The well-read among you (that would probably be the majority) have more than likely noticed that the title of this page is a literary allusion to the classic work "Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" by Robert Louis Stevenson. I thought it an apt comparison, for much like that famed split personality, Dr. Laura Schlessinger seems to be of two minds...

You see, what Dr. Laura says on her radio show; the "advice" she gives to the many people who come to her for help seems to heavily conflict with the way Dr. Laura has lived and continues to live her life. This has led me to conclude that Dr. Laura has another personality, who for the purposes of this bit we shall name "Ms. Schlessinger". Consider the evidence...

But Ms. Schlessinger ...

A.) has not spoken to her mother since the late 80's. (1)

B.) "does not see much" of her younger sister (to quote her Husband). (2)

C.) hired her mother as a secretary. She quit after Laura told her to "learn how to type".

D.) has enocuraged her husband to forget his family... "My husband HAD a prior family. And I figured I went through 12 hours of labor and a C-section. I figured, I'm going to name this thing anything I want, and I said, 'Lew, do you have any problem with the last name Schlessinger? ' He said, 'No.'". (3)

E.) speaks out against birth control in any form, and yet has had her tubes tied. (4)

F.) shows an open disrespect for women who choose to have children AND jobs. And yet she is herself a working mother.

But Ms. Schlessinger ...

A.) has admited to having sex before marriage in college. (5)

B.) is herself divorced, despite enocuraging many disatisfied wives to stand by their men, no matter what. (1)

C.) had an affair with another man while she was married. (4)

D.) had an affair with her current husband while he was with his previous wife.

But Ms. Schlessinger ...

A.) is married to a man who isn't Jewish.

B.) has broken the commandment about "bearing false witness" in regard to the nude photos of her. On 10/29/98 she issued a statement through her lawyer saying that the photos are fake. They couldn't exist because none were ever taken. She later admitted that they were real.

But Ms. Schlessinger ...

A.) lied about the nude pictures of her.

B.) promotes her show as if she were qualified to give statments upon mental health. The truth is, Ms. Schlessinger's doctorate is in physiology. Not psychology or psychiatry. Physiology. About the only thing Dr. Laura is officially qualified to do is teach Physical Education in Jr. High. (6)

C.) took $30,000 for a speaking engagement, where she treated her hosts rudely and complained non-stop about everything possible. (7)

Congratulations Frauline Doktor. You've just won a Rushie. And in a truly historic occasion, you're the first woman to recieve one. Let it not be said that we here at the Rushie Awards discriminate against the females who work to make our lives a little more irritating.