Happy Birthday, Miss Jonesfrom "The Electric Company"
fuzzy memories, not sure if it's complete
Scene: Wild-haired kid with big eyes walking back and forth next to the phone. Note, the words in quotes appear over his head.
Kid: "Happy Birthday, Miss --" ... uh ... er ... nah! "Why, hello there, Miss Jones, I ... " er -- er, no, that's not right.
A friend enters, (two seconds of traffic sounds). Friend is bald, with BB eyes.
Friend: Came right over, what's cooking?
Kid: It's my teacher. It's her birthday and I want to call her up. I want to tell her something special.
Friend: How about "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to You"--
Kid frowns: Nah, everybody says that!
Friend: Welllll, how about "Roses are red, Violets are blue"--
Kid scrunches up his face in disgust at this.
Kid: Nah, I wanna tell her something different! Something, I'll think of something!
(begins to carefully dial. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.)
Miss Jones answers, in a low, sensuous voice: Hello?
Kid: "Happy birthday Miss Jones, you sure got nice--bones!"
Kid winces, CLICK.
Friend: Well, it was different all right.
Transcribed by Mrs. Mishima