Disclaimer:  THEY DO NOT BELONG TO ME>>>> THEY BELONG TO PARAMOUNT>>>> HAPPY
 NOW?
Notes:  Ok, hi everyone! waits in dead silence  That was your cue to say, 
"Hello, Dana!"  Email me right now and apologize.  Ok, anyway, this is just some 
odd thing that I concocted when I was having little to no inspiration.  So it 
seems to go nowhere and then surprises you like a three layer chocolate fudge 
upside down cake in the face.  Oh, wait, that's the sequel.  Anyway, just enjoy.  
This little piece should give you a little insight as to what goes on inside my 
head (run away as fast as you can!)

OC (or Odd Coincedences for an Odd Crew)
By Dana Quell


	 Neelix threw a Halloween party that year.  Now I don't know 
how he knew of Halloween, or how we all wound up drunk, but I do 
remember the conversation that occurred while we were intoxicated. 
	 The party was dying down, and most of the crew that had been 
there had already left.     Most of the senior staff, however, stayed.  
Myself included. 
	  We all sat on or near the couch - B'Elanna, Tom, Seven, Harry, 
and, of course, Chakotay.  The Doctor was in Sickbay, preparing for 
casualties, and Tuvok had left early, justifying his action with 
"Someone has to be without a hangover tomorrow morning to run this 
ship."   
	 Someone- I believe it was Neelix- mentioned that he did not 
know what Halloween was, or why it was celebrated. 
	 "You don't?" Tom replied. 
	 "I don't either," B'Elanna, Seven, and Harry replied.  Seven 
took another swig of her punch and smiled, a very creepy thing to 
someone who had never seen her smile.  It was actually as if she had 
bared her teeth and growled.
        "Well, I'll have to inform you," Tom replied.  "Pass the punch, 
Seven."
        The ex-Borg frowned, reluctant to give over the punch bowl that 
she had assimilated.  "What if I don't wanna?" she growled.
	 "Too bad, Seven, I spiked it, I want to reap the benefits," 
Tom rumbled back, trying to stand.  He shook for a moment, then 
steadied.	
        Seven also stood.  "Well, you are certainly not getting it.   
Over my exanimate carcass." 
	 "You mean dead body, Seven," I broke in, trying to stop myself 
from falling off the couch.
	"Yes, thank you, Captain," she said, swaying on her feet.  She 
turned back to Tom.  "Over my dead body."  Seven frowned.  "I liked it 
better my way."
       "Fine," I pouted. 
	Chakotay, sitting next to me on the couch, patted my shoulder.  
"There, there, Kathryn.  I like it better your way." 
	"Shut up, Chakotay," I said, thoroughly pissed off at the new 
ways he had recently been trying to get in my pants- or rather, my 
uniform.	
        B'Elanna, who had been sitting next to Tom on the floor until 
he got up, tugged on his  pants, almost pulling them off.  "Tomkin, 
sit down and forget the stupid punch.  We have more in your quarters.  
'Sides, you have to tell us about... what were we talking about?" 
	 "Halloween," Chakotay spat out, obviously feeling put off by 
my attempt to keep him quiet.
	 "Right.  You have to tell us why Halloween is so important."  
She tugged on his pants again, this time careful not to tug too hard.	
        "Fine," Tom replied, glaring his best evil eye at Seven and 
sitting down.  Seven sat down as well, smiling sweetly at him and 
slurping her punch.	
        "Halloween was started by corporate candy companies who wanted 
to promote their products.  They decided that they could tell little 
children who wanted candy to dress up once a year and go door to door 
begging for their candy.  Their neighbors would then have to buy huge 
quantities of candy in order to satisfy the  little buggers-"
	 "Tom, that's not why Halloween is so important," Chakotay 
broke in.
	 Tom crossed his arms.  "First Seven tells me that I can't 
drink my own spiked punch, now you tell me that I don't know history.  
All right, Mr. I'm-in-love-with-the-Captain-so-I-know-everything-and-
am-always-right, why is Halloween so important?"
	 "Hey, you weren't supposed to know that I'm in love with-"  
My patented Janeway Glare o' Death stopped his sentence, and he gulped.  
"Well, it all started with the Druids, in Ireland.  After the harvest 
was considered the end of the year, because it was then that everything 
turned cold and dead.  So they called it Samhain and honored their 
spirit dead."
	 Tom smiled smugly.  "That doesn't explain why _Halloween_ is 
so important."
        Chakotay stuck his tongue out at the helm officer.  "I was 
just getting to that part.  Now, as I was saying before _Ensign_ Paris 
so rudely interrupted me, later some other culture adapted the date and 
used it to honor their dead.  They renamed it All Hallow's Eve, or 
Halloween as it later became called.  It was supposedly  the one day 
when the veils between the dead and the living were spread so thin 
that-" 
	 "Yeah, yeah, yeah," I broke in.  "It's all very interesting, 
but I think that tomorrow we should make it All Hallow's Day."
	 "Kathryn, tomorrow is already All Saint's Day.  Or is it All 
Soul's Day?  I always get those two mixed up," Chakotay whined.
	 "Your point?"
	 "You can't have two holidays at once." 
 	 "Well, I'm the captain, and I say you can.  So there."  I 
would have stuck my tongue out at my commander, but he might have 
misconstrued it in his drunken state.  "Now, I think that everyone has 
to dress up for their duty shifts."
	 "I'd prefer that they dress down," Chakotay leered at me.
	 I regarded him for a moment.  As much as I would have liked to 
see how 'endowed' he was in that particular area, I certainly couldn't 
condone something like that, especially since it would distract myself 
and the entire crew.  Although, I was drunk, and could always use that 
excuse in explaining my serious mockery of protocol to Tuvok.  Wait a 
minute- I didn't have to explain anything to anyone.  I was the captain 
of Voyager.
 	"Why don't you, Chakotay?" I leered back at him.   
	 He shrank back, surprised that I actually gave him permission 
to do such a thing.  Then he smiled.  "Ok, Kathryn, if you will."	
	I blinked, then thought of how nice it would be to have him 
come to the bridge 'dressed down' and realize that I never had any 
intention of doing so.  "All right, Chakotay.  You're on."
  	"Oh, come on, it'll be fun-" He paused, smiled.  "You'll do 
it?" 
	 I nodded, and he gave a shout and hopped to his feet.  Then he 
lost his balance and fell over.  I giggled, and the entire assembled 
senior staff laughed so hard they fell over too.

The Next Morning

	 "Oooohhhhh," I moaned as I stumbled onto the bridge for my 
duty shift.  My head hurt, my eyes hurt, and places I hadn't known 
could hurt hurt.  I had the worst hangover.
	 Tripping over the step on my way to the chair, I heard Tuvok 
shout at me.  "Captain, perhaps you should go to Sickbay!"
 	I sat down and squinted at him.  "Tuvok, there's really no 
need to shout on the bridge.  And no, I don't want to go to Sickbay.  
There's no need."
 	He raised his eyebrow, but made no further comments.  Just 
then the turbolift doors opened, and Chakotay stumbled in, wearing a 
bow tie and tight, black leather pants that had straps over his 
shoulders.  His comm badge was pinned to the bow tie.
 	Tuvok's eyebrow raised even higher at the sight, so high I 
thougt that it might fall off his face in a moment.  "Captain, Tuvok," 
Chakotay nodded, holding his head in his hands.	\
	"Commander," I replied, trying to stifle my grin.  It didn't 
work.  The grin just came out, and with it a round of giggles.
	Chakotay looked me over.  "Captain, you're in your uniform!  
Why?" 
	I glanced over my outfit, having forgotten that today was 
dress up/dress down day.  "I guess I forgot."
	He frowned, then sat down in his chair.  "So I'm stuck with 
this stupid outfit for the rest of the day.  Great."	
	"Deal with it, Commander.  At least you don't look like me," 
Tom said from the helm.	
	I turned and glanced at him, not having noticed him before.  
His hair was bright red (what he had left of his hair, anyway) and for 
some reason his face was paler than it was before, and his nose was a 
bright red bulb.  "Did you decide to go as Rudolph?" I asked him.	
	"Ha ha," he replied snidely.  "B'Elanna and I had too much to 
drink last night, and I'll leave the rest to your imagination."	
	My imagination ran away without me, obviously thinking that 
they were too weird for it to handle.  Oh well, it was probably for the 
better.  "Oh," I replied.  
	"Captain, we're receiving a hail," Harry Kim said from his 
station.  I turned to glance at him and almost screamed aloud.
	He wore a wig, long, thick and blond, atop his head and his 
eyes had been lined (very badly lined, I might add) with some sort of 
dark coloured eyeliner.  They were also shadowed a bright magenta 
colour, which was very hard to see because of the very large glued on 
eyelashes that curled almost up to his eyebrows.  His cheeks looked 
like they had been slapped a couple hundred times, they were so red, 
and his lips were coloured so messily with red, that he had lipstick 
on his teeth.  "What happened, Harry?" I asked, trying to figure out 
where I had gone wrong.
	"Seven wanted to experiment on makeup after drinking the punch, 
and she didn't have a mirror, so she couldn't do it to herself," Harry 
muttered.  "Should I put the hail through or what?"
	I nodded, and turned back the to the viewscreen.  What an 
oddball crew I had.
	"I am Teranzina of the Zar.  You are in our space," the alien, 
who apparently happened to be female and unclothed, said.  "Why?"
	"I'm sorry," I hastened to reply.  The last thing I needed 
right now was a hostile alien.  "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway, of the 
Federation Starship Voyager.  We're only trying to get back to our 
home."
	Teranzina looked past her at Chakotay, and before her at Tom.  
"You are female?"  I nodded.  "And those are male?"  I nodded again.  
"Ha, ha, ha!  You treat your males very poorly!  You treat your males 
like the Zar treat their males!  I like you, Captain Kathryn Janeway.  
We not shoot you because you are like us, though restricted."
	Obviously by restricted meant restricted by our clothes, but I 
didn't care.  She wasn't going to fire on us.  That's all that mattered.  
"Thank you.  That is very generous of you."
	Teranzina nodded, then cut the transmission.  Once again, 
disaster had been averted by the very odd crew of Voyager.
	I shook my head, disbelieving what just happened.  "I don't 
know," I muttered to myself.
	"Captain?" Chakotay asked.  Obviously he had heard me.
	"I just don't know," I said louder, sitting down in my chair.  

The End
Feedback much appreciated.
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