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Air

sung by Guy Smiley (Jim Henson)
the world's greatest game show host!


[Scene: A barber shop, with two Muppet men. One is the barber. The customer, an old man, is sitting in the barber chair. The first part part is spoken.]

Barber: How short would you like me to cut your hair?

Old Man: What’s that?

Barber [louder]: I said, “Hair”!

[Music starts up as Guy Smiley and a brass band burst into the shop.]

Guy Smiley: Did somebody say, “Air”?

Barber: No, I said, “Hair”!

Guy Smiley [singing]:

Listen up, America
We've got something great for you!
It's something you can feel and breathe and even see right through
It isn't something you can smell
Or taste or eat or see
And please don't send us money --
It's absolutely free

Oh yes, it's air, air, air!
It's the bargain of the day
Air, air, air!
Doesn't look like much but, hey!
It's handy when you're working
It's handy when you play
So get some air, air, air!
It'll blow you right away!

[Guy Smiley and the band leave. The next part is spoken.]

Old Man: What was that all about?

Barber: Oh, never mind. Just sit back in the barber chair.

Old Man: Huh?

Barber [louder]: I said, “Chair”!

[Music starts up again as Guy Smiley and the band burst in.]

Guy Smiley: Did somebody say, “Air”?

Barber: No, I said, “Chair”!

Guy Smiley [singing]:

Oh, you can breathe it with your mouth
Or you can breathe it through your nose
And when you take your shoes off, you can feel it on your toes
It isn't purple, green, or pink
Or red or white or blue
It's kind of hard to spot it, but
It's always there for you!

No taste! No waste!
No tell tale smell, it's swell!
Oh yes, it's air, air, air!
Send for your supply today!
Air, air, air from Maine to Monterey!
Americans just love it!
They breathe it night and day
So get some air, air, air!
It'll blow you right away!

[Guy Smiley and the band leave. The next part is spoken.]

Old Man: Does that happen a lot here?

Barber: No. As a matter of fact, it’s exceedingly rare!

Old Man: What’s that?

Barber [louder]: I said, “Rare!”

[The music starts up again.]

Both: Oh, no!

As originally transcribed by Jon Cooke, with additions from SilveryShoe@aol.com


possibly released on the album

Jim Henson: A Sesame Street Celebration

Jim Henson: A Sesame Street Celebration (1992)
Golden