I`d rather be dreaming than living
`cuz living is nothing like dreaming...
...dreams may just be pretend
but at least dreams end

Sometimes life can be pretty dang crappy. Before I go on, my life isn`t all that bad right
now. But boy has it been! I`ve certainly been nominated as an expert on the theory that
Life is a Beeeotch...and then you die. Ok, the reason for this is that I know for a fact that
you don`t have to dwell in the sewers knowing nothing good can happen.

But to all those fortunate enough to have lived a charmed wonderful life, have you ever
stopped to think what it would be like to never have anything good happen? I don`t
mean being able to feel empathy for the less fortunate, but to go through the bad times
and never see it get better, even if for a moment. Can you imagine? I can hardly bear
the thought.

I`ve been through some trials almost convincing me that
I had come to the end. And that because of some cruel joke of God, I was forgotten
and left on earth to wander until some observant angel happened on me, "Hey, she isn`t
supposed to be here? Remember? We decided decades ago that she was done. Why is
she still here?"

For some reason I decide to keep going and make some changes. I mean what the heck?
I have nothing to lose at this point. The pain has been so bad that I can handle almost
anything, so why not just endure it until that angel trips on my pathetic toes.

Then one day I realized this. This streak of pain and suffering that I had been enduring
actually wasn`t sh`it. When I broke down each individual event that added to the pile of
dung I called my life, I had to laugh. I hadn`t had it that bad. I was one of those people
who had lived a charmed life, getting pretty much all I wanted. All the friends, lovers,
experiences and thrills I saw in my back logs were also part of my life. Seriously, I have
had a damned good life! If I were to put my life into some anthology it would be a
freaking blockbuster, coming of age, comedy freaking action adventure movie. Some
day I will write an autobiography that will be that legacy for my family to pass on for
centuries to come. When things started getting tough, it all happened at once. One
fu`cked up incident after another came with such precise timing that I never had a
chance to get up, brush off and reevaluate what had just happened. I see things
differently now. I`m luckier than anyone I know.