Chariots of Fur

a Monsterpiece Theater production
starring Cookie Monster (Frank Oz) as Alistair Cookie
along with Herry Monster (Jerry Nelson) and Grover (Frank Oz)

parody of Chariots Of Fire

NOTE: Bit of trouble understanding the chorus of voices which sing while Herry and Grover run along the beach.

[The theme for Monsterpiece Theater plays, and we see the logo with a flag of some sort on the letter P. Scene changes to a room full of bookcases, with a lamp on a table by the window. Sitting in an armchair is Alistair Cookie, wearing his lovely red robe. He puts down the book he’s reading and takes his pipe out of his mouth.]

Alistair Cookie: Hello there, and welcome to Monsterpiece Theater. Me Alistair Cookie. Today we going to see the thrilling and stirring story of two friends who race down a beach, each helping the other to be the best that he can be. As story begin, the race is about to start. So now, let’s watch “Chariots of Fur.”

[Scene changes to a beach, with seagulls flying through a blue sky full of clouds. Grover and Herry, in white shirts, are standing on the sand.]

Herry: Okay, Grover, old bean, we’re going to run to the end of the beach!

Grover: Oh, welI, uh, I do not think I want to do that, Herry, old chap.

Herry: Well, of course you do, Grover, old bean. Because when we get there, you’re going to get something wonderful!

Grover [with a spark of interest]: Really, Herry, old chap? What is that?

Herry: Oh, you’ll have to wait till we get there before you find out, Grover, old bean. But anyway, running is good exercise. And it’s fun, and it’s good for you!

Grover: Well, then let us begin, Herry, old chap!

[They both take starting positions.]

Grover: Get ready, old chap! Get set, old chap! Go!

[Herry remains in place.]

Grover: Old chap.

[They both start off to instrumental music, a bit like Vangelis’ piece from “Chariots of Fire.” As they run, the camera pans alternately to their feet, then back to their heads.]

Herry: Great, huh?

Grover [panting]: Yes.

Herry: Save your breath.

[Herry is jogging steadily along, but Grover is beginning to weave. He gradually falls back, out of the screen, and we hear him fall down. Herry runs back.]

Herry [picking up Grover]: Come on, little buddy. Here we go.

[As the run continues, background voices are heard, singing.]

Voices: Side by side, [?] the world
Herry’s with the word
Each came to help his friend.
One [?] the other’s hand.
Monsters, drive your chariots of fur!
Your chariots of fur...!
Your chariots of fur...!
Your chariots of fur...!
Your chariots of fur...!
Your chariots of fur...!

[The music and voices fade out as Grover and Herry come to the end of the beach.]

Grover: We did it! Oh! We made it to the end of the beach! And I could not have done it without you, Herry, old chap!

Herry: My pleasure, Grover, old bean!

Grover: Oh! Now, what am I going to get, now that I’ve made it to the end of the beach, Herry, old chap?

Herry: Grover, old bean, you get ...

Grover [excitedly]: Yes, yes, yes, yes...?

Herry: ... to run the other way!

[Herry starts running back the way he came. Grover stands there in shock for a moment or two, then faints. Scene changes back to Alistair Cookie.]

Alistair Cookie: And so end our story of friendship between an old chap and an old bean. Thank you for watching. This Alistair Cookie for Monsterpiece Theater.

[He devours his pipe as the logo and theme for Monsterpiece Theater fades in.]

Transcribed by