!
LotP: We're going to tell them what we've found, what we've learned by turning over a body infected with the gestating organism. <And you think this is a good idea because…?>
WMM: In hope of what? Learning that it's true? That we are nothing but digestives for the creation of a new race of alien life-forms?! By cooperating now, we are but beggars to our own demise. ><Yeah! What he said!>
LotP: Cooperation is the only chance of saving ourselves. <Saving yourselves how? You do realize that you are not immune. You could end up oilien food just as easily as ST or one of the firemen.>
CSM: They still need us to carry out their preparations. <Oh puh-leeze! They need you as dinner.>
LotP: We'll continue to use them as they do us. If only to play for more time, to continue work on our vaccine. <Sure, fine, whatever.>
WMM: [shaking his head] My lateness might just as well have been absence. A course has already been taken!
CSM: There are complications. [He looks at the surveillance video. WMM looks as well.] Mulder saw one of the infected bodies that we destroyed in Dallas. <I hate to have to point this out yet again but if you had destroyed the body properly in the first place, M wouldn't have seen the body.> He's gone back there again. Someone has tipped him.
WMM: Who?
CSM: Kurtzweil we think. <You think? You mean you have other former members going around blabbing your secrets to any crazy FBI agent who will listen to wild theories in dark alleyways?>
WMM: No one believes Kurtzweil or his books. He's a toiler, a crank.
1stE: Mulder believes. <Oh please! M would believe just about anything.>
CSM: Then Kurtzweil must be removed. <Now you want him removed? You're a little late don't you think?>
LotP: As must Mulder.
WMM: Kill Mulder, we take the risk of turning one man's quest into a crusade. <A crusade lead by people most folks would consider loony. This scares you WMM? Why? You should be more scared of the stupidity displayed by your associates.>
LotP: Then you must take away what he holds most valuable. That with which he can't live without.
I can't believe this group of Einstiens have managed to keep the existence of extra-terrestrials a secret for 50 years. I've said it before but I'm saying it again anyway. This group has to be the biggest bunch of incompetents ever to gather in a clubhouse and call themselves a group. They allow their former associates to live and blab, they do a lousy job of covering their tracks, and their arrogance borders on stupidity. They should take lessons from the mob. Well the mob of the past anyway.
One lesson they don't need from the mob is the one where they learn how to be sexist. No wonder M thinks the world revolves around him! All these men ever say is M this and M that. M has a partner. She's a petite woman with red hair. She also happens to be a forensic pathologist. Her name is S. Hello! SHE is a bigger danger right now than M is. No one listens to M. He's considered a crank, an annoyance to his superiors, a joke to his peers. He's the one they call "Spooky" remember? S can actually provide scientific proof that people would believe. Why are they sweating M? Perhaps sweating is the wrong word to use seeing how these men are pigs and pigs don't have sweat glands. Grrr!!! No wonder the Uniblonder was able to double-cross them so long. They probably didn't realize she could be as duplicitous as any of the men who betrayed them. Sheesh!!!
The Consortium's motto should be "Always a day late and a dollar short." They want to kill OM NOW? They should have done that a LONG time ago. But then who am I but a mere woman? Perhaps if they had more women in their little group they would get these things right. But then CSM and company probably wouldn't want to take orders from a female.
WMM seems to be the only member of the Consortium with an iota of sense. Too bad no one listens to him.
I wonder who really runs the Consortium. During the entire scene while LotP was speaking CSM was always in the background, surrounded by his cloud of cigarette smoke. I get the feeling that LotP is merely a puppet while CSM is the puppet-master pulling the strings. But I could be wrong.
I wonder what the time distance is between the whole morgue thing and this scene. They got that tape awfully fast.
What time of year is this supposed to be? Why were those brats in school uniform? It looked like summer. That is corn season and all. <Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself again.>
Until next time….
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