Ernie The Fast Talker

fuzzy memories of an Ernie (Jim Henson) and Bert (Frank Oz) skit

The scene is the living room where Bert is reading a book or something as Ernie runs in from the kitchen.

Ernie (talking at lightning speed): Hey, Bert, you gotta come real fast into the kitchen, 'cause...

Bert: Ernie, slow down! I can't understand a word you're saying.

Ernie (at the same speed): But, Bert, you gotta come into the kitchen real fast because...

Bert: Ernie, Ernie, you're talking too fast. Slow down.

Ernie (much more slowly, after catching his breath): What I ... wanted ... to tell you ... is that the bread ...

Bert: The bread?

Ernie: ... that you put in the toaster is burning, Bert!

Bert (at double greased lightning speed): My bread is burning?! Well, why didn't you say so, Ernie?!

(Bert dashes into the kitchen, and a minute later we see smoke coming out of it while hearing Bert talking at the same speed.) Oh, no! (Runs out of the kitchen, still babbling.)

Ernie: Bert, you're talking too fast! Slow down, I can't understand you!

Transcribed by Silvery Shoe