Ernie Cleans Up The Apartment

a skit with Ernie (Jim Henson) and Bert (Frank Oz)

Transcriberís note: Itís in two parts and seems to be from the days when Ernieís shirt was red and purple instead of red and blue.

Part One:

[Ernie, singing loudly and wordlessly, is throwing stuff around the living room.]

Bert: Hey, Ernie, cut that out! Cut that out!

[Ernie stops.]

Look at this mess! Boy, you are the sloppiest person I know!
Now, if you donít get this place cleaned up right now, Iím gonna move in with Oscar.
His garbage canís neater than this. Wow!

Ernie: Oh, donít worry, Bert. Iím gonna get this place so clean, you wouldnít recognize it.
Iím telling you, Bert, when Iím finished in here, you could eat off the floor!

Bert [mirthlessly]: Ha, ha, ha. Iíll believe that when I see it.

Ernie: Okay, stand back; just give me some room here ...

Part Two:

[The same scene. Ernie is humming and brushing some dirt into a dustpan.]

Bert [entering]: Hey, Ernie, the place looks terrific! Iíve never seen the place look this good! Hey, are you finished?

Ernie: Well, just about, Bert. I gotta go clean out my toybox.

Bert: Well, go to it! Itís beautiful!

Ernie: Okay, I gotta go clean out my toybox.

[Fast-paced music starts as Ernie takes things out, one at a time, then throws each one over his shoulder after naming it.]

Letís see, I got my Rubber Duckie. Donít want to forget that ...
I got my paper-clip collection ...
my X, to mark the Spot ... my dog, Spot ... thatís his name, Spot ...
Letís see, I got my worm collection ... old tape ... my football helmet ...
my tinfoil ball ... a peanut butter sandwich ...
Letís see ... down here ...

[Scene changes to show Bert standing nearby and sighing as the stuff lands around him.]

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