Happy Birthday, Miss Jones

from "The Electric Company"
fuzzy memories, not sure if it's complete

Scene: Wild-haired kid with big eyes walking back and forth next to the phone. Note, the words in quotes appear over his head.

Kid: "Happy Birthday, Miss --" ... uh ... er ... nah! "Why, hello there, Miss Jones, I ... " er -- er, no, that's not right.

A friend enters, (two seconds of traffic sounds). Friend is bald, with BB eyes.

Friend: Came right over, what's cooking?

Kid: It's my teacher. It's her birthday and I want to call her up. I want to tell her something special.

Friend: How about "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to You"--

Kid frowns: Nah, everybody says that!

Friend: Welllll, how about "Roses are red, Violets are blue"--

Kid scrunches up his face in disgust at this.

Kid: Nah, I wanna tell her something different! Something, I'll think of something!

(begins to carefully dial. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.)

Miss Jones answers, in a low, sensuous voice: Hello?

Kid: "Happy birthday Miss Jones, you sure got nice--bones!"

Kid winces, CLICK.

Friend: Well, it was different all right.

Transcribed by Mrs. Mishima