Ernie's Ice Cream Cone

a skit with Ernie (Jim Henson) and an Ice Cream Man

We see Ernie standing in front of a cheesy-looking cardboard cutout of an ice cream truck. A man sits behind the wheel wearing a white suit and a red and white striped hat as he's the Ice Cream Man. The signs on the truck say "Slurpy's 25 cents" and "Wahoo 15 cents". Although the truck doesn't appear to be moving, Ernie shouts to him.

Ernie: Hey there, Mr. Ice Cream Cone Man!

Ice Cream Man: Huh?

Ernie: Hey, I wanna ice cream cone!

Ice Cream Man: Okay, just a minute.

(As the man gets out of the truck from behind the cutout, Ernie speaks to the camera.)

Ernie: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, I've been thinking of a very special ice cream cone which I am going to order right now. (patented Ernie Laugh) (the man now stands next to him) Hey, Mr. Ice Cream Cone Man, I want a very special ice cream cone, can you make it up for me? (the man makes an agreeable noise) Okay, here comes the flavour. Now, I would like one (as he recites each flavour, Ernie ticks them off on his fingers ... he has to use a few of them more than once as he only has four!) chocolate-strawberry-peach-vanilla-banana-pastachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch ice cream cone.

Ice Cream Man: What did you say?

Ernie: I said, I want a chocolate-strawberry-peach-vanilla-banana-pastachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch ice cream cone.

Ice Cream Man: You mean you want a chocolate-strawberry-peach-vanilla-banana-pastachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch ice cream cone?

Ernie: Yup!

Ice Cream Man: Okay, I'll be right back.

(The camera moves in on Ernie and the man disappears offscreen. Ernie rubs his hands in anticipation.)

Ernie: Oh boy, I can hardly wait! Hardly wait for my chocolate-strawberry-peach-vanilla-banana-pastachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch ice cream cone!

(The man reappears carrying a cone piled high with different colored ice cream scoops.)

Ice Cream Man: Ha! You didn't think I'd remember that you wanted a chocolate-strawberry-peach- vanilla-banana-pastachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch cone, did ya? But I did!

(As the man recites the flavours, Ernie ticks off each one starting at the bottom of the cone, then begins to scratch his head.)

Ernie: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Listen, you brought me an ice cream cone all right, but you brought me a butterscotch-orange-lemon-peppermint-pastachio-banana-vanilla-peach-strawberry-chocolate cone! And I didn't ask you for that, I asked you for a chocolate-strawberry-peach-vanilla-banana-pastachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch cone!

Ice Cream Man: (starts to wrinkle his face in disgust) You mean ...

Ernie: I mean you put the chocolate on the bottom and the butterscotch on the top and I wanted the butterscotch on the bottom and the chocolate on the top! You made my ice cream cone upside down!

Ice Cream Man: Come on now, it really doesn't matter if you have a chocolate-strawberry-peach-vanilla-banana-pastachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch ice cream cone or a butterscotch-orange-lemon-peppermint-pastachio-banana-vanilla-peach-strawberry-chocolate cone!

Ernie: Doesn't matter? Why, of course it matters. It matters very much that you put the top on the bottom and the bottom on the top! Why, what makes you think that it doesn't matter?!

Ice Cream Man: All right, I'll tell you what, if you wanted the cone to be a chocolate-strawberry-peach-vanilla-banana-pastachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch and I made it instead into a butterscotch-orange-lemon-peppermint-pastachio-banana-vanilla-peach-strawberry-chocolate cone, it's very easy to fix.

Ernie: Hmm ... well, how is it easy to fix when you put the chocolate on the bottom, down here, and I wanted it on the top, up here?!

Ice Cream Man: Simple, just eat the same cone standing on your head!

(Ernie looks surprised and shocked as his hand flies up to his mouth.)

Transcribed by the archive's suddenly hungry webmistress Tiny Dancer