I Hate Christmas

sung by Oscar the Grouch (Carroll Spinney)
Words and Music by David Axelrid and Sam Pottle
(c) 1975 Sesame Street, Inc.

Actions from "Christmas Eve On Sesame Street"


[People, laughing and talking, are standing on and around the snow-covered steps of 123 Sesame Street.
Among them are Bob and Mr. Hooper, with their arms full of wrapped presents.]


Bob with his Christmas presents Mr. Hooper with his Christmas presents


[spoken]

Mr. Hooper: Well, Iíll see you later, Bob. I have a little errand to do.

Bob: Okay, Mr. Hooper.

[Mr. Hooper starts off.]

Bob: Oh, Mr. Hooper?

[Mr. Hooper stops and turns around.]

Bob: Happy Hanukkah.

[Mr. Hooperís smile grows a bit wider.]

Mr. Hooper: Thank you, Bob. And a merry Christmas to you.

[Meanwhile, Oscar, in total disgust, is watching this scene from his trash can.
Oddly enough, though, a stocking hangs from his trash can.]


Oscar


Oscar: Merry Christmas, merry Christmas! Huh! I hope their Christmas trees get termites.

[singing]

I canít think of anything thatís dumber.
To a grouch, Christmas is a bummer!

Beaming faces everywhere.
Happiness is in the air.
Iím telling you, it isnít fair!
I hate Christmas!

[Oscar hits Maria in the back with a snowball as she walks by.
Next he goes over to Susan, Gordon, and some kids by the steps.]

People loaded with good will,
Giving presents. What a thrill!

[Oscar hands a girl a newspaper-wrapped package with brown stuff dripping from it.]

That slushy nonsense makes me ill.
I hate Christmas!

[Bob comes out of a door, still carrying a tall stack of presents.]

Iíd rather have a holiday like normal grouches do.
Instead of getting presents, they take presents back from you!

[Oscar grabs one of the presents from Bob, making him drop the whole stack.
A sound of breaking glass is heard.]

Here comes Santa, girls and boys!
So who needs that big red noise?
Iíll tell him where to leave his toys.
I hate Christmas!

[speaking as he heads toward the store]

And if you want the truth, I ainít so crazy about Thanksgiving or Labor Day either!

[On the album, this line is: ďAnd if you want the truth, I ainít so crazy about Easter and Labor Day either!Ē]

[Scene changes to inside the store, where a huge Christmas wreath is on the wall.
Underneath it, Mr. Hooper is hanging a string with the word NOEL dangling from
it in paper letters of silver and red.]

Christmas carols to be sung.
Decorations to be hung.
Oh, yeah? Well, I stick out my tongue!

[Oscars tears off the E and the L, leaving the word NO.]

I hate Christmas!


Mr. Hooper and the sign


[Scene changes to outside the store and the Fix-It Shop, where three musicians are playing
something that sounds like both ďJoy to the WorldĒ and ďThe Twelve Days of Christmas.Ē
In front of them is a kettle on a tripod, like one of the Salvation Armyís.
Two kids walk by, each dropping something in the pot. Oscar comes up.]

Christmas bells play loud and strong.
Hurts my ears, all that ding-dong.
Besides, it goes on much too long!

[Oscar pulls half the bars off a sort of hand-held xylophone.]

I hate Christmas!

[Linda, Maria, and two kids are under the storeís awning, exchanging gifts.
A broom sticks up behind them.]

Iíd rather have a holiday with a lot less joy and flash,
With a lot less cheerful smiling, and a lot more dirty trash, yeah!

[Oscars brushes the awning with the broom, making a load of snow fall on them.
Next minute, he and his trash can are back in their usual spot.]


Maria and the kids getting covered with snow


Christmas Day is almost here.
When itís over, then I cheer!
Iím glad itís only once a year.
I hate Christmas!

(The album version has this added spoken line:)

And whoever hung that mistetoe over my trash can, well, I say, "Phooey!" and "Bah humbug!"

(Oscar goes into his can and slams the lid behind him.)

Transcribed by Heather Kalsisak, with actions added by the fab SilveryShoe@aol.com

Images shamelessly stolen from the equally fab ToughPigs.com


Originally released on the album

Merry Christmas From Sesame Street

Merry Christmas From Sesame Street (1975)
Children's Television Workshop

available on the album

A Sesame Street Christmas

A Sesame Street Christmas (CD)


also available on the DVD

Christmas Eve On Sesame Street

Christmas Eve On Sesame Street
, and on Video