Previous Commentary
The comments on this page are my own and may not be reproduced without my permission.I decided not to send this to the Reverend, since I figured it wouldn't accomplish anything. It did make me feel better writing it though.
14 February, 1999
Dear Dr. Falwell,
I am writing you because I am concerned with the messages we are sending the children of America. I have always felt it important to teach our children positive values and morals. Among these are honesty and respect. I feel it is important to educate them positively about the changing face of the United States and instill in them the values of honesty, integrity, and respect. We are a country of immigrants, each bringing values and cultural distinctions enriching the very fabric of life. This understanding promotes tolerance to differing points of view and, I believe a deeper respect for others and ultimately ourselves.
Last week there was national laughter over a Teletubbie. Outing an imaginary character? The issue is not whether Tinky-Winky is gay, but rather what message the show is presenting to our children. After watching the show, I fail to see where one could draw the conclusion that the show is promoting any special interest agenda.
Searching for a homosexual agenda in every nook and cranny is on par with McCarthy's search for communists. It is an attempt to create an irrational fear among the citizens of this fine country. Focusing on a minority of the population in order to further a personal agenda, dictating your moral standards, is no different from the Pharisees in the Temple, profiting in the name of religion.
Dr. Falwell, the morals you are teaching the youth in this country include hypocrisy, lying and selfish behavior. How can you say that you never said that one of the Teletubbies is gay, when you stated such on your personal web site, and on national television, during Good Morning America?
When you preach against homosexuals, you are encouraging the violation of civil rights. When you seek denial of equal rights for homosexuals, you are promoting elitism, and division within this country. The Bill of Rights is for everyone, not for whom you choose. When you judge a group of people based upon sweeping generalizations, not only do you speak out of ignorance, but also you promote hatred and intolerance. When you seek eradication of the "homosexual agenda", you are asking for 8-10% of this population to live lives of immorality. To create an atmosphere hostility and fear in America is to encourage people to go into hiding, to live lives of deception, lies and self-hatred.
You know nothing about me, nor do you know anything about the people you rally against (An unnatural fixation with the sexual activities of others indicates a reprobate mind). To make sweeping generalizations, to divide the citizens of this country along an imaginary moral line, is to create a spiritual civil war. But then again, it was never your goal to respect the diverse people of this country, was it? It has never been to enrich the fabric of life with what every person can offer has it. It has never been one to promote tolerance while staying your own moral course.
You preach that the values of our forefathers are being swept away. I think you may be right. Each time you get in front of the cameras, or up in the pulpit, or lecture to a group in this country, your acts are eroding key components of American values: honesty, integrity, and respect.
Need I remind you that God gave humanity free will? Was it not His desire for us to go to him, to love him totally with our hearts open? When a parent attempts to command respect through fear and punishment, he never achieves it. Preaching a gospel of fear may keep people in line, but unless their hearts and minds are open, they will never enter a loving relationship with God. You have the right to educate, but you do not have the right to deny. Ultimately each decision is up to the individual. Who are you to seek out and restrict the rights of the few? Who are you to scapegoat a segment of the population so that you may garner national media attention, to prop up your failing empire? Who are you to declare that all homosexuals are going to hell? Who are you to decide what is right for me or for my family? What gives you the right to restrict my life? Last time I checked this is not Russia in the thirties and you are not Stalin.
Dr. Falwell, I am angry. I like most people just want to live my life in peace. I just want to live it openly, honestly and not in fear. Yet that time has not come. How can it when there are so many out there, such as yourself, who actively promote repression of others?
Sincerely,
Stephen Price
It always amazes me how frequently and how subtly we face discrimination. Today in the Oregonian, I was reading the latest celebrity gossip in 'the People column'; a section that provides a sidebar of quotes from the famous. Today's featured Vince Vaughn complaining about Anne Heche and the "fuss about being gay." I didn't find offense with his quote, but rather the explanation of it's context: "Vince Vaughn, actor, slamming his co-star Anne Heche for using her affair with Ellen DeGeneres to get some free publicity."*
Her affair.
When I think of an affair, I conjure images of a married man and his mistress engaging in adultery. I think of a secret relationship that violates a commitment to a spouse. Affair. The word sounds like it should be whispered. Its syllables intone shame. Romanticised, it becomes forbidden fruit: deliciously sinful. Pragmatized, it's a justification for selfish behaviour.
Perhaps I missed something. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't Ellen and Anne in a committed relationship? Aren't they living out and openly together? Aren't they proud of the life they share? If same-sex marriage were legal, could they very possibly be married? Their relationship is something other than an affair. It is much more. They are a couple.
It's the little phrases we need to watch out for. Subtly we are told our relationships aren't "as real". When our relationships are described with words like 'affair', we are told that our relationships are not legitimate, fleeting, forbidden and unstable. Legislation limits the definitions of our relationships. . We cannot marry. Legally denied the same benefits that married couples may enjoy, we are restricted in this land of freedom and opportunity.
Her affair.
We can't say marriage, spouse, husband, or wife, but we can say Her relationship, His partner, her girlfriend, or his boyfriend. Words may limit us, but our feelings are no less real. There is a danger, when words are carelessly used. They define us. Until laws assure us the same equal rights and protection that everyone should enjoy, we must not allow ourselves to be restricted by bigoted phrases, no matter how subtle.
* Compiled by Rod Patterson, The Oregonian, Wednesday, January 20, 1999
15 November, 1998
A long time ago, I prayed to God to remove a "hideous and evil desire" that was gripping me. Baptism in the Holy Spirit didn't remove it. Studying the bible daily, memorizing scripture, didn't change me. Prayer didn't cure me. Maybe if I prayed hard enough, God would "cleanse" my mind. If I went to church several times a week, I would no longer be perverted. I joined the Navigators, attended Campus Crusade for Christ meetings, knocked on dorm doors, witnessing for Jesus; yet nothing changed. On weekends I was a mime for Jesus. Wearing black tights, ballet slippers and white grease paint, I would struggle to get out of boxes, climb ladders, and fall off tightropes. While I was doing this, others would hand out "turn or burn" tracts (and I wonder why people can't stand mimes!), I still had homosexual desires.
I wasn't cured. My dreams would still be homoerotic. I would develop crushes on men, which I would suppress. I became increasingly unhappy. The more I would delve into religion, the unhappier I became. The pressure became greater. Increasingly, I felt at odds with the others in the group. I couldn't understand why God wouldn't heal me. I was promised that if I prayed and believed hard enough, God would answer my prayers.
I continued to pray to God to make me straight. He still denied me. Or so I thought. What I gradually began to realize, was that my mind was systematically being shut down. My thoughts were discouraged. If they weren't scripturally based, then I shouldn't pursue them. My inner struggle accelerated. It wasn't just my homosexual desires, it was my own free will.
When I recalled a lesson that was taught to me in my youth, things began to change for me. "God loves us. He desires us to love him back. He loves us so much, that he gave us free will. He wants our love for him to be genuine, from our heart, not because he said so."
The "worship God or be burned in Hellfire" lessons I was being fed, contradicted God's desire for us to love him. Emphasizing that God should be feared left little room for us to love God. Fear is not love. Fear is selfish. It took awhile for me to realize I was doing things out of fear. I had always been uncomfortable with witnessing. My talents were elsewhere, but they were never explored or encouraged. I had to witness. I had to spread the "Good News", just like everyone else in the group. We were spreading a gospel of fear. The weekly quotas spoke less of sharing God's love and more of trying to please the leaders of the group. My life should be an example. It should speak of Christ's love within me, not because some youth leader said I should do it to win favor with God.
I left the group. When it became evident that I was a "backslider", I was shunned. People who were my friends would not acknowledge my existence. I was dead to them.
Shortly after leaving, I began to feel alive. My spirit began to soar. My homosexual desires didn't subside. My prayers changed from seeking a cure to seeking understanding. It has taken a long time to become comfortable with who I am, and even longer to love myself. When I began to feel love, share love, and be filled with love, it was homosexual in nature. I understood that God made me this way, to share his love.
God is love. Fear and repression do not nurture love; they stunt it. Whenever pastors encourage fear, repression, hatred, and ignorance, they are denying God's love. God gave us freewill. He gave us a brain. He gave us curiosity. He gave us the ability to use them, to explore, to discover, to grow, and to understand. Preachers that teach people to not use these tools, are false prophets, seeking only their own vanity and power.
I thank God for loving me and leading me to my own acceptance. The only cure I needed was letting his love into my life. I no longer live in darkness, ashamed of whom I am. I no longer give my power over to others, so that they can think for me. I no longer let fear separate me from God's love. I am a child of God, and the Kingdom of Heaven is within me. It is love.
I am not an abomination. I am not evil. I am not Satan.
I am God's child. I am loved.
And now I am angry.
3 November, 1998
Truth.
We were all raised to never tell a lie. It's so simple. The bible tells us "Seek the truth, and the truth shall set you free." A basic principle that all should live by. Or is it? Ask Rev. Fred Phelps, Rev. Jerry Falwell, and Senator Trent Lott, and you would probably get a "yes" answer. Yet when it comes to Gays and Lesbians, they speak words of hatred, actively seeking the repression of 10 to 12% of the population. How then, can it be, that people who demand honesty and integrity, are working to exclude so many from this basic value in their day to day lives?
Being in the closet is living in repression. It is living in denial. It is living a lie. Gay men and women are fighting to live honestly and openly: something that is taken for granted by the majority of citizens. The conservative right preaches that we are eroding the values of American society. How is living a truthful, open and honorable life an erosion of basic values? It isn't. It is a celebration of those values. Yet when gays and lesbians seek to live in truth, the conservative right actively persecutes, trying to coerce us back into our closets. We are reviled, cursed, threatened and murdered. Truth, it seems, really isn't one of their values.
Their words and actions of hatred will not make us disappear. We will live openly and honestly. We were raised to expect equality, and we demand it. We will not go back in the closet. We will not live in shame. We refuse to live in denial, and we will not lie about who we are.
Our struggle is no longer just for guaranteed equal rights. It is now for the survival of truth.
26 October, 1998
I found David Frum's commentary on NPR (Morning Edition, October 26, 1998) very upsetting. I agree with his point that "the right stance of the law to is to neither condone nor condemn." Which is exactly why we need hate crime legislation.Hate Crimes Legislation is necessary to put an end to the historical pattern of judicial inequity. A system, which imposes more severe penalties on blacks instead of whites, is sinister. A system, which allows a "Twinkie Defense", reducing Dan White's sentence to manslaughter (in the murder of George Moscone and Harvey Milk) is sinister. A system that in 1988, imposed a light sentence on a convicted murderer in Texas, simply because his two victims were gay, is sinister. Establishing criteria that our legal system can no longer ignore is necessary.
As far as his point about a specially protected category, I was unaware that equal rights were a specially protected status. Actually, the only specially protected category that I'm aware of is marriage. When we are denied protection from discrimination, when we are denied property rights, when we are denied the right to marry the person we love, and when we are denied our children, we are relegated to second class status. When marriage is the tool to define who are afforded these rights, it becomes a protected category: reserved for a privileged segment of society.
We can no longer afford to wait for our rights to be granted. They should be ours already. Yet history has shown, this is not the reality. It is time for that to change. It is essential to allow all members of our American society the same rights, the same freedoms and the opportunity to pursue life, liberty, and happiness.
18 October, 1998
Tonight was the Matthew Shepard Vigil in Portland. We went down to Pioneer Courthouse Square, joining probably 2,000 others to mourn, to rally, and to show the religious right we won't be their "whipping boys" any longer. Vera Katz, Mayor of Portland, the assistant Police Chief, Senator Ron Wyden, and many others spoke. The messages were the same: Stop the hate, pass hate crime legislation, and no more deaths. Former Governor Barbara Roberts spoke directly to the religious right about creating an atmosphere of intolerance with the ex-gays conversion ads. The only conversions that should occur would be of those that promote hatred and bigotry, into activists of peace and tolerance. Portland's preeminent drag queen, Darcelle charged the audience to remove hate from our vocabulary. The Portland gay Men's Chorus ended the evening, with the audience joining in on "We Shall Overcome".
I left feeling sad. I think of the lives that are lost because of this climate of hatred and intolerance we allowed to grow. Politicians are using us as scapegoats. Using us to promote fear, they gain power and control. We are their excuse, to promote their agenda of suppression. Their rallying cries infect people with fear. Fear can only be defeated by love. We need to share our love.
We need to love ourselves, stand up and be counted. We need to come out. To our family, our friends, our coworkers, our neighbors, the grocery clerk, the mail carrier, the dry cleaner, it doesn't matter, just come out. We need to let everyone else know we are no different: we have strengths and weaknesses, we share the same hopes and fears, we laugh, we cry, we mourn, and we celebrate. We love.
All of us who aren't out of the closet, all of us who aren't standing up for our basic human rights, all of us who compromise, and all of us who back down to bigotry, are partially responsible for the death of Matthew Shepard. If we are lulled into a sense of complacency, thinking someone else will take care of it. Somebody will, but it won't be those who represent us. It is time for all of us to step up and share the responsibility of fighting for our rights. It doesn't matter how much or how little we contribute, what matters is that we participate. Those of us, who can vote, VOTE! If you think your voice won't be heard, just ask Pat Robertson. Just ask Trent Lott. Just ask Lon Mabon.
One voice can make a difference and a chorus of voices will drown out the words of bigotry.
11 October, 1998
As lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders, our fight for equality, is also a fight for sexual freedom, honesty and integrity. If I stay in the closet, I have no problems. I can enjoy all the privileges white males get to enjoy in this society - at the expense of being honest. As an openly gay white male, I am told that my partner can't be on my medical insurance policy. I am told we don't qualify for a multi-car discount on our auto insurance. Spousal benefits, rights, and privileges are routinely denied. I should not be defined by sexual acts; I should be defined by the content of my character.
If I am denied housing, because I am gay, I am defined by an imaginary sex act. If I am denied employment because I am gay, I am defined by an imaginary sex act. If I am called perverted, I am defined by an imaginary sex act. If I am told I will spend eternity in Hell, I am defined by an imaginary sex act. (What an active imagination homophobes have).
When our publications become so sanitized, mainstreamed and slick, that we can't tell if they are oriented towards a Gay or Straight clientele, we are defined by homophobia. When we ostracize drag queens, we are defined by homophobia. When we debate whether or not the leather community should be in pride parades, we are defined by homophobia. Self-censorship is homophobia.
If we become preoccupied with whether or not we are projecting the right image, we run in danger of forgetting who we are. I am not interested in living in a community that parrots the doctrine of the status quo. Are we really willing to sell our selves short, merely for acceptance? Let's remember our heritage; celebrate the diversity within our community. Let's force the dialogue. Let's push the boundaries. Let's integrate it into our lives and let's not be victims of shame.
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