Bart's Prankcalls
Bart with Lisa and Maggie
Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here?
Wait a minute...
Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out
who you are, I'm gonna kill you!
Bart and Lisa laugh
Bart with Lisa and Maggie
Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!
Marge picks up the extension and hears:
Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll
cut your belly open!
Bart with Lisa
Uh, is I.P. Freely here? Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely!
Wait a minute...
Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're
dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!
Bart and Lisa laugh
Bart with Lisa
Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!
Oh, wait a minute...Jacques Strap
It's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt? When I get a hold of
you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!
Bart laughs
Bart with Lisa
Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I
wanna Seymour Butz!
Oh, wait a minute...
Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands
on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!
Bart and Lisa laugh
Bart (in Principal Skinner's
office)
Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on, one of you guys has
gotta be Homer Sexual!
Homer says "Don't look at me!"
Oh, no...
You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my
teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!
Skinner, on the other end of the line, says "You'll do
what, young man?"
Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey,
has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to
catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an
ice pick!
Bart and Lisa laugh
Bart with Mrs. Krabappel and one
of the Sherri/Terri twins
Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and
big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt
Oh, wait a minute...
Bart laughs; Mrs. Krabappel sees him and then laughs as well
Bart
Uh, Hugh Jass? Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh
Jass!
There is a Hugh Jass at Moe's; he takes the call
Bart
Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea
O'Problem here?
Barney says "You sure do!"
Oh...it's you, isn't it?
Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head
for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!
Bart laughs
Bart
Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss!
Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney says "Maybe your standards are too high!"
You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to
shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your
butt!
Bart tells Moe his name is Jimbo Jones and gives his own
address: Jimbo and Laura Powers are making out in Bart's living
room
Laura Powers with Bart
Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tankle? All right, everybody, put down
your glasses, Ivana Tinkle!
Laura and Bart laugh
This isn't at Moe's; Moe is
taking over as the substitute teacher for Mrs. Krabappel's class
during the strike
OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or
"here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita
Bath?
The students in the classroom laugh
All right, settle down. Anita Bath here?
More laughs
All right, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks!
Still more laughs
Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it.
It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I
can't help that!
Moe runs out of the classroom crying as Bart crosses Moe's
name off of a list of what are now former substitute teachers
Mr. Burns says "I'm
looking for a Mr. Smithers, first name Wayland"
Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name
Wayland, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna
pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can
watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your
tongue to paint my boat!
(Homer) Hello, I'd
like to speak with a Mr. Snotball, first name Eura
(Moe) Eura SNotball?
(Homer) What? How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'll
staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!
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