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Sometimes I wish I could just go to a deserted island (with all modern conveniences of course, stove, electricity, cable, TWO phone lines) in real life. Occasionally people REALLY get on my nerves.
I have mentioned my upstairs neighbors. Grrr! The punk, his girlfriend and their whelp. Anyway, I generally avoid them. I almost NEVER see them and I prefer it this way. They are not light on their feet and they make WAY too much noise on Saturday mornings. Sometimes I can hear their music in my apartment as though it were playing on MY stereo instead of theirs. They are not inconspicuous. I always know when they're home. And it appears that someone is ALWAYS home.
Last Sunday, I was getting ready to go to the supermarket. I needed to get pumped because it was raining and I really didn't want to go outside. As it were, I postponed doing my laundry because I do NOT do laundry when it's raining. So I turn on my stereo and hit play on the CD. The stereo was at the exact same volume it was the day before when I played it before leaving my apartment. (I tend to play music a tad loud but not so loud as to get a noise complaint in the middle of the afternoon.) The punk (not THE punk) apparently was home because as I was moving around the apartment getting things together (granny cart etc.) I hear this stomping on the ceiling. I figured I was hearing things or someone was walking around as they are not light on their feet. Then I hear it again. Someone was stomping on my ceiling on purpose! Well, I admit I decided to be a witch (replace w with b) about it and turned the stereo up. So the stomping on my ceiling continues. I turn it up again. Then the song ended so I turned it off and headed out to the supermarket before I decided to scrap the supermarket trip. When I return I go back to my music. Would you believe that as soon as I hit the pause button to talk to my sister on the phone that rat bastard starts stomping on my ceiling again? Not while the music is on but AFTER I turned it down. I hope that this woman beating punk doesn't think that I am going to be intimidated by the stompings of a punk who feels its appropriate to hit on women instead of picking on someone his own size. Nerve! If he really has a problem he can call the cops. I doubt they'd take seriously a noise complaint at 6pm.
Grrr! As soon as I get a car I'm going to start looking for alternative digs. Basement offices may be cool but basement apartments are NOT.
Enough venting, on to the "show":
Jose Chung's From Outer Space: Interview With the Agent
Abbreviations to date:
Roky : ROK
Harold Lamb: Hsap
Number of times a question is answered with "How the hell
should I know?": 2
Number of spaceships making an appearance: 2
X-Files Office
FBI Headquarters
Washington, D.C.
The scene opens by panning Mulder's "I Want To Believe" poster. Starting at the bottom and moving up to the UFO at the top of it. Jose Chung (JC), author and Grandpa Munster impersonator, walks towards it.
JC: I had never thought much about it before. I guess that's because I always felt like such an alien myself. <I will refrain from making the obvious and juvenile crack about him looking like one.> That to be concerned with aliens from… [waggles his eyebrows] other planets, that just seemed so, uh… redundant.
Scully (S): Well, I'd never actually much considered it myself before I started this job.
JC: Yes. Now, if I understand it correctly, your partner is the, uh, actual expert? <I don't think I like the way he said that. He might as well have taken his fingers and made quotation marks when he said expert.>
S: Yes, and I feel that I must apologize for his refusal to speak with you, Mister Chung, but, uh, I must admit, I probably wouldn't have myself if I wasn't such an admirer of your work. <Typical S behavior. Mulder acts like a punk and S apologizes for him. But does Mulder ever apologize? NO! The Punk.>
JC: Oh!
S: The Lonely Buddha is one of my favorite novels. <Hmmm. Starstruck!Scully. Interesting. Now put her away and bring back our usual S.>
JC: And here I was thinking you were just some… brainy beauty. Now I find out that you also have good taste. <I always thought so too. Until that last remark. Was it me or was JC trying to flirt with S? Ewww!>
She smiles as JC walks around the desk and sits down. He bumps into the corner of the desk as he seats himself.
S: What made you decide to write a book about an alien abduction if you're not that interested in the subject yourself? [She sits across from JC at Mulder's desk.]
JC: Actually? It was my publisher's idea. At first I was reluctant, until I realized that I had an opportunity here to create an entirely new literary genre… a non-fiction science fiction. Now, see, that gimmick alone will guarantee its landing on the best-seller list. In short, to answer your question? Money. <I see why Mulder refused to talk to him. I'm inclined to side with Mulder on this one. Which is another reason to not like this guy. Plus, he creeps me out, the dirty old man.>
S: [looking as though she should have kept away from JC] <Watch your ass S, you never know whose hands may end up on it. Unfortunately, I don't mean Mulder's> Well… just as long as you're attempting to record the truth.
JC: Oh, God, no. How can I possibly do that? <This statement here should be a huge hint not to talk to this guy.>
S: What do you mean?
JC: I spent three months in Klass County and everybody there has a different version of what truly happened. Truth is as subjective as reality. That will help explain why when people talk about their "UFO experiences," [He waves his finger in a spiral like a tornado] they always start off with "well, now, I know how crazy this is going to sound but…" <Well so truths are more reliable than others. I mean really if you got two different truths from say me and the town drunk you would be more inclined to believe me. Right? RIGHT!?>
S: So you're here to get my version of the truth?
JC: [reaching for S's hand] <Ick!> Exactly. [He picks up his pen and puts it to paper, ready to record S's truth.] Now, when did you first find out about the case? <That does it! If he keeps that up I will hurt him like that beast woman.>
S: Well… not right away, of course. Um… not enough time had elapsed for it to be considered a missing person's case before the girl was found the following morning.
Cut to Klass County
The car sits on the side of the road, stranded. Inside the car, the girl sits, curled up in a ball, with a blanker than usual expression on her face. The hopeless sap who was driving is nowhere to be seen.
S: [voiceover] She was suffering from what my partner calls "missing time." She recalled nothing of the previous night, nor how she had arrived at her present whereabouts. Her body exhibited signs of physical abuse, and all of her clothes were on backwards and inside out.
The girl plays with a button on her shirt, which is facing the wrong way. Her face still blank and expressionless.
Cut to the office.
JC: Have I had my share of mornings like that. <I'm sure you had. No doubt after waking up next to some nubile but underage young thing. Pervert!> Oh, but these have the characteristics of someone who has… [He motions for her to wait a second and flips back a page in his notebook.] Uh, do you prefer the term "abductee" or "experiencer?"
S: Actually, I prefer neither, but my partner uses "abductee."
JC: My preference is for the other. <Gee what a surprise.> [He leans in and whispers conspiratorially.] <No doubt a cheesy excuse to be within sniffing distance of S. What a CREEP!> "I've just had a, uh… little alien experience." As opposed to, [melodramatically] "I've just been abducted!" [He points at her with his pen and starts to write.] <Unfortunately, I think he'd rather be pointing a different pen at her. Ick!>
S: Well, regardless, the girl was considered neither at the time. She appeared more to be the victim of date rape than anything else.
JC shrugs and makes his little notes. <You can just feel the waves of concern wafting from him.>
Cut to the girl's bedroom. The girl is alone. Sleeping. There's a bloodstain on the pillow near her nose.
S: [voiceover] She was given a physical exam and her statement was taken. Later that night, she received her… visitation.
To be continued…
Ewww! JC is one creepy, dirty old man. He's not even touching me and I want to shower. What is it with CC and these creepy elderly men anyway?
I am NOT liking JC. First he makes me agree with Mulder when he's acting somewhat punk-like, then he drools over S. How she can sit there and not look completely grossed out is beyond me.
My thanks to CC for NOT brining back Starstruck!Scully. Let's just put her away and never take her out again. She upsets me.
I can see why Mulder doesn't want to talk to JC. JC is the anti-Mulder. He should be beaten senseless by Krycek.
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