Sesame Street News Flash - Kermit In Wonderland

skit starring our intrepid reporter, Kermit the Frog (Jim Henson), and Alice

parody of Alice In Wonderland


Voice-over: We take you now to Kermit the Frog with another fast-breaking news story!

[Scene changes to a room decorated with Victorian furniture.
Next to Kermit is a tiny girl holding a bottle.]

Kermit [talking to an offscreen person]: So whereís the White Rabbit?

[Pause]

Late again, huh?

[He suddenly realizes the cameraís rolling and turns to face it.]

Oh, hi ho, there! This is Kermit the Frog, and Iím speaking to you from Wonderland, where anything can happen and it usually does. And with me is Alice. Hello, Alice.

Alice: Hi there, Kerm.

Kermit: And, Alice, I understand youíve been having some pretty amazing adventures.

Alice: Yeah, thatís right.

Kermit: I see, and ... uh ... incidentally, youíre kind of small, arenít you, even for a little girl?

Alice: Yeah, I know. It mustíve been something I ate.

Kermit: Well, Alice, what is your next amazing adventure going to be?

Alice: Well, Iíll tell you, Kerm. I have this little bottle of water here that says, "Drink Me," so Iím gonna drink it.

Kermit: I see. And what will happen after that?

Alice: I donít know. Weíll see.

Kermit: Well, thatís Wonderland for you, folks. You never know whatíll happen when you drink some water.

[Alice is taking a few gulps from the bottle.]

There she goes, she is drinking the water.

[Alice is starting to grow.]

Wait a minute, whatís happening here?

[Alice keeps growing until sheís a normal-sized girl.]

Wow, Alice, that was amazing! You just took a drink and you got big fast!

Alice: I know I did. You know, that was curiously refreshing. I think Iíll drink some more of this.

Kermit: You sure?

[Alice is already drinking some more of the water and is growing bigger.
By this time, sheís taller than Kermit.]

Kermit: You know, youíre bigger now, Alice!

Alice: I know I am. Well, I might as well finish this drink.

Kermit: You think thatís smart? I mean, thereís a fairly low ceiling in this place ...

[Alice is drinking the remainder of the water and shooting up until we see nothing of her but her legs.]

Kermit: Look out for the ceiling, Alice!

[We hear a tremendous crack and see bits of plaster raining down onto the floor.
By this time, Alice has finally stopped growing.
Only her shoes and stockings are showing in the picture.]

Kermit [disgustedly]: Alice!

Alice: Oh, dear!

Kermit: You hit the ceiling, Alice!

Alice: I know!

Kermit: Are you okay?

Alice: Iím okay. Iím sorry about the ceiling, though.

Kermit: Well, how do you feel?

Alice: I feel big!

Kermit: Well, youíre certainly the biggest little girl Iíve ever seen.

Alice: This is the biggest Iíve ever been.

Kermit: Well, Alice ... youíre real big.

Alice: I am big.

Kermit: Well, Alice, Iím getting a stiff neck just from talking to you ...

Alice: Oh.

Kermit: ... so I guess that the interviewís over.

Alice: Oh, okay. Bye, Kerm.

Kermit: Bye bye.

[Alice walks offscreen.]

Kermit: Boy, Iíve seen big in my time, but she is the biggest ... Hey, whatís down there?

[He bends down and picks up a cupcake labeled "Eat Me."]

She left a cupcake. I think Iíll take a little taste of that.

[He takes a nibble of it.]

Hmm, that tastes rather strange ...

[All at once he gives a shout of surprise as he begins to shrink.
Close-up to show him shrunken out of his clothes.
His head pokes out from the pile.]

Kermit (teeny tiny voice): This is Kermit the Frog returning you to your regularly scheduled program and ...

[He tries to pick up the microphone.]

How am I gonna explain this back at the office?

Transcribed by SilveryShoe@aol.com