Kermit The Frog T-Shirt
Starring Kermit the Frog (Jim Henson), The Salesman (Frank Oz)
Kermit the Gorf, Kermit The Forg, and Kermit the Grof (all by Jerry Nelson)
Harry, another employee of the store (Richard Hunt)
[The Salesman, wearing a shirt that says "salesman", is folding T-shirts; the store door bell rings; Kermit The Frog enters]
Kermit The Frog: Hi-ho!
Salesman: Well, hello, sir. And welcome to The Wonderful World of T-Shirts.
Kermit The Frog: Uh-huh. Uh, good. Uh, yes. I ordered a T-shirt with my name on it. Kermit The Frog, just like it says on my shirt right here.
Kermit The Frog: And you said it would be ready today?
Salesman: Yes, sir. I never forget a face.
Kermit The Frog: Good.
Salesman: Here it is. Your Kermit The Frog T-shirt. [pulls out a T-shirt that says Kermit The Gorf]
Kermit The Frog: Uh.... Oh, oh, oh, no. I-I don't think that says Kermit The Frog. That says Kermit The Gorf.
Kermit The Frog: G-O-R-F. You see, "Frog" is F-R-O-G. Uh, you got the letters kinda mixed up there. I think you made some kind of mistake.
Salesman: [chuckles] I never make mistakes.
Kermit The Frog: [overlapped by the Salesman next line] Uh, no, but that says Kermit The Gorf...
Salesman: No, I'm sorry. I do not make mistakes. I'm sorry.
Kermit The Frog: ... and there's no such person as Kermit The Gorf.
[Store door bell rings; A monster who looks just like Maurice Monster comes in]
Kermit The Gorf: Hi. I'm Kermit The Gorf. Is my T-shirt ready?
Kermit The Frog: [jumps in surprise] Wha...?
Salesman: Oh, yes. Yes. Here it is, sir. [Gives Kermit The Gorf his t-shirt] Your T-shirt. Wear it in health.
Kermit The Gorf: Oh, thanks. [leaves]
Kermit The Frog: That... That's Kermit The Gorf? That's weird.
Salesman: [sighs contentedly]
Kermit The Frog: Uh, and now...
Salesman: Oh, yes, sir. May I help you?
Kermit The Frog: Uh... I told you. I'm Kermit The Frog and I ordered a Kermit The Frog t-shirt.
Salesman: Oh! That is a hot item. Someone else just ordered it. [pulls out a t-shirt that says Kermit The Forg] Here it is. Kermit The Frog t-shirt.
Kermit The Frog: Uh... No, no, no, no. That says Kermit The Forg. F-O-R-G.
Kermit The Frog: And my name is Kermit The Frog. F-R-O-G. There's no such person as Kermit The Forg.
[Store door bell rings]
Salesman: Now, just a moment, sir....
Kermit The Forg: [entering] Hi. I'm Kermit The Forg. You got my t-shirt?
[Kermit The Frog jumps in surprise again]
Salesman: Of course I do, sir.
Kermit The Forg: Ok.
Salesman: [Gives Kermit The Forg his t-shirt] Here is your T-shirt.
Kermit The Forg: Thanks. [leaves]
Salesman: And thank you.
Kermit The Frog: I don't believe this! That's.... that's.... that's... that's... That's really weird!
Salesman: I'm sorry. What may I do for you?
Kermit The Frog: I told you. I'm Kermit The Frog. And I want a Kermit The Frog t-shirt.
Salesman: My, my! That's two other people who asked for that. [pulls out a t-shirt that says Kermit The Grof] Here it is. Kermit The Frog t-shirt.
Kermit The Frog: : Uh.... No, no, no, no! Now that says Kermit The Grof! G-R-O-F. And I'm Kermit The Frog. F-R-O-G. Don't you understand?
Salesman: [as store door bell rings] Now, sir, I understand. I'm an owner of this shop. I...
Kermit The Frog: [as another monster enters] Wait a minute! Don't tell me! You're Kermit The Grof, huh?
Kermit The Grof: Huh? Yeah, yeah.
Kermit The Frog: Yeah, well, take your T-shirt and get out of here!
Kermit The Grof: Huh?
Salesman: [Giving Kermit The Grof's T-shirt] Here you are, sir. Don't mind that customer.
Kermit The Frog: What do you mean "Don't mind that customer"?
Kermit The Grof: Oh. [leaves]
Salesman: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Kermit The Frog: [losing his patience] I want my Kermit The Frog t-shirt now!
Salesman: Now, sir, what may we do for you?
Kermit The Frog: [yelling] I'M KERMIT THE FROG AND I WANT MY KERMIT THE FROOOOOOOOOOOOG T-SHIRT!!!
Salesman: Oh, well, no reason to get emotional.
Kermit The Frog: I'M NOT EMOTIONAL!!!
Salesman: I'll check on that. [calls out to another employee] Harry! Uh... What about that Kermit The Frog t-shirt?
Harry: Oh, that, uh, that'll be ready Thursday.
Salesman: That'll be ready Thursday.
[Kermit The Frog faints]
Transcribed by David Frangioso, who also provided the great pics