Ernie’s Fortune Cookie

skit starring Ernie (Jim Henson)
and Cookie Monster (Frank Oz)

[Ernie, standing behind a brick wall, is holding a cookie.]

Ernie [to camera]: Hi there! Listen. You haven’t seen Cookie Monster, have you? ‘Cause I just went to Hooper’s store, and David sold me this delicious coconut cookie. And I’m afraid Cookie Monster’ll come along and try to trick me out of it. So I tell you what I want you kids to do. Now, if you either see Cookie Monster or hear Cookie Monster, you let me know, will you? Hmm?

[Unnoticed by Ernie, a shaggy blue head with googly eyes pops up from behind him, then ducks back down.]

Ernie [to camera]: Shhh! Now, if you make all that noise like that, Cookie Monster might hear. I’ll just sneak over here and eat the cookie.

[Ernie comes to a large red machine, vaguely resembling the kind that sells sodas. There is a large slot on the front of it. Above the slot is a sign that says, “Your Fortune Told. Insert One Cookie.”]

Ernie: Ooh! What’s that? It’s one of those funny machines that tell your fortune! See, it says up there: “Your Fortune Told. Insert One Cookie.” Wonderful! I just love having my fortune told.

[A door in the top of the machine opens. The tip of a shaggy blue head with a pair of googly eyes pops out.]

Ernie [to camera]: What’s that? You say you see Cookie Monster?

[He looks around, but not before the head has dropped back into the machine and the door has closed.]

Ernie: I don’t see Cookie Monster. Anyhow, I wonder where I put the cookie?

[A door on the side of the machine opens, and a shaggy blue paw pops out, wiggling as if waiting to be handed something.]

Ernie [to camera]: What’s that? You say you see Cookie Monster?

[He looks around.]

Ernie: I don’t see Cookie Monster. Anyhow, I’ll put the cookie in here ...

[He puts the cookie in the blue paw, and a sound of noisy chewing is heard.]

Ernie [to camera]: What? You say you hear Cookie Monster? I don’t hear Cookie Monster. Anyway, where’s my fortune?

[A card pops out of the slot.]

Ernie [taking the card]: Oh, here we go. It says, “You will soon be kissed by a grateful Cookie Monster!”

[Cookie Monster comes out of the machine and gives him a big kiss.]

Ernie [in shock]: Oh!

Cookie Monster: Thank you for the cookie, Ernie! [He leaves.]

[Ernie, in utter dejection, is speaking to the camera.]

Ernie: Yes, I know! I know. You told me. Oh, you were so smart! And I am so hungry.

Transcribed by Silvery Shoe