The 'X' Challenge
xerium- a present given to a guest or foreign ambassador
X Day*
by Dana Quell
Captain Kathryn Janeway woke up with a start. It was just after
midnight, there was no alerts going on, and there was no one else
in her quarters. What had woken her?
She reached up, and scratched her head, wondering what could have
possibly disturbed her deep slumber. She pulled her hand away from the
top of her head, horrified at the feeling of her hair. It was dry!
Immediately, she jumped out of bed and pulled her red and black uniform
on.
Tearing out of her quarters, she stopped just long enough to grab
a scarf and place it over her head, making sure that no one could see
her hair. Then she ran to Sickbay as fast as she could, hoping that
since it was the middle of the night, she wouldn't encounter anyone.
The Doctor was still activated when she got there. "Ah, Captain,
what brings you to Sickbay at such a late hour?" he asked, turning
around. When she took the scarf off her head, he gave a shrill,
womanly shriek. "Captain, what have you done with your hair?!" he
exclaimed.
"Nothing," Kathryn tried to explain, pulling at the ends of it.
"I just woke up, and it was like this. Is there something you can do,
to make it better?"
The Doctor circled her, trying to come to a conclusion. "I'm a
doctor, not a hairstylist." Seeing her disheartened glance, he added,
"But I'll see what I can do."
Kathryn smiled. "Thank you, Doctor."
The Doctor stopped circling her. "I believe you are inflicted
with a little known condition known as xerasia."
"Xerasia? What's that?" she asked, her brow furrowing.
"A morbid dryness of the hair."
Kathryn immediately became more worried than she already was.
"Morbid? Am I going to die?"
The Doctor frowned. "What? Die? No, of course you're not going
to die from a little dry hair. Whatever gave you that idea?"
"The fact that you used 'morbid' in your definition," she
replied, hopping up onto a biobed. "I feel like I'm going to die,
though, if you don't figure out a way to fix this. How will I ever
face my crew with my hair looking like this?"
"You could always shave it off," the Doctor offered. The glare
that Kathryn gave him told him he'd better shut up and fix it soon or
he was going to be de-activated. He hurried over to a tray. "Here,"
he said, handing a tube of something to her. "If you shampoo your hair
with this everyday, your hair should be back to normal within a few
weeks."
"Weeks, Doctor? Isn't there a faster solution to this problem?"
she asked, not liking the prospect of having dry hair for a week.
"Well..." the Doctor hesitated. It wasn't normally something
he'd give a patient, but she had requested it. Sort of.
"Well, what, Doctor?" she asked, a murderous gleam in her eye.
The Doctor backed away, forgetting that he was a hologram for a second.
"Well, yes, there is something you could have that would get rid
of the dryness in an hour. But I don't-"
"Give it to me," she said, cutting him off. "Give it to me NOW!"
The Doctor nodded, then slowly turned to get her the solution.
"Just shampoo this in and in an hour your hair should be back to
normal. Though I must warn you-"
She yanked the tube out of his hands. "Thank you, Doctor, I must
shampoo this in now." She hopped off the biobed, and ran out of
Sickbay, after placing the scarf on her head once again.
The Doctor sighed, being left to his devices once again. "Why do
they never listen to me?"
Meanwhile in Kathryn's quarters....
Kathryn shampooed the stuff in her hair, then waited a while.
Nothing seemed to happen. Maybe she was supposed to shampoo it out,
too. So she did.
Still nothing. Damn. Now she was going to have to deal with
really dry hair for a week. Kathryn was about to return to Sickbay to
fetch the other medicine the Doctor had offered her when her comm
badge chirped.
{Bridge to Captain Janeway,} Tuvok's voice came over the comm
system.
Kathryn sighed. "What is it, Tuvok?" she asked.
{Captain your presence is required on the bridge. We are being
hailed.}
"All right, I'll be right there. Janeway out," she replied,
closing the comm system. Then she faced her greatest dilemma of the
night; to wear, or not to wear, the scarf on her head. That was the
real question. She finally decided she wouldn't wear the scarf,
because it would only make her look silly. Besides, the Doctor
promised her that it would work within the hour, and she had faith in
modern medicine. Even if it had used leeches to cure headaches at one
point.
On the bridge of the USS Voyager...
Kathryn stepped out of the doors of the turbolift, preparing to
hear her entire bridge crew to scream like the Doctor had. Of course,
the Doctor was a wuss, but that didn't make any difference. Her hair
still looked terrible.
Instead of the screams she had expected to ehar upon walking onto
the bridge, there was only the familiar sounds of buttons on the
consoles being tapped. Kathryn nearly sighed with relief.
Tuvok glanced up upon hearing the turbolift doors open. "Captain
on the...Captain, did you do something different with your hair?" he
asked in a very un-Vulcanish voice.
Kathryn's eyes widened, and her hand reached up to her hair
subconsciously. "Well, yes, you see, I'm afflicted with-" She stopped,
feeling her hair again. It was no longer dry! It was a miracle! One
of these days, Kathryn was going to have to give the Doctor a promotion
to be one of the crewmembers.
"Report," she replied instead, glancing towards the empty chair
that Chakotay usually inhabited. Of course it would be empty, she
thought to herself, after all, he's not on duty right now.
"We received a hail from a species who called themselves the
Xebec," Tuvok replied.
Kathryn nodded. "Hail them," she told Harry Kim, over at
Operations.
Harry nodded, punching a few buttons on the console in front of
him. Soon an ugly looking, scaly creature appeared on the main
viewscreen.
"I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship
Voyager," Kathryn said, bringing her hand up to itch her suddenly
itchy scalp.
The Xebec watched her for a moment, then replied. "I am
Xorandixksious Xeppandiupisia, Xanphirmianctanophira of the
Xeropottomatnaeter. I am
also pleased to make your acquaintance, Captain Kathryn Janeway of the
Federation Starship Voyager."
Kathryn struggled to hide her laughter at his name, and his
pronunciation of her's. He said it like the whole string of words was
one, squished together. Instead of laughing, though, she merely itched
her scalp ferociously. "Please, just call me Captain."
Xorandixksious nodded. "Then you must simply call me Xxxo. All
my friends do."
Kathryn turned to Tuvok, smiling. Then she turned back to the
viewscreen. "Very well, Xxxo. Now, it's my understanding you hailed
us before?"
Xxxo nodded. "Yes, yes, yes. You see, you are very strange,
being not from this part of the galaxy, and though the Xebec enjoy
very much playing the part of traders, that's not our true passion.
You see, Captain, the Xebec are xenomanic."
Kathryn brought her head up as to nod, but stopped when she
digested what he was really saying. "Xenomanic?"
"Yes. We are afflicted with xenomania, a mania for foreign
persons or things. We were hoping that we might be able to persuade
you to trade with us, and help us curb our xenomania," Xxxo replied.
"I guess it can't hurt us to try," she said, smiling.
Xxxo grinned, showing rows of sharp fangs. "Great! Then we can
proceed right away. You can come to our ship! Bring as many guests as
you can! We love entertaining foreigners!"
Kathryn nodded, smiling. She knew just who she was going to
bring. "We'll be on your ship as soon as I can get people together."
She signalled to Harry to cut the transmission, then glanced around the
bridge. "Commander Chakotay, Lieutenant Paris, Lieutenant Torres, and
Seven of Nine, please report to the bridge," she said, hitting her comm
badge.
Harry and Tuvok both frowned, disappointed by their hope that
they might join the away team. "Captain, it would be unwise not to
bring a security officer, and to take with you your first officer,"
Tuvok intoned.
Kathryn rolled her eyes as she scratched her scalp furiously.
Jealous Vulcan. "I know what is and what is not wise, Tuvok. So just
shut up!"
Tuvok's eyebrow raised, but he said nothing. When she turned to
face the viewscreen again, he stuck his tongue out at her. Harry noticed.
Tapping his comm badge, he whispered, "Kim to Tuvok. You're not
acting much like a senior officer. Don't you have to set an example
for the rest of the crew or something? And isn't sticking your tongue
out at the captain very un-Vulcanish?"
"Shows what you know. There's no such word as un-Vulcanish,"
Tuvok replied, turning his extended tongue on Harry. "Tuvok out."
Harry's only reply was to stick his tongue out at Tuvok.
Fortunately the captain saw neither of them doing this. Instead, her
attention was on the turbolift doors, where her officers would soon be
steppin gout onto the bridge from.
Chakotay stepped out of the doors first, followed by Tom, then
B'Elanna, then finally Seven of Nine. Kathryn immediately set upon them,
intent on getting an explanation as to why they had arrived on the bridge
at a time unsatisfactory to her.
"Why are you late? What's wrong with you? Don't you know that
puncutuality is a virture, and that as Starfleet officers you're supposed
to uphold that virtue? Don't you realize that being late could jeopardize
our entire relationships with the Xebec?" Kathryn nagged, wagging a
pointer finger at the four people in front of her and using her entire
other hand to itch her scalp.
Seven rolled her eyes uncharacteristically. "We would have been
here on time, but these two," she pointed towards B'Elanna and Tom, who
were busy lip-wrestling in front of the entire bridge, "halted the
turbolift. Who cares about your Starfleet anyway, Xanthippe?"
Kathryn was taken aback. It seems that her 'daughter' had entered
the teenage stages.** Pretty soon she'd be snapping gum and saying,
'Well, duh!' "I care about Starfleet, and so should you. For saying
that, you're confined to quarters for a week. And what the hell is a
Xanthippe?"
"A Xanthippe is a scolding woman. It fits you exactly. But
Captain, Neelix is throwing a party and he expects me to be there," Seven
whined. "Oh, wait a minute. This is a good thing."
Kathryn glared at Seven, then turned to Chakotay. "Get ready for an
away mission. You and I are going, since Seven is restricted to her
quarters and these two lieutenants can't seem to act professional for even
a minute." She separated each word with a scratch to her avaricious
scalp.
Chakotay still looked sleepy, but he managed to stay awake long
enough to snap to attention. "Yessir, ma'am, sir."
"Captain, I am obligated to warn you that going over to the Xebec
ship with just the two of you is highly dangerous. Should something
happen, I would be forced to take control of Voyager," Tuvok intoned from
Security. Something inside him said, 'Shut up, Tuvok, you want control of
Voyager. Take control, seize it while they're over there. Get the crew
back to the Alpha Quadrant and become a hero.' So he shut up.
"Noted. But we're going alone," Kathryn replied, much to Tuvok's
relief.
Chakotay heard her choice of words and immediately woke up. "Alone,
eh? Does that mean it's a sort of romantic vacation?" he leered.
She just gave him the Janeway death glare and headed for the
turbolift. "Aren't you coming, Chakotay?"
"Whenever you're coming, Captain," he replied, still playing
'Pervert That Line'***. He followed her into the turbolift.
Transporter Room 1...
Kathryn scratched at her scalp, silently damning the Doctor and his
one day treatments that made her feel worse than the thing she had been
afflicted with had. The transporter room attendant glanced up, obviously
watching Chakotay gaze at Kathryn like a love-sick puppy dog. Kathryn
tried to ignore him, as she did most of the time, but there were times
when she just couldn't help herself. This was not one of them.
She nodded at the attendant, then smiled, itching her scalp one last
time. Then she felt herself being dematerialized and rematerialized, only
this time she was on the Xebec ship.
"Captain," a familiar voice said. "Welcome to Xeropottomatnaeter.
I see you brought a friend with you. Only one?"
"We had technical difficulties getting the others here. One was all
I could bring," Kathryn replied, turning to greet Xxxo. "This is my first
officer, Commander Chakotay."
Xxxo tilted his head to one side. "Welcome, Commander Chakotay.
You are the opposite gender of Captain?"
Chakotay smiled. "Yes, that's one way of putting it," he replied.
Xxxo showed all of his fangs again, in what must have been the Xebec
equivalent of a smile. "Perfect." He clapped, and two other Xebecs came
running, heavy iron chains in their hands. "Confiscate their weapons and
bring them to their xystos."
The two Xebecs nodded, then did as he said. "Xystos?" Kathryn
asked, hating to be manhandled by aliens.
"Oh, yes. Breeding stalls. Didn't I mention before that the Xebec
were xenomanic?" He turned to the two Xebecs. "In return for their most
generous offer of Captain and Commander Chakotay, send the ship a xerium.
Make it nice and xanthos." Turning back to the two captives, he grinned.
"You two will make fine specimens. You see, we Xebecs are preserving the
races of the galaxy with our xenomanic behavior. We go around collecting
two of each species, opposite genders only, and put them together in their
xystos. Then we hope they mate, and further continue their species."
"A Noah's Arc for the 24th century," Kathryn muttered.
Chakotay grinned. "Hear that, Kathryn? They're encouraging us to
mate. It's become our duty now. But I can wait until you're ready."
"Thank god for small miracles," Kathryn sighed. It was just another
X day. She just hoped it wouldn't be an XXX day yet.
*X Day- in my school we have A days and B days, which rotates our
schedules around. I either have lab or gym, depending on what day it is.
On Voyager, it's now an X day, which means that every situation
encountered by Voyager will have something to do with the letter X. :)
**I've heard some reviews call the Janeway-Seven of Nine relationship as a
mother-daughter relationship.
***I did not make that game up. I first heard of it on the Facts page of
the Official JetC Homepage. I
just borrowed it.
The End.