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& The Importance of Family The United States of America is a country with a many ethic groups. African- American, Mexican-American, and Asia -American. A lot of us are poor, sick, and uneducated. Some of us do not speak English well. Korean Americans are struggling, and they are vulnerable. Korean Americans arrived seeking a new life for themselves and for their children, hoping to find greater economic opportunities and personal freedom. Korean Americans have immigrant to the United States during different periods and through different courses. Korean Americans are perpetually engaged in a struggle for equal standing with the white majority. In the world, no matter where we are there is a many different types of struggling in our human life today. The main struggle in our life today is crime. Crimes occur any place and any time in our human life today. Korean Americans experience a many different types of crime in United States today. Korean Americans working in inner cities often find themselves caught up in the tensions of crime, and early Korean immigrants faced opposition and open discrimination from all corners of American society, including political side, labor unions, and intellectual circles. Among the different types of struggles above, this essay will focus on Korean American domestic violence. What is the domestic violence? The cause of domestic violence, and does domestic violence any influence to our human life today? What is the best result? Domestic violence is physical and/or emotional abuse by a family member, sexual partner of household member. Accordingly Korean American Family Service Center, among the many counsel subject first major counsel subject is conflict between first generation and second generation, and second major counsel subject is troubles between husband and wife. Family is small important part of our community (union) life. A Korean aphorism "anything with a good beginning makes a good ending". The right path of our family life will be the first important experience that we have to face together, and surely the right path of our family life will lead us into the bright future! Given the demographic pattern of family immigration, the post-1965 population of Korean Americans is usually identified along generational lines; il-se (the "first" generation) of adult immigrants; their children, often called il-jom-o-se (the "one-point-five" generation, children of first generation born in Korea); and i-se (the "second" generation), those who were born in the United States. Korean Americans comprise one of the fastest growing ethnic groups in the United States today. According to the United States Department of Commerce's 1990 Census of Population, 836,987 Korean-Americans had settled in the United States. The 1997 statistical Yearbook of the Immigration and Naturalization Service states that 14,239 Koreans were admitted to the United States. Although many are college educated and held white-collar jobs in Korea, it is difficult for Korean immigrants to obtain work commensurate with their experience. Language difficulties, restricted access to corporate America, and unfamiliarity with American culture are all contributing factors. I. Conflicts between generations The different culture is cause of domestic violence occurring between first and second generation. The first generation of Korean Americans grew up in Korea, and the second generations grew up in United States. The first generation of Korean Americans were educated in Korea, and they have strong stereotype of Korean culture. The second generations are educated in United States, and some of them never visited Korea. Nevertheless, the first generation of Korean Americans adults are gives an order to second generation to learn Korean culture and forcing them to learn a different type of life style and different type of old etiquette. The situation above, most second generation feel a spirit of insubordination, and automatically quarrel occur very often, and some physical abuse might be involved if they do not followed order. Our first generation adults have totally different knowledge of whipping their children. In Korea, most of our parents whipping their child for leading them to right path of life and whipping them for any bad behavior. But since they moved in United States, our first generation adults are having very difficult situation because they can not whipping their children any how, and even child going to wrong direction of life. Whipping their children in United States has arrested some of our first generation adults. This kind of happen is very unfamiliar to Korean adults, and that happen is never and ever imaginably to Koran adults. Mr. K's family for example; This family immigrant United States in 1985, and Mr. K has two children who troublemakers according Mr. K. He was tired to lead them to right direction of life now. Mr. K said, "I worked very hard to last fifteen years to support my family, and I tried to be nice father to my kids." But the present day, the oldest son joined the gang and the youngest son did not finish high school. Mr. K did not understand the situation he is having today, and he said he tried as best as his could. Mr. K did not understand because of a different generation and different mental status. In the United States today, many Korean American adults said to second generation, "When I was in your age, I did not live that way." I heard that too when I was in middle school. I met Mr. K in the Korean American Family Service Center. He came to Korean American Family Service Center with his older son because he wants to try to help him one more time and he request professionals advice. The sad thing is Mr. K did not want to cooperate my interview anymore because he does not want to reveal his family story, and he said, "it is very embarrassing thing to talk." As in the example above, it is very difficult to making relationship with the new environment. Here is the interesting opinion from G. G mentions that life in United States is very comfortable and very easy for him to adapt. Schooling life in the United States is very flexible and easy because no one cares about whether he is attending school or absent. He said, " it is very easy to deceive parents because they do not speak or understand English." Most of our second generation Korean Americans deceive their parents at once in their school life. In the current life in the United States, most of our second generation do not want to do anything with their parents because parents talk too much and they say too many unreasonable story. It is very not good to doing that, but sometimes it is necessary to deceive parents. We try to explain about our behavior, but they never show any effort to understand us, and they just ignored our opinion. Many first generation Korean American adults have unreasonable hope. Most first generation of Korean American adults try to achieve their hope from their children, and if children do not follow parents' order, then Korean adults force their children to lead them where ever they want. Of course, there will be resistance by second generation because they knew that is unreasonable order, and that is very unreasonableness thing, but our first generation of Korean American adults said, "Why don't you ever try!" Therefore, many first generation Korean American adults are having a very difficult to understand the second generation today. Our first generation does not understand our second generation because of old Korean traditional stereotypical thoughts, and our second generation has new ideas and a new mind to follow the new era. In the present day, many first generation Korean Americans visit the Korean American Family Service Center. The Korean American Family Service Center provides domestic violence victim counseling, domestic violence batterer's treatment, parenting education, child abuse and neglect prevention, community education for domestic violence prevention, and youth delinquency and violence prevention. Especially, the Korean American Family Service Center focuses on parenting education because a lot of Korean adults are arrested for whipping their children. To better understand, here is one ironic sentence; "when in Rome, learn the Roman's law." This sentence represents to us that if you are in a totally different or new environment, then obey that situation's rules and follow them without any doubt. Then that is the best way to adapt in new life. II. Conflicts between husbands and wives Another serious domestic violence occurs between husbands and wives. One in five women victimized by a spouse or ex-spouse report they had been victimized over and over again by the same person. Most domestic violence occurs between husband and wife-- the leading cause of injury to women. Battered women are often severely injured: twenty-two to thirty-five percent of women who visit medical emergency rooms are there for injuries related to ongoing partner abuse. According to the Korean American Family Service Center, the typical injured woman's age is between fifteen and forty-four. The largest number of injured women are between age thirty-one to fifty years old. The 1998 statistics of Korean American Family Service Center states eighty-five Korean men were arrested for beating their spouse, fifteen men committed serious violence had been punished, and three Korean men were deported to Korea. According to statistics of the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office in 1998, the number of domestic violation keeps increasing every year, and fifty-nine Korean men were arrested for domestic violence in 1997. The above statistics of Los Angeles City Attorney's Office show a forty percent increase in domestic violence between 1997 and 1998. T.C Kim, who works for the domestic violence department of the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office, said, "the main reason of increasing domestic violence among Korean immigrants is because of Korean wives' fear to make a report to police." Also, T.C Kim said, "They fear future tragic influence by their husband, and they feel that it is very embarrassing to make a report." T.C Kim pointed another reason: "The Korean wives' new environment in United States make them less responsible to their husbands." The Korean wives' new life in the United States has changed a lot today. More details of Korean wives life in Korea will follow in the section on life in Korea. According to Korea Times on October 2, 1997 the Korean women were the number one group victimized by domestic violence compared to other ethic groups. Most of our Korean mothers have a strong perseverance. If any negative situation occurs on in the family, most of our Korean mothers never tell anybody because our Korean mothers always sacrifice for the family and that sacrifice mindset came from Korean old culture. Other ethnic groups rarely understand the above Korean mother's attitude, but this is learned from the generations. Mother is always a lovely person more than our father because mothers' love is greater than fathers', and mother is always sweet and comfortable character for our young people. Here is one tragic story by Korea Times on October 18, 1996: a forty some year old Korean man committed suicide with a gun to his head on October 16, 1996. The main reason of man's tragic story was family discord. According to the Korean American Family Service Center, about thirty percent of domestic violence occurred between men and women who lived together without marriage. In the above tragic story, the woman lived with a man without marriage, and a few years later she betrayed him. So, the man killed himself because he was very disappointed and could not forgive her. In the situation, the women is not always victim of domestic violence today, but in the Korean American Family Service Center, most victims of domestic violence are the women. About seventy Korean men took domestic violence program by court order in 1996. Korean American Family Service Center approximates that ten Korean men register in the domestic violence program every month. Howard Kim, project manager of Korean American Family Service Center said, "the greater percentage of domestic violence occurs between men and women living together without marriage because they feel less responsibility toward each other than married couples." Do men and women living together without the marriage think that they can break up at any time they want to without any responsibility, and that kind of mind often makes quarrels. These quarrels are the starting of much serious domestic violence today. Although cohabitation is the site of significant violence, a greater percentage occurs between husbands and wives. Hyung Chul Byun, outreach worker of Korean American Family Service Center said, "the direct cause of violence occurs between husband and wife is that both of them have an unsympathetic mind toward each other." The unfamiliarity of American culture is making us unsympathetic the United States today. The Korean men have very strong stereotypes toward to Korean women, but in the United States it is very difficult to control wives as men might wish. Most Korean adult men still think the husband is always right no matter what and that wives have to always obey their husband's order without any doubt. This kind of mind leads to serious violence between husbands and wives in United States today because in the United States domestic violence law considers the above unreasonable behavior. Nevertheless, still many Korean men ignore rules of domestic violence in the United States, and they do not care how serious domestic violence is treated here United States. Especially, new immigrants commit domestic violence very often because they have such a weak perception of domestic violence, and they think beating their own wife is no big deal. Consider Korean men's thinking that wife beating is no big deal. In Korea, many husband beat their wife often times. About ten years ago Korean domestic violence law was much less enforced than today-Which is still treated less strictly than in the United States. When violence occurred between husbands and wives no one meddled with their private life and few reported to police such quarrels. A simple quarrel and a little physical abuse occurred between husband and wife very often in Korea, and Korean husbands always have excuses for beating their wives. For example, if a wife came home late in the evening or a child got hurt with their too little concern. If she spend too much money without any particular reason or less care about parents-in-law or less responsible of wives and mothers work. In Korean culture the father is always a head person of family. The father has power to control the family and the family must obey any order from the father. My father told me this sentence a very often: "The man has to be always strong and never give up on life, and men must to have powerful management skill for family." Many Korean men in the United States today have lost their own powerful family management skill. Here is one familiar funny sentence to Korean people and most of Korean men were saying this frequently; "The United States is a beautiful country for women and children only." The life style in the United States is not good for Korean men because they can not use their own power to control the family in the United States. The Korean American Family Service Center was founded in 1983 under the name "Korean Family Counseling and Legal Advice Clinic" by a group of Korean-American women influenced by Dr. Tai Young Lee, Korea's first female lawyer and an activist for women's and children's rights. Korean-American Family Center is a non-profit, community-based organization whose programs and services are geared to the needs of the immigrant Korean population, especially women, children and low-income families, who are struggling emotionally, psychologically and socially in their adopted environment. Also, they provide Asian Shelter and Advocacy Project (ASAP) which is New England's first and only battered Asian women shelter program providing multilingual and multicultural services to victims of domestic violence. Asian Shelter and Advocacy Project provides safety and support services to victims of family violence to lead independent, violence-free-lives. The purpose of the Korean American Family Service Center is to support and strengthen Korean American families and individuals through counseling, education and other social services in the greater Los Angeles area. Since the Korean American Family Service Center created in 1983. Since Korean American Family Service Center established they provided many important information, and they provided and supported developing great Korean community today. The Los Angeles Korean community advertise the Korean American Family Service Center through media and newspaper, and they invite Korean American immigrants having any problems. Such as divorce, sexual problem, distrust, financial problem, family conflict, physical abuse, and extra marital affairs, gambling, alcohol abuse, drug abuse. Above the counsel subject, more than half of percentage covers physical abuse, and twenty percent of family conflict. Among Korean American adults visited Korean American Family Service Center, they also counsel about child problems. Such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, education, and mental health, parent/child conflict, delinquency, substance abuse. In the child counseled subject, an approximately one-third of them about children's education. According the Korean American Family Service Center, approximately one-third of the men counseled (for battering) are professional men who are well respected in their jobs and their communities. These have included doctors, psychologists, lawyers, ministers, and business executives. Based on marital status, first married couples visited the Korean American Family Service Center in 1998, more than remarried couples. According the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office domestic violence department, the higher percentage covers first marriage couple because most Korean American first generations are accustomed to more Korean old culture than United States. Managing a harmonics life in the United States can be very difficult. Therefore, the most Korean men tried to compare life between Korea and United States. Most remarried Korean couples are had a divorce experience in Korea and are trying to make a new life in United States. They show more effort to making a better family than first marriage couples. The first generation living in the United States today are often college educated people who held white collar jobs in Korea, but according to statistics of Korean American Family Service Center in 1998 an approximately one-third of their clients are four year college educated people. The high education does not necessarily prevent domestic violence. C's family for example, lives without children, but they quarrel very often because of cultural conflict them. Mr. C is a research scientist in University of California Los Angeles Medical Center. Mr. C was born in United States and Mrs. C was born in Korea. Mrs. C met Mr. C in college. They had dated for only six months, and they decided to marry because Mrs. C was however impressed with Mr. C's very nice attitude towards to her. Not long after they married, they quarreled frequently about opposite. Mr. C's life was native born in United States, but he wants his own family life with Korean style because he thinks that is better to him. Mr. C grow up with old traditional Korean life under his parents, and even though he was born in United States he has old Korean traditional life style. Mrs. C has totally different opposite opinion of Mr. C's behavior because she liked Mr. C's American style, and Mrs. C impressed Mr. C's attitude during dating before they got a married. After they got married, Mrs. C was upset because Mr. C wanted to control her and make family life with the unhappy Korean life style. The reason Mrs. C determined to marry with a second generation Korean American because she saw many poor women's life in Korea, and she wants to escape from that life. Many similar cases of husband and wife conflicts registered in Korean American Family Service Center today. III. A quick decision can change whole your life forever! According to the Korean American Family Service Center, another main counseling subject is Korean youth gang related crime. In April 20, 1999 Korean Central Daily states that Korean youth gang related crime is rapidly increasing today. Statistics of the University of California Irvine estimate the total number of Korean gang related crimes occurred fifty-nine percent in 1996 and sixty-five percent occurred in 1997 and seventy percent occurred in 1998. The Korean Central Daily also states the research of Federal Bureau Investigation (F.B.I) and city of Irvine Police Department, the Asian gangs are harder to identify since they do not have a particular dress code. According the Korean American Family Service Center, the Korean American youth gang members are tend to be violent and prey on their own culture, especially new immigrants. Most of our second and one-point-five generation spend their relax time alone or their friends because most of our first generation adults spend their time in the work place and return home late in the evening. Sometimes parents work on holidays too. Naturally not much communication goes on between parents and children, and automatically our children become isolated from the family. Probably that is another cause of domestic violence and more serious family domestic violence in the future. According the Korean Central Daily on May 3, 1999 fifteen percent of our Korean teenage ages between thirteen to nineteen experienced run away from home, and among the half of them experienced used drugs. In July 2, 1998 both the Korean Central Daily and Korea Times covered the seriousness of Korean teenage crime. Some Korean American teenage criminals rent a one single apartment and more than ten Korean American teenage live together. Most of them in run away from home, and some are rich parents' children. It is easy to become involved crime activity. Most of them are English--speaking kids, and most of them are second generation of Korean American, and they were educated in United States. Interestingly, the one-point-five generation of Korean Americans and second generation of Korean Americans find harmony difficult because of culture. Most of one-point-five generation of Korean Americans rarely understand second generation Korean Americans' bad behavior, because the first generation thinks if they could handle the English as same as second generation then they would not make any problems. When I was in immigrant to the United States about ten years ago I always thought that if I could speak English as perfect as second generation of Korean American, then I thought I could do anything I wanted in United States. According the Korea Times on January 7, 1998 eighteen percent of Korean youth receiving counseling are dealing with gang related crimes. About a two percent increase from the previous year. Further youth crime is becoming more dangerous every year. According to the Korean American Family Service Center, friends contaminate good friends to gang activity. The one-point-five generation of Korean Americans and second generation of Korean Americans spend most of their time with friends. It is easy to follow bad activity because they are too young to control themselves, and young people have strong curiosity. Today, our youth join gang activity because our parents have less concern, and our parents trust their children too much. I have a neighbor seventeen years old. I saw him smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol, but when his parents visited my parents, his parents said very often times "my son is a good boy, and he does not know any bad activity. He is a very quiet boy." Most of our Korean parents believe "my children is an exception." The Korean drama title, "second generation Korean American," pointed out the reason of the second generations dealing with only the second generation because they could understand better their behavior. Korean American gang related crime is same situation. No one understands their gang activity except themselves. The reason they commit crimes is resistance to our parents because our first generation Korean American adults said, "Do not do this and this! That is bad for you!" Most of our adults make too many objections for our second generation's behavior without particular criteria, and they do not provide any better solutions. The director of Korean American Family Service Center Young Kim has counsel a few Korean gang members. Every time he counsels young Korean gang members, Mr. Kim felt they have strong dissatisfaction towards to parents, and they have strong hostility. Young Kim mentions that the best solution to protect our children from crime will be for parents to show real love and give children encouragement all the time. Just wait until they change by themselves, and do not try using coercive power to change them. IV. Results and Conclusion According the T.C Kim, first generation of Korean American adults need to spend more time with our second generation, and try to associate with their lives. Show them the importance of family life, and show them a real lovely parent mind. Our second generation of Korean Americans need to understand more Korean culture, and trying to harmonize with Korean culture. Do not think so negatively about our parents' behavior, and share opinions with parents. Never forget, "respect our parents at all times and trust our parents that, they always care about us and never lead us to the wrong direction." According the Young Kim the best solution of conflict between husband and wife is be more concerned for each other. Flash back their memory to years and years before their marriage. Remember how much they loved each other, and think about the promise that they made on the first day of marriage. To be more flexible, and try to accept each others' opinions. Young Kim mentioned a very important message to Korean American husband and wives, "always think one more time before you move on to next step." According the T.C Kim, the best solution protect our new generation from crime will be make impress them with real love, and teach them importance of group activity. Do not always object to children's behavior and listen and think about children's feeling before making judgement. This essay reveals the seriousness of domestic violence based on Korean Americans' dealing with today, and reveals the Korean Americans' actual life in United States. Many Korean American first generations have poor skill to adopt new environments in United States, and different culture and different thoughts is very hard to harmonize with our second generation today. The Korean American Family Service Center is wonderful place to counseling domestic violence, and they provide a many important information to Korean community that easy to adopt new environment. The Korean American Family Service Center is largest group supported developing Korean community today. In our human life there will be much struggle ahead. A trying to have a positive mind, and try to be a winner between struggles and do not face away from any difficult situation. Before I finish my essay I want to say strongly to people reading my essay, "Absolutely, happy and healthy family opens our bright future!!! Work Cited Barringer, Herbert R. and Sung-Nam Cho. Koreans in the United States: A Fact Book. Honoulul: Center of Korean Studies, University of Hawaii, 1989. H.W. Pak. "Who are the Korean Americans?": Reference Library of 1991. The majority of material from a December, 1992 report by the Bureau of Justice Statistics entitled, "Drugs, Crime and The Justice System." Jeffery Butts and D.J. Connors-Beatty, "Juvenile Court's Response to Violent Offenders," U.S Department of Justice, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Special Report, (April, 1993) Source: National Youth Gang Information Center and the California Gang Investigators Association Bureau of Justice Statistics Study, (1987) Cliff Roberson, LL.M., Ph.D. The Criminal Justice (1991) Interview: T.C. Kim, Victim Service Coordinator in Los Angeles City Attorney's Office (April 13, 1999) Interview: Young Kim, Director of Korean American Family Service Center (April 15, 1999) Interview: Howard Kim, Projector Manager of Korean American Family Service Center (April 15, 1999) Interview: Hyung Chul Byun, Outreach Worker of Korean American Family Service Center (April 19, 20, 1999) The Korean Central Daily: (April 20, 1999) (May 3, 1999) The Korea Times: (October 18, 1996) (October 2, 1997) (January 7, 1998) |
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