Title: Impractical Jokes
Author: Dana Quell
Rating: PG
Classification: SRH
Spoilers:  ARCADIA!!!!  MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ARCADIA!!!  Well, not really major, but pretty big.  It's the story's foundation.
Disclaimer:  We all know the little ditty by now, I should hope.  They don't belong to me!!!  They belong to CC and the rest of that bloodthirsty crew!  Don't sue!
Author's Notes:  Okay, when you get a bit of insomnia after just watching an XF ep, what do you do?  Well, I go and come up with a story plot.  This is the effect of my brain on four hours of sleep, so if it's not as well written as some of my other stories were, it's because I am insomnic (is that even a word?  Oh, well, just my sleepy brain).

Impractical Jokes
By Dana Quell

~~~~~Highway to the San Diego Airport~~~~~
     Mulder groaned, knowing that right that second Skinner was probably laughing up the fact that his two most troublesome agents were playing house.  Not that he cared; he'd play house with Scully any day, but the fact that Skinner knew (or at least guessed) their emotions for each other, and still used them for this assignment.  It just plain pissed him off.
     He knew that it pissed Scully off, too, so when he came up with the perfect plan to get even with their superior, she listened, and agreed.
~~~~~Two Weeks Later~~~~~
     Skinner rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to clear away the headache he felt coming on from doing so much paperwork for hours at a time.  To top it off, one of his agents were coming in to see him about something very urgent, something that couldn't wait.  Skinner could just see the bombshell that she was going to drop on him; 'Sir, I can't work anymore with that lunatic!  I'd like to request reassignment right away.'
     "Sir, Agent Scully is here to see you," Kim, Skinner's secretary, announced.
     "Send her on in," he replied, shifting in his seat uncomfortably.
     The petit redhead pushed her way in past the secretary and sat downin her usual seat.  "Uh, sir, I'm sorry for barging in here, but it's important."
     Skinner nodded.  Everything was important when he was dealing with Mulder and Scully's precious 'X-Files'.  "Go on, Agent."
     Scully nodded, then took a deep gulp.  "Uh, sir, well.  I'm pregnant."  When she got no answer from Skinner, she continued to ramble.  "I didn't think I was able to, so, er, you know."
     Skinner nodded.  "You are going to continue working, right?"  For now, that's all he could think of to say.
     She nodded.  "Until I can't possibly continue, I will be working with Mulder as usual on the X-Files."
     The X-Files.  Why couldn't they ever get through a conversation without mentioning the X-Files?  They weren't the entire world.  There was life around the X-Files.  
     "Well, congratulations.  Is that all?" he asked.  She nodded, and began to get up.  "Agent Scully."  She turned.  "If you don't mind me asking, who's is it?"  So he couldn't help his curiousity.  He had a feeling he knew who's it was anyway.
     "Agent Mulder's, sir," she replied, then made a hasty exit out of the door.
~~~~~X-Files Office~~~~~
     Mulder looked up at the sound of the door opening to see his partner walk through the door.  "How'd it go?"
     "Let's just say that if I ever decide to quit the FBI, I'm going to become a world famous actress," she replied, sitting at the desk opposite him.
     Mulder sat up a bit straighter in his chair.  "He bought it?"
     A huge smile spread across Scully's face.  "He ate up every word better than if I had force fed it to him."
     "Great.  So Plan Revenge is a go."  Now a grin that equalled Scully's spread across Mulder's face, and two evil laughs echoed throughout the office.
~~~~~Just outside the X-Files Office~~~~~
     Skinner was about to knock on the door to tell Agent Scully that she had dropped a sealed envelope in his office on her way out, when he heard her voice drifting through the thin door.
     "Let's just say that if I ever decide to quit the FBI, I'm going to become a world famous actress."
     His curiousity now peaked, Skinner put his ear to the door and listened more.  "He bought it?"
     "He ate up every word better than if I had force fed it to him."
     "Great.  So Plan Revenge is a go."  Skinner took his ear away from the door once he heard the laughter that came after and quickly began walking away.  Plan Revenge?  What could they possibly be trying to get back at him for?  Sudden realization came upon him; the case assignment 2 weeks back.  The one where they had been undercover as a married couple.  So, they wanted to play a little game of revenge; well, Skinner was game.
~~~~~1 Month Later~~~~~
     Scully pointed her flashlight and gun through the darkness, trying desperately to capture the bad guy and find her way through the pitch black.  They had been pursuing this guy for three weeks now, and she'd be damned if she was going to let him slip through her fingers.  Suddenly there were footsteps behind her, and she whirled to see who it was.  She was too late.  All she saw before her attacker shot her was a flash of purple.
~~~~~Bethseda Hospital~~~~~
     Waking up in a hospital bed, Scully couldn't remember anything for a moment.  Then she remembered everything and groaned.   Why did her life have to be so complicated?  
     Glancing around the room, she found she was not alone.  Mulder, Skinner, and a nurse she didn't recognize were standing beside her bed.  Well, hovering would have been the correct word.
     Mulder took her hand and playfully swung it around.  "Hey.  You gave us all a huge shock.  How're you feeling?"
     "Other than feeling like I was shot?  Fine."
     The nurse stepped forward.  "I'm sorry.  You lost the baby."
     Scully stared at her.  "What?"  Then she remembered the joke that she and Mulder were playing on Skinner.  "Oh, oh.  Right."  She tried her best to look sorrowful.
     Mulder just stared at the nurse.  Skinner shifted on his feet.  "Um, I'd better go.  I just wanted to check and see how you were doing.  I'm sorry, Agent Scully."
     Scully nodded, biting her lip, hoping that that would make it look as if she was sorry too.  "Yes, sir, go on ahead.  I appreciate your concern."
     Skinner nodded and left.  Scully turned to Mulder and the nurse.  "Thank you for playing along," she said to the nurse.  
     "Playing along?" the nurse replied, confused.  
     Mulder glanced at Scully.  "Um, Scully, I didn't tell her anything, or tell her to say that, or even pay her off to tell that to Skinner."
     Scully raised an eyebrow.  "What?"
     The nurse smiled ruefully.  "I'm sorry again about the baby.  But if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on other patients.  If you feel like talking, though, we've got a counselor on the premises twenty four hours a day, seven days a week."  With that, she turned and left.
     Scully turned to Mulder.  "But if you didn't... then, how?"
     Mulder simply shrugged.
~~~~~Outside Scully's Hospital~~~~~
     Skinner waited outside the open door, just beyond the vision of those inside.  He listened to the conversation taking place between the three, and when the nurse came out, he pulled her aside.  
     "Thank you for playing along," he said quietly, taking a couple of bills from his pocket and pressing them into her palm.
     She looked at what he gave her and sighed.  "No problem," she replied, giving back the money.  "It was my pleasure."  She gave him one last look and walked away.
     Skinner stood in the hallway, a huge grin plastered on his face, for five minutes before he began walking to the parking lot.

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