Grover The Bakera skit with Grover (Frank Oz) and The Blue Guy
(The scene is a bakery. Yummy donuts line the counter, a cake with pink frosting sits next to them. Various types of bread and cakes are on the shelves behind the counter. There are no customers and no one behind the counter. The Blue Guy enters and takes a deep breath smelling the delicious
Blue Guy: "Ahhhh! Bakeries, I love this stuff! Cakes, donuts, cookies! (deep breath) Ahhh! Can I get some help here, please?!"
(Grover enters from the back wearing an apron)
Grover: "Hello, sir!"
Blue Guy: "Oh no, it's you! You're the guy that works over at Charlie's!"
Grover: "Why, yes, sir, I have many jobs. I'm still trying to find my niche in life."
Blue Guy: (exasperated sound) "Okay, okay, I'll make this very simple, I don't want any trouble, I would like one ..."
Grover: (interrupting) "Excuse me, sir, excuse me, sir. But I must ask you to take a number over there. (points to the wall where the number machine is) You see, when your number is called, then you will be served. Please take a number."
Blue Guy: "But I'm the only one in here!"
Grover: "Sorry, sir, it is store policy. The sign outside says, 'John's Bakery', not 'Grover's Bakery'. I only work here."
Blue Guy: (starts to march over to the numbers) "Okay, okay, I'll take a number."
Grover: (walking with him) "Please take a number, right over here, sir, right over here. This machine here will give you a number. Okay, now go ahead. (The Blue Guy reaches into the machine, pulls a lever and takes out a piece of paper with a number on it.) Very good, now what is the number?"
Blue Guy: "40."
Grover: "40, yes, sir, 40 is your number. (Blue Guy lets out a heavy sigh) When I call the number 40, you will be served. Here we go, listen up. (calls out to the empty store) Number 1, anybody have the number 1?! (Blue Guy's mouth drops open in shock) No? No. Okay. (Grover moves over to the other side where the donuts are, his head moving back and forth to cover the entire store) How about the number 2?! Anybody here have the number 2?! Numero dos!"
Blue Guy: (whining voice) "I'm the only one here!"
Grover: (moves back to where he's standing) "Excuse me, sir, I do not tell you how to do YOUR job, do I? Now where was I? Oh, yes. Number 3, anybody have the number 3?! .... How about the number 4? ... I'll wait for it, 4! ... 5?! ... 6?! ... (Blue Guy is starting to quietly fume) ... Anybody have the 7? 7! ... No? How about the 8? ... 9, anybody have 9?! (Grover starts heading for the other side of the counter again, searching the room for an answer) ... 10? .... No? ... How about 11, anybody have 11?!
(He's back in front of The Blue Guy who is now starting to shake from holding in his anger) ... 12?!"
Blue Guy: "I don't believe this!"
Grover: "Do you have the 12, sir?"
Blue Guy: "No!"
Grover: "Then please be quiet. 13! ... 14! ... 15! ... (Blue Guy is muttering under his breath) 16! .."
Blue Guy: "Could you please hurry it up?"
Grover: "Do you want me to start, sir, from the beginning? 17! ... 18! Going once, going twice, 18! ... 19! .... 20! ... 21! Come on, people. 22! ... 23! ... (Blue Guy's muttering becomes a bit louder) I'm sorry, sir, what?!"
Blue Guy: "What?! No, no, just get on with it, please!"
Grover: "Where was I, now, let me think ... (long pause) ... 24! ... 25! ... 26! ... 27! Speak up now! 28, 29! ... 30! Come on now, the big three-ohhh, anybody?"
Blue Guy: (now propping himself up on the counter, checking his ticket now and then, barely able to contain his emotions, he whispers) "I don't believe this."
Grover: "31! Hmmm ... (walks to the donut side) ... ahh, 32! (arms on counter, he leans towards the camera) 33! Hmm ... (walks back to Blue Guy) ... 34! ... (Grover looks behind Blue Guy then stares him straight in the eyes as The Blue Guy quivers in anger) ... 35! ... (Grover looks towards the back of the store, long pause) ... 36! ... (he walks to the doorway leading to the back which infuriates The Blue Guy)
Blue Guy: "Where is he going?! I don't believe this!"
Grover: (walks back out) "37! ... 38! ... 39!"
(The bell over the front door jingles as a woman enters holding a paper number. The Blue Guy looks on in shock.)
Woman: "39? I'm number 39. We have our school picnic today and I have 120 hungry kids. They all want their own donuts, so, Jimmy's number one and he'd like a brown chocolate donut with the little white sprinklies on top, okay?"
Woman: "And number two, Suzie's number two and she wants ... (The Blue Guy faints onto the floor in front of her, she takes a step up to stand on him and continues her order) ... Number two, she'd like a strawberry filled donut ..."
Transcribed by the archive's webmistress Tiny Dancer