The "delighted" comes from a certain revelation I came to about myself
that night. Being the
cold fish that I am,I haven't been able to open up and
connect with someone in sh'it knows
how long. That night I did. I don't care
what happens next (and I have no way of reconnecting
with him), but the
knowing that it can happen - and with me - is a positive sign. I'm not
completely frozen. For the time being I won't be toying with the illusions
of a basket case.
Back to the shame: I woke the next morning soaked in a horrible daze.
Morning? I meant
afternoon, as I didn't even get to bed until close to 6:00
AM. I hate when I do that. Did I
dream the whole rad evening? Did my
alcohol drenched mind make up all the interesting
details of my encounter?
Come to think of it, I had been fighting this bug for the past couple
of
days, and may have increased the risk of a flu - and hallucination - just by
going out. Just by
drinking any alcohol at all. What was I thinking? Here
comes the shame again! I am so good at
this.
Now, think about the adult version of this account. That`s what I`ll be doing.